The Last Snow [A GazettE story]

PART 13: Mitsuko, Mr. Speculum And Shima

Never had Mitsuko really thought that she would become a translator. She had always wanted to become something huge. A politican perhaps. She wanted to make a change. Not small changes, but huge changes.

She couldn’t do anything about it. It was just how she was raised. Having two lawyers as parents had lead her to stay on the right side of the law. They couldn’t have been more proud of their little daughter.

But since both of them were lawyers, they would stay out until late at night. That lead to her being mostly by herself. Of course the first 7 years of her life her parents had always hired someone to take care of her. But there can never be someone who can take care of a child as a parent can, so Mitsuko found herself crying herself to sleep many silent nights. There wouldn’t be anyone to stroke her hair and say it would be ok. There wouldn’t be anyone hugging her as she would finally let go of the overly wet pillow. There wouldn’t be anyone there to comfort her.

The loneliness wasn’t bugging her at the age of 10, and the immuness had some consequences. Of course it was great that she didn’t need someone to entertain her or anyone to just talk to her. But gaining friends became harder and harder for every day. On top of the numbness, she was also shy and got easily embarrassed. That lead her to avoid other children. Mr. Speculum and her stuffed bunny became her only friends.

On top of the loneliness the girl was burdened with daily teasing by the other children.

Mr. Speculum taught her how to smile in the darkest hours when the emptiness seemed to be too strong to bear. When she needed an embrace, she would embrace her stuffed bunny so tightly that if it was alive it would have choked. Mr. Speculum would be there if she needed to talk.

Mr. Speculum would say that to her. He would say it everytime her parents would call and say that they couldn’t come home before long after her bedtime. He would say it when the children went to far in calling her names. He would say it when the darkness seemed too much.

But one day everything changed.

The sun glared through the thin curtains. Mitsuko had asked her mother if she could get some new ones, but already 4 months had passed since that time and she began to wonder if she herself had to go buy some. Or perhaps she could just sew some to herself. Yes, she had learned to sew a long time ago because her mother never had the time to fix her clothes when she had fell and there would be one remaining hole.

But the fact that the curtains were basically see-through wasn’t important at the moment. Instead she rose from her very comfortable bed and got dressed for the new day. One simple pink t-shirt with simple black pants. She grabbed her little stuffed bunny and left her overly light room.

This unwritten routine happened every morning. She would quickly use the bathroom to comb her hair and brush her teeth before entering the kitchen, making breakfast to her dear mother and father. Just some easy stuff, like warm up the rest of yesterday’s dinner she had done for herself. She always made too much.

Soon she heard them rush into the bathroom. Two plates where placed on the table with the leftovers in the middle. Soon her father and her mother came and sat down and thanked her for the thousandth time for the lovely breakfast she made every morning to them. She remained silent as always and went back to the kitchen counter to make herself lunch for the day. “I’m sorry, honey, but I will be late today,” her father excused as always. She knew it was coming, just like every other mornings. Now she only waited for her mother to speak up. “But I will be home early today. Maybe we could go shopping? Oh, I know! Now we can finally buy those curtains you asked for! And maybe you need new clothes,” her mother said. At first Mitsuko couldn’t believe her ears. Her mother, HER mother, had time to go shopping with her AND she remembered that she had asked for curtains? “Are you serious?” she had to ask. She could imagine herself looking totally surprised and one might say confused. “Yes, of course I am,” her mother said as she took her last bite. Her father had already finished eating and was now by the sink with his plate. “Have a nice day, honey,” her father said before he left the kitchen to only her and her mother. “So, what do you say? Shopping today?” her mother asked oh-so-sweetly. She could only stare at her. It must have been at least a year since the last time they had spent some time together. It made her heart a bit jumpy, but she didn’t care at the moment. She felt more like jumping through the roof. “Ok!”

“You know, you don’t have to go shopping today. You could just say you don’t feel like it,” Mr. Speculum spoke to her during lunch at school. The imaginary boy took off his very elegant hat before he sat down next to her on the bench. They were currently in the only bench that was in the shade. The other kids were far away from their reach so it didn’t matter if it seemed like she was talking to the air. Not that she would care. She wouldn’t ignore Mr. Speculum even if she seemed like a lunatic. She really liked Mr. Speculum.

“Are you crazy? I want to spend time with mama. I haven’t done that in ages,” she said to the boy. The boy had an expression of sadness, but she didn’t see it. She was smiling towards the blue sky. Though even if she had seen the sad pair of eyes, she would be just confused. Wasn’t it a good thing that mama finally had time?

“But you know, it won’t happen tomorrow, or the day after, or next week, or the week after,” Mr. Speculum said, turning his gaze towards the ground. He didn’t want her to see the threatening tears that were gathering in his eyes. But as she turned her gaze back to the boy she began to worry. “Is there something wrong, Mr. Speculum?” she asked. The spoken of just shook his head and placed his hat back on. The longish black hair was covering his eyes and he couldn’t see much, but he didn’t care. As long as she didn’t see the watery eyes, he didn’t care. “No, it’s nothing,” he replied after a while, trying so hard to not let the tears fall. “Sure looks like something. Are you crying?” she asked with even more worry written on her face. Of course she was worried. Mr. Speculum was her only friend, besides her stuffed bunny she carried everywhere. Let’s just say he was the only friend who replied when she spoke.

“No, I’m not. I swear, I’m fine. But you won’t be fine if you’ll be late for class. You should get going,” he said before sending her a smile. She could immediately tell it was a fake one, but if Mr. Speculum didn’t want to say what troubled him, it was ok. She was used to him keeping things to himself. It was just how he was. So instead of bugging him to death about what was troubling him, she gave a quick wave and grabbed her bag before leaving the bench for class.

Mitsuko practically ran out of the classroom. At the moment she didn’t care about all the disgusted eyes that were turned towards her. She didn’t care about the names they called at her. All she cared about was getting home. Well, that was not true. She was also worried about Mr. Speculum. She wondered what could be wrong with him. He had been acting strange all day. She had tried her best to just shake it off, but it didn’t work. It wasn’t her nature to just leave it be, but for Mr. Speculum, she tried her best.

As always she met up with Mr. Speculum at the schoolgates. He was still smiling and she could still tell it was a fake one, but she didn’t dare saying that out loud. “How was class?” he asked casually, but once again she could catch the faint sad tone in his voice, but once again she didn’t say anything. Instead she just smiled and gripped her bunny tighter and started walking. “It was boring as always,” she replied as he followed her. Taking ghostly light step he soon caught up with her. She always wondered how he could just do that. She was a pretty fast walker and even faster at running. Most of the kids couldn’t catch her when she was running from them. Though, it was thanks to them she could run as fast as she could. There were after all some bright sides of being mocked too.

The walk was silent. None of them spoke anymore. Mitsuko didn’t mind. She was used to Mr. Speculum being silent. Even though she usually shared her worries with Mr. Speculum, he wasn’t the kind of a person to share his worries with her. He liked keeping things to himself and Mitsuko respected that.

Though, as she was about to enter her home, she felt his hand on her shoulder. Confused she turned to face him. But before she could reach to see his expression, she was pulled into a hug. The boy held her tightly, not answering to the not-yet asked question. The only thing she could do at the moment was to hug him back. The tears were streaming down his pale face, but they never reached the girl’s shoulder, or the ground for that matter. They just disappeared. That made him cry even more. Mitsuko didn’t understand why he so suddenly had started to sulk against her shoulder, but instead of asking anything she remained silent. She slowly stroke his back as he continued to cry on her shoulder. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” she finally said. It made him choke back another sulk before he pulled away from her. He dried off his tears with his sleeve and sniffled a bit. She just gave him a comforting smile, but it seemed that the smile had failed. He kept drying his eyes with his sleeves. Finally he removed his hands from his face and looked into her eyes. At that moment she felt like she was dying inside. Without waiting for other words from the girl, he bowed deeply, taking off his elegant hat before he rose and walked down the stairs. For a moment she just stared as he walked away, but as his top-hat was gone, she turned to the stairs, trying to catch him.

Thousand nights of wet pillows followed. This time she was hurt. Badly. She wasn’t sure if she could be fixed. No, she was sure she couldn’t be fixed. She was so sure about it that she would even stop at some random park instead of walking to school. It wasn’t until her parents had got a call from school that she hadn’t showed up in class, before she got the attention she had longed from her parents in such a long time. Even though they were scolding her, telling her that they were very disappointed, she was happy. She knew they were scolding her because they cared. She knew what she had done or rather what she had not done was wrong, but at least now she knew they cared.

After the yellings they started questioning her. One question repeated itself that night over and over again. “Why?” She hadn’t answered them. She couldn’t bear the thought of having counciling sessions without her precious friend. Since her parents never got an answer, they called the school. The teachers said she was often seen alone and that it was no secret that she was being mocked. This had been a total shock for her parents. Her mother had fell on her shoulder and cried her eyes out while her father just looked at her with sad as as he shook his head.

They had moved her to another school. This was her first day. As she stood by the schoolgates she clung tightly around her bunny. She wished more than ever that Mr. Speculum could just return. Though, she knew that those were just wishes. It would never happen.

So with a sigh she entered the gates. Already she could feel the strange and curious looks that people were sending her. She tried to ignore them as best as she could as she walked inside the building. The students seemed to be everywhere. They were talking and laughing, having a good time with their friends. She slowly walked around the building, trying to find the teachers’ room. In the end she felt like screaming in panic. She was lost...

“Do you need help?” she could hear someone say. Thinking it was ment for someone else to hear, she continued her search. Then suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. It made her turn around. Her gaze was met by the sight of a boy standing in front of her. He had half-long black hair and a nice smile plastered on his face. She didn’t reach to register anything else before he spoke again: “Do you need help? You seem a bit lost.” At first she was shocked. This stranger had offered to help her. Who was this guy? She didn’t even know him.

“You new here?” he continued as she didn’t reply. This time she nodded her head weakly. She clung to her bunny as if she was a 10-year-old. She was ridiculous and she knew it. What did a 14-year-old teenager need her bunny for anyway?

But this boy didn’t seemed bothered by it. Instead he flashed anothe sweet smile. “And you’re looking for the teacher’s room, right?” It really wasn’t a question. She nodded again. Then he gave a small laugh. “You’re very lost then. It’s on the other side of the building,” he said. Her face turned red and her gaze fell on the floor. The boy feeling a bit guilty placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll show you, ok?” he said, trying to capture her eyes. She lifted her gaze a bit. “I don’t even know you,” she said, a bit insecure. “Oh, where are my manners?” the boy laughed and stepped back. “My name is Takashima Kouyou, but just call me Shima, ok?” he said as he bowed to her and sent another one of his lovely smiles. She wasn’t far behind introducing herself, though less confident than him. “Just call me Mitsuko,” she said. “Nice to meet you, Mitsuko,” he said.

They became very close friends. She would once again smile and laugh. Her circle of friends also expanded a lot. She found out she had at least 40 people to give Christmas presents to and that made her so happy. Though Shima could never understand why in the world she was so freaking happy over spending lots of money on things she would never use. She would always laugh at him and say that because of that, she knew she wasn’t alone. Shopping for others became more fun for him too.

Even though she was seperated from Shima when she decided to go to college in the USA, they never lost contact. They would often send e-mails to each others, telling what was going on. Shima would tell her how amazing he was on the guitar and all the gigs he played with his band and she would tell him how hard the assignment was.

But eventually the e-mails became fewer and fewer until they didn’t do anything to keep in touch. Not that it really mattered. Mitsuko had many friends in America now. She was happy. The only ones she kept in touch with from Japan was her family. Even though they didn’t keep in touch anymore, she still thought of him. She would always be thankful to him. He was the one who got her out of hiding. He was the one who opened her up. He was also the only one who knew about Mr. Speculum. She had once told about him to Shima. He had taken it pretty well. He had just looked at her strangely before smiling, saying it was ok.

Although again something happened. It changed her life...

“What are you doing, Mitsuko?” Uruha asked as he sat down next to the woman at the park. “Neeh... I just thought about how we met. It was actually quite funny,” she gave a small laugh. “Yes, it was! You were like totally scared, holding your bunny so tightly,” Uruha laughed with her. “Mr. Bunny was my only friend!” she excused herself. “Yeah, yeah, I know that. It’s a bit sad what happened to it in the end,” he sighed. “Yeah. You’re stupid friends flushed it.” She tried to hold back her anger. “But I did flush their heads again!” Uruha waved his hand in the air as he laughed. She couldn’t help but smile as she saw him laughing. Suddenly a thought fell to her. “Hey, did I ever thank you for asking me to be your translator? Or even thank you for being my friend?” she asked. He looked at her, aware of the sudden change of mood. “No?” he said a bit insecure. “Well... Thank you,” she said. Silence filled the air. None of them said anything. Ururha just looked strangely at the girl. Suddenly she turned her gaze away from the ducks and caught him in an embrace. It took a moment for him to respond to the hug, but in the end he wrapped his arms around her. “You’re welcome.” He smiled. He knew she was smiling too, and that made him the happiest man on earth.

Speculum is Latin and it means mirror... Unless the dictionary lies to me.
What is that teacher's area called? I just translated it directly from Norwegian...