sonny.bulimic.moore

6th period. i couldn't stop sweating. my breath was really shallow and i had to keep moving in order to keep my mind off of it. i was having a fix. i needed to do something about it. i never realised it had gotten this bad. i finally couldn't take it anymore. I raised my hand flitting it around to get the teacher's attention. Ms. Carnes, the drawing teacher, caught my hand and called on me. "Yes bella?" i took a deep breath, "Can i go to the bathroom please?" she nodded her head yes and i immediately leaped off my stool, grabbing my belongings on the way.

When i got to the bathroom, a couple girls were standing at the mirrors applying their make-up and talking about the lastest gossip floating the halls of Fleming High School. I shoved passed them going straight to the handicapped stall pulling out my baggy of coke and setting it up on the toilet paper holder. Once i knew that the girls were no longer present, i whipped out the straw i would use to snort it. I did about 4 lines before sitting on the floor and taking a deep breath. I hadn't realised the bell had rung in the background of my thoughts.

There was a frantic knock coming from somewhere, but i couldn't place it. I opened my eyes to find myself laying on the floor of the girls restroom and someone screaming my name. When my vision became more clear i saw Sonny looking down at me. His eyes averted to the scene before him. Taking in everything he could. "How? Why? Bella? What the hell are you doing?" he said softly kneeling down to be eye level. I couldn't think of anything to say. This boy, whom i never wanted to find out my secret, found it out in having known me for less than 24 hours. What the fuck am i going to do? I blocked out his questions, only trying to gather my thoughts. How was i supposed to explain this one. My bag of coke was left on the toilet paper holder, next to the leftover residue of the lines i had just done, as well as the straw i used to injest this horrible drug. The only thing i could do was breakdown.I hadthought about running, but where to? Matt will be waiting by my car. I looked up at Sonny trying to read his expression. I couldn't tell if he was angry or if he would never want anything to do with me again. Tears running down my face i spoke, "Sonny i don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared Sonny. I..I..I think i'm addicted." he took me in a hug while wiping my tears. "Shush, Bella here lets get you cleaned up, Matt sent me to find you he's probably getting worried." He helped me up while i picked up my stash and wiped everything up. I washed off my face and we headed out towards my car. I couldn't really find out what to say, i just kept glancing in his direction. Only to find his eyes fixed straight ahead and his face expressionless. "ummmm....Sonny. I..I'd really appreciate it if this didn't get out to the guys. Especially Matt, i can't face that just yet." i looked up to see him staring at me. "I can't keep that promise Bells. I'll try for as long as i can. But you have to promise me something." he paused for me to nod. "Whenever you feel a fix, come to me. I'll help you through it. Okay? No matter what time it is, where ever you are, call me and i'll be there to help you. Promise me?" i looked down contemplating it. I didn't want his sympathy, but i really did need help. And maybe that's just what i needed. My mom is too busy working 2 jobs to even notice when i'm high, let alone help me with a fix. And my brother moved in with grandma about 45 minutes away, and he wouldn't help me through it anyway. He's never been one to really be able to run to with all my problems. That all stopped when i was like 9. I merely shook my head and said ok. He took my answer for all it was worth and gave me a piece of paper. It said:

Sonny
310-555-8798

I smiled at the paper and then up at him. Before i knew it i was in my car driving to Matt's house, having asked my mom and her answer being yes, and trying to stay focused on the road; having troubles due to the two crazy boys making me laugh the whole way there.


Having friends may not be that bad.