Lullablys of Love*Bam Margera* Chapter 2 Close call

A kind of quiet eruption sent joy and anxiety in equal measures through Maddie's veins when she saw who it was. Joy because she loved the person that was standing in front of her, but anxiety because this person played a big roll in her daughters life - or she hoped she would.

'Oh, Maddie it is you!' Ape exclaimed and engulfed her in a big hug.

'Hi Ape,' Maddie said with a light laugh and hugged her back. She smelt just the way Maddie remembered her - a sublte scent of roses infused with a touch of jasmin - and her motherly hugs were still as comforting as ever.

'Why didn't you tell us you were back honey?' Ape asked pulling back, and while her hands stayed on Maddie's upper arms, she studied her from head to toe. 'You look so good!'

'Thank you, and you. I only came back yesterday,' Maddie said honestly and then gave Ape a genuine smile, 'it's so good to see you Ape.'

Ape cood,'And you honey! All we got from you were letters and a phone call once a month - I missed you. Is Emma here? Are you staying for good?' Ape said almost breathless.

Maddie let out a laugh, 'Emma is here and yes, we're staying.'

'Wondeful. Have you seen your mom yet? She is back from her vacation,' Ape said and Maddie shook her head; her mom seemed on a permanent vacation.

'No. Ape, I haven't seen or spoken anyone yet, and I was hoping to surprise them.'

Ape nodded vigorously, 'got it honey, I wont say a word. I can tell you one thing though, it's going to be a big surprise,' she said excitedly.

Oh you have no idea Ape, Maddie thought and bit her bottom lip. 'How is everyone?' Maddie asked and Ape smiled widely but, then as fast it came, it faded and Maddie tilted her head to the side slightly in confusion. 'Everyone is alright, Phil? Bam?'

'Oh yes honey, everyone is fine,' Ape said and cupped Maddies cheeks, 'I have to go but you can come and visit. Phil will be over the moon to see you. We still live in the same house, so drop by when you and Emma have time, please sweetie.'

'I would love that Ape,' Maddie said with a smile but she couldn't help wondering if Ape had left Bam out of the equation deliberatly.

Ape cut off Maddie's thoughts when she pulled her into a hug again, 'alright honey, I have to go. Oh, your mom and I are going for coffee and cake next week at Rubella's to discuss her wedding, why dont come with?'

Maddie and Emma had only found out about their mothers wedding less than a month ago, and they had still yet to meet her finace. 'I'll see,' Maddie said softly. How Ape and her mother were friends, Maddie would never know - they were completely opposite. Maddie loved her mother but she had deep issues that Maddie didn't understand. Ape, in Maddie's eyes, was a saint for putting up with so many naughty, roudy kids over the years, friends that were slightly off the hanger and everything else that Ape had going in her life.

Ape pulled away from Maddie and looked at her, 'your mom is happy now Maddie, I know you went through a lot with her, but try and give her a chance, and come and visit!' Ape gave Maddie a kiss on the cheek and her arm one last squeeze before giving Maddie a warm smile and walking away with her basket in hand.

Maddie let out a pent up sight of relief and closed her eyes for a second. If Emma haden't taken Hope to go look at the paint, Ape would have met Hope in the middle of a cereal aisle and Maddie couldn't stand the thought of that. She had explained to Hope that they were going to West Chester, the place she and her aunt were born and that her grandparents were there, and she would be meeting them - hopefully. Hope was excited at that prospect and asked everyday when she was going to meet her 'grams and gramps.' All Maddie knew was that it could be down this aisle.

'Hey,' Emma said touching Maddies elbow, making her jump slightly. Apparently Hope thought it was funny and she burst out laughing as she stood on her tippie-toes and just manged to throw a coloring book, crayons, a fluffy purple stuffed bunny and a puzzle into the cart. 'Whats wrong?' Emma asked passing the tin of paint from her one hand to the other.

Maddie attempted to calm her racing heart, 'we should go,' was all Maddie said, not wanting to tell Emma that Ape was around somewhere. She knew Emma too well - all she would do was attempt to talk Maddie into going to Ape and throwing Hope into her arms and announcing she had a granddaughter. No, Maddie had her own plan and she was going to stick with it.

'Have we got everthing?' Emma asked and Maddie looked into the cart and did a quick mental list check off.

'We don't have milk but we can stop off somewhere on the way home,' Maddie said starting to push the cart to the checkout.

'I'll go and then meet youat the till,' Emma annouced and Hope grabbed the back of Maddie's pants in an attempt to keep up with her. Maddie stopped the cart and bent down, and picked Hope up giving her a loving smile.

'Sorry baby, mommy wasn't thinking. What have you got there?' Maddie asked looking a bright purple bowl that Hope was clutching in her hands as Maddie held her with one arm and pushed the cart with the other.

'For when we get a kitty or doggie,' Hope stated as she batted her eyelashes at Maddie.

Maddie let out a laugh, 'let's just get settled in baby, okay?' she said and stopped behind a woman and her kid who were almost finished unpacking their cart.

'I can keep it for when we do get a kitty or doggie?' Hope asked hopefully and so sweetly, how could Maddie say no.

'If it makes you happy,' Maddie said brushing some hair off Hope's face. Hope pulled a face and Maddie looked in the direction of Hope's disgust. The little boy, who was about three or four years older than Hope, had his finger burried deep inside his nose and as he pulled it out and put it in his mouth, Hope let out a shrill squeak.

'EEWW,' she then shouted and Maddie smiled bashfully at all the people that were now looking at them, 'he ate his bogger mom!' she shouted. Maddie felt her cheeks turn a lovely shade of scarlet as everyone laughed except the mother in front of her who gave Maddie a nastly look.
Maddie should have been used to this but Hope got her every time.

Maddie leaned her forehead against Hope's and giggled - it was funny no matter how much the woman threw daggers at her -'a little softer okay?'
Hope nodded but wasnt paying much attention. Maddie turned her head so she could start unpacking the cart but her heart almost stopped. Ape, who was walking past, looked directly at them.
Maddie's heart was having a hard day. After almost failing to work, it then fell right down to the soles of her shoes.
Was she busted, royally busted when all she wanted to do was tell everyone at the right time, in the right place at the right moment?

***

Maddie walked back into the lounge after putting Hope into the bath with her soap crayons and a few toys. Hope aways sang in the bath so Maddie and Emma knew she was safe, and tonight they had the pleasure of hearing some cartoon themes.

'Why are you so stressed Mad's? I saw Ape and she was far away, she smiled and waved, so stop worrying,' Emma said as Maddie fell onto the couch and sunk into the seat.

'Ape isn't blind Em, what if sh-' Maddie was saying when Emma sat down next to her and ficked her arm with her fingers. Maddie looked at Emma with a scowl and rubbed her arm to get the stinging away.

'Don't you think she would have come over and asked you what you are doing with a little girl that looks exactly like her son?'

'Well, at least Hope's hair decided to be straight today,' Maddie said trying convince herself that they wouldn't recongnise Hope as Bam's daughter with her hair straight, but her big, safe bubble burst when Emma errupted into laughter, slapping her knee.
'Come on Maddie! She is the splitting image of Bam, curly hair or not. There is no denying it,' Emma said then took off into a dreamy state, 'I wish I had Hope's hair - sometimes it's curly, sometimes straight or wavy...' Maddie couldn't belive it! How could Emma be thinking about hair when she felt like her control was slipping out of her fingers. Maddie inhailed and released a shallow breath, praying that she wouldn't cry - not now, she had stuff to work out.

'So tell me, if Hope look's so much like Bam, and I know she does so you dont have to keep reminding me, but then explain to me what happened. Why didn't Ape come over?'

'I told you, she was far away and Hope was sliding out your arms when she saw me and if anything, Ape only got a glance of you,' Emma said and put her legs over Maddie's as she lay down. 'Look, don't you think it's time Maddie? To see mom? To tell Ape and Phil...at least.'

Maddie let out an audible sigh. She hated to admit it but it was time. 'Alright, I'll go to mom tomorrow morning and to Ape and Phil after that.' There, she had made up her mind. 'coming with?'

Emma snorted out a laugh, 'I dont want to but I guess we should meet mom's fiance. He much have balls of steel to be with mom,' Emma said and pushed herself up onto her elbows as Maddie let out a laugh.

'Well, Ape said she is happy,' Maddie said and Emma clicked her toung. 'She should have always been happy Maddie. I get that she loved dad but we were there too, we hurt then too. Her friends had to tell on numerouse occasions to pull herself together and look after us. When dad died it was like she was punishing us and blaming us and she obvioulsy never got over it because it went on forever,' Emma said and Maddie just shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't so much worried about the past as she was about the future.

'So are you coming?' Maddie asked with a raised brow wanting a definate answer. Emma pulled her legs off Maddie and stood up, 'well, I'm not going let you go by yourself now am I? I'll go phone Mrs Kolinsky. They live next door and I met them when I got the house. Real nice family and her daughter babysits...and it's right next door! How convinient is that,' Emma said as Maddie smiled and got up to go see to Hope.

Maddie could handle her mother and all the venom she expected to get from her and she was anticipating a repremanding but, that was fine. She could handle Ape and Phil if they were dissapointed in her, but Bam? She wasn't sure about him at all. Bam was renowned for his unpradictablity so she knew it could go either way with him, she just wasn't cetain which way it would go. Which of course made it that much harder to tell him. One thing Maddie was postive about, was the fact that if she could give birth, she could handle anything that came her way.