Promise me Love, To Never Look Back...

These dreams continued for some time. Miaka had gotten her life back on track; as on track as it could get. She never stayed at home this long and now that she had gotten her chance she wasn’t sleeping well at night because of the nightmarish dreams she had about her time with Alex. Nothing bad ever happened, but it was so painfully real that she would wake up searching for him then not sleep for the rest of the night.

Finally it came time for Jonathan to go back to work. He said that a two week vacation was enough and there was an interesting expedition that he was looking forward to.

Miaka thought it would be good for her to go some where. But Jonathan had spent the last two weeks making a decision and wasn’t going waver. He wasn’t letting her go with him this time and though his excuses were reasonable Miaka knew that he wanted her to stay and have a normal life for a while. “I’m going to be on a ship with only men for a month. It’s hardly the place for you.” was one of his excuses. Miaka only shook her head and replied that she didn’t mind staying home for once. “I’ve gotten into the swing of things here. I like it,” she said. “Besides, James already offered to let me stay with him if I didn’t go with you. I’ll be fine.” It was all settled and Jonathan was scheduled to leave in two days.

On the night before he left, at dinner, Jonathan brought something up. “You haven't been eating.”

“What’s that?”

“And by ‘you haven't been eating’ I don’t mean that you’re eating small portions, I mean that you haven't been eating at all.”

Miaka felt trapped. It was true. She hadn’t been eating at all but she herself hadn’t really noticed. “Not that you’ve seen I haven't.”

“Miaka I can tell when there’s only one person eating in a house. I lived alone before Mom and Dad died.”

“Well…” Miaka wasn’t sure what to say. “Maybe I’m just not hungry.”

“Two weeks is a long time. What’s gong on? If you’re sick I can postpone the trip.”

She stood up and pushed her plate away. “Don’t. That would be pointless. I’m fine.”

She didn’t sleep again that night. Jonathan was leaving at two a.m. and she wanted to be up when he left. But that was the only reason she didn’t sleep. She was worried about what she might dream.

At two Miaka hugged Jonathan before he left and sat on the front step for a half hour. Then on impulse she began to walk down the sidewalk. A scent in the air, she realized, was what was driving her to walk. Miaka didn’t know the smell but it was so alluring that she kept walking. It t made her thirsty, the smell did. It was a level of thirst that she had never experienced before.

Self-consciously, tears streamed down her eyes but she couldn’t place the reason. Miaka began running down the sidewalk. When she reached the alley she stopped. There was an abandoned warehouse to her left. She heard loud music playing and lights flashing through the high windows. Still following the smell she went around to the door which was opened and a man was standing just inside. He turned to look at her and laughed. “You’ve missed the first four hours! Party’s full blown now!”

“You mean I can come?”
”Come? Why the hell couldn’t you come?”

Miaka stood at the door for a minuet after the man had turned back around. The smell was so strong now and she was sure it was here. She suspected that it was a rave by what the man had said about the first four hours.

The man turned and looked at her the n yelled over the noise. “Are you just gonna stand there? You want to dance?”

Miaka stepped inside. “No. I need to find someone.”

“K. Maybe I’ll find you later.” He then turned to a girl standing not far away. “Hey! You wanna dance?”

Miaka began to walk along the edge of the dancing crowd until she came to a row of seats, all empty except for one which was occupied by a man. She couldn’t see his face due to the very poor lighting but took the seat next to him anyway. He didn’t look at her for some time.

“Hey,” he said just loud enough for her to hear.

“Hey.”

“Did you just get here?” He asked turning his head away from her.

“Yeah. What exactly ‘s going on here.”

“What’s going on?” he repeated her question. “Oh I forget. You’re new.”

“New?”

“New to the way of things.”

Miaka felt uneasy. He wasn’t making any sense. “Well I haven't lived her very long.”

He shook his head and fixed her with a piercing stare. Half his face was shadowed and he smiled as if bearing a secret that she needed to know. She felt he was teasing.

“Don’t be stupid. You know what I mean.” He paused and looked away. “You were bitten. You’re one of us now.”

“What are you-?”

“You don’t need to hide it. You’re with your own kind here. It’s no secret. Do you think you’d be here if you were human? Look around. Look at the tables. Tell me what you see.”

She looked around, struggling to see through the lighting. “Wine? Why do you ask?”

He shook his head. “Not wine. But I forget. You’re new. Now tell me what drove you to come here. What is a vampire’s weakness? It’s your weakness to you know. That’s why you’re here.”

“I think I’m going to go now.”

“And what will you do? Lie awake in your bed while the man whom you have convinced yourself is only in your mind finds his way into your room? And then what? When you wake up form the cold clinch of his hands, will you pass the night in another room, or walk the streets following the scent of blood? Your brother is gone. Who will you turn to when this happens? Your cousin? Imagine yourself waking him out of a sound sleep to tell him that the bad vampire man won’t keep his hands off you. No. I don’t suppose you’d do that. You’re a smart girl. He’ll get impatient though, this man, then he’ll trap you and you won’t be able to get away. Are you imagining this Miaka? Love may be strong but desire is stronger. Not only for body but for blood. And how will you feel when this happens? How will you feel when love is extinguished and you have been defiled by the one that loved you? You’ll become a slave to his wishes and every moment of your miserable eternity will become your own personal hell until he finds you. You’ve hung yourself in the shower and the only note is the expression on your face, eyes still red from the alcohol and pills he forced you to take the night before. And to think that it’s all your fault because you wouldn’t even listen to what he was trying to say. When this happens, Miaka, I’ll be there to see the dirt spill onto you coffin.”

“Stop!”

“What? Am I upsetting you? You’ve brought this upon yourself. And that man, he’ll be waiting for you. He might be persistent. I’d be careful.”

“Who are you?” she demanded.

“You shouldn’t be worrying about that.”

“How do you know about it!? Who told you?!”

The man turned his head away from her. “Go home. That or find a lonely man to drown your sorrows in.”

Miaka didn’t run. She could hear him laughing as she walked away, out of the warehouse and down the sidewalk. His words were echoing in her mind. Once again tears streamed from her eyes and she ran for the door of her house.

She knew she wouldn’t sleep that night after what the man had said but she went to her room despite the warning in her mind. She tried not to notice Alex sitting in her windowsill watching her every step and flung herself onto her bed crying. The image of her death had been implanted in her mind, replaying over and over. And the image of Alex standing over her grave with no expression of grief at all.

Then she felt the gentle touch of comforting hands on her shoulder, not a heartless clamp. “What happened to you?” His voice was a sanctuary; exactly what she needed at the moment was to hear his soft words.

“I’m ok,” she replied, wanting to say as little as possible.

“You’re a wreck. What happened? What did they say to you?”

Miaka felt sickness rising in her throat. Everyone knew too much.

“I hoped that you would never find one of those places. He told you your death didn’t he?”

“Who is he?”

“His name is Ivan. He’s my brother.”

“Why was he telling me those things? Alex I feel like-.”

“You shouldn’t have let him speak. It’s alright though. Just tell me what he said to you.”

Miaka repeated Ivan’s words as best she could for Alex but she could feel her throat tightening when she saw the still vivid images of this coming true. Then Alex told her to go to sleep and she did. It was three thirty and Alex had to leave at six to finish some business with his brother. He didn’t tell Miaka this was shy he was leaving, though. He was expecting a fight and didn’t want to worry her. She had lost enough sleep because of him already.

It was seven o'clock when Miaka got up; an hour later than she had set her alarm for. Alex had done it when he got up to leave, she supposed, because there was a note on her night stand saying that he would be back as soon as possible, not to worry, and that he loved her.