A month of working out and parenting later, Bam and I finally got a grip on this parenting thing. We’ve worked out a system where Bam would get certain hours with Andrea and so would I.
Just kidding! We didn’t do that! We just took turns taking care of her at night.
All we do is hang out with her at the same time.
Any who, Bam finished the Jackass Movie about a week ago so he has been spending almost every waking minute with Andrea.
Weather it’s on the couch, on the floor, or in our bed, Bam is always with her every chance he gets. It’s cute really. If he watches TV, she’ll be on his lap or under his arm. Even when he’s in his chair; the chair that no one’s allowed in but him. She’ll be in his lap, sleeping. Sure, I’ve had time with her, but not as much as Bam. He’s with her 60% of the time and I’m the other 40.
But I have to say, “YAY!” for me because I lost all my baby weight. I have to thank Bam for taking Andrea off my hands though. My stomach is flat and toned once again. And also, no strech marks! I’m so glad! Now I don’t have to worry about not being able to wear bikinis because that’s all I have. And my tattoo looks normal. It was funny looking when I was pregnant, because it was all blown up, but now it’s normal.
“Babe!” Bam called.
“What?” I called back from the laundry room where I was folding laundry. Duh.
“Can you make us some of those pizzas? We’re hungry up here!”
I gave myself a weird look. “What are you talking about we? Everyone is out of the house!”
“I’m talking about me, myself, and I!”
I rolled my eyes. “Well you’re gonna have to beat them out of Vito! He cleaned out our freezer.”
A few minutes later, Bam came down with Andrea in his arms. “What are you talking about?”
I gave him a stern look as he leaned against the frame. “Go look in the freezer.”
He walked to the freezer, looked in it, and groaned. He walked back over to me and handed me Andrea. He kissed her cheek and my lips and walked out, dialing his cell.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I called before he walked out the door.
“I’m not going to beat the food out of Vito but out of his car!” And he walked out.
I sighed, not knowing what he meant. He’s now probably going to fuck with Vito’s car and I’m not complaining. That guy has been getting on my nerves lately. He’s been coming here, making Andrea cry because he yells all the damn time, eating up everything in our fridge, and just being annoying. Sometimes I wonder how Bam is even related to him. Sometimes I even wonder why Phil’s related to him! And now I’m in his family. Damn it. Oh well, I always have Bam and Andrea, and Megan, Ry, Dico, Novak, Ape, Phil, Raab, Rake, and now Raab’s wife, Diva.
I walked Andrea to her little high chair and put her in. I quickly brought the basket of cloths over to the table and folded them in front of her.
“Daddy’s gonna mess up your great uncle’s car!” I smiled at her. I was talking to her in a baby voice. “You better never do anything like that!” She smiled and did a little laugh. I smiled and gasped. “Did you just laugh?”
She smiled again and giggled. “Oh my god, she laughed, her first laugh!” I picked her up out of her seat and twirled her around. I brought her close to my face and snuggled close to her belly. I gave her a raspberry as Bam walked in the door.
He came up behind me and waved at Andrea. “Hey baby love!”
She smiled again. His face lit up. “She smiled at me! Did you see it?”
I nodded. “And you missed her first laugh!”
His face dropped. “What?” He stood in front of her and looked down. “I missed your first laugh? Well do it again!” he begged. She just smiled up at him. “What did you do to make her laugh?”
I shrugged. “I just told her that you were going to mess up Vito’s car-“Her laugh interrupted me.
Bam and I looked each other and back at her. Bam looked down and spoke first. “I just messed up Vito’s car.” She burst out laughing. I smiled at Bam who looked at me. “I guess she likes when we mess up Vito’s-“her laugh interrupted Bam.
I looked at Bam. “Let me try. Mommy punched Vito in the face!” She smiled and laughed. I nodded at Bam. “You try.”
He nodded. “Daddy slapped Vito neck fat!” She laughed again.
I smiled and laughed. “This is perfect! She loves when Vito is annoyed!”
He took Andrea and stuck her up in the air. “You are defiantly my kid!” He brought her close to his body. “I’m gonna go skate.”
I smiled and took her from him. “Do you want to watch Daddy skate? I want to because Daddy’s hot when he skates! Yes he is!” I rubbed my nose on her’s. She laughed again and put her hands on my face. She just played with my cheeks as I puffed them in and out. She was going crazy! Bam laughed and went to put on a tank top. I put Andrea in her play pen while I brought the clothes upstairs. I put them away with Bam’s help. Well it wasn’t willingly, but whatever.
We walked downstairs and I picked up Andrea and Bam walked outside with his skate board. He was skating all around the place. Andrea and I just watched. She was watching him so seriously.
But I felt kinda left out. I haven’t been on a board for a long time. I used to go all the time but now, well now I haven’t been going at all.
If I were ever to get back on, I’d probably be rusty. But that’s my fault. I should’ve stayed on top of my game. I looked down at Andrea. But now I have a kid who doesn’t need a mom to have a broken arm or something.
“Tori?” I heard a voice say, knocking me out of my thoughts.
I shook my head. “What?” I looked up to see Bam giving me a concerned look.
“What are you thnking about?”
I shrugged. “Oh it’s nothing. It was just about how I haven’t been on a board for so long.”
He picked up Andrea and moved his board under my feet. “Well go and try it out.”
I raised an eye brow at him and stood up. “Ok, but have you keys on you because you’re probably going to have to take me to the hospital.”
He rolled his eyes and pushed me away. He sat down with Andrea and singled for me to go.
So I started to move on the board and got the hang of it quickly. I went up on the side and did some tricks there. I picked up speed and copied Bam’s moves from before. I ran as fast as I could and oiled over Vito’s old car. I rode back to Bam and he had his mouth opened slightly.
“What?”
He looked around and saw Dunn walking toward the house. “Hey Dunn! Come here!”
Ry walked over here and Bam whispered something in his ear. Dunn smiled as Bam told him. Ry nodded and took Andrea.
I looked at both of them. “What are you guys-AHHH!” Bam threw me over his shoulder and ran in the house. He ran into our room and threw me on the bed. He locked the door and crawled on top of me. He started at my lips then worked his way down to my neck. “What in the hell has gotten into you?” I grinned.
“When you were skating, you kinda turned me on,” he mumbled against my neck.
“Kinda? Wow,” I smiled. I slid my hands up his back and he kissed my lips.
….............................................................
A little after Bam walked out of our room, I decided to play with Andrea. We were sitting on the couch and I heard Bam and Ryan. I picked up Andrea and walked to the back door. I saw Bam and Dunn and a Cherry Picker with a Mega-Phone and Raab walking around with a bag.
I walked outside and sat down at the table. I put Andrea on my legs and bounced her up and down and watched in amusement.
“Raab get to work will ya, you fucking butt hole.” I watched Raab bend over and pick up a bag. “Grab the god damn bag and walk it over 50 feet that way. Good.”
I followed Raab with my eyes and smiled.
“Hustle it up you lazy fuck,” Ry added.
My head tilted back, laughing.
“Stop there,” Bam ordered. “Now draw a 1.” Raab did what he was told. “Raab that id the lousiest fucking 1 I’ve ever seen. Now walk toward us 20 feet.”
Raab walked.
“Alright, now stop!” Bam hissed. “Now 70 feet that way.”
“No, you idiot,” Ryan added.
“No, you’re too close!”
Ryan grabbed the Mega-Phone. “Right there you fucking moron.”
“All right, now fucking stop!”
“Go!
“Stop!”
“Go!”
“Fucking stop!”
“Stop!”
Raab looked at them confused.
“I heard that.”
Raab turned around. “What?”
“You’re cursing and walking. “
They kept Raab walking all over the place when I knew Bam probably isn’t even putting it there.
I watched Bam and Ry talk amongst themselves and Bam told Raab to walk right under them. And just as I thought it, Bam let his shoe drop and hit Raab.
Raab walked over to the side of the Cherry Picker. “I’m done.”
“Why are you walking that way?” Bam asked.
Raab looked up and laughed. “The key’s down here, you assholes!” Raab pulled what looks like the key out of the motor and waved it in the air.
“Come on. Raab, don’t be an asshole,” Bam said.
“Raab don’t be a dick,” Ryan begged.
Raab started to walk away and Bam brought the Mega-Phone back to his face.
“Raab, you know the consequences of taking the key.”
Raab was laughing still. “Yeah, you guys getting stuck up there.” I think is what he said. They all laughed. “Here, I’ll throw them to you.” Raab chucked the key so far in the woods.
“Raab, I’m gonna kick your ass,” Bam warned.
“Yo, call me when the golf cores is done,” Raab said, threw the bag up, and walked away.
“Hey Ryan, I just thought of another hole,” Bam said. “My foot up Raab’s asshole.” He started laughing.
I got up and shook my head. I walked over to the Cherry Picker. “Hey Bam!”
He looked down. “Will you get us down?”
I looked up at him. “Ok, wait a minute!” I walked around the Cherry Picker and looked at the controls. I found the button where is says “Lower”, but I decided to keep a little secret. Bam did hurt Raab so, I’ll just think of it as me repaying Raab from when we were on the river. When he threw the rock at Bam and Bam threw back the cell phone. I walked back around to them. “I need the key!”
“Well go look for it!” Ry whined.
I shook my head. “Fuck no! You got yourselves into this now get yourselves out!”
“Please Tori, go find the key!” Bam begged. Andrea started whining. “See, she wants me!”
I looked up at him and rolled my eyes.
“Throw her up,” Ry suggested. I gave him a stupid look as Bam slapped him upside the head. “What? I was kidding!”
I shook my head and walked away. “She’s just hungry, you dipshits!”
“Oh ok,” Bam said. “Go feed her.”
“You’re gonna let her go just like that?” Dunn yelped.
“Yeah, my baby needs to eat, you idiot.”
“That’s right Bam!” I turned and shouted. “I love you! Good luck getting down!” I blew him a kiss and walked away.
I went to feed her in the living room so I could watch these two morons try to get down.
I ended up putting Andrea to her nap and they were still up there.
I walked outside with my book and started reading. I looked out to see them just sitting and talking. I looked at my phone to see what time it was and it was almost 5.
I turned to see them just laughing. I smiled and rolled my eyes.
“It’s been four an half god damn hours,” Bam whined. I looked at them. Ryan said something and Bam smiled. “My fucking self, I need to let out.”
They laughed. I walked to get the guy who works the thing to get these two idiots down.
“Fuck!” I heard Bam call.
I walked to the guy’s truck and told him what happened.
We walked back and the guy asked, “What’s the problem?”
“Raab threw the fucking key in the woods,” Bam answered.
“There are controls up there.” They got up and looked at the controls. “There’s a button that says, ‘Pull to start’. You don’t need the key for that.”
“Thank you sir,” I thanked him and he walked away. I walked toward them and waited for them to get down. I crossed my hands over my chest as they argued about the control. I had the baby monitor on my hip just in case Andrea woke up.
“Fuck!” Bam called.
I walked toward the two who had just gotten down.
“Raab’s got a terrible pay back on his way because,” he turned to Ryan with the mega-phone in his face. “He just left us on a crane for four and a half hours!” He slowly took the Mega-Phone away. His face was so funny. His eyes were all wide and he snarled his mouth. He walked away and walked toward me.
“Are you feelin’ ok?” Ry asked, following him.
Ryan and I laughed as we walked back to the house. Then the baby monitor made a screeching noise and I clicked it off. I jogged to her room and saw her crying. Bam had followed me and picked her up first. I sighed and came up behind him. He leaned against the wall and rocked he back to sleep.
“Here, go,” he whispered. “I got this.”
I ignored him and walked out anyway.
This was getting so frustrating when he always has Andrea. I mean, she came out of me! Not him!
*Well, if you think about it, she did come from him...*
Shut up.
*Shutting up...*
I walked outside on the deck and watched the guys set up this golf cores.
“Tori?” I heard a voice say behind me. I turned to see Ry.
“Hmmm,” I mumbled back.
He pulled up a chair in front of me. “What’s the matter with you?”
I shrugged. “It’s just getting so frustrating when Bam always has Andrea.”
Ry nodded along.
“I mean, she came out of me! Not him! I didn’t see him in labor for eight and a half god damn hours!”
Ryan shrugged. “Well no, but this is new to him. He never had a kid of his own before. He just doesn’t want to mess this up, ya know?”
I sighed and put my head back. “Yeah, but still, it’s not only his kid. I had some part in this whole thing.”
“I know,” Ryan shrugged. “You have to understand how Bam is when it comes to these things. He’s a huge momma’s boy, he gives his dad a hard time with his weight because he doesn’t want to lose him, and he loves you too much that he doesn’t want you to work that much. Do you see?”
I nodded. “Well, I need to cool off. I’m going out to eat. I see you later Ry.” He hugged me and I left.
I was driving around and saw a flyer. I pulled over, got out of the car, and walked toward it.
”Dancing Instructors Needed”
I grabbed the flyer and read it over.
“Hip-Hop, Belly Dance, Ballet, Tap, and Jazz teachers needed
If interested, please call (354)-455-6739
Thanks,
West Chester Dance Studios”
*I can do most of those dances! I think I found a job! *
I shook my head and got in the car with the flyer, just in case I changed my mind.
I drove home to see the golf cores completely done.
It was dark out so I deiced to check on Andrea and go to bed.
I walked in her room to see her asleep. I walked into my room and slipped on a big t-shirt. I lied down in our bed was about to fall asleep, but Bam walked in.
“Hey babe,” Bam said, taking his shirt off and his pants. He just had his boxers on. He slipped in the bed. I turned my back to him. “What?”
I ignored him.
“Tori, what‘s wrong?”
I kept ignoring him.
“Is it because I made a mess in our bathroom?”
I turned to look at him, alarmed. “What mess?”
He put his arms around me so I wouldn’t move. “There isn’t a mess. But I talked to Dunn today, and he told me some things.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed him off. I got up and walked out.
I walked down to the Pirate Bar and grabbed a water bottle. I opened it and took a sip as Bam walked down.
I rolled my eyes and took another sip.
“Why didn’t you tell me that it bothered you?”
I sighed. “Because you seemed so happy and I didn’t want to ruin it.”
He came up in front of me and put both arms around me. “You know, right now, I’m so unhappy because I can’t live with you being mad at me.”
“Yeah, right, of coarse you can’t.” I huffed.
“It’s true!” he exclaimed. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have Andrea or the happiness I do now. I would probably still be married to Missy! And I wasn’t happy then. I’m happy now, with you. And having Andrea is just adding to the joy I share with you. I married you for a reason and I spend everyday with you for a reason. The reason is because I love you.”
I sighed and threw my head back. “God I sooo hate you right now. Why do you always have to be right?”
He smiled and leaned in. “Like I said, I love you.” And then he kissed me.
I woke up on the couch the next morning. I was a little chilly since a thin blanket was covering us and nothing else. I looked down to see Bam smiling. He kissed me and then a screaming Andrea interrupted us. I waited on Bam to throw me off him so he can go see her, but instead he grabbed another blanket, shoved me up, wrapped the blanket around me and told me to check on her.
I did and Bam said he had training to do with Dico.
“Ok have fun,” I said and kissed him.
“Oh and you have fun with your day with Andrea. I love you.” he kissed me again and walked off.
I played with Andrea for a few hours until Bam had his golf game. I got dressed in my black Dickies, gray Fox shirt and my black Vans. I picked up my sunglasses and walked outside with Andrea on my hip. She had on a little white dress with white sandals. We all walked to the finished golf cores and started at the first hole. “All right, here we go,” Bam said. He told us the rules as Raab started running. “Raab, number one or number two?” Bam asked. We all looked at Raab as he ran with two fingers in the air. We laughed. Bam leaned over tot Ry and whispered something. They started to walk away but I had to ask. “What are you two doing?” “Remember when he left us in the Cherry Picker?” I nodded. “Well now it’s his turn.” They ran to the Port-a-Potty and tapped it shut. I shook my head as Bam and Ryan walked back. “Let me the fuck out!” Raab called. We all laughed and Bam hopped in the golf cart Ryan just pulled up in. Ape, Megan, Diva and I walked to the Peephole with Phil and Vito. Bam went first and his ball fell off. Vito laughed and I wanted to punch him. Bam kept trying and got four. Vito went and got three. But he also got trapped when looking in the peephole. I laughed because Andrea was freaking crying from laughter. “Why is the kid laughing?!” Vito screamed. Andrea stopped laughing and started crying. “Ape, take her please,” I said, giving Andrea to April. I was about to slap Vito in the face when Bam grabbed my waist and turned me around. He was holding me back. I struggled against him but gave up. He let me go and Ape handed me Andrea. I glared at Vito instead. The next hole was the Biker Hole. I kept my distance from this hole. They each got five shots putting Bam with nine and Vito with eight. I was laughing and so was Andre
