I Think That The Truth Is I'm Scared[Buddy Nielsen]Into/Chapter1

Moving from one town in New Jersey to another is like moving from LA to New York City. There's not much different except the location and people. That was all I was expecting when i moved from River Vale to Ridgewood. Just a change in address.
I wasn't worried about friends, I had survived up to 10th grade with only two good friends. Garrett and Rose. Both nut heads like me. Luckily we had made a pact to stay in contact. We could always drive to eachother. It's not like New Jersey was a huge state.
Everyone in my old school was either stupid and annoying or extremely boring. A general but pretty accurate statement. But two friends was all the three of us every really needed. We probably could have survived with none, but why would we if we didn't need to? So friends wasn't a big concern of mine. My people skills weren't too terrible, actually they were pretty good when meeting new people. I figured I could probably make at least one friend and if not, so be it.
My dad was an average middle class father. He worked in some kind of engineering job that got him tranfered to Ridgewood. In all honestly, I had no idea what he did in his job, he never had a clear way of explaining it so I stopped caring. It was a job, it got us money, so we could eat. That's all that matters in that situation.
My mom was non-exsistant. She couldn't stand me by the age of 5 and walked out. She never wanted a kid in the first place, and my father didn't either, but it happened and so they had a quick marraige and I was born. My dad just felt I was a second job and he had to take care of me. So he did. Not that he was bad, he was good as far as fathering goes. Fed me, not too paranoid or strict, made sure he had a general idea of where I was and told me not to get pregnant. Typical joke it became between us. A cruel but oh so true joke.
He'd say "Going out, Sage? Alright, just don't get pregnant. Have fun!"
And I'd respond with some smart ass comment that I'd switch up from time to time.
Some of the ones I've used tend to go like "I'll try!" or "What's pregnant mean?" or just something bland like "Will do. Bye!"
On bad days where the moods aren't too good, he won't say anything, or just say "see you later" because it was always like that. He, someone else, or anything really would get me down or angery and I'd contemplate things in my room and then leave the house to stop the thoughts and regain self control. Those times were becoming more frequent but I'd deal with it. That's all I could do. I didn't know how to prevent it and that would be fine. I didn't think itwould work forever of course and I was waiting afraid of that day. But I wouldn't tell Garrett and Rose that; I didn't want them to treat me different. So I stayed strong. I was so sure I was strong. I really was. Not too smart but pretty strong.
That's how I intended to keep it as I moved to Ridgewood.

I love you so much I started praying.