Secrets of the Moon [Marauders Fic] Chapter 68. [Remus]

"Truffles. Look- my leg is fine- I can sort it out myself-"

Yeah, but you'll only do it halfway.. And this is a pretty deep cut, I thought in my mind.

I didn't respond out loud as I kept on healing her bleeding scratch (or seven) from Truffles.

She was the last person I was expecting to see, but she was there. Somehow, that always seemed to happen.

"I could've done that myself," Ang murmured, rubbing her leg where the cut had been.

I didn't respond and just went back to my chair, picking up my book. Though, I couldn't read. My mind was whirring with too many thoughts. In my peripheral vision, I noticed Ang slowly walk around and stop in front of my seat, sitting down before me. "Uhm... thanks, though... anyway.."

I smiled lightly as I turned a page for the effect that I wasn't just staring blankly. And, I definitely hoped she couldn't see everything that was stirring just behind my eyes. "You're welcome."

She's got Paul. You should just leave. Leave temptation.

Leave the girl you're still in love with.

Yeah.

But something was gluing me to the spot. Some unknown force that didn't want to let me just walk away and forget it all.

Silence.

"So... uhm.... how's- how's life, then?" she asked softly, crossing one leg over the other.

I cocked my head slightly, thinking of the best answer.

Well, you know, I'm completely confused and still in love with you-

Yeah. That'd go over great.

Tell her you love her when she likes someone new. You're supposed to be happy for her... Remember..?

"Good," I eventually replied, "You?"

"Yeah, it's- would you look at me, please?" Ang asked abruptly, frowning at me. "It's really frustrating having to talk to someone and not see their eyes."

I smiled quickly at the memory of her saying that before, and looked up, staring fully into her eyes.

I wanted to drown in them. The depth. The color. Julia's were nothing compared to hers... She didn't look away.

Slowly, I closed my book. "So.. You're-"

"Yes?"

".... No... it's nothing. Don't worry," I replied, shaking my head slowly.

Be happy for her. Don't ask questions, the voice in my head reminded me.

"Tell me."

".... It's just-" I was going to just ask. Just a tiny, tiny question. Nothing special. "-I was just wondering how you and Paul were going... as a friend, I mean, asking another friend," I added quickly onto the end.

Friends.

Ang went still. Quiet.

Yeah, so she was already sorta quiet.. Just. An eery calm, almost.

"Um... okay," she replied, biting her bottom lip and not returning my gaze. Okay. Okay could mean bad, couldn't it? "And.. er... how are- how are you and- and Julia, going?"

Did she think Julia and I were a couple?

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

We were just... Er, friends? Study friends?

Yeah. Good friends. She just needed a bit help studying. That's all. Right...?

Well, that's what I was going to go for. It was something I liked to call 'the truth.'

"Me and..? Oh- um- we're not- exactly- a couple..."

"Oh."

An awkward silence.

I was becoming far too familiar with those once again.

That was when the thought passed back through my mind. Why was she on the floor? Did she suppose I had cooties? Because, I surely didn't..

"You don't have to sit on the floor, you know," I muttered, a small smile, as I kept my eyes level with the ground.

"Um- no- I'm fine- thanks."

I arched an eyebrow and shrugged. "Okay, then."

A moment later, without thinking, I slid down onto the floor, sitting beside her.

My heart rate got a little quicker. Just like it had when I was near her earlier, fixing up her leg. I could feel the heat rising from the bottom of my stomach, threatening to spill out, shoot through my pores, and urge me to grab hold of her.

But, I kept control.

Ignored it.

Completely ignored the fact that she wasn't looking me in the eyes. Sorta. Not really.

"What're you doing?" she asked, wide-eyed.

"I felt guilty sitting up on a chair when you were down here. It's not a problem is it?" I asked , making sure I wasn't crossing any friend boundaries.

Were they the same boundaries you were supposed to have with an ex? That you still loved...? Ah, girls..

"Oh- um- no-"

I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Drinking her in as if it were my last time to ever see her. Well, soaking her in through her eyes, that was.

Which was hard, considering she was looking everywhere else but me. It was also quite annoying. I sorta understood where she was coming from now.

"Nice night gown, by the way."

Her cheeks flushed pink.

Could she-? What if-? No.. It was the fire. That's what was making it so warm in there. Yeah..

Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed her chin gently. So close I could pull her to me and kiss her-

No.

"I'd like it if you looked at me," I said, a small chuckle. Ang finally looked up at me, and I was sinking all over again.

Like the first time I melted in those eyes of hers. I just couldn't tear my eyes away. Soon enough, my smile faded and I dropped my hand, resisting the urge to run it through my hair.

What were you thinking?! You can't do that... She's not yours. You can't do that. You're not allowed to touch her, you idiot. I was getting sucked in. And that wasn't a good thing. I'd kill myself from all the thoughts whirring through my brain at that moment.

"I should probably go to bed, right now- I'll- see you tomorrow," I stammered, starting to get up.

But, with one quick motion, Ang had grabbed my hand, pulling me back down, me completely confused, and pressed her lips to mine.

It was that wonderful feeling all over again. The feeling I got anytime she grabbed my hand- hugged me- kissed me. Just looked at me.

But, it was multiplied now. Magnified.

I pulled away slowly, staring into those clear eyes of hers, only centimeters away. Merlin... My head began to shake, slowly but surely.

"I can't- Paul-"

"Do you regret it, Remus?" she asked, cutting through me, voice so soft it was barely audible.

"I.. I-" I paused.

Words were supernumerary at that point.

My hand reached up and touched her face, and I kissed her again. If there was a time for fireworks to go off, this was it, in my opinion.

"Please tell me that answers your question," I sighed, as I pulled away and sat against the bottom of my chair.

"Er- yeah- yeah, I think it does..."

Maybe I shouldn't have done that...

"Well, then.. why did you break it off?"

I looked up slowly. "Because I thought you wanted it to end-"

"Last time I checked, I didn't tell you that," she muttered under her breath.

"- And.. Just, I thought it would've been so much easier for you... I wanted you to be happy..."

"Remus, I can take care of myself," she said, a stern tone in her voice.

"I know that," I replied quietly, looking her in the eyes once again. "I just.. You know that I-"

"Worry about me?" she supplemented for me.

"Yes," I sighed. This didn't seem to be going the right way.

She paused.

"Remus, I appreciate that.. I really do.. Just, I don't need you to take care of me-"

"I know you don't. But Gordy-"

"Gordy's backed off! Yeah, I'm still bloody freaked to go near him if I catch a glance of him, but he can't do this forever, can he?! No-"

"You do know that he knows we broke up...?"

"Oh.. he.. does?"

"Yes. After you walked away I found a letter at my feet from him. Rubbing it in my face," I murmured.

"Oh. Well, maybe it was for the best then! He- He doesn't seem to have a problem with Paul!"

She was standing by now, practically pacing, facing me fiercely when she mentioned Paul.

That stung. So, you couldn't necessarily blame me when I grumbled under my breath, "No one could hate him, after all.."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ang almost growled, staring me down.

I looked up at her from the ground, shaking my head as I stood. "Nothing.."

She marched up to me, fire in those eyes. And I don't mean the reflection from the fireplace. No.

But, why was she defending him? She barely knew him!

He was just going to hurt her... She didn't deserve to be hurt anymore. Or at all, for that matter.

"No. What did you just say?"

"Fine. I said that no one could hate him, after all.."

"After what? What're you going on about, Remus?!"

"Ang, I don't want to argue with you. Besides, we need to be quiet anyway. We might wake everyon-"

"I don't care if anyone wakes because of me!" she fumed, throwing her hands up in the air. "Why're you being so complicated?! What did Paul ever do to you? You have Julia, anyway!"

I turned my back to her, pointing my wand in the direction of the dorms, and muttering a spell to sound-proof the Common Room before whipping back around.

"Now, if you want to yell, go ahead and yell," I said, my face blank.

She huffed a breath, mouth wide open at me as if she'd just been slapped across the face. "Fine. If you want me to yell, I'll yell," she smirked coolly. "WHAT DID YOU SAY JUST A MINUTE AGO?! WHAT'S BLOODY WRONG WITH PAUL?!"

I winced slightly. "I didn't say anything. I just want you to be careful around him, okay? Please?"

"Why should I?! He's a great guy! He's a gentleman, and he's- He knows art! And- What'd you happen to find out that could possibly be wrong with him?!"

"Who just happens to be part veela..."

Ang paused. Her mouth opened, closed, and opened again. "You're such a liar... I can't believe you, of all people, who make up something like that just to try and prove me wrong!"

"Ang, do you really think that I'd make something like that up?" I asked incredulously. "I understand that you don't want me looking out for you, but really, I'd never-"

"Just stop it, Remus. You've said enough."

I could only watch, open-mouthed, as she stormed past me, getting half-way up the stairs before tripping and falling on her face. I, unknowingly, stepped forward a few feet. She climbed back up to her feet, coughing slightly, and went up the rest of the stairs and through her dorm door with a dignified manner.

I just slumped back in the chair, running a hand through my hair, as I realized I'd probably blown it all together. Forever.

Why did I tell her Paul was part veela? She could take care of herself... She probably didn't care in the first place.

It was just something else I could say to make her hate me more. The, yeah I'll admit it, jealousy talking.

Brilliant.

"So, I heard some noises during the night last night. Down in the Common Room. Maybe from the girls' dorms," Sirius commented, supressing a certain look. "And, then once I came back from the loo, I definitely heard a buzzing in my ears. And couldn't hear anything outside the dorm door. At all. Oh, and your bed was empty..."

"What're you getting at, Padfoot?" James went ahead and asked, as we all kept walking to the Great Hall.

"Ahem. The only person that I know that could cause such a ruckus, is Ang. And, wherever we find an Ang late at night, we can usually find a Remus. So, what happened?"

"We just talked," I smiled, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"It must've been something a little louder than talking for you to try and silence the room."

"We just.. had a few words with one another. And, she decided to yell. And, I decided to tell her that Paul was part veela-"

"Which she needed to know," James cut in.

"Yes... And, she freaked out on me. I shouldn't've pushed her towards the point that got her angry with me."

They were silent.

"What about Julia?" Padfoot asked, turning and looking at me, putting a hand on my shoulder. James came into view in front of me, completing the circle, Peter on the other side.

"What about her...?" I asked.

"How's she doing? You two seem to have a lot in common- Maybe you should give her a chance, you know? She's sweet and all, and- Are you sure you want breakfast? I'm not that hungry-"

His voice had gotten way too quick. Well, just enough for me to notice. That was an automatic thing to realize if he was trying to pull something off about one of us. Or, something. He tried turning me back around.

"I can smell the food, Sirius," I chuckled, "I'm not leaving now. You can sit there while I eat- I'm starved-"

"Y'know, I'm not hungry either. Maybe we can- Oh, er.. Remus, would you come with me to the Library real quick? Maybe Julia'll be there-"

I slipped out of their grip and stood before them, my eyes wandering around before landing on what I knew they didn't want me to see.

Paul and Ang. He was holding her hand, talking, and she was just listening. But, I just happened to catch her glance (of course) when she looked around. Immediately after that, she turned her head back to Paul, and smiled.

He got hold of her other hand, and she moved closer, beaming up at him as they talked, just to the left of the Great Hall doors.

"Well," I said, turning back around, smiling. "If you two were lying about being hungry, which I'm sure you were, then I'll be going to eat with just Peter. I'm famished."

"Moony, are you?-"

"Fine, James," I grinned. "It's not like we're together. She can do whatever she wants."

"Er.. right," he murmured, as we walked on towards the vast room.

I may've been acting like I didn't mind, but I couldn't ignore the feeling of a monster lurching in my stomach as I passed them, his face wayyy too close to hers. I didn't want to know what would happen next.

But, Ang came in, as bright and cheerful as ever when she plopped down a few seats away, between Marlene and Lily (who were obviously going to sit across from Sirius and James).

"Good morning," she grinned, grabbing up food. "Hey, Remus, could you pass the eggs?"

"Sure," I smiled blandly as I picked up the bowl and reached across and down the table to her, holding her gaze a little longer than necessary before letting go.

Yeah. Like I didn't care.