Scripted- The Life and Lies of a WWE Diva

Tuesday Night in Boise, Idaho. The show has just begun. You're the third event, so that should be enough time to prepare.

You see Melina in the locker room, dressed and ready to go.

"Hey Melina...I wanted to wish you luck in your match tonight."

Melina laughed. "Thanks, but er...I don't need it."

It was a tag team match, You and Kelly Kelly vs Layla and Melina.

"Okay, whatever."

There's a knock at the door and you walk up to answer it.

"Who is it?" asks Melina, flicking back her hair in the mirror.

"Umm...It's umm..."

One person walks in....One familiar face...

"Well?"

He walks in, making himself noticed.

"R...Randy?"

Oh yeah, the bitch is back.

"Hey. Just cleared of my injury...I wanted to see you wrestle on Smackdown, seeing how I haven't been able to."

You're still in shock, and don't answer. Melina struts over to Randy, giving him that Evil Latina smile of hers.

"Hey Randy...Glad you're back. But don't you wanna see ME wrestle instead? That bitch is too scared to dump John for a hottie like you."

Randy looks uneasy. "Erm...No thanks Melina. I don't wanna get...close to Ellen. I wanna just be friends, k?" He turns to you. "Melina, can we have some privacy please? Don't you have somewhere to...to go?"

Melina sighs and storms out. The door slams and Randy turns to fully face you.

"Thanks for getting rid of her...We can just be friends, k dude?"

Randy smiles at you, in the only way you know.

"Sure...But there's something I wanna do first..."

You push him out of the way and scream. "AGGGH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO ATTRACTIVE?!"

Randy calms you down. "You're beautiful, inside and out. John is lucky to have a girl like you...Sorry I wasted your time."

You pull Randy's arm as he tries to walk out. "No. There's something I have to tell you. I...I.......Nah forget it. Go, leave."

Randy smiles at you, and squeezes your butt. You wink at him as he walks out.

"Yep."

*Kane vs Koslov match is over, and you're up next*

Layla's music starts. The crowd seem okay. One sign reads "LAYLA-MARRY ME!"

Layla struts out. "This tag team match is schedueled for one fall! On the way to the ring, from Miami, Florida, Layla!"

She enters in her usual way, the leg split, and waits impatiently for her tag team partner.

"And her tag team partner, from Los Angeles, California, Melina!"

The crowd have mixed reactions. Wolf whistles, boos and cheers. One sign reads "TARINTINO = MELINA AND VICKIE'S LOVECHILD" Another reads "YOU SUCK MELINA!"

Kelly Kelly's music starts and the crowd goes nuts. Kelly comes out, does a little wiggle and runs down, slapping hands and smiling. "And the opponent, from Jacksonville, Florida, KELLY KELLY!"

She hops into the ring, and Melina starts slapping her. The ref pulls her away, and shouts at Melina. Then he checks on Kelly.

Your music starts. "Hysteria" by Muse (I think I said that before anyway). The crowd go insane. One sign reads "I PAID TO SEE ELLEN!" another reads "ELLEN SHOULD DUMP JOHN AND KISS ME INSTEAD!" and your favourite "ELLEN...YOU ROCK!"

"And her tag team partner, from Chicago, Illinois, ELLLLLLEN!"

Mick Foley: Ellen sure is a popular diva...She's awesome.

Cole: Yes, but this feud is really heating up. Basically, Ellen is dating John Cena, but has been flirting with CM Punk. Melina has always had it in for Ellen, and is jealous of her talent and how she is loved by the male superstars. Melina wants to ruin her life, but Ellen refuses to give in.

Mick: Yep, Ellen has it all. Good looks, amazing in ring ability, a beautiful personality...everything.

The match goes on, and you win via DQ.

Vickie Guerrero comes out.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breathes*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In other words, no one likes Vickie.

"Great match girls, but I have a message for Ellen. If you ever get involved in personal issues that can affect the perception of the business, then you will be punished. Keep your sex life private!"

The crowd: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"But I...Sorry Vickie. I'll...Try."

The show ends. You're realy busy with interviews. First is with Joey Styles for wwe.com:

Joey: Hey Ellen. Now, Vickie said on Smackdown last week, 'Keep your sex life private,' and you didn't seem sure of what she meant. You having problems?

Ellen: Now why would I tell you that, Joey? Me and John are cool, but people keep butting in. I gotta go.

You run off, Joey stands there.

"Thanks for watching folks!"

You're on cribs tonight. You've got media interviews. John keeps texting you. You stand there, on a busy street, letting the time pass. You run to the bridge over the river, and scream "WHY?"

"Well we all just wanna be big rockstars, and live in hilltop houses, drivin 15 cars..."

You hear Nickelback's concert in the background. As much as you love them, you can't help but think.

"I DON'T WANNA BE A FREAKIN ROCKSTAR!"

You start going insane. Banging on doors, shouting in windows.

"I WANNA BE RESPECTED!"

Help...that's all you need.

Woah...Like woah.

You slowly walk home...the end to another day in the life of a WWE diva. Fucked up.