Chapter 10- Nikki’s POV
I felt bad for Slash. I figured someone had told him I was okay, I mean, I called the guys in Crue to let them know I was going to rehab. I suppose at least Tommy would’ve called Slash considering I OD’d in his company, but guess not. Regardless, he knew I was fine now. Sick as fuck and going through the worst withdrawals of my life, but alive.
Just then, the phone rang, and Charli pulled away from Slash to answer it. Izzi looked at her watch and sighed. “I’ve got to get to work.” She looked up at me with an unreadable expression. “Go to group, okay?” She asked as she placed her hand gently on my arm.
I hesitated, but nodded. Izzi smiled slightly and walked off. “Come on, we can go talk on the patio.” I said to Slash, leading him off to the outside sitting area.
He looked at me, concerned. “Sixx. Are you gonna stick to this rehab thing?”
I tightened my jaw and looked away from him. “I really don’t know,” I said softly, looking at him after a while, “I want to, hell, I need to. I can’t go back to that way of life, man. The suicidal thoughts, that damned psychosis… The utter and complete loneliness. I lost Izzi once, and I fell apart without her. I know that if I don’t do a complete 180 from the lifestyle I was living that not only am I not gonna live to see the next Motley album, but I’ll lose her all over again. I can’t do that….”
Slash just stared at me. “I never realized how much you cared for her.”
“I didn’t either until last night when… She was there. Right next to me through all of the puke, sweat, trembling… and I know I smelled horrible…”
Slash laughed a bit, rubbing his chin. “So you’re okay?”
I shook my head. “Not in the least bit. Everything hurts, and I want a fix so bad right now. I truly think that if it wasn’t for Izzi last night, I would’ve just left and gone right back home.”
“How about mentally?”
I sighed. “Not really, but it’ll get better, I’ll get better. I know that much.”
“What about Heroin House?”
“Moved all my stuff into storage and hired a realtor.”
Slash nodded. “So this is it. The end of Nikki Sixx as we know him.”
“No, the end of Sikki. From here on out, I’m Nikki. Hopefully Sikki died the other night and only Nikki was brought back.”
Slash nodded. “So what’re you gonna do about a place to live?”
I bit my lip. “I honestly have no idea, I never really thought about it.”
“Well, I would say you could crash at my place until you get back up on your feet, but I got evicted the other day…”
I chuckled. “Nice one, Slash.”
He laughed a bit. “Yeah, I’ve been crashing with Duff, but I need to get out soon… But, I’m gonna go. Tommy and I are gonna go out for lunch. I’ll tell him you said hey.”
I smiled slightly and hugged him goodbye. I was just staring off into space when a nurse came up to me.
“Nikki? Time for group.”
I nodded, following behind her into a den-like area of the building. A few other residents were there, but I knew I would never speak to them. This is so fucking ridiculous. I barely took down my facades around Slash and Tommy, and they were my best friends! What made these motherfuckers think they could get me to spill my guts to total strangers? I scoffed, sitting slightly back from the group a little ways in an arm chair. I must’ve zoned out for at least thirty minutes before one of the nurses pulled me back into reality.
“Nikki? It’s your turn.”
To what? Tell them about all my issues? What I went through in my coke-induced psychosis? Fuck that. “For what?”
“The first step.”
I rose an eyebrow questioningly. What, did this moron actually think I read through that pamphlet? Ha! Stupid bitch.
She sighed, irritated. “To accept that there is a higher power than yourself. To ask God into your heart and beg for his forgiveness.”
I chuckled. “Lady, I don’t think you realize who you’re talking to. I don’t beg anyone, especially some imaginary guy that for some reason half the population of the world seems to believe that he exists.”
She looked as if I had slapped her in the face. Maybe I should have, might’ve knocked some goddamn sense into her. “Nikki, for you to recover from your addictions, you have to accept that God does exist, and you need to ask for his forgiveness.”
this bitch just wouldn’t let up! “Fuck you, and Fuck God!!!” I screamed, storming into my room, grabbing my stuff and leaving the center, walking angrily down the street.
