sonny.bulimic.moore

October 13. 10 days from my 18th birthday. I've been in this school for a month and a half and the only friends i have made in the city of dreams are drugs. I was currently in my Anatomy class sketching the cells off the board when i felt like i was being starred at. I very slyly looked to left, cosidering the only thing to my right were cabinets, and met the eyes of...uhhh...i think his name was stanley, sonny...something like that. I don't pay much attention to the role call. Once he realised thati had caught him he immediatly averted his eyes getting back to writing down the notes.

Now even though i don't have any friends, i still talk to people. I talked to Matt. Mattew Good was the one and only person i talk to in this god forsaken place. But i wouldn't go so far as to call him a friend. I don't want to get attatched. He has his own group of friends, and even though he's invited me to hang out with them at lunch a couple times, i always turn him down. Just for the shear fact of not wanting them to pity me for the mess i've gotten myself into. I don't need sympathy. And i sure as hell don't want to drag them down with me.

It was currently lunch time and Matt and I have parted ways, i think he's finally given up on having me tag along to his circle of friends. I was now seated underneath a tree eating an apple, and listening to Placebo. Realising i was a bit thirsty, i picked myself up off the ground, gathered my HIM bag, and headed towards the nearest vending machine. On the way i had to pass Matt's table, Bad idea, i was pulled by the arm and stuffed into a seat right next to Matt. After getting my arm back, i looked up to come face to face with those same brown eyes i had been associated with earlier today.

I looked away almost instantly, suddenly becoming very self-conscious and turned my gaze towards Matt. "What the hell was that for?", I screamed at him. He laughed at my sudden outburst, "well i got tired of you always turning down eating with me, so i decided to take initative. Here let me introduce you to the guys, that's travis. Right over there is Derek. And right in front of you is Sonny." he said pointing to each guy after their respected names. I smiled at them and gave thema small wave, "Isabella Carson." They all said their hellos before going back to their recent conversations. I was looking down at my hands when Matt noticed my shyness. "Hey Bella, what's up?" he whispered. I smiled up at him"Just shy that's all...lotsof new people." He nodded and went on talking to Travis. That'swhen i heard a small "hey". I looked up at Sonny and saw a smile on his face. "There's no reason to be shy, we don't bite." he winked at me.Iblushed and smiled at him, not knowing exactly what to say to that. In class he seemed so shy. Where'd this new found confidence come from? "So tell me about yourself, Bella Carson, are you new here?" i looked away slightly, looking away from the piercing eyes staring right through me. "No, i've lived here for about 6 months. I started going here last year." He looked at me surprised. "Really? I never saw you last year. Shows how much i pay attention. So how you liking LA?" I frowned a little at that comment. "It's okay i guess. When i moved here i was expecting something way different." he just nodded. "well you haven't experienced Los Angeles if you haven't experienced it with me!!!" He shouted with a giant smile gracing his face. I couldn't help but smile tomyself. Just then Matt ruffled my hair. "Hey, not the hair!!" i exclaimed looking at him with mock anger. He laughed and carried on "You wanna come over to my house tonight? We're all just gunna hang out." i looked at him apprehensively, not knowing if i really should. "ummm...uhhh...i don't think i'll be-" just then Matt gave me a pleading look. "Alright, i'll see if i can k? I just have to know where you live." he smiled and put up his hand. "Not a problem, i'll meet you by your car after school. We'll ask your mom, then i'll direct you to 'Casa de la Matt'. k?" i shook my head but agreed anyway. "I'll come too!!! i wanna go in Bella's car!! oooh...ooooh...can i come too bella? can i? can i?" Sonny very excitedly asked. I laughed and nodded, adding "Of course you can, how could i say no to that?" I looked around at everyone at the table, noticing their smiles.

maybe this is what it feels like to "fit in."