When Killing Him Just Doesn't Work :1:

So as I already told you, I got in a car accident and I don't remember anything after that. I woke up in a coffin and now I'm really freaking out. When screaming didn't do anything I started to kick and push in hopes of getting out. It seemed to be working really well too, the cover of the coffin was budging but in seeped dirt and lots of it. I squeezed my way out of the very small space I had created and closed my eyes as I clawed my way up. I used the hard coffin below me to kick myself up but being only 5'2 was stunting my chances at getting out of the my six feet under situation. Still I didn't let that stop me and I jabbed my hands up to find the icy winter breeze hitting them. This was all I needed and miraculously I got out of the death trap. As I panted from exhaustion I looked up from my hands and knees to see a man in a leather jacket looking down at me.

"Tough luck, looks like you can't satisfy your necrophiliac needs tonight, Bud," I say getting up and trying to brush out of my eyes. The man remained silent as he stared at me.

"I'm serious, leave, I don't need to worry about some possible rapist, did you not just see me come out of that grave? Maybe God's playing a cruel joke on you, or maybe he's toying with me," I say looking at the grave stone.

Delilah Gabrielle McMillen

Beloved Daughter and a Dear Friend

"You're immortal, Delilah," the man says.

"Oh give me a break," I say rolling my eyes.

"Then how do you explain this," he says.

"Very logically actually," I state.

"Well let's hear it," he says amused.

"I know I got in a car accident because I lost control when hundreds of plastic whore dolls flew out the back of a semi on the highway. So my car must have caught on fire, thus catching the dolls on fire which were probably made from some material that was not approved, which caused them give off some sort of fume that causes the heart rate to slow down at such a rate that it appears that the person is dead, but they are really in a coma-like state," I say all in one breath.

"Isn't that a little far-fetched?" he says with a laugh.

"I don't think it is any more obtuse than immortality," I say stubbornly.

"I suppose," he says musing over your words.

"Well, I'm going to go creepy cemetery man who seems unruffled by the fact I just crawled out of my own grave," I say turning to leave.

"You can't go back to your family," he says grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

"You get your hands off me or I will cause you a considerable amount of pain," I warn.

"I'm sure I'll recover, come on we've got to get out of here," he says.

"No," I say plopping down on the ground.

"Don't be irrational," he says annoyed.

"I'm a woman, therefore entitled to be irrational," I say.

"I didn't want to have to do this," he says pulling out a pocket knife and revealing its sharp little blade. He kneeled down beside me.

"What do you think you are doing?" I demand while I squirmed under his death grip. He pressed the blade against the palm of my hand until it made a cut. I began bleeding as any other person would have predicted. He let go of me and I kicked him where the sun don't shine causing him that great deal of pain I promised.

"You crazy son of a bitch, do you take sick pleasure in hurting tramatized girls?" I say as I kicked him hard in the kidneys as he was holding his bits and pieces. I looked down at my hand and noticed the cut was gone. I stood there gawking at the spot where I had been cut.

"Are you done beating me?" the guy says standing up and brushing himself off.

"Alright Hoodini how'd you do it?" I say.

"What? You are unbelievable, you know that?" he says incredulously.

"Seriously buddy you are walking on thin ice with me," I warn as he inched near me.

"I give up," he sighs then in one swift movement I was unconcious and unaware where I was being taken.