I think I need a new life. (Part 1 of 2.)

Now maybe he'll see how much he really needs me when I'm truely gone...
Now that I'm gone...I wonder...will he ever forget me? Our memories? The love that we made together? Who cares...
The 30 seconds that he waited were the worst. He knew that this was all his fault...and that I had just made my choice. Under the black water, I laid in my watery grave. The white foam had cleared enough for Ryan to see, but no one was there. As he stared down at the water...in his eyes...came a small red line. Showing that he was about to do something. He closed his eyes. Took a deep breath, and jumped over and into the water. When he came up...there was nothing there but the night sounds and white foam in the water. And there were only two splashes in the water...and one death. Ryan looked all around. Swinging his head left and right, looking for something. "Lyssa! Where are you!?" Ryan was still swimming around in the black water...looking for his dead ex girlfriend. His pain and sorrow was surrounding him in the water. As tears rolled down his face...his vision was blurred, but through the watery lens he found someone. It seemed to be a girl. He felt their face. Ryan knew it was her. The one he was looking for. Me. He dragged her behind him to the bank of the river. Slowly he raised his hand over my head and placed it gentley on my forehead. 'She's cold...am I too late?' Ryan thought to himself. He began to push on my chest, to pump out the water in my lungs. The words echoed in my head...'Now that I'm gone...do you realize how much you need me?' My head moved a little to the right. And Ryan had that look of hope on his face. "Ly-Lyssa? Are you coming back?" I looked up at him. My vision blurred from the water and half death. "So...thats how it feels to die..." He looked at me. Wide eyed and sick. "What? What happened?" Staring off into the distances...I regained what had just happened. "I...I don't know. Somehow...you appeared in front of me and you held out your hand to me. I took it and everything went black. I don't remember much of it though..." I trailed off. He threw his arms around me and I backed up. "Wha...what are you doing?!" "I'm so glad that you came back! I couldn't live without you Lyssa! Don't ever leave me again!" I looked at him. "Promise me...Promise me!" He shook me and I nodded. I got up, slowly walking away from him and into the bright, orange street lights. 'I don't think I can make this work again...after what happened that night...' I turned to face him and his eyes were red. Bloodshot. What had really happed had scared him half way to his own death. "Do you think...-" "...than we can make this work again?" I finished his sentence. Ryan looked at me and smiled alittle bit. 'Its good to see a smile in the darkess places.' I thought to myself some more. "...I'd like to make this work again...but-" "Don't say that you can't! You can! Your better than that Lyssa! Don't give in! Don't give into me please!" He got down on his knee's and pulled out a small velvet box. I was in shock. "Please...I can make this work. Put all your trust in me. And I know that I will pull through." He continued on. "Now, please don't give in. I know that its been hard on the both of us- more you than me. But, will you marry me?" I stared down at him. And something inside me said, 'Don't let him go. He's the one who makes you so happy. Even if he does trip up a little...So what. Its just a mistake. And once you realize that a mistake has been made...you can make sure you never do it again.' Those words put great faith in me. Because I said, "Yes."