Holy Crap, I'm Dead! Chapter 2: Her Funeral

Echo didn’t expect this at all. There was no wise old guy with a white beard and weird glasses, in some old study. There was just a new-wave, neat room, where two children, younger than Echo or Dimitri, sat on a couch the color of an overripe plum. They were strange children too. They were probably about eleven years old, but they had faces that made them appear much younger. Their eyes were big, widened as if they were listening to some piece of very significant information. They were identical twins, though upon closer inspection, Echo saw it was one boy and one girl. Their neat, jaw-length hair was cropped perfectly, bleached snow-white. She was a handsome girl, he was a femine, cute kid with naturally black eyelashes that framed his huge, green-hazel eyes. They looked at the four of them for a moment, before parting their soft, baby-doll lips and saying in a eerie-sweet chorus,

“Anarchy-chan!” They did not stand, simply observing Anarchy in a sudden silence.

“Watashi-onee, Dimitri-kun is here as well! And look, there’s others. I wonder who they are, ne.” The boy spoke to his sister, but continued to look at their guests.

“Watashi-onii, do we like them? If we don’t like them, we don’t talk to them.” They pondered this for a moment.

“Onee-chan, if we don’t speak to them, we won’t know if we like them.”

“We’re right, of course. So we should speak to them, ne?”

“Yes.” They stood finally, bowing politely.

“We are Watashi-onee and Watashi-onii. Who are you?” The girl asked, hooding her eyes slightly, as if she had a fever. Echo answered, her voice sounding obnoxious and harsh compared to their lilty, flutelike voices.

“I’m Echo.” Skipp stood silent for a moment, before smiling.

“I’m Skipp. Nice to meet you.” They turned away again to sit back on their couch, in whisper-soft voices.

“So do we like them, Onee-chan?”

“We’re not sure... Stray Dog seemed possible yes, but what about Gray Eye Girl?”

“Hm. Should we talk to them more?”

“We don’t know. Talking is tiring, more for Onee than Onii, but we are us so both are tiring, ne?”

“Mm, yes, Onee is very tired. Tired of them already.” They laughed for some reason then.

“Dr. Mortar, we have a question for you. Will you hear it?” Anarchy asked. They nodded.

“Yes, but we might not answer.” Twin smiles.

“We were wondering what you know about the nano plague.” Twin frowns. They leaned to each other’s ear and whispered, quick and at the same time. They threw a glance at Skipp and Echo.

“Who are they?” The girl asked suspiciously. The boy widened his eyes further, saying earnestly,

“All we know is names. Names aren’t them.” Echo didn’t even try to keep up with their strange phrases, looking at them curiously. They were eerie beautiful and their symmetry was perfect. It was strange to look at them. They sat towards each other, only looking to the four of them occasionally. But they were still different in the way the held themselves, the looks in their eyes. The girl was a darker, more mature, suspicious creature, while he seemed younger in personality, enthralled with everything around him, fascinated with what he himself had to say.

“You can trust them. Echo is one of Dimitri’s friends, and Skipp is...working for me.” Anarchy said softly. They tilted their heads. The girl said, challengingly,

“Can we check to see if they’re good?” Anarchy nodded.

“Go right ahead.” They stood, and the boy grabbed Echo’s left hand. The girl took her right.

“What are...?” Echo started, but was hushed quickly.

“Don’t worry, Ms. Echo. Just let them.” The twins had their eyes shut, concentrating. After about five minutes, they let go.

“She’s okay.”

“Not perfect.”

“Okay, though, ne.” They nodded decisively. Anarchy smiled at the bewildered Echo.

“You passed. Good job.” Echo smiled slightly. They did the same for Skipp, who flinched slightly at their touch.

“He twitched!”

“I know! Like a beaten dog!”

“Uneven hands...scars there. He is a beaten dog!”

“Maybe the scars still hurt, ne?”

“They’re too old.” Skipp looked annoyed, but said nothing. After a long silence, they pulled back.

“He’s very good. Skipp-chan, he is, then.” The girl said.

“Skipp-chan’s good, clever. But also misfortunate all over him and his before. Scars and too skinny proves, yeah?” The boy said, wide eyes searching Skipp’s face. The boy reached up and touched the light shadow under Skipp’s left eye. “Black shard.” He said. Skipp smirked lightly.

“Yeah. You two...what-”

“Not two. Two is far, we’re the same.” The girl said. Skipp nodded.

“Okay.” They paused at his agreeability, then both grinned.

“Skipp-chan, you understand!”

“Or at least accepts!” Skipp smiled back at them, laughing.

“Yeah. Anarchy, sir, what are we to do now?” He asked, growing serious again. Anarchy seemed happy to get back on subject.

“So now that you know you can trust these two, could you answer my question?” They nodded solemnly.

“What we know is a lot. We know where it’s from, too, you know. Also we know how to fix it. Also we know it’s going to get worse, worse, so much!”

“The Fyur is very bad.” The boy said, his little voice hushed with significance. “He’s using this, not fixing.” Anarchy nodded.

“And we also know why this is so important!” The girl said, in a slight sing-song voice.

“Anarchy-chan, you are sick, aren’t you?” Anarchy nodded.

“Yes, I am.”

“How did they...?” Echo started, before giving up on that. They were just weird.

“Can you fix me?” Anarchy asked softly. They sighed.

“Yeah huh we can...”

“...but it won’t be easy!” Dimitri and Echo brightened, but Anarchy looked very grim.

“When can you start?” They grinned.

“Now, Anarchy-chan. If you can withstand it.” Echo didn’t like the sound of that.

_______

Dimitri, Skipp, and Echo were shooed away, told to come back in an hour or two. They obliged with varying levels of enthusiasm.

“God, we can’t just leave him! Can we?” Echo cried, even though she was already outside the building.

“Calm down, Echo, those guys are freaking weird, but they will make sure Anarchy gets cared for.” Dimitri reassured her, sounding happy to be out of the strange room. Skipp sighed, looking bored.

“So what now, Love?” He said, tugging a chunk of Echo’s silt-soft hair playfully. Dimitri bristled.

“Will you stop that? And don’t call her ‘love.’” He growled, slapping Skipp’s hand away.

“Come on, Squirt, chill out. Echo likes the nickname. Don’t you, Love?” He asked sweetly, smirking softly at her. She shrugged, not really caring about Skipp and Dimitri’s weird little arguments.

“Whatever. Come on, I’m bored. Let’s look around the city.” Both boys looked annoyed at her answer. She looked up, big gray eyes taking in the slight dismal-ness of the colorless city. “Come on, Skipp, you live here, what do you do to keep yourself entertained?” Skipp grinned, which seemed kind of creepy Dimitri.

“Good god, please don’t answer that.” He said, taking Echo’s hand and gently pulling her away from the older boy. “Let’s walk downtown and get coffee or something.” The suggestion seemed like a decent one, so they soon found themselves maneuvering around the quick pedestrian traffic. Skipp darted in around the sidewalk easily, weaving his skinny self around obstacles and A.I. like a border collie in an obstacle course. Dimitri however, was not fairing as well, getting bounced around violently between city-goers in a rather bruising fashion. Echo was smart and decided to just trail and mimic Skipp, who involuntarily shielded her from most things. The coffee shop they found was little and cozy, and luckily not too busy. Dimitri threw himself inside the espresso-scented space like he’d been drowning. He swore exquisitely, which Skipp smirked at, walking up to the counter and politely asking Echo what she wanted.

“Mm, um, iced mocha, please.” She said. The A.I. working the coffee shop nodded slightly, eyes glassy yellow and slitted horizontally like a sheep’s. Dimitri frowned, limping slightly as he walked to join Echo at the counter.

“You okay, Dimitri? You look kinda roughed up.” She laughed. “Not a natural city kid, are you?” He scowled.

“I’m fine, Echo. And you aren’t a city kid either.” He ordered a drip coffee sulkily, and Echo found a table in the corner with three seats. Skipp took Echo her drink, setting it gently on the table and slipping into a seat at the table.

“Thanks.” She said, taking a quick swig of her drink, before even looking at it hard. She inhaled half of it, and coughed the rest out back into her cup.

“Holy...! What’s wrong with it?” She gasped. It was black with thick chocolate syrup. Skipp frowned innocently, then laughed.

“Oh right. I forgot. Dimitri’s going to have a problem with his coffee too.” Dimitri sat at the table, still sulking, and took a mouthful of black coffee from the cup. He paled, and ran to the trash can and spat it out.

“@#$%!!!” Dimitri gasped. “Skipp, what the hell is wrong with this coffee?” Dimitri glared at the paper cup, where a sticky looking black liquid rippled.

“The coffee here is different. You get used to it. If I drank some of your coffee, it would be almost tasteless, like water. A.I. make it super strong because they can’t really taste it. Proof.” He grabbed Echo’s cup and downed it, ice clicking in the bottom as the liquid poured out. Echo paled.

“What the... I spat a whole mouthful of that back into my cup! Ew!” He smirked like he was about to say or do something that would get him into trouble. He didn’t disappoint.

“It’s kinda like an indirect kiss, Love.”

“Not at all, you sicko! God, lets go, Echo!” Dimitri snarled. He stood fast, seriously pissed, but Skipp sighed.

“You can’t leave without me, Squirt. Anarchy would rip your head off and serve it to Dr. Mortar raw.” Dimitri was defeated.

“Fine.” Was all he said. Skipp drank the rest of Dimitri’s coffee, and then they were forced to throw themselves back into the sidewalks.

After two and a half full hours, Dimitri was pissed off as possible, Echo was a little worn out, and Skipp was cheerfully finishing off his third cream croissant, which had proved to be a delicious little pastry that hit the bottom of your stomach like a rock thrown from the top of a building. Echo only ate half of one, but Dimitri decided he’d buy four since Skipp took three. He ended up seeing an encore of them into some bushes, along with the very lining of his stomach and bit of overrich coffee he’d not spat out. They entered the building, were hassled by the weirdo A.I. at the desk, then made their way back to the room at the end of the hall.