READ MEMO PLEASE x
RECAP:
He walked up the stairs till your faces were level, you leaned in and brushed your lips against his. ‘Tomorrow.’ You smirked and turned and walked to the top of the stairs.
‘Not nice Miss Warren.’ You shrugged innocently. ‘So if I can find you tomorrow I can have one?’
‘Mhmm.’ you agreed.
‘No teasing?’
‘No teasing.’
‘See you tomorrow then.’
‘see you tomorrow.’
THE NEXT PART:
This is it.
Three days and he’ll be gone.
All, Over, again.
I shouldn’t have let myself get so attached.
I couldn’t help it though.
I don’t want to let go again. For the final time. It got what it wanted, I fell back in love and now it can tear me apart. I can’t even look away. I can’t run.
Three days…
You had woken up and it was now three days until the final task. The final task where you would have to wait and watch his body come out, listen to the shrieks and screams, feel your breath leave you. Last time you ran, this time you won’t. You think. Not like it’s an easy thing to plan.
You had fallen right into the trap, let the dark magic take over you and make it feel what it wanted, any controversial thoughts you had you had not put up a fight to keep, and it was all too easy to see Cedric and think, I will deal with this later. Well now you were going to, there was no way to stop it anymore. Not that there had been before.
The feeling of knowing you only had three days left with him made a large lump rise into your throat making it hard to breathe. The three days that you gave in completely. You put all feelings aside and gave in, not just to him, but to yourself too.
Before Cedric you had been just as closed about guys and relationships as you were now. Fred was your mild attempt at letting a guy back into your life but look where that had led, pain and suffering on both sides. All through the summer you blamed yourself for your own pain, you had let him get in, and one someone gets into a relationship with you, people get hurt in one way or another.
Obviously you were not stupid enough to blame yourself for Cedric’s death, that had been murder. You just blamed yourself that you had given in, ignoring any thoughts that said otherwise for the first week or two of the summer. Then you had joined Ron and Hermione and Grimmald Place, and you had to hide the pain for the pillow.
You had decided fairly swiftly into your morning that you would not tell anyone of your relationship with Cedric, that is what the two of you were going to do together, and so you would rather it kept that meaning and not change anything about it or him by telling anyone.
Sure the pain had still been there, but the secret helped you to keep it sacred, and the ring that he had given you on his last night still sat on your finger, along with Draco’s and, after some swapping with Fred’s, your mothers ring had now taken its rightful place once more. The ring had held all the secrets, all the memories, all the pain and hidden it inside so that it was still there, but at a safe distance from the girl that never showed emotion.
The girl who is like no other. Mostly because you were incredibly laid back and could have no reaction and just a glazed over expression for weeks on end if needed.
And so while sitting in the common room at 9am on the morning of that third day, you decided just to ride it through, at the end, you would cry your heart out for a day somewhere, then, depending on what had happened after, you would work your way onwards with whatever this hell through at you after.
A gut feeling was telling you it wasn’t going to take you to a chocolate factory. Unless it wanted you to feel yourself drowning in the chocolate before some other horrific scene that you didn’t want to think about. The pain you had felt from the cruciatus curse had been more than enough, the bruises from that still existed even after the time that it had been, and you had a feeling that it had been around three months. God knows how much longer you were going to be stuck here, no need for food, no need for water, no way to die, just pain, discomfort, and aggravation.
It was simply because you were so helpless that caused all the aggravation. You couldn’t even think about doing anything else until the memories were over. There was no point in running as it just didn’t lead anywhere.
To be honest there was just no point in getting up.
But then again there was no point just sitting, and Cedric spent most the last three days with you and so you would be forced there again, to be torn between falling back into the trap and resisting with all your might.
‘Hannah?’ a high pitched voice asked as you held your gaze with the entrancing flames of the fire.
‘Yes?’ You replied without looking at a small blonde second year who was dithering from one foot to the other and playing with their hands.
‘Cedric Diggory is outside the door, he says he needs to talk to you.’
‘Can you ask him why?’
‘No, he said I have to hex you if you don’t come, but I don’t think I will.’ She replied, mumbling the last bit to herself.
‘Alright I’ll go. What’s your name?’ you asked as you stood up and looked at the small girl.
‘Uh, uh Keira Stone.’ She said sounding extremely intimidated.
‘Ok cheers, when you see Hermione Ron or Harry could you say that I’ve gone for a walk and I will be around the lake if they need me?’
‘Erm, ok, but won’t you be with Cedric?’
‘No, I will be alone I hope.’ You said looking up to the ceiling. ‘Whatever you do, don’t tell them he needed to talk to me; god knows what they will think.’
‘I won’t.’ she replied.
‘Thanks, I’ll bring you a couple of chocolate frogs or something later.’ You said and then walked off and out the portrait to find the tall boy stood waiting looking down over the banister. ‘Long way to fall.’ You said and he turned around.
‘I know.’ He replied taking a step towards you. ‘Can we talk?’
‘Cedric you can’t break up with me, were not dating.’ You replied sarcastically.
‘Not that type of talk.’
‘Is there going to be any talking at all?’ you replied, a slightly cheeky gleam in your eyes.
‘Yes – oh – Hannah I just want to talk – why does everything have to be so complicated.’ He said falling over himself.
‘Alright, I will try and not be me for the next hour or so.’
‘No don’t do that, just, lessen up on the sarky comments for a while please.’
‘Lake?’
‘What?’
‘Shall we go to the lake to talk?’
‘Oh – yes, ok.’ He replied running a hand through his hair.
‘Now you can’t have just wanted to talk about the tournament, what’s on your mind?’ you asked as you sat on a log on the far side of the lake.
‘Yeah.’ He breathed. ‘I… I don’t want to –‘ he sighed. ‘I like you, more than I’m meant to. I want more.’
‘Right… like?’
‘A relationship.’ He replied and you nodded slightly. ‘It’s not like – we’re not just fucking sex buddies, we talk, and we are just like girlfriend and boyfriend without the label.’
‘What about Cho?’
‘What about her? Sure she’s a nice girl, but I realised that she was just there to make you jealous, and for me to try and shove my feelings for you away, but I can’t. And I don’t see how you could possibly not have any feelings for me.’
‘Well obviously I do.’ You said without missing a beat, shocking Cedric and yourself.
‘Then why can’t we go out?’
‘There’s just a lot of things to think about.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like my own personal rules, what other people will think.’
‘Fuck it.’ He replied. ‘Take a chance.’ He said and got up and walked towards the school. ‘Meet me outside the great hall after dinner.’ He turned and walked away, and you just watched.
As soon as he was out of sight you fell out of your state. Every time he was around you, you would almost forget that it wasn’t real, and it was the most frustrating and aggravating thing you’ve ever experienced.
As dinner ended you met with Cedric.
‘Come with me.’ He said as he pulled you into the shadows.
‘And what am I going to say to the other three?’ you asked as you faded into the darkness so that passers by were not able to notice you unless they looked directly at you.
‘Have they asked where you have been going all the time at the moment?’
‘A little, we are all trying to help Harry prepare so –‘
‘So they won’t ask questions this time come on.’ He said leading you out the castle.
‘Where are we going?’
‘Astronomy tower roof top.’
‘What about classes, we can’t just be there when they arrive to lie and look up.’
‘You may have not noticed, but its two days until the final task, therefore we have no classes.’
‘Ok, but how are we going to get up there with out being seen?’
‘One, I don’t care if anyone sees us and, two, because of the teachers only, there’s a little thing called accio firebolt.’ He said, and about 30 seconds after he held his hand out and his firebolt soon was in his grasp.
‘All right mister I-use-magic-to-show-off; let’s go.’ You replied and he grinned.
Cedric climbed onto the broom and waited until you were securely holding on, he then kicked off and soared upwards.
‘So, if you were single this would technically be our first date.’ You said as you came level with the top and he began to steady and land.
‘I suppose, but really I think we are on about the we’ve-been-dating-for-one-month sort of stage.’
‘Yeah I suppose.’ You replied as you got off the broom and he followed suit.
That night you spent the night watching the stars, kissing and talking, the final words he spoke were “Stay with me.” Indicating that you would sleep there together (in a nonsexual way for once), in which you replied, “Ok. But you didn’t stay with me.”
You don’t know if he heard you, if he was already asleep or he wasn’t aloud to hear it, but the two phrases echoed all night as you lay on his chest watching him and the night sky.
---
The next morning he awoke to find you sat watching the sunrise.
‘Morning, what time is it?’ he said to your back as he stretched and rubbed his eyes.
‘About for 4am.’ You said your voice very soft and quiet from not talking for so long.
‘Are you ok?’ He asked shuffling towards you and drooping his legs over the edge. You nodded as you felt a warm arm come round you and pull you into him.
‘Just thinking.’
‘About?’ he said in a tone that suggested he didn’t think he was going to like what it was about.
‘Us.’
‘Good or Bad?’
‘Both.’
A sceptical look came over his face as he studied yours, he then looked away and out at the pink sky. He sighed and leant forward resting his elbows on his knees and head on his hands.
‘Like what?’ he asked.
‘Like, whether we should stop being a Cho and Cedric plus Hannah or an us.’
‘So what are you thinking?’
‘Lots of things.’
He sighed and shook his head with a half smirk.
‘You won’t give me a lead her will you?’
‘I’ll tell you one thing, maybe two.’ You said looking at him over your knees.
‘Shoot.’
‘Number one. I think I need to get back to the common room so I can fake that I fell asleep down there.’
He laughed slightly and nodded. ‘Tell me one thing what you’re thinking about us.’
‘Whether we will still want each other so badly when we get together.’ You replied as you watched him get up and walk over to where his broom lay.
‘Ahh, now see that – that was helpful.’
‘Why is that?’ you asked also getting up and walking over to where he was stood, broom in hand.
‘Because, it may just have been the way it was phrased, but I can get a lot from that – ‘
‘Oh god, not the whole thoughtful Hufflepuff deal again?’
‘Uhuh uhuh.’ He grinned getting on the broom. ‘See, for me, you told me that you want me, badly, and that we are going to get together.’
‘Right…’ you said getting on and holding him by the waist, he kicked off and extremely quickly, you were back on the floor.
‘You know I’m right.’
‘Uhuh, sure.’
‘Well I know one thing.’ He said walking into the castle with you quietly.
‘And what would that be?’ you whispered back as he took your hand and led you towards the stair case.
‘That I am breaking up with Cho tomorrow night.’ He eventually replied as you came towards his corridor. ‘And I am coming straight for you after.’ He whispered as he stood you by his corridor. ‘I’m going to Hogsmeade today, meet me after dinner, won’t you?’ he tickled your ear with his words and then left you.
