It was these stupid parties that Aaron and I would swear to ourselves we would never go to. We made a pact over vanilla and bubblegum ice cream on a freezing day in August, once upon a time the day before freshman year started, when you could care about school work and not be “accidentally” pushed into trash cans, before people who did care were the last picked for teams in Gym class, before people realized that Aaron McMahon was a fine sight to stare at. We promised not to ever join in an A-list party - all they lead to was bad news. So what am I doing here on a Saturday night, standing on Tiffany Shaw’s front door step, waiting for somebody to let me in? Well… if Aaron somehow finds out and asks - what the hell are you doing here - I can always say just to make fun of it afterwards? I mean, it’s not like I want to be here, Julie forced me into coming.
“Kia, come on! Get out of your shell once in a while! This is the perfect chance to show everyone that you do other things than sit in your room with a book all weekend!” Julie had cornered me two days before on my way to Biology. Julie Fatherway, one of the head cheerleaders supporting Middleton High’s Wolverines Football Team and one of the smartest girls in the grade, just happened to be my best friend since that first day of freshman year. We were both lost and immediately bonded over the fact that we owned brown paper bags for our food instead of wallets with cash. I haven’t left her side since. Of course, she is always trying to get me into being more “nice” and have a better view on the popular crowd, but like that’s going to happen…
“But Julie, I don’t want to show everyone that. Why should I bother about what they think? I don’t feel like going to some stupid jock party where everyone gets drunk and end up on the floor of some random house.”
“Hey! I’ve been to heaps of these parties and I’m still here today, aren’t I?” I sighed at Julie’s remark and continued to walk in the direction of the lab. “Look, can’t you just come, for me?”
“I’ll think about it,” was all I replied to her.
After numerous attempts of banging the door and ringing the bell, the door opened and revealed a long hallway. Tiffany Shaw answered the door, staring at me and wondering what I was doing on her doorstep Even though she didn’t say anything, her face told it all. I carefully moved past her and followed the direction of the loud and deafening music which leads to an over crowded living room, filled with most of the junior class, half the senior class and special sophomores who were either on the Wolverine football team or dating one of them.
The second I walked into the room, Julie came rushing over to me. As usual, she looked stunning. Her long, river-like blonde hair flowed down to the middle of her back. She was wearing a dark blue mini doll sequin dress, which hugged her in exactly the right places. She always looked this perfect. I looked down at my own pitiful attempt at an outfit; black jeans with a few holes in them from overuse, plain red t-shirt and trusty old black Converse. I sighed at my wardrobe choice; did I really believe that my signature emo look could fool for an outfit that I would wear in front of cheerleaders and quarterbacks – the most judgmental people in the school? I shook my head and finished the conversation with my thoughts – not here, not now.
“Kia, I can’t believe it! You made it!” I swear when Julie yelled out my name, half of the room turned to stare at me. I started to blush a familiar shade of rose and stood awkwardly in the doorway, wishing I could just sink into the floor.
“Jeez, Julie, way to make it obvious…” I stared at the floor. Dark brown wood was holding me up. I bore my eyes into this floor; I guess my burning-holes-in-the-floor-with-my-mind powers weren’t working today…
“Don’t be silly, Kia! Give them a reason to stare! Come on, I’ll introduce you to some people…” Julie grabbed my hand and pulled me through the mob congregated near the DJ that somehow managed to fit despite the amount of teenagers occupying the floor space. As we pushed through groups and couples jumping, I spotted one oh too familiar face, a face I wouldn’t have expected to see somewhere like this. Julie kept on pulling me and I glanced again to see if it was the same person, yes, it was. Aaron. Julie noticed him too, and changed direction over to him.
“Well, hiya Aaron! Didn’t think you’d show up because of last time…” I immediately changed my line of sight and fixed it onto Julie. What was she implying? That Aaron hadn’t stumbled onto Tiffany’s house by accident and that he was actually here on purpose? And he was the one who had the idea of the pact...
“Last time sure was wild, wasn’t it? But it’s not like I had anything better to do.” Aaron shrugged and then suddenly noticed I was standing next to Julie. His face suddenly lightened up and he smiled. “Well, if it isn’t Kia? How are you?” I realized he was talking to me. I mumbled a reply and walked off outside. It was getting too stuffy inside anyway.
I’d been counting around twenty minutes I had been on my own when I gave up waiting and caved into listening to my Ipod, nobody was going to come anyway. I pulled the thing out of my pocket and drowned myself in the comfort of Paramore. With this, memories flooded too, but I pushed them away. I continued to stare at the calm and placid pool that Tiffany’s family owned. I wondered what it would be like if I jumped in…
“Oi, you, come inside,” A senior quarterback known as Connor Riley scoffed at me. Not that I had ever had any experience with him myself, but a girl can learn a lot by eavesdropping in the locker room. I couldn’t be bothered to ask why, so I just stood up and walked back inside. Three quarters of the people were still dancing, but a noticeable amount of people walked over into another room and I followed in suspicion. It seemed like someone had decided to play a game of Spin the Bottle. Hurrah, hurrah I thought. Whose clever idea was this?
I sat down in the circle next to Julie, yet she didn’t question where I had been. Instead, she paused in her animated yet totally fake conversation with Tiffany (I knew personally that Julie hated Tiffany’s guts and the feeling was mutual. Tiffany was jealous of the fact that Julie was more popular than her and that she still did well in school and Julie just didn’t like Tiffany) and turned to give me a wave, then continued on with Tiffany before I could reply. I scanned the rest of the circle and spotted Aaron surrounded by, no surprise, a heap of girls, cheerleaders no doubt. It was always like that, Aaron was really good looking and girls just melted at the sight of him. Course, despite the fact that he could take advantage of this, he never did and was as polite to them as he would to anyone, which puzzled me. Over the years of high school, he’d barely ever had a girlfriend, just loads of girl friends. Not that I had ever cared of course. Guys were idiots, even Aaron knew I thought that, but he still was and is my friend.
He noticed that I was staring at him and gave me a wave. I waved back and stopped staring and him and noticed that the game was about to start, since Tiffany was standing in the middle of the circle blabbering on. I was still listening to my Ipod of course – the music playing was way to techno/hip hop/dance for me - so I didn’t catch what Tiffany was explaining, but I got an idea. Something about Seven Minutes in “Heaven” in her closet by the stairs. The bottle would get spined and one boy and one girl would be chosen and would go into the closet together. Tiffany then went and sat back with Julie after explaining the game and started by spinning the bottle. It landed first on Connor, the guy who called me in before. He stood up and his friends started yelling comments and such, which I chose to ignore. The bottle spins again and lands on a guy named Darren who’s also a senior but was in my AP English class for a semester in sophomore year. He’s quiet and never really speaks that much, eating lunch under a tree by himself, rarely ever having company. But no one ever dares to tease him, he’s scarier than he seems. All the emotion is drained from his face when the bottle lands on him and immediately starts to plead against him and Connor having their seven minutes in “heaven”. People agree with him and they have a re-spin, this time with Connor eagerly agreeing to go into the closet with Tiffany, which was accompanied by grunts from his friends. Tiffany gleefully accepted and passed on the role of host to Julie, and went off into the closet. While the game continued, more and more couples entering and exiting the cupboard, the space next to me seemed to grow bigger, a space between me and them. I ignored it and then suddenly, it was filled. I glanced next to me and saw Aaron staring at me.
“Why Kia, still listening to Paramore, are we?” He teased at me. He knew about my addiction to the band from Tennessee. I listened to it religiously, every single day Hayley would be singing and screaming down my ears, and that’s what kept me sane.
“Of course, still idolising the ever classic Pokemon?” I teased back, noticing the white DS poking out of his front pocket.
“How can I not? They just released a whole new Pokedex of Pokemon and I have to capture them and be the best!” Aaron grinned and I grinned back. Unlike me, Aaron could still be a nerd and everyone would love him. He was just that kind of guy.
“So, Aaron, if I may ask, what brings you here to a party like this “again”?” I said to him hinting to what Julie was talking about when I walked in.
“What better to do on a Saturday night than to dance with a few hundred random people who don’t even know your name, when you have a huge exam block looming over your head?” I wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic or realistic, but that’s always the mystery with Aaron…
Suddenly, Julie was poking at my side, signalling me to stand up. I took my earphones out and took in my surroundings, realizing that the bottle landed on where I was sitting. I rolled my eyes and went off in search of the cupboard. I kicked out the couple that were already in there and enclosed myself in the darkness, waiting for the worst to come.
I waited for a moment and still no one came in. I looked around; making sure it was the right cupboard. There wasn’t much to look at; it was just a small cupboard that could have been used as a wardrobe.
Unexpectedly, the door opened and a beam of light flooded in. I looked up and saw Aaron staring down at me.
“Well, guess the bottle landed on me!” Aaron told me. He walked into the cupboard and the door shut behind him. I knew the procedure well; we had seven minutes of uninterrupted time together and at the seven minute mark someone would open the door once again. To some, this was pure pleasure, but to me, this was torture. At least it was Aaron…
“Yeah…” I took out my Ipod and returned to where I stopped off. Aaron sat down next to me, our backs to the wall and he took an earphone out of my ear without even asking and placed it in his. He didn’t need to; it was tradition.
We didn’t say too much, and I didn’t count the seconds going by. All I knew that approximately two songs and a bit and this would be over. My stomach strangely lurched at the thought, but not in the way I thought.
I breathed in and Aaron’s familiar scent of coconut from his shampoo (I knew it was his shampoo, I once was over at his house many years ago, before high school, and I used it. He hasn’t changed it since) flowed through me, but unlike normal, a bizarre tingle buzzed through me. I decided to ignore it and continue to listen to the silence.
“Look, Kia. I can go along for the rest of these, five or so minutes and pretend everything’s ok, but I just can’t. This silence isn’t usual for us. Remember those days when it was just me and you and we would spend days on end talking about everything and anything? When our parents had to drag us to our separate houses because we wouldn’t go home? What happened that made you ignore me? I mean… for the past couple of years, you’ve skipped stuff. Not hanging out at lunch times, looking in the other direction when I wave at you… it’s like…” Aaron paused and looked to the other wall, “It’s like you don’t want to be seen with me…”
I was speechless. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t even listening to the world around me. I blanked out by own thoughts. The years behind me suddenly moved to the front of my brain and the memories played back, the good times between me and Aaron, before we parted our ways. I remembered the first time we met in the sandpit down the road from both of our houses. He stood on my sand castle and I poured a bucket of dirt on his head. Of course, later on we apologised after we realized how silly we were, but it was the normality for a couple of six year olds. The film strip of memories continued on flicking through the many times we shared together, from spending days on end seeing who could get to the eighth gym leader in Pokemon Fire Red to sneaking out to the park in junior high. Then the bad memories came by. The first few days, even months, of freshman year were pretty ok. Aaron and I could still be friends and nobody really cared. Until people realized how cool Aaron was how I… well wasn’t. Course, nobody voiced this, but their stares and whispers gave me reason enough. I hid away from Aaron, until our friendship was diminished to meaningful glances and thoughts of what could have been. It was the best, if he was going to be popular, he couldn’t have a nerd dragging him down, and he needed friends like him. To believe that he actually cared…
My train of thought stopped and I realized two things. One, I hadn’t said anything for a whole minute he asked the question, and two, my face felt wet. I instantly realized I was crying and Aaron immediately took me in his shoulder, his arm protectively around me. He didn’t say anything, he just held me, rocking me back and forth. After a while, his voice broke the silence once again.
“It’s ok. You’re better than you give yourself credit for. I don’t care what they think. You didn’t have to do that…” was all he whispered into the darkness. He didn’t need to use a full voice, I heard him. His words made me wonder if I was speaking my thoughts out loud. I wouldn’t be surprised if I did, it happens a lot…
Out of the blue, the door swung open and a crowd of people were congregated outside.
“Hurry up and get some action!” One person yelled to us.
“Yeh! Heat it up!” Another called.
Julie instantly ran to the door and shut the door for us and started to lecture the others. She really was nicer to me than I deserved…
Aaron never let go of me the whole time they were looking at us. He wasn’t ashamed to have his arm around me. My heart suddenly fluttered at the thought and I cursed at that. What!?! That isn’t supposed to happen…
“Look,” He whispered into my ear. His breath tingled where it touched and I suddenly aware of the warmth coming from him and how close he was. My heart was beating loudly and felt like it was in my throat. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. You don’t have to prove anything to them. They don’t care about anyone or anything, I should know. I mean, you’re the most interesting, beautiful, different person I know and that’s all that matters…” He kept on stroking me and I just stayed frozen in his arms. I closed my eyes and let my emotions take over. The next time I opened them, the door was open and the space next to me was empty and cold. He was gone.
_________________________________________________________
As I walked out of the cupboard, I was bombarded by looks, whispers about me and general people wanting to know what happened. Everyone saw his arm around me and yet they didn’t see us kissing like every other couple that went in and came out, what was up? I just ignored everyone and walked up to the one person I knew who wouldn’t judge me. She looked at me and screamed.
“KIA, WHAT. ON. EARTH. HAPPENED. IN. THERE.???” Was all she yelled at me. I’m surprised I can still hear.
“It was nothing… I mean… I just…” And that’s when I told her all that happened. I didn’t plan on telling her everything, because I knew she had a crush on Aaron, but the whole time she just listened to me. When I finished, she gave me a hug.
“Well, it’s about time!”
“What do you mean?” I really had no idea what she was talking about.
“I mean, you like the guy. It’s obvious. From the way you just explained it to me, I can just tell and I’m almost positive he likes you back.” My jaw dropped open. She knew I liked Aaron before I did? Is that even possible? Wait… did I just admit that I liked him? I shook my head at my childish thoughts. Aaron is just a friend, Kia. He was being nice to you…
“Nice? Nice is giving you a tissue to blow your nose when you’re crying. What he did was more than nice. He could have pressured you into so much; he could have taken advantage of your state. But he didn’t. He could have walked right out of that cupboard on the seven minutes, but he didn’t. He stayed there with you and comforted you, when he didn’t even have to.” Well, I was definitely thinking out loud again. But wait, what did she say?
“Huh? We went over seven minutes? How long were we in there…?”
“Just about ten minutes. They opened the door on you at seven minutes, but I saw that you weren’t ready, so I just did what you would have done.”
“Why are you so nice to me? I don’t deserve this at all!”
“That’s a different story. Right now, you need to go and find Aaron and tell him your feelings. It’ll only ruin the last bit of your friendship if you have a big secret crush on him. And I can almost guarantee he likes you back. I can feel it…”
“But… I thought… you like him more…”
“No I don’t. I know you Kia, never have you talked about anyone, even a guy none the less, like that. It’s… amazing. Forget about my feelings, plenty of other fish in the sea. But Aaron is here for you, right now. You just need to go and find him.” She wiped the tears from my face, gave me another hug and pushed me away like a rag doll. I didn’t even get to say thank you.
I stared out at the living room, most people finished dancing and couples were scattered around, some on couches, some standing up and some hand in hand leading each other up the staircase. Others were swaying drunkenly and others were laughing, having a good time. I had to get away from all of this, I couldn’t take it.
I walked outside into Tiffany’s large back garden. It was dark and probably around ten o’clock at night but I was only guessing. The moon was full and shed a light onto the garden. The stars were bright and added to the effect. I stepped onto the grass and I could already feel it was wet; it started to soak the frayed ends of my jeans.
I ambled around, searching for Aaron and even though I knew I wouldn’t find him, it was still fun to explore this garden.
I began to shout his name; I had really given up all hope of finding him. Louder and louder, until people came outside to see what the noise was about. When they realized it was just me, they walked back inside. I was just the weird nerd yelling and screaming, nobody really cared.
So I decided to join them and not care either. He really had left, probably scared of being seen with me, despite what he had said. As I was walking back inside, I heard footsteps behind me. I could feel a presence behind me, but it was probably was my sub-conscious willing Aaron to be behind me. I continued walked, until arms came around me and grabbed me at my shoulders. “This time we’re not giving up, let’s make it last forever, screaming hallelujah, we’ll make it last forever” was what the person only needed to whisper and I knew who it was. I turned around and saw his face to prove my theory. I smiled up at him and he smiled down at me.
“You’re here…” It was all I could barely whisper to him. My heart was thumping so loudly and my throat was getting clammy again. I stared, really stared this time unlike any before, into Aaron’s eyes and saw that they were actually a lighter, buttery brown than the chocolate brown people had insisted. Maybe I was just going a bit delusional as well.
“Of course I am. I wasn’t going to leave a party without saying goodbye, now was I? That wouldn’t be very nice…” I cursed (inside my head, I was sure). He wasn’t here for me, he wouldn’t be. He was just being nice and comforting me like any friend would… “I actually have some business to attend to. See, you wouldn’t happen to know this girl…” Of course, he needs my help getting a girl. I was a bit shocked to hear this; he never needed help with a girl before.
“I know many girls…” I interrupted him. “Maybe you should explain what she’s like?”
“Maybe I will then.” He started to continue on. He hadn’t taken his arms away from around my shoulders and I didn’t want him to. “I think you might know her. She goes to our school and she’s in our grade. She’s got long brown hair and dark brown eyes and a face that never shows what she’s thinking. A fair few people diss her about who she is and the clothes she wears, but I think they’re idiots because she’s one of the best girls I’ve ever known.” My heart skipped a beat. Is he talking about me? Wait, of course not. I’m Kia… and he’s Aaron… we’re best friends… we aren’t supposed to cross that boundary… “She is addicted to music more than anything else, listening to her Ipod loud even though she’s quieter than anyone else.” It still could be some transfer student I don’t know about who sounds exactly like me and looks the same as me… “And one of the cutest things about her, is that she always happens to think out loud, rather than keeping her thoughts in her head” As he finished, I froze in his arms. My heart literally stopped and all I could do was gulp.
“It’s… me…” I stuttered.
“It sure is.” He replied. He then cupped my face in his hands, tipped it up so that it was closer to his, and it didn’t matter that basically everyone was watching us or that I was a big nerd, we were just two people in a garden. He then took over the small space between us and kissed me like I was the only girl he would ever need.
