The Unattainables 3

Chapter 4: Pippi Longstocking

"For non-existent-God's Sake, what's the emergency?"

Holding the door open so I presumably wouldn't barge through and knock it down –ha, yeah right-, Caine blankly looked at me and said, "I didn't say there was an emergency."

Huffing, I asked him why he had called me implying that I was needed dearly then.

All he did was look me up and down, and no, not in the typical mmm, that's some fine ass way. More like why are you wearing that? "What's with the outfit?"

Ha ha. If there were such things as real psychic, I'd be one. "What do you expect when you call randomly?"

He did his casual shrug and repeated his question, so I told him, "I was trying to find a soccer ball. No luck though, damn children are all getting obese watching too much corrupting television indoors every waking hour."

"What were you doing out there? You don't know anyone!" he exclaimed with arms waving and in a slightly high voice. It's quite comical and pretty cute.

When I finished chuckling in his face, I retorted, "But I know where the park is and I told you I didn't see anyone…" The old man walking his dog doesn't count. Then to cheer him up, I did my best gangsta impression. "Yous such a fool, C."

With his arm swung around my shoulder, he told me to come on, G-unit, I've got a surprise for you.

His surprise just so happened to be "Sahi!" which I announced with renewed vigour when I saw her grinning in their living room. Regaining my composure, I asked, "When did you get here? Caine told me you were with peacekeepers in South America."

"Good one," she told Caine and then turned back to me. "Now cut it with that bullshit icy façade, Cryssie. Give me a hug!"

Grudgingly engaging in the affectionate act, I forced out through gritted teeth that she was lucky I like her or I'd turn her over to Alannah for swearing. Gosh, her nickname for me is almost as bad as my actual name.

We chatted and caught up for ages –hell, we haven't seen each other for a frickin' year! The Ice Age that rolls around after every fall season has melted though, yay- until Mrs. Coltsteene popped into the living room.

She was smiling at her children, specifically Caine, until she noticed my glaringly obvious presence. "Oh, Crystal's here. Hi Crystal. Children, dinner's ready. Caine, can you please go get Rhey? I'm sorry Crystal," she said without any actual sadness as she emphasized my name for the third time. "but we're having an important family dinner tonight, celebrating Sahi's arrival, so you're going to have to go home."

Psh, go home? Is she serious? She really is as delusional as Father and Alannah, thinking my confining prison is anything like a home.

Using my tone usually only saved for step-mummy, I got up from beside Sahi on the plush costly couch and said, "I understand. Have a good evening, Sahi. Tell Caine I said bye."

Sahi, being more observant because of her female status than her brother –and the fact she's the Black Sheep; being a comedian and a student at a less-than extraordinary college instead of spending her parents riches and getting into a prestigious university-, was aware of her mother's flirting with dislike for me –and herself-. As I was walking toward the door, I heard her say, "Mom, Cryssie just got here too and we only see her when she comes in the summer. Don't you think we should celebrate her being here too? Plus, Caine would be really happy if she stayed."

Mrs. Coltsteene's lips pursed, probably checking for any way she could politely insult and get rid of me while still keeping her clever offspring happy.

"Alright, as long as Carl agrees," Carl just so happens to be Caine's dad. Remember him, the one that likes me? Yeah, score one for Sahi and I! God, I love that girl… don't get any ideas though or snotty thoughts. Homophobia is gay. "Now I've got to make sure there's enough for our guest, excuse me."

Boo hoo, like setting the table for an extra person is so hard a task. I must say I'll never understand how strenuous some people make simple everyday jobs out to be. That's the biggest difference between Alannah and Mrs. Coltsteene: Alannah works… even if it's the reason I might someday snap and kill someone –I'm kind of hoping it will be Bridezilla herself-.

"Your mom so doesn't like me."

"Ever wonder why I went away for college?"

"Nope. But if I had, I'd know now fo sho."

_-_

"So what do you want to do? My friend's holding a party we could go to."

"Oh. Actually, I can't. Alannah's making me come home for 'Business Bonding Time'."

Good enough excuse, right?

"Aw, crackers. Well, come on, I'll walk you out."

Do I really have the heart to lie to a boy who says "aw, crackers"? –Actually, I probably would if it was anyone but him.

"Ha, just kidding! You fell for it, idiot!"

Caine's beautiful face scrunched up as he said, "That wasn't nice! I believed you."

"I know. I just don't really want to go out. We haven't spent any time hanging out."

"We can hang out tomorrow, just the two of us, I promise. We'll watch What Not to Wear, criticize Stacey and Clinton, and eat all the ice cream we want. Mmm, I can't wait."

"Did you promise him to come or something? Why do you want to go so bad? Is there a girl you want to fuck, 'cause you know there will be so many other chances for that? I'm not getting it right now, Caine."

I saw that hesitation on his face but ignored it. "Uh, yeah, that's it. I know it's stupid and all but I really wanna go see her. I promised this girl I'd be there."

"Oh, well, you should go see her. Wouldn't want to disappoint her, you know? It's not like there will be other girls."

His sad puppy eyes weren't working on me when he said, "I'm sorry. I still want you to come."

"No, it's ok, you'd probably ditch me anyway. Bye."

As I turned around I barely heard him say, "Good. It's better that way, I guess."

_-_

I'm mad, oh yeah, and neither time nor anger will wait for me to be sure that Mrs. Coltsteene is out of hearing distance. That's why I'm mumbling swears as I walk myself out.

"Stupid ass. No idea how to treat a girl… his mother shouldda taught him some respect… Idiotic shithead."

"What was that about my mother, Cryssie?" Sahi called out from her room in fake anger.

"Don't call me that."

"Whoa, what's wrong?"

Shaking off Sahi's hand, I continued down the hall before telling her in my most convincing voice that nothing was wrong.

"That's a lie, Crys, but all right, have it your way; play the ice bitch."

"Takes a bitch to know one."

"What did he do?"

It was time for a 'don't even get me started' sigh. And she understood.

_-_

After many cups of whatever crap Sahi had been drinking in Bolivia –I prefer coffee milk but those words together mean nothing to her-, complaints about how Caine had "said it was better that I didn't go, the unfeeling bastard! One of the only reasons I came is to see him, and then he ditches me for some fuck toy," and a mixture of agreeing and reassurances from Sahi, I'm "home" where I'm going to stay.

"Crystal, where is Camilla Coltsteene's son? You two are always together. Have you decided to focus on your future instead of wasting time with him?"

That was definitely the wrong thing to say, even if I am mad at Caine.

"No, it's called a fight. We're in one. You would know what one's like if you weren't so busy focusing on pie charts or speeches. Then you might experience an emotion like anger or one other than indifference to anything but work."

"Fighting is a flaw in a person's character, Crystal, so I'm not going to do so with you, but I don't appreciate your attitude. I will not have my daughter speak to me that way. If it continues, I'll arrange some appointments for you to fix this issue," she said, and then walked away with perfect posture and her head held up just so.

"Daughter? I am not your daughter and never will be, so find someone else to transform into your protégée... as long as it's not Freddie."

She huffed in response but otherwise pretended she didn't hear me. Whatever.

What to do now? Well I'm definitely not going into the room designed by her. God, I have to get the fuck out of here. But where am I going to go at ten o'clock at night when I only know a select amount of people here?

_-_-_

I want to take you through a wasteland I like to call my home. Welcome to Paradise.

"Uhhh, sleep."

Welcome to Paradise.

"Miss Crys, your phone is ringing. Please get it."

Far from paradise, I'm in the pool house right now with Adel, the housekeeper. Oh, and my cell is ringing; I'm pretty sure it's pissing Adel off and since I really have no where else to go at the moment, I better get it.

Shit, I hope it's not Caine. I haven't talked to him since the day before yesterday. I smirk though, knowing it can't be step-wifey since not even my father has this number.

"'Lo?"

"No, it's Caine."

I chuckled, "Not what I meant, silly." Wait, I'm supposed to be mad at him, that ass, making me forget. Back in bitch mode, I demanded from him what he wanted.

"I'm really sorry, Crys. I shouldn't have gone; it wasn't the same. I would have had more fun with my Cryssie-wissie, just the two of us."

"Only your sister can call me that. But damn straight, you missed me." I think a little begging is in order.

"Yeah, I did. Forgive me now? Pwease? I never meant to hurt you." Aw, so cute. Like I've said before, any other boy and I'd be faking gagging.

"I don't know, I think I'm still holding out until I hear the words SKOR ice cream." Mmm, imagine it now: crunchy bits of toffee and chocolate with chocolate ice cream.

"SKOR ice cream!"

"And?"

"Caramel and hot fudge sauces?"

"I was thinking watching the What Not to Wear episodes you mentioned before we got in a fight, but that's fine with me too."

"Alright, I can do that. See you soon?"

"Yes! Thank God, it smells in here. For a housekeeper, Adel sure doesn't know how to keep house."

"What was that, Miss Crys?"

"I was only joking Adel… sort of."

Her stern gaze isn't crumpling.

"Out, out. Now."

"Where are you and what're you doing with your housekeeper?"

"In the pool house, genius, and I just got kicked out thanks to you."

"Ha, no you didn't!"

"Psh, did so, but I'll explain later. Bye." I told him and hung up.

_-_

A while of watching hopeless sycophants try to impress Stacey, Clinton, family, friends, and the whole TV viewing world for a few hours is enough to get anyone snarling. I don't mean myself –'cause I can turn my snarl on in seconds-; Caine looks like he wants to take Stacey's heels and shove them up her ass. I'm pretty sure the only reason he'd leave Clinton alone is because we all know Clinton would enjoy it.

I kind of get why Caine wants to go to so many parties because at least when you're drunk or high you're never really bored, everything's exciting, and there's always something to do. Great, now I'm advocating drugs and alcohol. That's probably the only reason why I'm letting him "persuade" me right now.

"So… would you be mad at me again if I asked if you want to come to another party? I promise there's no 'fuck toy' waiting for me."

My mouth opened in shock, that bitch had blabbed!

"Don't get on Sahi's case, it's a sibling thing to tell each other stuff. She just wanted to help me out. Plus, it's kind of a funny word," he explained, grinning at me.

"Oh, shut up. You're lucky I'm not pissed you even suggested it. If I weren't so bored, I'd have dumped the rest of the melted ice cream on your head."

"No way, stay awayyy from me, girlfriend!" Caine said in his gay guy impression. He even got a hand gesture in.

"Wow Caine that looked a bit too natural, if you ask me."

He keeps up his act, putting on a positively shocked face and shouting "no comment" before walking out of the room.

"Yeah, that's right! Walk away!" He just grins at me before continuing to wherever he's going… which is where? "Wait, where are you going?"

"Getting changed before we go!"

Oh, ok. I'm perfectly fine with going in my black sweatpants, white tank top, and crimson hoodie.

Psh, I knew I was right –as usual-; he is gay! Or maybe he went to get a sex change when he said he was going to that party? Ha ha, kidding. Or am I? Oh the horror.

Once more when I was alone in a part of Caine's house, I started thinking, just not about random pets or other shit this time. More like about how I don't really want to go to some party, once again, with kids I don't fucking know. Even if I was bored a few minutes ago, there's plenty of other things too liven everything back up. Seriously, even though Caine said there wasn't another "fuck toy" –Yes, I'm quoting myself- waiting for him this time, it wouldn't be hard to change that. Damn that boy, his gorgeous looks and his unique taste.

Right now he's walking back into the room in a black collared t-shirt from the 80's maybe, some lime green & black plaid shorts from the 60's. You get to know the years when it's all the boy has been wearing for the past three years. Oh, and lastly a white hoodie most likely from his sister, Rhey.

Rhey's the only one that bothers buying him clothes different from his style. She hates his vintage apparel off thrift store racks so she does her best to incorporate Ambercrombie & Fitch into his wardrobe. The surprising thing is that occasionally he actually wears what she buys with a casual stride going and a smile right where it's meant to be always on his face.

"I'm happy you didn't say no, Crys."

"Yeah? No," I said quickly.

"Yeah. No? I'm so confused right now."

Actually, me too but shhh, he doesn't need to know that.

"I'm not coming."

"What the hell? Why?" he asked in question to my out of the blue statement.

Holy shit, he swore. God save the Que -err, I mean me, not her! Seriously, Caine hardly ever swears.

It made me sheepishly respond, "Well, come on, I don't know those people and I don't really want to. They're all the same, always with their noses in the air, wearing the exact same clothes, always getting drunk and high. I think by now you'd know I'm not like that."

He still had that frightening look on his face when he said, "Look, they're not all the same, all right? I'm not the same but I still hang out with them. You met Taylor and you like him, so just do me a favour and come, ok?"

I decided not to tell him what a weird kid I think Taylor is but I'm still not budging.

"I promise I'll come next time."

"Liar!" he pointed out.

"No comment," I said, my mind utterly blank but still determined.

Trying to appeal to the malevolent side of me, –and not the stubborn donkey naying it's head- Caine said, "You don't want Xavier to think you're scared of seeing him again, do you?"

Hmm… I'm not afraid of the opinions of Mr. High & Mighty that Caine just mentioned but I wouldn't mind taking him down another peg of the totem pole he's at the top of. I can't say it's necessarily his fault; to get to the top of them you need some help. Unless you get a ladder and climb it and he's smart enough to do that, it seems. Oh well, no more getting side-tracked over a stupid metaphorical totem pole and the equally idiotic boy on top.

"Guilt tripper," I said, knowing he would understand that this was myself agreeing to make a sacrifice –a rare thing at that.

"But you love me anyways."

_-_

Great! He's not even here, that ass. Not that I care, but if I came on the notion that I would be verbally sparring with him he should at least have the decency to show up. Not that he knows this. From what I understood from our first meeting, he doesn't have many manners anyways.

Gahh, Caine lied to me then! That ass. Speaking of asses, I'm going to kick his when I find him.

What am I fricking going to do now? As I said, Caine promptly vanished when we got here. Now that I think about it, his disappearing act is rather suspicious. I bet he knew Xavier wasn't going to be here. Ass.

Oh. My. God. -No, nothing dramatic just happened… unless you count that I've gone insane. Want to know how I know? Yes? Well… what shall I do today, what shall we do today, what shall I do today? What shall I dooo? In case you have no childhood memories, that's a version of Pippi Longstocking's theme song in my head. I'm doomed. The only company I have is that of a ginger-haired, poke you in the eye with my braids and carry you around the island with one hand fictional character that is singing songs in my head. We only have in common the same stares reserved for crazies that we get.

I like long walks on the beach by myself as the Sun sets. Cheesy? Yes. But that's what it would seem like if you saw me right now 'cause that's what I'm doing. It's not like anyone's going to care.

"Hey, watch out!"

I swivelled around to see who said that which led to me getting pegged in the chest by a football. Or not! That's right, bitches, I caught that sucka. Talk about good reflexes; maybe I have more in common with Pippi than I thought.

But still, what is it with those pigskin morons and trying to hit me with footballs? I am so not giving them their stupid little ball just so they can make more incomplete passes that might take out other innocent victims! Seriously, there are wasted stoners and other little shits around; I'm doing them a favour keeping the ball.

"Hey, you alright? I'm sorry; the guys' aren't at the top of their game. Too much to drink, unlike me."

"Sunglasses Boy?"

He looked totally confused and maybe even appalled: hilarious! But oops, I'm supposed to be embarrassed about giving away my ingenious nickname for him, aren't I?

"What did you just call me?"

Oh, that was just a little snarky. Looks like I might be missing out on him. Oh well, wouldn't be the first time.

"Sunglasses Boy." Did I have to spell it out? Gosh, it looks like Different Girl didn't inform him of their future together. How forgetful.

Great, now he's looking at me like I'm stupid.

"My name's Roderick. Yours?"

It looks like I found the guy that has Xavier's missing manners.

"It's Crystal." Right then, I'm pretty sure a look saying 'shit' passed over my face. Why did I tell him that? I want to forget my name, not add to the ones that know it! I don't even get myself sometimes.

But, in all honesty, it felt right. He told me his name (though I already knew it) and I told him mine. Fuck. It's that simple.

"Shit. You shouldn't call me that though. Everyone calls me Crys."

See; I can't lie to this guy. Or maybe I'm just rambling to him? Ha ha, lucky kid. I can be quite the talker, especially inside my head (as you know).

He smiled a genuine toothy-white smile… and I almost dropped onto the sand. "I like Crystal better though."

So do I, if he's saying it.

"Can I have my football back though? The guys will notice I'm gone soon, even if they're stoned."

"See, I hate to be a bitch and all," No, I really don't. "but what if someone misses a pass again? I was almost taken out, and I'm sober. What about the poor drunk girls? They might lose a nail."

He let out an infectious laugh and said, "You might just have to play with us then, save them all."

I openly cringed at both the idea of playing football and doing something nice for a bimbo.

"Sadly, I don't think I'm ready to make that kind of sacrifice."

I really wasn't. Spend some time playing a sport I absolutely abhor? I'd have to give up on my brooding! As much as I say I hate being alone, I'm pretty sure I'm a hypocrite.

We laughed at what I said and then he suggested we go over and grab some food. The hypocrite inside me agreed.

While we added food to our hamburgers, I was surprised to see some girls actually eating the food instead of vomiting it up, which they only do after too much drinking –lies! The unnerving part was most of them were starring and glaring at me. At first I didn't really get it. Sure, I'm used to girls not liking me, but usually they have a just cause. Well, ok, it's not always just but they think it is.

Anywayys, the facts are that I just let one attractive guy have the time of day. The girls noticed that –don't they have their own lives? Psh, those losers- and hate me for it. Meh, I don't care. Did I ever want their friendship? Nope.

_-_

I got rid of S.B. the One and Only –sorry it rhymed, I couldn't resist- 'cause we can't have the boy thinking he's got a chance. Plus, I don't like being the centre of attention and fuck, that guy certainly is. I swear he always sends out the message "girls ogle and claim me as your own, and guys, don't worry, you can faun over me too."

Oh great, Ashlin's coming over here. I didn't even know she was here in the first place but she is, coming closer with her wanna-be innocent angelic smile. She probably wants to tell me to stay away from Roderick; he might not know about their fate, but she and her P.I. (Prissy Idiots, remember?) do. That's why they're all exclusively avoiding me –oh wait, cancel that. They're staying away from the creep perving down the beach. Yay, look at the new ranks I'm among.

"Hey girl, where ya bin?" Ashlin asks with her arm on my shoulder.

"Whoa, what?" She's actually talking to me?

"I said hey." She smiles, like usual.

"Oh. Hi." Awkward pause. I can't stand it and blurt out, "Thought you weren't supposed to talk to me?"

She looks bewildered. "What are you talking about? I haven't talked to you since the beach, we need to catch up!"

"I thought you had some girly pact to ignore my being? Apparently I'm threatening to other females, ha."

"Nahhh. You're too cool, I'd be missing out if I didn't chat with you."

Wow. I wasn't expecting that. I was ready for a bitch fest and she has to go and be nice! Typical.

"Hey, give me your cell. We've got to hang out sometime, like tomorrow. More tanning okay?"

I hesitated giving it to her but there's no stopping her.

"Fine, whatever. I thought you didn't want to though? Remember skin cancer?"

"Ha ha, I just said that. You're not getting out of this, I'll see ya tomorrow, chicka."