"Ang, breathe. In, out... that's it... in... out..." "Eff off." "Now now, Ang, that isn't the attitude we are looking for in this exercise... in... out..." "EFF. OFF." "Gawd, take a chill pill already," Katie muttered, rolling her eyes at me. "I was just trying to help you with your stress problem." "I don't have a stress problem," I replied testily, through gritted teeth. "Uh, yeah, whatever." My left eye twitched as I watched her maunouver her body into an awkward position, which she called the 'Tree Position'. Right. Confusing beginning. Want an explanation? Katie had gotten a book on Yoga from her muggle dad. Uh huh. I cringed, too. "Hey, Ang, wanna- wooooah. Uh- Katie? What- What are you doing?" I could see Marlene cringing, too. "Yoga," she said calmly. Yeah, I thought it was odd, as you, the reader, might be thinking, to see Katie, prim puss of us all, to be doing something spiritual. It was... weird. "Muggle stuff," I added, grinning slightly, despite this annoying, angry feeling that was bubbling and slowly eating my gut at the pit of my stomach. Mmhm. "Yeah... uhhh," Marlene blinked, recovering, "Whatever. Ang, wanna come to the library with me? Lily reckons you need to get out of the Dorm." "I've been in here for five hours. That's it. That's less time than I sleep, isn't it?" Marlene raised her eyebrows. "Merlin, she's right. You are stressed." "IAMNOTSTRESSED." Katie and Marlene snorted as one. "C'mon, Ang... you don't even have to talk to Remus..." Marlene wheedled, tugging at my shirt like a little kid. I glared at her. She backed off. "You do need some air. You're skin is going grey. Yuck." "Thanks, Katie." "Any time," she said mildly, not really giving her full attention to me any more, focusing on the ends of her hair while managing to stay upright in the 'Tree Position'. "So? Are you coming?" Marlene asked impatiently, shifting her bag on her shoulder. She looked like an overgrown child, whining. I could just imagine what a child of hers would look like. I bit my tounge, considering. I had been in my room all day, letting off steam by venting my anger out on pillows, tripping over things, breaking things, yelling at people, yelling at Marlene's teddies. I was in tears, I was completely torn, I was a corpse. I couldn't see any meaning to life, and I was so damn confused. I was wounded. Remus liked Julia, but didn't like Julia, and sorta liked me, but not enough to actually be with me, and my anger kept getting the better of me, and I couldn't stand seeing him with anyone else, and Paul was just another person, and I couldn't love him, couldn't love him, not like Remus, and I hated him, hated him so much, I felt like sobbing, crying my guts out, stabbing Julia, and just holding onto Remus, clutching him as if my whole damn life depended on it... "Yeah, sure," I said lightly in response to Marlene, grabbing my bag, "I need a laugh." Her face relaxed. That's the thing about Marlene- you can't really tell that she's stressed until she relaxes. I was not stressed. "C'mon then, lazy bones," she laughed, grabbing my wrist. She stopped. "Merlin, you've lost weight, too. Man, we need to fatten you up. We'll stop off at the kitchens, too." I rolled my eyes. It was going to be a long library visit. "Right, here, let's go look in the Muggle books for you-" "Why do I need to look in the Muggle books?" "For a nice, big book on Stress." "Marlene..." "What? Look! Here's a good one-" "That's about Dresses. Not Stress." "Well... that's your task, then! Find a book on Stress. I'll be over in the Transfiguration section, waaaay over there. See in half a cup, 'k?" "Yeah. Whatever," I said grumpily, watching Marlene skip over, strawberry blond hair bouncing in curls down her back as she went. I felt a short pang of envy, glared at my boring hair, and set off, looking through the shelves of muggle books, only the faintest of what I was looking for. I would get the book, chuck it at Marlene, then hightail it out of there. That sounded like a good idea. People and their Places, Ancient Eygpt, Snorkling and the Things You Need to Watch, STRESS, and how to deal- Aha. A thick, thick lime green book with bright pink letters stood out so brightly, I wondered why I hadn't seen it before. I paused. I wasn't really stressed. I mean, what was even the point of getting the book? It wasn't as if I was going to be reading it. I stared at it. Fought a silent battle with it. "FINE!"I yelled, snatching the book off the shelf. Stupid Marlene... stupid stress....
"ANGELLEI ANDREWS!!!!!!!"
Uh oh.
A vulture-like woman skidded around the corner, face livid, spit flying
from her bony jaw. "MAN HANDLING MY BOOKS!! YOU CHILD OF DIRT, OUT!!
OUT!!!!!"
"I was just-"
"OUTTTTT!!!"
"Relax, Madam Pince, your highness. She's with me."
"You?" Pince spat, eyes bulging in disbelief, "You, who
brings dungbombs, stink pellets, into this sacred place of mine-"
"Ah, yes, some woman do find my charms overwhelming, I do agree. Now,
if you'll stand aside..."
Pince's eyes raked over the tall figure of Sirius Black, who was
standing there, this smirk plastered on his face like a monkey who had just
done a fabulous trick in front of his master.
"I am afraid, Black, that your 'charms' have no subject in this
matter-"
"Ah, but they do, my dear," Sirius corrected, patting her arm
sympathetically. She looked like she was sucking on a wasp. "You see, I agreed
to talk to Angellei, here, after so many days of ignorance from myself,
and she... well. You saw how she deals with her delight in such
matters. You just can't predict what will happen with woman, can you, eh?" he
finished with a smooth wink in her direction.
Madam Pince hesitated for a moment, looking unsure. After what seemed
like a lifetime, with me clutching the neon book of STRESS to my chest,
she gave a hearty sniff. "Very well, then," she said stiffly, "Black,
see to it that Andrews behaves herself."
"Wouldn't dream otherwise," he said smoothly, cracking his fingers. She
turned on her heel, looking very much like a vulture, and stormed off.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Sirius snatched the book out of my arms.
"Stress, Andrews?" he drawled, observing the title with a broad smirk,
"My my, wouldn't have thought you to be the type... but then, neither
is Moony... and what is it to be causing my dear stress?"
"Nothing," I said tartly, grabbing the book back, "None of your
business."
I started to walk away, but his hand snaked out and grabbed my
shoulder, making me stumble back into his arms. I grimaced, dropping the book.
"Gerroff me."
"Nah. So, my dear, would you care to tell me why you and Moony aren't
together?"
"Bugger off," I said through gritted teeth, "It's none of your
business."
He quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, but it is. Remind me again why you broke up
once more, and why Moony is sulking?"
Sulking?
"Because," I said slowly, through gritted teeth, finally giving in,
"Remus kissed another girl in front of me and then came running back to
me. Happy?"
Sirius actually had the decency to look shocked. "Really? Ouch."
I twisted out of his grip and swooped down to pick up the book. "Bye."
He didn't follow me. I barely looked at Marlene as I passed her, shoved
the book at her, and stormed from the library. Sirius made me soo...
ugh. He was a jerk. That was it.
I went up to my windowsill and sat. For... about an hour. I didn't own
a watch. I had been meaning to find one for a while, but... yeah, never
got 'round to it.
So, there I sat, for about an hour, almost falling off and screaming my
head off for ten of those minutes, singing badly to myself, trying to
write on the outside of the castle with my fingernail, chewing on my
sleeve and thinking up random insults to throw at the Marauders. Ohhh,
what fun I had, thinking of such, killing my nails and sleeves and ears.
Mmhm.
Not.
Beause, of course, a certain someone wouldn't get the hell out of my
head.
"GO AWAY, REMUS!! AWAY!! SHOOOOO! OUT. OF. MY. HEAD! LEMMEALONE!!!!!"
"Uh... Angellei?"
"ROOOOOAR!!! GOOOO! AWWWAY! ROOOOOAR!"
"Angellei?"
"LALALLALALLALALALA!! SEE?!!! I'M NOT PAYING ATTENTION, SO YOU MIGHT'S
WELL- oh. Hi, Paul."
"What are you doing up so high? It's dangerous. Come down."
I tried to frown at the angelic face that hovered below me, but all my
facial muscles seemed to melt into a smile, a sort of dazed look.
Veela.
"But- oh. All right. Fine."
I scooted to the edge, and sort of half fell, half jumped down, to the
sill below me, and through the window, stumbling into Paul's arms.
Sigh.
"Hello," he said, smiling that sort of half smile that he usually wore
in my presence. I gave a goofy kind of grin, not moving. We stood there
for a moment, in silence, before I realized that I still had the grin
on my face. I quickly wiped it off.
"How are you, then?" I asked, my cheeks heating up.
"Well, thank you. And you?"
"Smashing, cheers."
He gave a warm smile and slowly moved his head forward to kiss me. My
lips slowly molded into a lazy. Evvverything was going to be all
right.... Remus wasn't-
Remus.
I pulled back, feeling my cheeks go a brilliant red.
"What is the matter, Angellei? Are you ill?"
Paul's concerned face hovered down to me. I stared up, eyes wide. "Oh-
uhm- no- nothing, really." I gave a shaky laugh. "Nothing."
The frown changed to a smile once more. I made him smile. Eee.
"Good," was all he said, before he started kissing me again.
Remus' face floated to my mind, mouthing the word 'Veela' once more.
Pah. Guys can't be Veelas....
But their mums can.
I pulled back again. There was no doubt about it- a full on frown cased
his face.
"Paul, is your mum a Veela?"
Silence.
It hadn't meant to come out that way.
"Does it matter?" he asked carefully, searching my face.
That was a good point.
I managed a feeble smile. "No, not really. I'm just curious, is all."
He smiled again. "Yes, she is, Angellei," he said simply, holding my
cheek carefully, as if I were made of china, "But that does not matter to
you?"
"No. It doesn't. Not really."
He gave a half smile. It was like rain and shine. "Good. I was worried,
for a moment."
Remus wasn't lying.
Bugger.
He kissed me again, and I didn't stop him. Remus' face drifted into my
mind, but I ruthlessly pushed it away. He was off snogging Julia, why
couldn't I go off and snog Paul?
We stood there, where anyone could see us, for aboooout half an hour,
before he reluctantly pulled away. "I'm afraid I must go and study now,
Angellei," he said, smiling slightly "Are you sure you'll be fine?"
I smiled, but Remus' face loomed into vision.
And, I blame my complete lack of awareness due to the fact that I had
just been thouroughly snogged, for my brilliant speaking skills next.
"Oh- you know- my exboyfriend... he's kinda getting a bit... um...
pushy, you could say..."
"What? Who is this ex boyfriend you speak of?"
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. "Um... you know Remus
Lupin?"
"The boy who stays in the library?"
"Yeah, kinda."
He wore an intense frown. "I will speak to him about it."
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