Scene 4
(Shadow, Amanda, and Seamore walk into the studio) (The cameraman jumps in front of them wearing his ‘shadow’ disguise)
Cameraman: I am the Shadow and I have come to kill you!
Amanda: (Screams like little girl and hides behind Shadow) Save me The…
Seamore: (Spots cameraman’s camera) You kill people with a camera? How lame is that…
Shadow: At least I use a gun or a knife!
Amanda: Yeah- wait wha?
Cameraman: Well, that doesn’t matter cause I have come to kill you because I am the shadow! (Awkward pause) (Gets pissed) Damn it! Why doesn’t the music ever happen! I want creepy music too you know!
Sound guy: (walks up) I’m a Shadow fan. You just don’t cut it.
Shadow: (mocking laughter) Loser…
Cameraman: (throws a fit and kills sound guy) (Evil laugh) Say what you want, but I AM the Shadow!
Sound guy: Why am I the next victim?
Shadow: (Hands in pocket) We are short on people, don’t worry. We will pay you.
Sound guy: Oh okay, (Dies)
Shadow: Not…
Amanda: Hey, that guy owed my twenty bucks! (glares at cameraman) Get him The!
Shadow: I don’t feel like it. (Hands still in pocket) (Realizes something) Wait! Are you the guy that has been framing me?!
Cameraman: (Flabbergasted) No…really!?
Shadow: Don’t make fun of me! I didn’t have to think much before cause I had the brainless moron Fred Ultra after me. So, my brain is not used to this.
Cameraman: Excuses, excuses! Prepare to die!
Seamore: Lame!
Cameraman: What!?
Seamore: How do you prepare to die?
Amanda: Make a funeral? Or dig a hole.
Seamore: See what I mean, at least come up with a better war cry. Like…(thinks) NICE PANTS!
Amanda: Or my hover craft is full of eels!
(Everyone gives Amanda weird look and Shadow backs away)
Amanda: What? I’m a monty python lover…
Shadow: Oh my god! Me too!
Amanda: That’s awesome!
Cameraman: (Clears throat) Hello! I’m about to kill you!
Shadow: You are?
Amanda: In that outfit! (waves him off)
Cameraman: Why won’t you take me seriously!
Constipated: (Walks up behind him and puts hand on his shoulder) Because you fail at life. (Suddenly happy) Now to take you down town!
Seamore: There is a downtown?
Constipated: There is now! (Pushes him out door)
Cameraman: How did you get here!? Where did you come from!
Constipated: (Proudly) My parents! I’m not going to into detail.
Cameraman: No, this can’t be happening!
Constipated: Oh but it is! (Pushes towards car)
Shadow: Before my wonderful minion takes you away, (Constipated beams) I just have one question.
Cameraman: What? (serious)
Shadow: Do you know how to get to the candy shop from here? I always get lost.
Amanda: I can take you The!
Shadow: Really!? Yay, I’ll drive!
Cameraman: Don’t you want to know why I did it?!
Shadow: No not really…(Scratching back of head)
Constipated: We do need a confession…
Shadow: Fine, but make it quick! I have sugary goodness waiting for me.
Cameraman: (Big long speech) It all started when I was a kid. I would have to blame my mother, because she never treated me well as a child. I mean-
Constipated: No one wants to hear your pathetic life story, make it shorter!
Cameraman: Fine! (On brink of tears) I did it because you made a mockery of my cousin!
Shadow: So?
Cameraman: You made his life horrible! He walks around in daze, talking about you in his sleep, thinking about you constantly. He even went on a stupid quest to find you!
Shadow: Stalker!
Constipated: Who exactly is your cousin?
Cameraman: It’s Fred Ultra! You ruined his life!
Shadow: What!? I ruined Fred’s life! What about me! Ever since that brainless moron went into ‘retirement’ I have had to find a new source of income! I had to move into an even crappier base! It’s not a fire pit anymore, nah uh, it’s just a hole! Next to that, I had to take a job at this stupid studio, working with idiots! (Points to announcers, who beam) So don’t start blaming me, because we all know I’m the one that suffering!
Constipated: (points to self)
Shadow: Oh and Constipated is suffering too.
Constipated: Damn straight! I got demoted from janitor to cop 1, 2, and 3! You don’t even get free donuts!
Shadow: le gasp! That’s horrible!
Constipated: I know!
Shadow: So cry my a river, build a bridge and get over it! And get a new outfit while you are at it. It’s just insulting to be seen with you.
Constipated: (Throws Cameraman into car) Did you say something about a candy shop?
