Prom Queen To... Metalhead Bitch??? What Is HAPPENING To Me??? [01] Glamorous

I swear to God, Mondays really are terrible.

Always have been, and always will be.

Today did absolutely nothing to change that either.

The rest of that weekend had passed fairly uneventfully. Toby hadn’t really talked to me since I ditched him to look after Finn (although he didn’t know that part) and I hadn’t really heard from Pete, Kelly or anyone. It was a mixed blessing. Perhaps if I had, I would have got some warning for what greeted me at school. But after recent events I was perfectly willing to not talk to anyone until Monday morning.

When I walked in the gates, nothing looked particularly odd… but I did notice I got a few more stares than is usual. Hmm.

There were whispers too, mostly behind hands while the whisperers stared. This was starting to get weird.

As I approached my ‘group’ I greeted them with my usual wave and smile – only this time no one really smiled or waved back. Great. What the hell did I do this time?

I saw a couple of people nudge someone in the middle of the circle and saw Pete emerge, looking angrier than I’ve seen him in a while. Oh, no. Now what?

He walked up to me and brandished a phone in my face. “What the hell is this?” he demanded.

I took the phone and looked at the picture on the screen. Then my jaw dropped.

The picture was of me, exiting Finn’s house. As I pressed the Next button, I saw there was in fact a series of them, from me coming out of the house, smiling, to giving Finn a hug and then waving as I left. To someone who didn’t know what was going on, it looked like I was going home from doing something very bad at Finn’s house. And, I noticed with another pang, I was wearing last night’s clothes. I didn’t realise, when I picked them up off my floor and put them on again in the morning, what it would look like.

I sighed. “Oh, shit. Ok, look, Pete, as clichéd as it sounds, that isn’t what it looks like.”

“It better not be. You have about two minutes exactly to explain what the hell it was.”

This was a problem. Telling Pete the truth would reveal a couple of things I didn’t want him to know. Namely, that I’d been out with Toby (Pete wouldn’t get the friends thing), that I hadn’t told him and that I had been in another guy’s (Finn’s) bedroom without a chaperone. Those were just the main things.

I needed to think of something, fast.

“Ok, but it’s sort of a long story. The main thing you need to know is that I am not, and have never been and never will be cheating on you. Last night, I went to the plaza to the supermarket, to pick up some stuff for mum and dad. I saw Finn in there with a bunch of his friends. I waved, they waved… you get the idea. I think they were there for a movie, or something,” I lied smoothly, making sure to inject my story with as much of the truth as possible. I was uncomfortably aware of everyone listening.

“And since when are you on speaking or waving terms with Finn Scott?” Pete asked, still pissed.

“Since he gave me a CD the other day. Like I said, it’s a long story, but it’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?”

“The point is that when I came out of the supermarket, and the Plaza, I heard a noise, so I turned around. I saw Finn, who was pretty upset, sitting outside so I went and asked what was wrong. He told me his girlfriend – well, now his ex, I suppose – was cheating on him and he only just found out. I thought that was a pretty good excuse to be upset and obviously so do you.” I continued, and technically only the first bit had been a lie. I was doing well.

I went on. “Anyway, I don’t know much about Finn but I do know that he was very upset and shouldn’t be driving home. So I offered to do it for him. Mum had dropped me off and said to call her when I needed a lift back, so I didn’t have a car. I drove Finn home in his car, dropped him off, drove home and went to bed. Then, in the morning, I dropped his car off and walked home. I went inside because he invited me in and gave me another CD. I gave him that hug,” I gestured to the phone, “Because it looked like he needed it.”

Pete looked slightly mollified, but still a bit concerned.

“Look,” I said softly, and touched his arm, “I would never, ever cheat on you.” I looked up at his face, widened my eyes innocently and saw his own soften. I felt a bit bad for manipulating him but as long as it worked it was worth it. “I love you.”

Pete sighed. “I love you too. That’s why I get so mad. I just… I can’t bear the thought of being without you, y’know? Let alone the thought of another guy with you.”

It was my turn to melt. Here was why I had fallen for him in the first place. He was just so sweet.

“I know. You just need to trust me a bit more, ok?” I reached for his hands and held them for a second. “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Pete hugged me and I was very aware of the irony of what I just said. Especially because it wasn’t Finn he should probably be worrying about.

Now that our reunion and reconciliation had been very publicly acknowledged, everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Our breaking up would mean that they had to pick sides, which always got messy.

“So,” Pete said, previous altercation evidently forgotten, “Psyched for the party this Fri? It’s gonna be totally awesome…”

“Yeah,” I lied, faking enthusiasm, “I can’t wait.”

“Also… I was wondering if you wanted to do the music for it. I know you’re into that shit – God knows you get enough CDs from random people – sooo… how bout it?”

I allowed myself a full five seconds of optimism and delight that he would pick me for this important task before realising he was just trying to butter me up. Usually he gets another one of his dude friends, who DJs as a hobby, to do it. I mentally rolled my eyes. Of course.

“Really? But won’t Rob want to do it?”

“Nah, he’s cool with you doing it. Even said he’d help out if you need it.”

Yeah, right. More like try and take over once I’d played about two songs.

“Well, ok, I’d love to! Thanks!” I gave Pete another hug to show how appreciative I was of the ‘gesture’.

Before he could say anything in reply I kissed him and then went to the bathroom, suddenly overwhelmed by the hypocrisy and irony of the whole thing. Why had I all of a sudden gone from loving Pete with an almost disturbingly blind eye, to criticising his every move?

I asked myself the question again silently as I stared at my reflection in the school bathrooms. I looked exactly the same as I normally did… but definitely didn’t feel normal. Was it the thing with Toby? Finn? Or was it just me?

The ‘me’ in the mirror gave me no answers, so I straightened a couple of loose curls and went to leave. I heard the end cubicle flush and paused when Kelly came out to wash her hands.

“Kel? Hey,” I said by way of greeting.

She looked up, obviously surprised. “Oh, hey. I haven’t seen you all day.” It wasn’t a lie. For some reason she hadn’t been at the ‘confrontation’ this morning. “Hows things with you and Pete? He didn’t take the pictures to heart, did he?”

“Nope,” I said, “Thank God. I thought he was totally going to blow the whole thing out of proportion and take everything the wrong way, but he didn’t.”

“That’s good. So his party is still a happening thing?”

“Yep. He even got me doing his music for it… i.e. instead of Rob.” Kelly raised her eyebrows. I quickly checked the stalls to make sure there was no one there. “But I don’t think it’s because he particularly likes my taste.”

“Huh?”

“I think he’s trying to butter me up for this Friday. So I’ll, you know, do it with him.”

Comprehension dawned. “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’. And I’m not exactly looking forward to telling him that actually, I don’t want to be his birthday present…”

“Well… don’t shoot me, but… maybe you should.”

“What?!” I was shocked. Kelly may be the opposite of frigid but she always at least respected my point of view.

“I’m serious. It’s been how long since you guys have been going out? Ages, anyway. He’ll start to think there’s something wrong… and trust me, once the first time is over it stops being the biggest deal ever. I mean… who else would you rather do it with? Toby?”

Completely taken aback, I might have lost my temper. “Toby? Will you stop? Nothing is happening! It isn’t, it never has and it never will! Why don’t you understand that?!”

Kelly looked strangely satisfied as she threw her hands up and backed down. “Ok, ok, I’ve got it now. I swear I won’t say anything ever again.”

The conversation ended abruptly as the door opened and a bunch of seventh grade girls came in, chattering loudly. I was still angry though.

Mostly because I was right.

I mean, nothing was going to happen with Toby. Even if Pete and I did break up, we couldn’t go out – Pete would beat him to a bloody, twitching pulp. It wasn’t just the lack of freedom that had me seething, either, it was the fact that I was even thinking about this at all. Whatever happened to everything being normal?

It was all goddamn Toby’s fault.

Unfortunately for the boy in question this thought followed me around all day, so when he tried to talk to me at the end of the day he got brushed off with an annoyed, “Look, Toby, I can’t talk right now, ok?” This, coupled with the brush-off the other night, seemed to finally make a sizeable dent in his perception of me. It was about time he learned the truth. No one is ever as good as you want them to be.

I was also, just to add to it all, totally frustrated with the other Pete issue, and I couldn’t see a way out of it. This just made my mood even worse.

When I got home that afternoon I was in the mood for some loud music. I sifted through all the CDs I had acquired recently until I found the ‘heaviest’ one there. Most of it was a bunch of pop punk, I realised, annoyed. None this – Plain White Ts, Cute Is What We Aim For, Kids In Glass Houses – would fit the mood I was in. On the second shuffle through I found another one slipped in from somewhere, titled just ‘Pressure the Hinges”.

I put it on, as pressure just about fit my mood at that moment. The opening intro started and the vocalist started screaming – and I realised this was exactly what I wanted.

The lyrics started and I realised that in order to actually hear them, I had to really listen – and even then some of them just sounded incomprehensible. I got out my laptop and searched the title. Haste The Day. Hmm.

I opened another link to their lyrics and started the song again. This time, with the website’s help, I could understand what was being said.

“…And now I'm running out of reasons.
And I spoke too soon.
The clock weighs on the counter top.
Everything is sinking through the floor…”

It all made total sense.

“…And I swear, I swear we won't make it obvious

when we turn around again.
What are you afraid of?
Are you scared you're not alone?
You keep running out.
Turn around again…”

The song kept playing and I was entranced by the melody behind the ‘heaviness’ (I realised this was hardly heavy metal, but still more than I was used to) and the soaring quality of the singer’s voice.

“…Fifteen seconds until meltdown.”

It was having a similar affect to a horoscope – although a lot of people can relate, I’m sure, it just felt like the words summed up a lot of what I was feeling.

“…He’ll run and he’ll run and he’ll run til you stop him.

I see your eyes changing and your passions gone again.”

I closed my eyes, lay down on my bed, and let the music wash over me.

“Fifteen seconds til,

Fifteen seconds til…”
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