My Interview with (Al)phonse Elric

Me: Hey everyone! I'm here today with the other Elric, Alphose! How ya doin'?
Alphonse: Hi, I'm doing great and you?
Me: Just peachy! Thanks for asking!
Alphonse: No problem.
Me: Okay so what's it like being mistaken for the "older" Elric?
Alphonse: It gets old after ahile actually. And quite offensive at that. I would like people to not to just assume that I'm the older one just because I appeartaller than Edward. And he gets mad every time, requiring me to hold him back.
Me: Oh it's okay. I mean, it's not like it's your fault that Ed hasn't hit his growth spurt yet. He's just a little on the short side right now.
(Ed in the background): WHAT DO YOU MEANSHORT SIDE!?! I'LL SHOW YOU SHORT!
Me: EDWARD YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR INTERVIEW! I SAID I WOULD GET BACK TO YOU DIDN'T I!?!
(Ed): YEAH, YOU SAID YOU WOULD GET BACK TO ME, NOT TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.
Me: YOU STAY RIGHT WERE YOU ARE AND SHUT UP YOU HEAR ME!?! SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT FOR YOUR BROTHER! AND BESIDES, I TOLD YOU THAT I LIKE YOU FOR YOU SO THERE!
(Ed): OH YEAH WELL...WAIT YOU DID SAY THAT. MY BAD. *nervous giggle* SORRY AL!
Alphonse: IT'S OKAY.
Me: Back to the interview; you have a habit of finding cats and keeping them inside of your armor. Are they attracted to you or what?
Alphonse: Well, sometimes I see one that is looking kinda hungry and I start to feed him. When I walk off, he follows. Then that's whenI get attached and I know that brother wouldn't want one to follow us around so I just decide to hide it in my armor so Edward doesn't get mad.
Me: Aw, shame on Edward.
Alphonse: Well, he's not always like that. Sometimes he likes to pet them.
Me: Aw, way to go Edward.
Alphonse: Then the kitty goes *bite, bite* on Edward's hand.
Me: Ouch! Poor Edward!
Alphonse: Yup, started crying on the spot. Hurt my ego to be seen with him at that moment.
Me: We all have our moments. On to the next question; what is your favorite past time?
Alphonse: I enjoy watching brother make a fool of himself from time to time. But only for a moment...one, short, brief, miniscule, tiny, itty-bitty, moment. Then I become concerned and try to help him out in the best way I can.
Me: Aw, that's nice! Does he ever thank you?
Alphonse: Well, by the time he gets revenge on whoever caused himhis embarassment. He forgets, but deep down I know that he is grateful!
Me: SEE THIS PEOPLE! THIS IS AN IDEAL BROTHER! AWESOME, RIGHT?
Alophonse: Aw, that's not necessary really! Thank you!
Me: No problem. Uh, that's all the time I've got for right now but perhaps we can go for another interview later, huh?
Alphonse: Sounds good to me!