x_Goodnight, Love_x .:-Kabuto Yakushi-Oneshot-:.

I walked aimlessly through the dark passageways, sighing.
“Lord Orochimaru, where are you?!”
I felt my palms starting to sweat uncontrollably. He said he would be home early. He said that he would have time to train me.
I nearly laughed at myself. What a foolish thought- that Lord Orochimaru would hold on to his word. Not when he was with Sasuke, I should have known that. But I had no control over the tension I felt. Maybe, one day, he will change. Maybe one day he will realize that I am the loyal one.
I sighed again. I couldn’t lie to myself, I was jealous. I was Jealous because my last name wasn’t Uchiha. What a worthless feeling. I felt unneeded- which, in ways, was true. He barely paid notice to me anymore. I was a pet, a puppet. Only used by him for his convenience. That didn’t bother me at first, but it was definitely taking over the better part of me, now. He had vowed that I would be his right-hand man from the start to the end. He claims it to still be true, but I’m not stupid. I can see what he’s doing. Well, maybe I was a little stupid, but only for thinking that Lord Orochimaru couldn’t deceive me..., but he has. Indeed, he’s a clever master.
And yet, after all that he’s put me through, I couldn’t dream of leaving him. I mean, if I get like this when he’s gone for two hours, I couldn’t imagine not seeing him at all.
I heard footsteps coming from behind me. I twirled around with a sudden feeling of hope, only to be disappointed. It was Sakon. He looked at me with an obvious annoyed expression.
“Lord Orochimaru sent me to tell you that he won’t be home until later.”
Of course, I thought.
“Thank you, Sakon.” I waited until I heard his footsteps disappear and lifted my fist up. I punched the wall as hard as I could without breaking it. I must have been crazy to think that Lord Orochimaru would change. He wouldn’t, but that didn’t keep me from loving him. It couldn’t. I was under his grasp in so many ways that he would never know, and it made my heart sink just to think about it. Stupid, I thought. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
I had nothing left to do or think about. I trailed off in a direction that only my feet knew while I stared blankly, unconsciously ahead. I was irritated, but couldn’t feel it just yet. I couldn’t quite pinpoint a time when he really did look at me with the same eyes I looked at him with. I couldn’t think of a single time when he acknowledged the favors I did for him. He couldn’t see that I was willing to do anything for his love. He only saw that I would obey him, that I would be loyal.
I looked up to find myself in my room. It was empty, dark, and gave me the chills. I ran my fingers through my bangs, threw the door close behind me, and leaped onto my bed. I stared at the ceiling’s orange glow from the candles. I watched its movements. The flame’s shadow flickered and tossed upon the wall and calmed when there were no more sudden movements.
I felt exhaustion crawl into my system slowly. I didn’t fight it. My eyes burned from tears working up and my eyelids felt as though they weighed a ton. I had never, ever felt this pathetic until now. The truth was that I was tired of it all. Tired of working so hard to impress someone who would never think of me more than a subordinate.
“Orochimaru-sama.”
I stood up, thinking, ‘Maybe there’s at least a small chance that he remembered my training.’
“Kabuto- kun, I know you’ve been waiting for your training.” He hasn’t forgotten, after all.
“But I have some things to work on with Sasuke. I’m sure you understand, Kabuto-kun.” My head lowered slightly, but not enough for him to notice.
“Y-yes, Orochimaru-sama.” I bowed again and started to leave.
“Kabuto-kun.” Without turning around, I answered, “Yes, Orochimaru-sama?”
“Kabuto, try to stay out of our way. We’ll be through the halls for this training.”
“Yes, Orochimaru-sama.”
With that, I began walking back to my room. Lord Orochimaru angered me so. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldn’t take this. Even when he takes Sasuke’s body, he will still disrespect me. He would just train me for my body. He doesn’t want me for me. He wants me for my body. For a vessel.
I walked into my room and closed the door. Thoughts raced about my head, and not good thoughts, either.
“I can’t live like this, I’m not going to.”
That was my decision. I couldn’t live and escape this place at the same time, I knew that. But I had gone through the same things for years, now. I was worn and incapable of respecting Orochimaru-sama any longer. But I still loved him…I always would.
“Then that’s that.” I said to myself, grabbing a kunai from my desk.
This was it. I loved Orochimaru, but I could no longer live with him. I couldn’t take it anymore. I searched for the right spot. Where would I take myself down?
My heart. How typical. Attacks to the heart were so typical, but yet they never get old. Not if you have the right reason to be struck in the heart. I believed I did. I lifted the hand with the kunai in the air and stared at it.
I fell to the ground. I could feel no pain at all. I closed my eyes and smiled. I had done it. I had escaped my love for good, now. Wherever I was headed to, I wouldn’t carry this burden anymore. No more jealousy. I felt my body being slowly drained.
I felt myself slipping away. I was approaching a stopping point, for sure.
I pictured Orochimaru-sama’s face and felt tears sliding down my cheeks. I was never meant to be with him,…I knew that. I should’ve known that all along. I should have known a lot of things. Oh, well.
I could no longer inhale. My lungs started to close and my body felt cold and numb. I suddenly felt something warm against my lips, though I couldn’t move them. I tried to open my eyes, I wanted to see. I finally forced them open, but barely. Just enough to see. I could see black hair draped over a shoulder and shiny silver earrings…It was Orochimaru-sama. My love.
I felt more tears sliding out of my eyes and arms over my shoulders. This wasn’t a dream, or death, I was certain. His lips pressed harder against mine. I had little consciousness left. I wanted to be back. I wasn’t ready, anymore. I didn’t want to go away. I was quickly fading.
Everything was black. I could no longer see Lord Orochimaru. I wasn’t even sure I was there anymore. I slipped away, hearing Orochimaru’s last words to me.
“Goodnight, Love.”