Too many things happen for reasons unknown. Reasons we wish we knew. Why did they happen, what will happen next, how am I to continue? Deaths of family, friends, loved ones, jobs, and homes. What is supposed to happen after, after everything is lost?
Hope seems out of reach, not near enough to think about. A black hole is what’s left and I am stuck in the middle of it. I have no family, friends, home, or job for a living. The streets are my home, I am my own friend and family, and surviving is my job. Giving up is not a choice for me. Giving up is weakness will never be my choice.
The streets were filled with light. I sat in the alleyway darkness, a box over my head. Rain was falling and I hoped it wouldn’t pour all night. My clothes were dampening at a quick rate and a shiver went up my spine. Glumly, I reflected how my life came to be this. Only 17 and living on my own. I had had dreams to be famous, have a high paying job in Art and a loving husband with a nice house.
It was the fires fault. Burned the house down and family with it. I was the only survivor and on my own. Arson had been suspected in the fire and I knew who it was. A family company, Cambridge & Co., had a reputation for silencing people they were displeased with. My father had cheated company after company out of money and finally was caught, by them. My father had never really been ‘fatherly’ but he deserved better than a fiery death. I was angry at the fact it took everyone close to me.
Mother, sister and brother gone. Other relatives thought me dead also. I was taken by men threatening to kill anyone I went to and told, including myself. Raped, beaten and left to die in the woods, I was found by an angel. He had to have been. He was so beautiful with fair, fine, sharp features and glowing blond hair. Strong arms lifted me and brought me to a warm house. He only spoke in a low voice to me, murmuring questions and reassurances holding me tight. I was only 11 at the time and found solace in those arms.
I will never forget him, my savior. Then the day came when I was back on my own. I had come back from a walk in the woods and found a note lying on the table.
'They are coming and know where we are. I cannot be found with you, I'm truly sorry. Please run away from here, far as you can. You are on your own now. Take the money from under the bed and use it wisely. Change your name and never mention your actual one, it's too dangerous. Someday soon I'm sure we will meet again.Please be careful Christy.'
There had been no name and I started to panic. I was scared and alone. Grabbing the note and stuffing it in my jeans pocket, I ran to the bed. The money was in a bulging cloth bag. Quickly, I snatched it and with one last look at the cabin, I ran for my life. Days went on with me running and walking, scared to waste the money on transportation and hotels. I hoped day after day to find my angel and with no luck my hope diminished. Years later I made my way to a city in California.
And here I am today, nearly soaked through, my box collapsing from saturation. I curled into a ball, checking the note was safe in it's plastic bag along with the money ,and dozed off. The rain had stopped and when I woke the sun was peeking above the buildings. It was time for me to find some money.
I went to a window and made my self as presentable as I could in its reflection. My clothes were only halfway dry but they would have to do. Thankful for my innocent and charming disposition, it was easy to get a job for a few days. Most people would see my situation and do anything to help me. That kindness always surprised me.
The sun beat down warming my limbs. That was what I liked about California, the warmth in the day all year. I started walking the route I made through the city daily. Hopefully there was something close by. Today wasn’t one of the better days. Last night’s relapse had taken quite a bit of what was left of me.
Marcheline was working at the grocery store on the corner. She would hire me for the day.
“Hi Marcheline.” I walked over to the register. She was placing bags out for the day. “Need any help today?”
“Mm, no sorry. We have some big company people coming today. Really soon actually.” Marcheline’s head popped up from under the counter, her long curly black hair flowing over her shoulders. Her hair was so beautiful. I wished mine was like hers and not it's straight, plain, dull brown self. “They want to buy the store and convert it to something else. Cambridge, I think they’re called, buying up next door too…”
My body went rigid, hands ice cold. Marcheline prattled on but I didn’t hear any of it. Cambridge repeated tonelessly in my head. The thing I ran away from, feared and hated was coming straight to me.
Shallow ragged breathing came to my ears and it took me a second to realize it was me. Marcheline stood staring at me like I grew a second head.
“Norah?” I didn’t, couldn’t answer. “Are you alright?”’
I knew I had to start running. Adrenaline was starting to course through my veins. Still my legs wouldn’t obey the instinct to run. I was in shock. The door chimed and my eyes widened. A face I never thought, never wanted to see again stood less than fifteen feet away from me. Realization of who was who flickered in both our eyes.
