The Story of a Loser [PATD] 1

Enter Ryan Ross

My footsteps barely made any noise as I stomped across the stage. I was mad. No, mad didn’t even begin to cover it. The backstage crew was everywhere; packing things away and getting things ready. There were tons of people back here, and I was looking for one.

After searching for more than 10 minutes I was about to give up, until I found Jackson. “Hey, Jack, have you seen Robbie anywhere?”

He glanced up at me a bit annoyed. “Yeah, down by the backstage pass area.” He mumbled waving me off. “I have to go now. Gotta find a rapid lion.” He grinned and took off towards the other crew members.

I picked up my pace, ready to give Robbie a verbal beat down for that movie, not even thinking about the whole lion thing. I turned a sharp corner and froze on the spot.

Knowing Robbie like I did, I had prepared myself to find her doing many things. I had insults to throw at her if she was climbing on the ceiling, throwing chairs at fans, or even getting into another fight. But I certainly did not prepare myself for this.

Because, there sitting next to Robbie was William Beckett. And I’ll tell you one thing, he didn’t look uncomfortable or annoyed. In fact he looked happy. And Robbie, as shocking as it seems, she was happy too.

Why does it feel like my stomach dropped through the floor?

“-So then my mom came into the room and she saw me and Michael trying to climb out the window and-“ Robbie continued talking a million words a minute.

And wait a second. She’s talking about her brother and her mother and, and, and.

She never talked to me about those things. Never. So why is she chatting with him about that? What the hell! She trusts William Beckett more than me.

I was frozen on the spot, amazed. And that’s when William noticed me. “Ryan!” He grinned, his glance leaving Robbie’s animated face. “What’s up my man?”

I didn’t answer. I just gave a weak wave. Robbie turned around and her famous smile broke out across her face. And I’ll tell you one thing, I was surprised once again when she jumped off the chair and ran at me.

Is she trying to hit me or something? Was I not supposed to break up her little chit chat with Beckett. But instead of hitting me like I thought she would, she ran up and hugged me. She jumped up and wrapped her tiny arms around me. Her head automatically resting into my neck.

“RYAN!” She laughed. And for a moment I didn’t respond. Saying that I was surprised is an understatement. Wasn’t she supposed to be mad at me? Wasn’t she supposed to hate me? I would hate me. I’ve been a jerk to her these past few weeks. Wait, why have I been acting like a jerk?

Before I could answer my own thoughts she was talking again. “Great show. Me and William were listening. Funny movie eh?” When I looked over Robbie’s head at William he was nodding his head as a confirmation.

And that’s when it hit me. She was only being nice to me because of the movie. I pushed her away from me stiffly. “Yeah, it was sooo funny.” I mumbled mechanically.

She looked at me concerned and worried. But she still didn’t say sorry. It was like admitting anything was her fault was impossible. William jumped up from his seat on the couch. “So, I really want to stay and chat and everything, but I have to help Jack edited a TAI TV episode.” He paused and fished in the pockets of his leather jacket. “Here are the tickets for our show. Unfortunately there’s only 4, I didn’t know about your other friends on tour until Robbie told me.” He looked apologetically at me.

Robbie turned around and smiled. “Hey, it’s fine. I’m sure you’ll do great tomorrow and I’ll get the fairy to tell me all about the show.”

William laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry. You’ll be able to tell me yourself. I got you a ticket. It was supposed to be for my cousin, but he can’t make it.”

Oh I wonder why he wants her there sooo much. Shit. Gotta stop thinking this way. William’s my friend and a super nice guy-

He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Robbie gave him a big hug-

And a real asshole.

“Tell the rest of the guys I say hi!” He waved happily and then started out the door.

Robbie took a few steps back into the room when she noticed I wasn’t following. I leaned against the doorway with my arms crossed, observing her. Her brown hair was oddly cut in a way that only made her seem more unique. Her creamy pale complexion was flawless and her eyes? They were amazing. Sunlight sparkled against them causing the blue flecks to stand out more promptly with the green.

She threw me a curious look; it was like she had no idea why I was mad. I frowned at her, brushing my hair outta my eyes before turning around and walking out on her.

Enter Robbie Rosenberg

Note to self: Kill Ryan Ross.

He left me standing there, just like that. What an egotistical asshole. And here I was, trying to be all nice and everything. I HUGGED HIM! I mean what the fuck? You know what? Screw the whole lion for protection, I’m gunna get it to bite Ryan’s head off.

And then I’ll sell it on eBay.

Can you imagine how much money that would go for? Jesus, I’m pretty sure Tonka would sell her soul for it. That reminds me. I still gotta ask Cass for my pet squirrel. I don’t know if I can repay her with my soul, maybe I can-

“Robbie. Videogames. Now.”

Wow. Brendon’s knowledge of the English language amazes me. I attempted a half hearted grin before following him. “Hey dumbass, how bout talking in sentences once in awhile. Everyone here is smarter than a damn caveman!” I yelled out.

Scratch that. Most people here are smarter than a caveman. Ryan Ross isn’t.

-X-

2 hours later. Rusty went to bed as soon as we got back to the tour bus. She said she was disgusted at me and couldn’t stand to see my face.

I told her now she knew what I felt like everyday.

Ryan didn’t like that. Brendon thought it was pretty fun.

So anyways, these past 2 hours have gone something like this. Play, glare at Ryan, play, glare some more, play, order pizza, play, glare, eat, breathe, and of course, glare a hell of a lot more.

I just don’t understand why he’s mad at me. What the hell did I do wrong this time? It must be the whole movie thing. Wow, he is a freaking drama queen.

Jeesh.

Brendon yawned as I killed him, once again, at Super Smash Brothers. Can you say amateur? “I’m gunna hit the hay.” He quickly glanced at Ryan who was glaring at me. “Don’t kill each other.” He mumbled shortly before stalking off.

Glare.

Glare some more.

Stare at the TV, which is now showing a no signal thing.

Glare.

After a few more entertaining moments of this Ryan groaned darkly and turned off the TV. “Hey!” I protested angrily. “I was watching that!”

At this point, I actually saw a smile make its way onto his face. But it was quickly replaced with a scowl. “You were watching a blue screen?” He growled.

“I’m easily entertained, asshole.” I shot back.

And then I saw his carefully composed face break down. He was seething. “I’m the asshole now! I’m the asshole!” He was yelling now.

He’s gunna wake everyone up. What a dumbass. “Would you use your fucking inside voice!” I hissed. “You’re gunna wake up everyone, and I’m sure Ru-“

“Just stop it!” He was whisper-yelling now. “Why can’t you just lay off her already!?”

Because she has you.

“And you come over here with the nerve to call me an asshole! I’m not the one who humiliated her friends in front of everyone in Texas and has the nerve to think a hug will make it better.!”

Oh, wow. We have a genius on our hands here. I opened my mouth to interrupt him, to say that I didn’t think giving him a hug would make things better, but he shushed me.

“No, I’m not done! You’ve been riding me this whole fucking time. Why can’t you just grow up or something!? You’re being a bitch. God, and then you have the nerve to get it on with William Beckett backstage our concert!?”

I flinched away as if I had been smacked and Ryan’s face immediately went slack.

“I didn’t mean to say that, uh,” He looked at me unsure, like he thought I was going to cry again. Not even close.

I growled incoherently. “Oh so you think I’m being a bitch, do you? Well you don’t exactly get the best-fucking-friend award either, prick. I seem to remember you being kind to me when we first met. ‘Oh Robbie, I understand you. Everything’s gunna be okay! I’ll never hurt you again!’ How fucking rich is that? You beg me to go on tour with you, and then you ignore me. You kiss me, and then-oh don’t look at me like that, you could have declined the dare! Right, so you kiss me and then treat me like the plague. You pick Rusty’s side over mine, a friend who’ll be there for you longer than her. You kick me out of the bus and then you act surprised that I’m pissed. So I’m sorry if I’m not allowed to be ticked off because my best friend rolled over on me!”

Ryan blinked, amazed as he watched me pace the bus, fists clenched. “I’ve been a complete asshole.” He mutters into the ground.

“Yes.” I say simply.

He looked up at me, sadness written all over his expression. “I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know why I keep pushing you away. I, just, Christy coming here surprised me too. And I don’t know. Kissing you was a mistake, I’m sorry.”

My heart ripped again. He thought telling me this would make me feel better? Anger boiled up inside me and feelings I can’t exactly explain were crying to get out. Mother fucking hormones. I quailed the anger though, looking into his eyes always makes everything else go away.

I studied him for a minute. He was pacing too, crossing my path every now and then. But he stopped as soon as he saw me watching him. His tasseled brown hair was messy and his black shirt was loose on his body. He twiddled with his thumbs, waiting for my answer or reaction. When I didn’t do anything for more than 2 minutes he became restless, until finally, he strode forward and wrapped his arms around me.

This time, he picked me up in the air and spun me around. I bit on my lip hard, trying to prevent a smile from crossing my features. Finally, he put me down, but he didn’t let go of me. He still kept me pushed against his body tightly, as if he was afraid I was going to disappear.

Like I would ever want to disappear from him.

I inhaled his scent. He smelled so good. He smelled, so, Ryan-ish. And I loved that.

Far too soon, he pulled away and held me at arms length, his brown eyes sparkling with happiness. I made a weird face at him and his smile faltered. “You smell like Rusty.” To my infinite surprise he laughed.

“Oh yeah? Well you smell like William.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, “It’s not my fault William fell for my long legs, big boobs, and perfect sense of manners.”

Ryan looked away from me, his arms still on my shoulders. “You like him, huh?”

Where did he get that from? God, I wish I could get into his head. “No, were just friends. He’s a pretty awesome guy. But I don’t date. Ever.” My icy tone caught him off guard.

“Why not?” He asked, still holding me.

“I don’t want to be hurt and I don’t want to hurt anyone else. Besides, no one wants to date someone like me.” I mumbled stiffly whilst looking down at the ground. It was true; I never went out with people after what happened with Michael.

He sighed softly before going to sit back down on the couch. He patted the spot next him. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, a look that said, ‘Anything funny happens and I castrate you.’

“Robbie,” He spoke softly again. “You’re beautiful; you just have trouble realizing that.”

I couldn’t help it, I snorted out loud in laughter. God, I ruin too many good moments.

He grinned at me lightly, “That’s my Robbie.” We sat in a comfortable silence for awhile, my head leaning against his shoulder.

“Ryan, I’m-ugh-grr-eck,” I struggled to get the words out.

He looked at me like I was insane, which is okay for him to do.

You have no idea how hard it was for me to get these next words out, and please don’t hate me. I already hate myself for saying it.

“Ryan, I’m sorry, about, ugh, Christy.”

My 14 year old self would kick my ass right now if she could.

I felt Ryan’s arm wrap around my shoulder. “Thanks,” He breathed into my neck. I shivered slightly. He lightly bumped his head with mine. “So, I overheard your conversation with William, and I would really like to know what happened when you tried to sneak out.

I sighed lightly and stood up. He looked at me embarrassed. “Look, I’m sorry, it’s a touchy subject I know-“

I grinned. “Would you just shut up? You starting to sound like a fairy. I’m just getting a pillow.” I picked up a pillow and placed it on his lap. I then lay down on the couch and rested my head on it. I looked up at him and smiled softly, without any trace of sarcasm or hate.

He searched my eyes for a minute, before he grinned and placed his hand on my head. It was rough and callused; even so, it felt amazing slipping through my brown hair.

“Do continue,” He smiled.

I grabbed his hand when it was halfway through my mess of a hairdo. I needed his calmness and strength to get through tales of my childhood. It was still painful. He squeezed my hand in his and began rubbing circles on my skin with his thumb. The effect was immediate, all the bad things I went through, they didn’t really matter, because they brought me to here. And right now, Rusty didn’t seem to exist. Nothing existed except him.

And that’s why, for tonight, it was okay for me to hold onto his hand tightly, because tonight I let myself pretend he was mine.

I opened my mouth, smiling, and began to talk about Michael.

So there's Ch. 21. Thoughts? - xoxomeghan
And thank you SOOOO SOOOO much toxXJust-a-m0mentXx for telling me how to add a banner to my story. I LOVE YOU!
Oh, and any other banners would be appriciated too :]