I Swear I Never Meant To Let It Die {Adam Gontier}

*REGULAR POINT OF VIEW*
my face was buried in his muscular chest. his arms wrapped tightly around me. i'd never felt more safe in my life. i looked up into his eyes, they had tears in the corners of them. i took his face in my hands, putting our noses together "i'm sorry adam" i said quietly, he rubbed his nose against mine, kissing me softly "i love you" he said simply, staring down at me "i mean it, i swear" i smiled "i know you do. and i don't deserve you" i wrapped my arms around his neck, he lifted me up and i wrapped my legs around his waist "deserve me or not, i'm staying with you" he said smiling "don't let me go" i whispered "never" i looked him dead in the eyes "i love you" i said grinning

*ADAM'S POINT OF VIEW*
i kissed the tip of her nose. why was she so perfect? she was everything i ever needed. i set her down, but kept my arm around her shoulder, her hand in my back pocket. i just wanted to feel her beside me. brad walked by holding his bass, he glanced up and back down, but his head shot up when he saw her "you made it!" he cried out happily! she laughed "yes wally, i did" he rolled his eyes "can you detatch yourself from adam for a second and give me hug?" i smiled. she ran towards him and hugged him, giving him a kiss on the cheek "you thought i'd miss this?" "uhh, yeah" me and brad said at the same time, we both laughed. i looked at her face, a smile breaking across my lips. she was grinning a toothy grin, while telling brad about calgary, she made me fall in love with her more each second. barry soon joined them, hugging and greeting her aswell. she caught me looking at her out of the corner of her eye, i blushed. she turned and winked at me, smiling. i walked towards her, and took her hand, intertwining my fingers with hers.

*REGULAR POINT OF VIEW*

a huge rush of energy shot between us when he took my hand. i could feel his fingers shaking slightly, he was nervous. i squoze them, making circles with my thumb on top of his hand. i looked up smiling at him, he leaned down and kissed me. i don't think he knew how much i cared for and loved him. i needed him, just as much as he needed me. what i'd said to him, it was so horrible. i tried to take in a breath without him noticing it quivering. but he did, he leaned down "please don't think about that night, i don't want you to, i've forgotten about it" he kissed my cheek, his lips lingering for a minute. my lip quivered and i turned around and pressed my face to his chest. he put his arms around me, resting his head on mine, kissing my hair "you won't forget about it adam, i was so awful" i said, tears falling down my face. he wiped them away with his hand smiling "how many times do i have to tell you you're not horrible before you beleive me?" he said, rocking back and forth "until i don't feel like such a bitch" i told him, and i did. i felt like the biggest bitch in the world. i'd turned into those girls at school that i hated. he laughed, he picked me up and spun me around "you're amazing! you're amazing! you're amazing!" he cried out. i burst out laughing, wrapping my arms around him as we spun. i caught glimpses of all the guys smiling at us. until i saw him. adam set me down, the smile had dropped off my face. he looked at me in confusion. he turned his head and made eye contact with neil. adam looked back at me. i took a deep breath, trying to repress the hate that had just bubbled up in me.

*NEIL'S POINT OF VIEW*

she was staring at me. her eyes full of hurt and anger. i spun my drumsticks around in my hands. an awkward feeling filled backstage. everyone could sense the tension in the air. "uhh, you made it eh?" i offered "yeah, i guess so" she said crossing her arms. adam was looking back and forth between us, i knew how uncomfortable this was for him, for everyone. i tried to think of something else to say, but i kept drawing blanks. i slunk over to where janin was standing, she took my hand "she'll come around" she said quietly. i looked at her and adam, he was whispering something in her ear, she shook her head. "she's pissed jay, she's really pissed. i've known her my whole life. and we've only ever gotten into a fight like this once" i said remembering back when we where 17, and i'd had a party and completely trashed the house, leaving her to clean it up while i crashed at a friends "it couldn't have lasted that long" she said. i looked at her and raised an eyebrow "2 months and she didn't say a word to me" janin nodded her head "wow, the girl can hold a grudge" "tell me about it" i said rubbing my eyes.

*ADAM'S POINT OF VIEW*
i sighed "please don't be mad at him, he's already been through enough" i said, pulling her closer to me. she huffed "i can't let go of that, that was completely out of line, and i'm angry with him" she said. i smiled, but it was a sad one. i hated them fighting, it was hard to watch. i knew he felt like shit, but seeing her probably made it worse.... and even though he deserved to suffer,i still didn't want him to.... i leaned down and put my lips to her hear "he messed up, he didn't mean it. he was angry with me, he just took it out on the wrong person" i said putting my arm around her waist "but he never talks like that to me adz, we're so close. we hardly ever fight" i smiled down at her "he made a mistake my love, i make mistakes all the time" i said, she rolled her eyes "well that's not completely obvious" she said, punching my arm lightly "you always forgive me, it takes you a while, but you always do" i said kissing her hair "yeah but you're different" she said. i laughed "how so?" "you can kiss it better" she said, getting on her tippy toes to peck me on the lips "true that" i admitted. i wrapped her in a hug, she put her arms around me, leaning her head against my chest "i could stay like this forever" she muffled into my shirt. i grinned, i could too.
"ummm, guys?" i heard brad say, it felt like i'd been standing there with her for hours "you might wanna come see this" he said, his head poking out of the side of the stage. i untangled myself from her, not willingly mind you, and walked over with the rest of the guys. we where met by thousands of faces, all erupting into a deafening cheer when they saw us. the. whole. club. was. PACKED. my stomach started churning, i backed away from the stage, trying to concentrate on not blowing chunks all over our instruments "don't puke, don't puke" i chanted quietly to myself. i stepped back a few more steps and bumped into someone. i turned around, it was a guitar tech holding my guitar "ready to go man?" he asked "ummm, yeah?" umm, no? he shoved it in my hands "good luck bro" i looked up to see michelle and nicole talking, their arms around each other, cale was tuning guitars last minute, he looked up and gave me a "these idiots have no idea what they're doing" look. i smiled nervously. it probably came out as more of "i just puked in my mouth and i'm trying to swallow it back" look. i ran my fingers through my thin strip of hair, i could feel them shaking rapidly "fuck, guys i can't do this. i'm going to puke on to the crowd, i'm not ready, we're fucked. i'm going to go swallow a bottle of advil" i said quickly. brad put his hand on my shoulder "we can do this" but i saw the nervousness in his eyes. what the fuck am i doing? i'm supposed to be encouraging them! not freaking them out even more! i took a deep breath and stuck my fist out. neil and barry joined us, we all touched fists "we're gonna kick ass guys, i know we are. we know these songs, we know how to work a crowd, it's just another show, it's just another show" if it was just another show, why was there a record executive out there? i shook my head to clear the thought. i felt nicole come up beside me "you guys are gonna kick some ass" she said smiling encouragingly at us, she even smiled at neil. soon, everyone had joined in, cale, rhonda, heather, michelle and janin "on three, three days grace" said barry "one, two, three" he counted down "THREE DAYS GRACE!" we all cried out. nicole kissed me on the cheek "i'll be here when you get back" she said smiling at me. i nodded and took my steps toward the stage. everything seemed to go in slow motion. i could feel the vibe from the crowd, my fingers weren't shaking anymore, i was ready. neil stepped up to the drums, and started on some beats, barry joined him with some guitar distortions. the crowd cheered wildly. my lips broke into a small smile. me and brad where the last ones to step on to the dark stage.... i walked up to the mic, and plucked a few notes on my guitar. a light flashed on me, a roar from the crowd erupted, i couldn't see anyone, but i knew how many there where. i brought my lips to the microphone "TORONTO! are you ready????!!!"