Act1
Scene 1:
Seamore: this is channel Q news bringing live and new news to you now, at this moment, in this studio. We have breaking news! The Shadow Dundundun had come out of hiding after three whole days!
Amanda: and we have live video of The out in the field trying to interview The Shadow!
Seamore: what’s going on out there the?
Shadow: well, I am in a field, trying to find me. It’s got some plantage to it and I can see some trees and a road
Seamore: Are you worried about ticks ant/or other insects that can attack you at any moment and kill you while sucking out your blood?
Shadow: *shocked face*
Amanda: DUDE! I think I see one on your shoulder!
Shadow: EW!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! *runs around in circles*
Seamore: don’t do that, you know how he is. He’s scared to death of bugs! Especially the big ones that can suck his blood! *smack AH upside the head*
Amanda: ouch!
Amanda: today we have a special documentary about the Shadow Dundundun *goes to documentary*
Seamore: The Shadow Dundundun, the most feared man. The most dangerous guy around
Shadow: *stuffing face*
Seamore: killing people
Shadow: *hugging kitty*
Seamore: an extremely scary person
Shadow: *giving candy to people*
Seamore: he wasn’t always like this though
Shadow: *pants up to boobs w/ belt, running around in circles*
Seamore: he had a calm and peaceful childhood up until that one day
Shadow: *same outfit but w/ cape*
Seamore: when he met that one special person
(Shadow looking into window of expensive restaurant)
Constipated: (goes up to greeter) reservation for Constipated.
Shadow: (looks at Constipated) Your name is Constipated?
Constipated: yeah, you got a problem with that?
Shadow: no, I THINK IT’S AWESOME!!
Constipated: really?
Shadow: yeah, my name is ‘The Shadow Dundundun’
Constipated: Awesome! I always wanted a name like that! I got stuck with Constipated.
Shadow: it isn’t that bad, at least your not Seamore Butts. I have her in my history class. She always asks me out. I’M NOT A GUY!!
Constipated: You go to Kilroy High? I used to go there, but then I moved!! You wanna go eat with me?
Shadow: hell yeah! Food!!
Greeter: right this way sirs.
Shadow and Constipated: WERE NOT GUYS!!!
Greeter: geeze, sorry, this is my first day! (runs off crying)
Shadow: hey, we did that pretty well!
Constipated: I know, we should team up or something1
Waiter: you table is this way Constipated.
Constipated: can The sit with me?
Shadow: (puppy dog eyes)
Waiter: Awwwwww, ok, as long as you pay.
Constipated: *cough* Jackass *cough*
Shadow: oh good god! It’s Seamore!
Constipated: (sits down with shadow when Seamore comes)
Seamore: hey The, didn’t expect to see you here (bats eyelashes)
Shadow: how many times do I have to tell you that you are creeping me out?! (hides under table)
Seamore: hey, your new! My name is Seamore Butts! (starts to flirt with Constipated)
Amanda: (shakes his head s he walks up to Seamore)
Constipated: EWWWWWW!!!! CREEPY! GET IT AWAY!! GET IT AWAY! (also hides under table and pushes Shadow out)
Shadow: oh, hey Amanda.
Amanda: Hey The. (turns to Seamore) we need to leave. I need to do paper work at the station.
Seamore: bye The, Bye friend of The.
(Shadow’s mom comes in)
Shadow: crap! (pushes Constipated out from under table and hides)
Constipated: HEY!
Shadow: (sees penny) oooo, shiney. (crawls out and random guy trips over her and gets killed by spoons)
Amanda: (hears commotion and comes over) Who did this?
Person: I think it was some person named The Shadow. (creepy music)
Amanda: I have to get back to the studio!
Scientist: (walks in) now I need to test this attitude switcher thingy! (puts it on Amanda and Seamore and turns it on)
Amanda: Hey, look, doughnuts!!!
Seamore: We have to get to the studio!
Amanda: Do we have to?
Seamore: YES!!
Amanda: fine! Be that way! I’m telling your mom your being mean to me!
Seamore: oh good god!
Scientist: it works! (throws arms into air and drops machine, machine breaks)
(now with Shadow and Constipated)
Constipated: hey, what do you want to be when you graduate?
Shadow: I think that I want to be a mass murderer.
Constipated: me too!
Shadow: we can team up and go kill people!!
Constipated: so what are you going to be called?
Shadow: I think I’ll use my first and middle names, The Shadow. (creepy music)
Constipated: hey cool you even get creepy music! The Shadow! (creepy music) The
Shadow (creepy music) The Shadow (creepy music)
Shadow: ok, I think that’s enough of that. Ah what the hell? The Shadow! (chicken dance) I think that was the wrong music. (creepy music) that’s better.
***
Amanda: it looks like fate
Seamore: I’m doing the commentary! Not you!
Amanda: *mockng*
Seamore: *hits Amanda* now, he has never been the same
Shadow: *video of Shadow flapping cape like flying*
Seamore: oh yeah… and that Constipated person…
Constipated.: what?! That’s all I g-
Seamore: man, he had a horrible childhood…
Amanda: kinda like mine, I got beaten a lot. Man, them sock em’ boppers suck!
Seamore: you had an older brother that beat you?
Amanda: no, younger sister. She was like 1 and a terror!
Camera man: uh, guys? We’re still on the air…
Seamore: crap! Uh… now weather with Allen.. uhh.. what is his last name…?
Amanda: I don’t know…I don’t think he even has one…
Seamore: hmm… then we shall call him Bugaboo
Alien: *turkey noise weather*
Amanda: and that is the news. We will be here tomorrow at 8:00
Seamore: but it is 8 and we are finished…
Amanda: what? How come I wasn-
