The New Akatsuki Member chapter 17!!!

ZOMG ITS REISHI!!! (above)

The New Akatsuki Member chapter 17

Enter Reishi; body collector

Sorry I’ve been so long, my internet has been down and I fractured my skull in a skootering accident (it involved a hill, a pothole, and a car T_T), one day and they let me out of the ER. Lucky me, huh?

“OH MY GOD!!!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!” Auronaku screamed.

“oh, Auronaku. Foolish Auronaku…” the two eyes, a blue one and a red one, said to him, “hmm hmm… Auronaku…you don’t remember me?”

“why? You some chick I-”

“EW NO!!! why would you do that to your sister?!”

“sist-REISHI?! What are you doing here?! The Himalayas! You mounted our parents heads on your wall! Why are you here?”

“a loving sister can’t see her older brother? Hmm?” a cold, frightening voice said as a blast of freezing cold breath hit Auronaku’s face. His door flew open and Itachi ran in.

“Auronaku you ok-OH MY GOD!!!” Kisame walks in.

“what is with you guys-OH MY GOD!!!” Deidara walks in dragging a pillow on the ground rubbing his eye.

“what does a dude have to do to get some beauty sleep around here-OH MY GOD HMM!!!” Hidan walks in.

“STOP FUCKIN YELLIN-SWEET JASHIN!!!” everyone looks at him. “right right sorry, OH MY GOD O_O”

“whoa… who’s the chick…or whatever it is” Itachi walked over.

“dude…she’s like… downright frightening looking!” Hidan yelled.

“Auronakuuuuuu! They’re being so mean!” Reishi whines.

“guys…you shouldn’t be so mean to my sister.” Auronaku tells them.

“HUH?!?!” everyone gasps. A bang was heard from the other room and Pein came sprinting in.

“YOUR SISTER’S HERE?! OH!!!” he asked as he ran over to Reishi…who was still standing on the ceiling in front of Auronaku’s face. “so, you’re this Reishi I have heard so much about, yes?”

“…and you are?” Reishi says with a smile.

“…you have never heard of me?”

“no.”

“never?”

“nope, none…”

“…YOU’RE CRAZY!!! I’M THE LEADER OF AKATSUKI! A-KAT-SU-KI!! ME? THE LEADER?! PEIN! YOU HAVE NOT HEARD OF ME?!?!”

“hmm…….nope! Can’t say I have! ^_^”

“O_o…I cannot believe this-anyway…Reishi, tell me, tell your new uncle Pein-”

“PEIN NO!!!” Auronaku yells and he dives to seal Peins mouth, “if you talk to her about family related things, she’ll kill you without hesitation!” he whispers to him. Pein lets out a small whimper. “and don’t think I’m kidding, I LIVED with her. LIVED!!!”

“so, this is the gang you joined, huh, Auronaku? Looks kinda crappy…” she looks over at Deidara, “this gang just got less crappy” Deidara takes a step back and unzips his bag of clay. Before he can reach in, there was a deafening BOOM and Reishi appeared in front of the blond, explosion-happy man. “oh, you have a cute pony tail.”

“uh…thanks, un. You have a nice…um…can we open a light b-cuz I can’t see a damn thing in here, yeah.”

*click*

“whoa, your hair’s cool, hmm…half of it is black and the other half is white…is that dyed?” Deidara stares at her head in awe.

“nope, it’s natural.” Auronaku says from across the room as he pulls on his usual clothes, a black hoodie with dragons on it and extremely baggy black sweat pants (and yes, that is what I always wear).

“ooh…are we having a slumber party?” Tobi walked in and said.

“no, Tobi you baka, Auronaku’s sister just broke in and scared the livin shit outta us!”

“oh……so we havin a slumber party or what?”

Deidara growled at Tobi, you can tell he’s giving Deidara a smile under his mask that says “yup…I’m such a dumbass!” Yoko walks in all of a sudden.

“WHOA! When I woke up, I was outside like 2 miles away *yawn* everyone leave, me and Naku-kun are goin to sleep un.” she said.

“well, Reishi, it was nice seeing you but it’s time to leave.” Auronaku said.

“I can’t leave.”

“ok, goodby- hubbada wha???” Auronaku was confused.

“rogue ninjas invaded my home, there were too many of them. I grabbed all my things and left and I came here hoping to live with my nee-san again (older brother in Japanese)”

“ok, you can stay for a while…I’ll find you an apartment at the leaf village-”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” Reishi squealed.

“WHAT?!” Auronaku yelled.

“THE LEAF VILLAGE?!?! OMG they have like…the HOTTEST boys there!!! Omg omg omg!!!”

“yes, and girls…but I much prefer sand village girls,” Auronaku started, “leaf girls are usually a bunch o’ bitches but they are still hot… where was I again-oh! You can stay for a while. You can sleep on the couch in the living room. Where are your bags?”

“outside, you can get them in the morning.”

“oh, ok good. Alright guys get out of our room, we’re goin to bed.”

Everyone left and Auronaku flicked off the light and tried to fall asleep…until Yoko came into their bed and tried to cuddle with him, as per usual…he just let himself fall right out of the bed, then she came onto the floor with him, he gave up.

*the next morning*

“(yawn) man, what’s for breakfast?” Auronaku said as he rose out of bed. He walked out into the kitchen to see Tobi eating his cereal…headfirst, milk was getting everywhere.

“dude, Tobi…they have an awesome new invention…it’s called “the SPOON!!!” Auronaku yelled at Tobi as he chucked a spoon at him and walked into the living room. “yo, where’s Kisame, I didn’t see him walk in last night.” Auronaku asked Itachi.

“oh, yeah. He goes out to play Texas hold ‘em with his buds. Usually he walks in in the middle of the night…drunk. But he didn’t show up. Hmm, what do you think?”

“I think “OH MY GOD!!! So now he’s a “card-shark” (^_^) huh?!”” Auronaku gives a funny smile off.

“…(Itachi suddenly starts cracking up) OH MY GOD!!! I never looked at it that way! Card shark, nice.”

“ha ha…yeah, I know I’m awesome… awesomeness comes from me…just…naturally-I lost myself…” Auronaku puts his finger on his chin in a attempt to remember what he was saying. He sits on the couch and jumps when the couch yells “OUCH!!!” when he looks, he remembered Reishi was sleeping there. “jeez! What is your prob, bro?!”

“a-whoops! Sorry Reishi, I forgot you were there. Heh heh.”

“…heeeyyy…” Reishi started, “didn’t you have a blue dude with you too?”

“it was his poker night, now get up we are going to konohagakure today and it takes a long time to get there so get up-” he finally notices her clothes, “GET OUT OF THOSE BLOOD-STAINED CLOTHES!!! HOLY SNOT! Hey Konan? Can Reishi borrow some clean clothes? Hers have blood all over them!”

“sure, honey!” Auronaku hears from Pein and Konan’s room. They hear Pein start yelling,

“for gods sake, he is NOT our son!”

“oh, Pein-kun, don’t be that way-”

“but he isn’t-”

“YES HE IS!!!!!”

“yes, ma’am.” they hear Pein’s voice cower. (bow down before the power of nag! BOW!)

“…aaalllllllllllrrrrrrighty then…” Auronaku says after a long silence only broken by the sound of Tobi face-first in his cereal again and the distant explosion (Deidara). “so…we are going to konohagakure in a while so…just get ready.”

“ok, Naku-nee-san!” Reishi gets up and walks off toward the bathroom. She passes by that blue haired weirdo chick we all love, Yoko!

“HI!!! I’m Yoko yeah!” (apparently in smazzy ninjas story (they let me put Yoko in mine) she starts to copy Deidara so just don’t mind)

“…yo, I’m Reishi, Auronaku’s little sister.”

“cooliness! I’m Kis-kun’s little sis un!”

“who?”

“Kisame-kun! Come on, the blue guy yeah?”

“…nope, nothing.”

“constantly reading pornography magazines hmm???”

“oh him… yeah I saw him last night on my way here.”

“yeah, I’m kinda embarrassed with the fact that my brothers a perv…and blue yeah.”

“that’s not just a prank?! Somebody didn’t pour a bucket of blue dye on him?!”

“is my hair blue hmm?”

“…yes?”

“see where it adds up un?”

(stops to think for a moment) “OMG!!! YOUR MOM SLEPT WITH A SHARK?!?! THAT’S JUST WRONG!!!”

“I really don’t know myself! Un!”

“oh my god!”

“so, your going to konohagakure with Naku-kun today, hmm?”

“yup! It’s gonna be sooooo…cool! He’s gonna get me an apartment and, and…uh…he’s gonna introduce me to the hokage and-”

“no way!!!” Auronaku passed by and heard them talking. “I only go to the hokage to get missions and complain with the fact that she connected a camera to my tv and makes me watch her…watch her…(shudders) and I never find the camera connection route so I can’t get rid of it! Lady hokage’s just WRONG!!! She’s got a thing for me but she’s 40 years TOO old for me!”

“so…she’s a rapist?”

“in a somewhat hot kind of way…”

“somewhat???”

“she’s 50 but she looks 24, it’s kinda cool.”

“then there’s the nut Anko Mitarashi… she’s another one…she’s nuts too.”

“hurry up, Naku-nee-san! I’m already out the door, and you need to pay attention!”

“ZOMG wait up, Reishi!” she already jumped off, “wait, Reishi, REISHI!!!”

*half way there*

“are we there yet?”

“no…”

“are we there yet??”

“no.”

“are we there yet???”

“no, Reishi!”

“oh ok……… how about now, are we there now?”

“no!!”

“………are we there ye-”

“NO!!!”

“killjoy… how bout now??? XD”

“rrrrr… (eye twitches)” Auronaku growls as the two fly through the air, demon wings and angel wings.

“how about now?”

“how about NO!!!”

“hmm……..how-” she is interrupted by Auronaku shoving his ipod in her face, putting the earphones on and turns on some tunes ^_^.

“whatcha listenin to Naku-kun?”

He pauses it.

“annoyed to death” by M. Y. Sister.”

“……..sounds like a good song ^_^!”

“UGH…”

“hey Naku-kun? Any way we can go a bit faster?”

“yes there is, I can fly at twice the speed of sound but I’m afraid I might tear a wormhole through the space-time continuum and end up in some other universe bazillions of light years away. I’m sorry, did you get all that? Reishi?”

“@_@”

“heh, I confused you!”

“who cares, let’s do that wormhole thing!!!”

“ugh…fine, but mark my damn words, if I end up shoveling elephant shit on a moon of Pluto, you’re waking up tomorrow…locked in Tobi’s room after he had sugar!”

“can’t you lock me in the blondie’s room instead???”

“…why?”

“oh, no reason…heh heh.”

“…O_O”

“Auronaku…shut up. Shut up!” he was slowly starting to grin and stare at her. “Naku, shut up shut…up!! SHUT UP!!!! Shut up dammit!!! Why won’t you shut the hell up?!?!”

“I know what you want to do…”

“no you don’t now shut up!”

“you like his hair so much you want his head too…just like mom and pop!”

“no I don’t-wait what?”

“by god yer evil!”

“oh yeah sure…head…blond…so uh……………..are we there yet???”

“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Fine I’ll do the friggin wormhole thing!!! Hold on!”

Reishi grabs an arm and holds on tight as she feels the wind whipping her more and more forcefully. Soon there was no wind at all, she opened her eyes to see space warping, then a bright flash.

When she opened her eyes, her and Auronaku were standing in a little hut. There was a group of weird looking teenagers staring at them. “where are we, Naku-kun???”

“no clue…” the two looked at the teenagers. One was wearing a red kimono and had dog ears, (1 guess XD) one had a huge boomerang, another was wearing a school uniform and the next one was in a purple robe, the last one, a small one, had a bushy tail and fox ears. Auronaku finally breaks the silence. He looks at Reishi triumphantly.

“I TOLD YA SO!!! HA!!!!!” the weird teens don’t stop staring. “oh, right. Sorry! Wrong show!” Auronaku says before waving and walking back through the hole in space. The one with the dog ears looked at the one in the school uniform and said “damn your time’s so called “technicalolagy!”

*leaf village gate*

(pause for readers to stop laughing before they continue, use this time to get a snack or use the bathroom ^_^)

“well, here we are, Reishi.”

“OOOOOHHHHH…are we there yet?”

“T_T yes we’re there, we’re there already!!! Jeez!”

Auronaku knocked on the gate. A little door opened and eyes looked through it.

“halt, who goes there?”

“shut up and let us in, Dave!” Auronaku said to the eyes. The door shut and the gate slowly opened to reveal the inner village. Auronaku and Reishi walked in. Reishi marveled at the many buildings and structures. When she looks back at Auronaku, he was pulling out a big shield.

“what’s with the shield???”

“3...2...1...” Auronaku says before something began to shake the earth below them. A dust cloud was flying right at them. When Reishi looked harder, it turned out to be a group of girls. They surrounded him and flung away the shield and made a dog pile on top of him.

“wow, Naku-kun! you certainly are a son of a pimp! Ha ha!” Reishi giggles. All the girls look at her.

“so, Auronaku is this another one of us?”

“no, she’s my sister.” All the girls begin talking to her. Auronaku forced through the crowd and pulled Reishi out of it.

“girls, girls, GIRLS!!!” they became silent. “my god you need to like…take a chill pill!”

“Naku-kun!!! I want to meet the hokage!”

“Reishi, I already told you, unless I can have a new look, voice, personality, age, even a new scent! I will not go in that office longer than 5 minutes!”

“come on! Don’t make me do the faaaaccceee…”

“the face won’t work on me this time, little girl!” Auronaku looks back at Reishi, she had puppy-dog eyes and the quivering bottom lip. Auronaku bent over to her height, “…no!” he said with a smirk. Reishi started to whimper. The smile on his face quickly vanished into a sorry look. Tears welled up in Reishi’s eyes.

“…uh…” Auronaku said as Reishi looked like she was about to cry, Auronaku started tearing up. He grabs her head and starts petting her, “T_T don’t worry, sis! We’ll go see lady hokage ASAP!!!”

*hokage’s office*

“*lightly blushes* oh, welcome back, Naku-kun… I trust that your sister is well, you know, with you and her killing your clan and everything…”

“wait, me and her kill our clan and you don’t even make an effort to arrest me for it, why’s that???”

“let’s just say I love to see nice boys get naughty at times…”

“O_O I-I think I just threw up in my mouth… a little bit…”

“so…why’d you come here again. Oh I know… you wanted to spend some time with me, didn’t you???”

“*eye twitches* n-n-n-no…I actually c-c-came to introduce you to m-my-”

“don’t tell me… you came to introduce me to your expertise in bed, didn’t you?”

“…………………OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR GOD’S SAKE NO!!!!!!!!!!!”

“sheesh, you can’t talk about that stuff when you’re alone?” Reishi said as she walked in. Tsunade’s blush quickly faded.

“who the short chick?” she said flatly.

“it’s my sister.” Auronaku said. Tsunade’s blush instantly returned.

“oh… hmm. You two look very different from each other even if you are siblings. Oh I almost forgot! Auronaku, your birthday is coming this month!”

“yep, July 28th, I’m gonna be 14, one step closer to actually being legal… not that that has ever stopped me before.”

“yep, my older brother is such a perv ^_^” Reishi says, Auronaku glares at her.

“so Auronaku…what do you want for your birthday…anything…specific???” Tsunade asks him.

“yeah actually I would.” he replies. Reishi twitches a little bit. Tsunade gets up, walks around the desk and puts her hands on Auronaku’s shoulders.

“and what would that be? Hmm?” Tsunade says. She licks her lips.

“that would be…”

“yes? Yes???” Tsunade said as she reached for her shirt.

“…a restraining order XD!!!!!” Auronaku fell to the ground laughing. Reishi yelled.

“OMG BURN!!!”

Tsunade just sat at her desk, completely caught off guard with that. She couldn’t help but laugh a little herself.

“anyway, Reishi is gonna be staying here in the leaf village-”

“no she’s not.”

“and she’s gonna-wait. What?”

“she can’t stay…” Tsunade said.

“why?”

“…unless…you do something for me in return, how about it?” Tsunade stands up again.

“and we go RIGHT back to this already!” Auronaku yelled. “(sigh) fine, I’ll do it… you got a gun?”

“why?”

“cause I gotta shoot myself after.” Tsunade grabs Auronaku and starts dragging him toward to bedroom. As he is dragged on the floor, Auronaku yells to Reishi, “Reishi! While I’m making business deals with Tsunade (shudder) you go find an apartment you like… I can’t guarantee Tsunade won’t take the action out here (shudder again)

“ok! And EW!!!!!” Reishi jumps out the window to look for a good home for her.