SCENE I
(An elaborate mansion. Paintings scattered about the walls. NARRATOR sits in a fancy 17th century chair, sipping a cup of green tea. The BUTLER stands beside a window, admiring the sunrise. The room is exceptionally dark for a luminous sunrise such as this one.)
BUTLER
Sir, may I ask you a question?
NARRATOR
Yes?
BUTLER
What were you like before?
NARRATOR
Before what?
BUTLER
Before, well...
NARRATOR
Before I became rich, with you at my side?
BUTLER
Precisely, sir. Before you were able to read minds as clearly as you did mine just now. And I know you're still wondering why I call you “sir” when you clearly aren't one.
NARRATOR
For once, that wasn't what I had in mind. Hmm.......(Puts cup of tea on a nearby table.) You know, Boswell, I've been thinking...
BUTLER
Hmm?
NARRATOR
(Scoffs.) I should probably have told you the entire story in the first place. The story of how, as some might say, I acquired “great wealth”. Some might also say that it was a mere twist of fate – that I became wealthy by chance, and that no parts of my brain were involved in the process.
BUTLER
They were probably underestimating you, sir. Then again, I only know certain fragments of the tale. But I'm sure you didn't just stand there and watch as the worlds around you altered. Even I admit that you would've become rich without my greatest invention.
NARRATOR
No, no. They were right, except for the last part.
BUTLER
I can't possibly imagine the lengths you had to go through to get all this-
NARRATOR
(Interrupts BUTLER.) Boswell?
BUTLER
Yes?
NARRATOR
I appreciate your sarcastic remarks concerning my past, but I'd rather enjoy the beautiful weather we're having.
(The sun is already up, but several dark clouds consume its brightness. The violet-gray clouds begin to produce a steady rain, and the echoes of thunder awaken once more.)
NARRATOR
(In an irritated tone.) Boswell, WHY is it raining NOW?
BUTLER
Sorry, sir. As much as I can customize your fashionable needs, I cannot control the weather.
NARRATOR
Well, in that case – why don't we go back to before the storm?
BUTLER
Pardon me, sir?
NARRATOR
Before it all began...
SCENE II
(A team of reporters – LILLIAN, VICTORIA, KATEY, and DENICE - dressed in snow boots and goggles, carrying pickaxes. Alaska. A blinding blizzard.)
KATEY
How – much – longer??!!
LILLIAN
We're almost there, guys.
DENICE
How do you even know where we're going? It's impossible to see!
LILLIAN
There's something called a map.
DENICE
(Looks back.) This is not my idea of a summer vacation. Why does it have to be so cold out here?
LILLIAN
It's Alaska. What did you expect, a suite in the Bahamas with twenty-four-hour room service and a private jet plane? (Stops. Lifts pickax. Pickax crashes down on block of ice. Others begin to do the same.)
KATEY
Very funny. And I presume we're all here for the same reason?
LILLIAN
Not unless you're looking for something other than buried treasure. Hey, look! There's something right there!
VICTORIA
That's a penny.
LILLIAN
Yes, I can see that.
KATEY
Honestly, what is it exactly we are looking for?
VICTORIA
If you ask me, neither of them knows. Which is why we're out here.
KATEY
Couldn't we have figured that out before going 10,000 miles away from home where the only things that are alive are us?
DENICE
Try telling that to Lillian. (Rolls eyes.) I can't believe I actually came along on this stupid trip. All those years of majoring in journalism - going down the drain just like that. I can't even use my new camera out here... (Attempts to snap fingers, but her hand is frozen.) If anyone asks, we're all here for the same reason.
KATEY
Who in the world would ever ask?
(A strange, eruption-like noise. The ground shakes a bit. It appears as though VICTORIA has hit something in the ice.)
LILLIAN
Whoa. That's huge!! How are we going to LIFT that?!
VICTORIA
It looks like some sort of machinery.
DENICE
Whatever.
KATEY
Maybe the “power” button will defrost it. (Starts to pick up ax.)
LILLIAN
Hold on. We might break it that way...
(The four reporters think for a minute, then ultimately decide on pulling it out together. After several failed attempts, the giant frozen machine is brought forth from the surrounding ice.)
KATEY
Wow. It's much heavier than it looks.
VICTORIA
What do you suppose it is?
DENICE
We'll never know unless we try it out. (Starts to press different buttons.)
LILLIAN
Wait! What if it's not something we should be toying around wi-
SCENE III
(Flash of light. The four reporters find themselves in the middle of a bustling town. The town market is crowded, with several stores and dozens of people dressed in 80's clothing shopping, chatting, and running errands. There is a fruit stand nearby. The sun is blindingly bright, and several trees occupy the empty space near the stores.)
DENICE
Where..........are we?? Is this some kind of a joke??!
LILLIAN
I think we may have just traveled back in time.
DENICE
Are you crazy? Time machines aren't real! You can't just go back in time at the push of a button!
(FRUIT VENDOR approaches, wearing a simple farmer's outfit and a large, straw hat.)
FRUIT VENDOR
Oh, but you can.
KATEY
Excuse me?
FRUIT VENDOR
Time is but a loose fabric; all one needs is a decent excuse to travel, and the willingness to fix a broken past.
LILLIAN
What do you mean by that?
FRUIT VENDOR
(Shocked.) I – I must be going...(Lowers hat. Carefully walks back to fruit stand.)
VICTORIA
That was rather strange. I wonder who he was?
LILLIAN
This is going to make a very interesting news story when we get home. Is anyone already taking notes?
DENICE
(Turns sharply to face her.) Whoever said we were going back home?
LILLIAN
What?
DENICE
You heard what that guy just said. We can go back in time and fix things. Anything we want. Which means that in the future, we'd be rich with our own, personal servants.
KATEY
There she goes again fantasizing...
VICTORIA
She might have a point there, though.
LILLIAN
(Laughs.) Come on, guys. You don't really think this time machine stuff is going to make us rich, do you? I bet this is all just some sort of a prank. It'll all be over soon, and we'll be back to our normal little life as a team. Not that our lives are normal or anything.
VICTORIA
Well, we can start with Denice, then. After all, this IS her town....
(The four finally realize where they are – a miniature town in Virginia where DENICE grew up until she was 8.)
KATEY
But first – we should eat! I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry....and we did just pass a fruit stand.
(DENICE runs back to fruit stand. She talks with the FRUIT VENDOR, but the others are too far away to hear the conversation. She returns with a sack of assorted fruit and a strange expression on her face.)
KATEY
Wow, that was.........fast. How much did you – Denice?? Are you OK?
DENICE
I'm just fine guys, but I have a confession to make.
VICTORIA
What?
DENICE
This fruit here? I just stole it. All of it. That guy didn't even know what hit 'em! He said I had to pay for it, but I took it all anyway. Can you believe he actually fell for it?
(The four stare at her in shock.)
KATEY
You can't possibly be serious....maybe you should rest. All of this time-traveling nonsense has clearly gotten to your head.
LILLIAN
Shh! Listen! She's trying to tell us something here!
VICTORIA
Maybe you need a rest yourself.
LILLIAN
I'm serious! What if this has something to do with the time machine?
KATEY
You still believe that thing is a time machine, and that we're all in the '80s?
DENICE
Come to think of it, I remember stealing a time machine once, too. It was the greatest thing I ever did. Somehow, it got stuck in Alaska and I remember the first thing I saw through that portal coming out of it -
(DENICE is interrupted by KATEY, who tries to shake some sense into her.)
KATEY
Snap out of it, already!
DENICE
Huh? What?
KATEY
(Sighs.) Finally.
LILLIAN
Great. Thanks a lot, Katey. Now we'll never know.
KATEY
What is there to know?
DENICE
Did I miss something?
VICTORIA
No. Nothing trivial has happened. Yet.
KATEY
By the way, did you ever steal anything?
DENICE
Me? (Laughs.) Of course not. Now why would I ever do a thing like that?
VICTORIA
Well, that settles it. My turn to use the time machine!
LILLIAN
I thought you didn't believe it was real.
VICTORIA
As long as I can clean up my past, who cares?
KATEY
Fine. Let's go.
SCENE IV
(LILLIAN shakes her head, but comes along anyway. Before VICTORIA could push the button, KATEY intervenes and the team decides to travel to her town instead. VICTORIA avoids getting angry with KATEY because she knows it would be of no use. The four now arrive at a carnival in a slightly larger yet unrecognizable town, in front of a fortune-telling booth.)
VICTORIA
Nice place you got here.
KATEY
(Grins.) It may not be a city, but it's exciting as ever.
VICTORIA
So what was your “big mistake”?
KATEY
I accidentally agreed to go to a fortune-teller. How absurd! That fortune ruined my entire day, and I was fired from my job! Actually, I was fired because I secretly sold a few tickets for a higher price than usual. But that was only because of what that fortune teller -
(FORTUNE TELLER emerges from booth, dressed as a magician with a pointed hat.)
FORTUNE TELLER
I see a herd of restless spirits!
KATEY
And I see a businessman. Come on, guys. Let's get out of here.
(The reporters start to leave.)
FORTUNE TELLER
You'll be back – they always are. (Evil laugh.) Of course, if you don't want to become rich someday with a mansion and personal servants...
KATEY
(Eyes light up. Turns back.) I sure do! How did you know??! Come on, guys! Let's go get our fortunes told!! I bet this fortune teller is different, anyway.
(VICTORIA, DENICE, and LILLIAN trail behind. They enter the booth, which is lit artificially with shades of violet, as well as by candlelight. There is some incense on a shelf. FORTUNE TELLER approaches a table.)
FORTUNE TELLER
Your question, I presume, is how you can alter the past so that each and every one of you can acquire great wealth?
KATEY
Of course!! How did you know that in the first place?
FORTUNE TELLER
I am a fortune teller. I'm supposed to know these things. Now, I shall see into your future present. (Closes eyes.) You will all courageously attempt to alter the past, some for money, others for vengeance. But only one of you shall succeed in acquiring what his or her heart desires most. The rest shall fall into bottomless pits of shame and fail to remember a thing of their present desires. (Opens eyes.) Now, have I fulfilled my task as a fortune teller?
KATEY
You have, but you've left me with more questions than when we came in. Which one of us is going to acquire great wealth? Is it me??
FORTUNE TELLER
I'm a fortune teller, not a magician. I can't tell you more than I already know.
KATEY
Can you tell us, then, how you know this to be true?
FORTUNE TELLER
I'm afraid not. I can't tell you more than I already know. (Eyes LILLIAN suspiciously.) I really must be going. (Hurriedly runs toward a tent and enters.)
KATEY
Huh. That was weird.
LILLIAN
Not really. I think that fortune teller was -
VICTORIA
Trying to tell us something? Get a grip, Lillian. You're really not helping at all.
LILLIAN
Well, neither are you. In fact, none of you have done anything for the team ever since we left Virginia.
KATEY
(In a mocking tone.) Why Lillian, I'm astounded. I thought you wanted to become rich too.
LILLIAN
(Sighs.) OK, I wouldn't mind being rich and living in a mansion, but that's not the most important thing there is.
DENICE
Well, to us, it is. And I'm afraid 'teamwork' means that each and every one of us has to be for one thing and one thing only.
LILLIAN
I AM with you guys! I just want to get a good story out of this. Like I said, I really don't mind getting rich someday.
SCENE V
(The others glance at LILLIAN, then slowly start up the gray, rusty metal box called the 'time machine' again. The red light of its button starts flashing different colors, and the time machine makes strange noises for the first time its ever been used by the team. This time, their endeavor fails to take them where they want to go – Victoria's home in New Jersey. Instead, they end up on a mountain. The sky is dark and ominous. Thunder roars as rain pours down steadily.)
VICTORIA
This is definitely not home.
KATEY
Thanks a lot, Lillian. You've really done it this time.
LILLIAN
What did I do now?
DENICE
It WAS your idea in the first place to go to Alaska and find something for a news story. Look where we are now! There probably isn't a habitable place for miles!
KATEY
(Sighs.) I should have just stayed home.
VICTORIA
Hang on, I see something over there.
(Walks over to edge of cliff. Picks up a shiny object that appears to be a mirror.)
DENICE
Well, what have you found?
SCENE VI
(In an instant, both VICTORIA and LILLIAN are nowhere to be seen. KATEY and DENICE suspect that they time-traveled, and secretly vow to never speak to them again. Meanwhile, VICTORIA and LILLIAN arrive in a dark, cold room. Black-out. Although the room is pitch-black, they can clearly see themselves. There are two spotlights on-stage, but nothing else.)
VICTORIA
Why is it that every time something happens, you say that it's no big deal?
LILLIAN
Just because I do doesn't mean I have anything at all to do with any of this. I'm just as confused about this stuff as you are.
VICTORIA
Well I'm tired of trying to fix my past. Let's just go home.
LILLIAN
I would, but I don't know if we can...
VICTORIA
Why not?
LILLIAN
I....I don't know where the time machine is.
VICTORIA
What??! You mean you.....LOST it??!
LILLIAN
Not really. I just don't know where it is at the moment.
VICTORIA
(Scoffs.) So much for 'teamwork'.
LILLIAN
Why do you guys keep saying that? It really isn't me that's-
VICTORIA
(Interrupts LILLIAN.) Who made us go to Alaska?
LILLIAN
I didn't MAKE anyone go. You guys chose to join me.
VICTORIA
Of course we did! What other choice did we have? Sit back and watch as you get that news story AND that promotion and we spend the rest of the hours rehearsing for another broadcast?
LILLIAN
Oh, so it's all about the money now. I told you before, I honestly don't care if I get filthy rich or not.
VICTORIA
Well, I'M going to get rich, whether or not I get that news story, and I honestly don't care if you will be.
(VOICES start laughing.)
