Our parents had gone to the store to get stuff for dinner. I was watching television. Bill had just come from the up stairs, dressed in what he called casual. His hair was down and lightly feathered. It looked that way always right after he had gotten out of the shower and brushed his hair after it dried. His nail polish was slightly chipped, he only let that happen if we werent touring or video shooting or something. His pants hung slighlty below his boxer line as usual, and he wore no shoes. He smiled at me as he went over to jump on the computer,"Hey, Tomi." I smiled a bit. And melted when he smiled. I watched him for moments, searching for the right keys on the keyboard, looking at the screen every so often to look at search results. He took a drink from his pepsi before turning to ask me,"Tomi, where did mutter und vati go?" He hiccuped and covered his mouth with a shocked look, giving a nervouse laugh a moment later. He was so cute. So innocent. "They went to the store." He nodded, seeming satisfied.
He turned back to the computer and continued searching for whatever. I had held this secret for so long, it was killing me. I first realized it at a photoshoot. We were 16, just turned, and they said to make it look like we were kissing. I thought it was gross, so did Bill, but we did it anyway. A year later, the same photographer called, wanting another set of photos like that. I don't know if it's because we were older, but we agreed. It sounded hot, plus, what teen girls didn't like it when two good looking twin brothers made out? We went and they told us how they wanted us to start. They had Bill lay on this bed, his hair(which was still only black at the time) slayed out beautifully. They had me straddle him. They wanted us to look innocent, bill in his white tank top, me in my jeans. It was nothing then, but then it changed from week to week. Eventually he was standing behind me, both of us shirtless, his arms around my wiast. That was the photoshoot that chenged my outlook. I had on this stupid tie. We just held onto one another, but Bill laughed and uttered,"Kinky' grabbing the tie and giving me this look. I looked down at him, and this shock hit me. His eyes were so beautiful. I sat up, him looking shocked. I ripped the tie off and pulled on my shirt, leaving the room.
That was the day I realized I was in love with him. We were now 18. I had to tell him. "Bill..." He turned, his eyes bright,"Ja, Tom?" I took a deep breath and said,"Meet me in the closet." He got this sudden confused look on his face,"Uh, alright." I got up and went into it, waiting. Finally he came in,"Tom, what did you want?" I couldn't hold back. He was so beautiful, so innocent, yet at the same time he was so damn sexy! I launched at him, crashing my lips hard against his. He resisted for a moment, but then let in, kissing me back. I'm sure he was as needy as I was. His hips were in my hands, my lips full of his. I was too urgent. Without thinking, I pressed my left hand against his crotch. He gasped for a moment, but then resumed to press himself into my hand as if he needed more. If ran my tounge across his lower lip, wanting in, and I felt his lips part, and entered. What I wanted to do with him, the things I had waited so long to share with him, I was going to do now. Every part of his thin body would be mine. Orat least thats what I thought. I had moved my hand to the top of his pants, ready to touch him skin to skin when I heard my mother,"Boys! boys, where are you?" Bill looked down, as if embarrassed and lightly pushed me away, exiting the closet. He didn't talk to me at all the rest of the night.
I was pretty sure that I had messed up as I lay in my bed that night, until I heard my bedroom door open and his soft voice,"Tomi? Can I come in?" I nodded and moved over so he could lay on the bed. To my surprise, he started to kiss me. "Tomi, Look, earlier in the closet, when you kissed me, it made me realize that I had been denying my feelings for you. And Tom, when you touched me, well, you know, down there," He stopped. I knew he was blushing. "I didn't want you to stop." I smiled a bit and kissed him. "Then we should continue," I pulled him closer as the two of us shared our first intamate night together. And it was like that every night. Yes, I continued my reputation, because of the band and the media, sleeping with girls, and I could tell Bill would get jealouse when I would hold these women close to me. But still, we continued to touch in ways that only lovers did, continued to share secret kisses in the dark. One night, however, it all ended.
I had been walking home on my own. Bill and I had fought, and not like brothers. Like a couple. So I decided to go for a walk and cool off. We had fought about a girl that I brought home. After she had left, of course. Yes, I felt bad. Bill was supposed to be my supposed 'girl,' and it was perfect. The way he walk, moved, his hand gestures, were all those of a woman. But why had he made a big deal. Anyway, I stopped by the park on the way and heard a low 'help' coem form the bushes. I went over and there was Bill, on the ground, bruised, seaten, and bloody. I fell to his side,"Bill, what happened to you?" He just looked down at his stomach. Someone had stabbed him. ,"God, Bill!" I began to cry and pulled out my cell to call an ambulance. He shook his head,"No, Tomi. Just me and you." "But Bill, they can save you!" I insisted. He just gave me a small smile. "Tom, whoever did this to me will get theirs." "How many were there?" He uttered,"I think about 4." I sighed,"Oh, Bill-" "No Tom, listen, to me your always going to be sacred. I'm dying, but I know our love will live." I shook my head,"No, your not dying! I'll do anything, Bill, no more girls, I swear, We'll leave together, be happy for ever, please Bill!" He just said in a shaky voice,"I love you, Tom.' I leaned foward and kissed him, and it was then that he breathed his last breath into me...
