Today was supposed to be the dance. She hadn’t even wanted to go in the first place and probably wasn’t going to go at all. Her dress hung untouched in her closet, a silent smack in the face.
“Rose?”
“Who is it?”
“Slughorn.”
“It’s unlocked.”
He found her curled in the corner of the bed, knees to chest.
“What’s wrong?”
His smile was instantly replaced by a look of concern.
“Hmm? Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me. Severus is in the mood from hell and taking it out on any student that gets in his way and you’re holed up in here crying.”
“I’m not crying!”
And she burst into tears. Damn. So much for that. He took a seat next to her, just like last night and silently slung a comforting arm around her.
“What happened?”
“He’s-he’s such an ass!”
“I know. Go on.”
“Well, when I went down he was acting like he was giving me detention and then just kissed me out of the blue, fucking with my mind and when I accused him of screwing with it he said he’d like to screw with more than that!” she said breathlessly before breaking back into sobs.
“Rose, Rose, Rose. Shhh.”
She bawled for what seemed like hours in his arms. She had never even been the type to cry and here she was, like a little child with their first skinned knee, crying her eyes out like there’s no tomorrow.
“There, there, deary. Come on now. Dry those eyes.”
It took her a few minutes to finally calm down.
“Now, that’s better. All I can say is he’s an insensitive man like all the rest, but he does care about you. Oddly enough I think that was his way of showing it.”
“I don’t care. He should never have said that!”
“Yes, yes. I agree, but Severus has…a different…way with words. He’s blunt beyond reason and sarcastic as all hell.”
“Trust me I know. I’ve been on the receiving end of his words more than once.”
“Which you should’ve never had to endure. I’ll speak with him about this and-“
“No. I don’t want to talk to him, I don’t want to hear his voice, and I definitely don’t want to see his freaking smirking face!”
“I understand completely. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want.”
What would she do with out Slughorn? At least she knew someone wouldn’t force her into anything. Slughorn took her chin in one of his hands and made her look him in the eye.
“Tell me really what you think of him.”
She wanted to pull away, but felt like she couldn’t.
“I-I don’t know! I hate him and-and ugh!”
“You still feel something for him.”
She shook her head violently.
“How many times do I have to ask you not to lie to me?”
She looked ashamed and dropped her gaze.
“I-I’m not sure how I feel yet. He’s just always been such an ass to me, but when we were shopping and…and there was something we had in common, he wasn’t so horrible.”
“Another love/hate relationship,” he sighed and released her chin. “You’re both too stubborn and temperamental for one another. I wonder if you’d ever be put into this situation if your father hadn’t forced it on you.”
The tears welled in her eyes at the mention of him, but she held them back.
“But somehow, some way, you can make it work.”
“No, no we can’t.”
“Yes, you can. If you two would only communicate better.”
He shook his head and got up.
“Come on. Get in the shower and dressed for the dance. I’ll be back in an hour.”
Rose crossed her arms defiantly.
“I’m not going.”
“Oh, yes, you are.”
She shook her head. He simply gave her a smile.
“I can and will make you get in the shower and dressed. Don’t test me, Riddle.”
Something in his voice told her not to fight him any longer on the subject. Reluctantly, she rose from the bed and got into the shower leaving Slughorn to work things out with Snape.
Some time later Slughorn came back as promised. Rose was dressed and her hair was done up.
“Ready? You look stunning by the way.”
She nodded reluctantly, dreading having to go.
“Thanks,” she muttered and took his offered arm.
The hall was done up with pale sparkling crystals despite the warm weather outside. The fading light from the sunset made the crystals glow. The charmed ceiling mirroring the actual sunset perfectly.
“If it’s any consolation to you, you gave him a bruise he won’t soon forget.”
She giggled and released his arm.
“Good. He definitely deserved it.”
Slughorn winked and walked off, leaving her helplessly lost in a crowd of people. After several minutes of panic, she found her way off the dance floor and to a table in the corner.
“Wow. Hello beautiful.”
She looked up, ready to chew someone out, but came face to face with Blaise.
“Hey,” she whispered flushing.
“If you get any redder you’ll match your dress.”
She tried to hide her embarrassment.
“Hmm. One shade darker and it’s perfect.”
His smile always did a funny thing to her stomach and now was no exception, especially as he sat down next to her. The perfect revenge. He was like one of those drugs that you couldn’t stop after doing it just once. You always craved one more hit and Rose was craving one hard. She wanted Snape hurt and she wanted to use Blaise to do it.
“So, do you like being a wall flower? Because it’s fine if you do. I just wanted to know if you’d like to dance.”
“I think I’d like that, a lot actually.”
She took his hand and let him sweep her onto the dance floor. Somehow this felt really good, but she’d probably regret it in the morning, well, all the more reason to enjoy it now. Her eyes swept over the room as they spun, but she couldn’t find Snape. And she’d wanted so badly to see the look on his face, too.
“Why don’t we go somewhere quieter?”
She nodded and let him place his hand along her waist and guide her out. The halls were deserted and their footsteps echoed off the stone.
“So…”
He cut her off, forcing his lips onto hers.
“Blaise!”
Rose shoved him off, turning her head away from him.
“What? I really like you,” he whispered in her ear as he stroked the few stray strands of her hair from her face.
She unconsciously backed into the wall and began to panic when she realized she had nowhere else to run.
“B-Blaise. Look I like you too, but I just c-can’t do anything like this…I’m not ready.”
“Oh come on now.”
He pressed against her, claiming her lips once more. His hand strayed to the simple spaghetti strap holding her dress up and slid it down her shoulder.
“Stop, please.”
He didn’t back down and a cold wave of fear washed over her. She knew she wasn’t strong enough to stop him and he obviously wasn’t going to stop of his own accord. His lips trailed down her neck and she wanted to scream, but he suddenly covered her mouth.
“Nuh uh. No screaming.”
Her eyes grew wide as she began to really panic. He wouldn’t… would he? She struggled beneath his grip, but couldn’t free herself, she was simply too small and weak. His fingers tugged on her zipper. He was really going to do this… She closed her eyes, wanting it all to end. She wished she’d never been so stupid. Why hadn’t she listened to Snape and Slughorn when they told her he was no good?
She opened her eyes to find him lying against the opposite wall, knocked unconscious. Her knees gave way and she slid to the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and sobbing heavily. Snape walked out of the shadows. His face was hard set with indifference. He kneeled by her side, taking her jaw in one of his hands, and making her look at him. His eyes softened for a brief moment before they returned to the cold, hollow things they’d always been. He released her, turning away and standing back up.
Rose couldn’t stop the tears and seeing Snape hurt worse than anything else. She’d done this to herself trying to hurt him. All she’d wanted was to see the look on his face and maybe make him a little jealous, not almost get raped.
“Can you walk to the headmaster’s office?”
“Y-Yes,” she choked out before rising to her wobbly feet.
He threw Blaise over his shoulder and, as if it was an after thought, wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Her tears kept falling the whole way to Dumbledore’s office. She felt horrible for what she’d done. If she wasn’t so petty and childish…
Snape let go of her and tossed Blaise on the couch as if he’d done this a hundred times before. Dumbledore stepped in a minute later. He’d obviously just come from the dance.
“Severus, you saw him?”
“Of course.”
“Take a seat, both of you.”
Dumbledore’s deep blue eyes locked onto me.
“Are you all right Rose? Did he hurt you at all?”
“I’m o-o-ok. No, he didn’t hurt me,” she whispered between sobs.
Snape got up and zipped the back of her dress up for her, letting his hand linger on her shoulder for a moment in an attempt at what she guessed was comforting her.
“But he would’ve.”
Dumbledore gave Blaise’s unconscious form a look of disgust.
“C-can I go, please?”
“Severus, escort her back to her dorm. Make she she’s in her room before you leave.”
Snape inclined his head slightly and walked out with her. They walked in silence the whole way to the common rooms. He finally spoke when they made it into her room.
“Will you be okay alone?”
She thought for a moment before nodding.
“You’re sure?”
“Y-yes.”
He studied her face before nodding and turning to leave.
“Professor.”
“Hmm.”
He turned back around and sat next to her on the bed.
“I-I-I’m so sorry,” she whispered, unsure if he could even hear her.
“For what?”
“I should’ve listened to you and-“
She burst into tears, unable to finish. He looked at her for a few moments before wrapping an arm around her. He was obviously awkward and horrible with words, so he chose not to speak at all. Hopefully his actions would show her how he felt. Eventually she calmed down and he stopped her when she tried again to apologize.
“I think you’ve learned your lesson. Get some sleep. I’ll check on you later.”
“Thank you, sir. For everything.”
He gave a slight nod and studied her once more before turning to leave. He stopped at the door, turning around once more.
“I’ll be back in a little while. I can stay if you’d like then.”
Her eyes softened. That was quite possibly the kindest gesture he’d ever made.
“Thanks, sir.”
“Don’t mention it.”
He left her to change and crawl under the covers. She was totally exhausted, but wanted to be awake when Snape came back for some reason. He’d saved her and for that she was more grateful than he’d ever know.
The door opened slowly, revealing his dark form.
“You should be asleep,” he said frowning at her.
“I couldn’t.”
She was a bit ashamed at staying awake now. He sat on the edge of her bed, looking her over.
“You’re sure he didn’t hurt you? You don’t want to go to Madame Pomfrey?”
“No, I’m fine.”
This earned her a slight nod. He didn’t speak or move for a brief period of time, probably in thought. Finally he unhooked the cape of his robe and pulled of the jacket, laying them on the arm chair. He looked odd in only a shirt and vest, especially since the shirt was white and she’d only ever seen him in black.
Rose crawled over to him and curled up next to him. She offered him some blanket and to her surprise he accepted.
“You scared the crap out of me tonight.”
She turned away, trying to hide her face. She felt horrible about everything. Why had she done it? Why was she so stupid? His hand pulled her face to his so she had to look him in the eyes.
“I forgive you. I understand…why…you did what you did.”
She nodded and he released her and slung an arm around her shoulders again.
“I still never should’ve.”
He said nothing and let her lay against his chest. Soon her head was nodding and her eyes fluttering. He moved to lay her on the bed and she panicked.
“Don’t let me go.”
He said nothing and simply moved to the top of the bed and let her crawl back into his arms where she fell fast asleep.
Snape was awake already when Rose’s eyes fluttered open. He hadn’t left her like she’d half expected him to. She left his arms, pulling the blanket around her tighter. She’d never quite gotten used to the chill of the dungeons, especially in the mornings.
“Good morning,” she eyed him shyly.
He simply nodded and got off the bed, pulling his coat back on.
“Are you feeling better?”
She nodded, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes.
“Thanks…for staying, sir.”
He grunted and took a seat in the arm chair. She almost felt like laughing. Half of his hair was sticking up.
“What?”
His eyes suddenly turned to her. He must have noticed her staring.
“Your hair,” she gestured, trying to show him it was all messed up on the side.
He smoothed it down, giving her an odd look the whole time. She’d already pulled hers back into a ponytail and didn’t have to worry about it looking funny. Rose couldn’t stand his intense gaze and lay back in her bed, staring at the ceiling. It wasn’t even time for breakfast yet. Why on earth was she up already? She couldn’t even get herself up this early for school, though that would eliminate many of her detentions for tardiness. Still, her conscience was giving her crap. She felt horrible about hurting Snape. She wasn’t quite sure if she had, he was always so cold and emotionless.
The bed sunk to the side and jogged her from her reveries.
“Are you sure you’re feeling fine?”
His warm hand pressed gently on Rose’s forehead. She knew she didn’t have a fever and for the most part she felt physically fine. She’d washed Blaise’s touch from her skin in the shower last night and other than the bruise on her arm she was unharmed.
“Yes…Just in a thoughtful mood.”
“Don’t get lost in there then.”
He smirked as she smiled at him. She was more likely to get lost in those eyes than in her head.
“Hmm. I’ll try, sir.”
Snape’s hands trailed down to her wrist, flipping her arm over.
“He gave you this?”
She nodded, trying to pull her arm away, but Snape’s grip held. It wasn’t exactly nothing, but it wasn’t that bad.
“If he ever touches you again…”
The icy malice in his voice sent her skin crawling. She’d never seen him like this. I mean, she had seen him angry, but never openly so. It was like he wasn’t holding anything back. He’d said it with emotion, that’s what it was. She’d never really seen him give a damn about anything, but here was threatening someone over her.
“He won’t. I promise to stay as far away from him as I possibly can this time.”
His gaze shifted to her face and for the briefest second she could tell she’d succeeded in hurting him last night. It was nothing to be proud of and she felt like crying more than celebrating in her success.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered to no one in particular.
She didn’t fight him when he pulled her into his arms; in fact, she wrapped her arms around him. She wanted to comfort him as much as he wanted to do the same to her. He winced and she dropped her arms, moving back. He smiled wryly.
“The bruise you gave me, it’s still a little sore.”
“Oh.”
She blushed.
“How bad was it?”
To her surprise he removed his coat and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the pail, sun deprived skin beneath. A large dark spot in the shape of her fist stained the almost ghostly white skin on his chest.
“I’m really sorry about that.”
“You shouldn’t be. Trust me I deserved it.”
He buttoned the shirt back up, leaving the coat and vest off. The white of his shirt nearly matched his pallid skin. They sat in silence for a bit, Rose staring out the green porthole window that was in every room of the Slytherin dorms. They shown out to the black lake, but you could never see anything through them. The window was simply too old and cloudy, plus the lake’s naturally dark color didn’t help. She absent mindedly looked around and noticed Snape staring at her chest.
“Umm.”
“You’re wearing the ring.”
“You say that like I wouldn’t.”
Rose had kept the ring on a chain around her neck ever since people had begun to notice it on her finger. He shrugged and turned away.
“How much longer until breakfast?”
Her stomach had begun to complain about its lack of food.
“About twenty minutes.”
“You should probably go change.”
He shrugged, lying back on her bed, arms behind his head.
“Suit yourself. I’ll be out of the shower in a couple of minutes.”
He nodded. She rolled her eyes and walked over to her dresser, grabbed her things, and got in the shower. Snape was still lying on the bed as she’d left him when she came out of the shower.
“I’m fine if you want to leave and get ready.”
Yet again he shrugged and didn’t move. She finished brushing through her hair, stray drops of water flying everywhere. She had the most insatiable urge to wring out her sopping hair on Snape. His eyes were shut as she walked over silently. He grabbed her wrist before she could do it. Damn. His black eyes locked onto her green ones. She wasn’t sure what the look was, but instead of yelling or scolding her he pulled her on top of him.
“Next time I won’t be so nice.”
His words sent chills down her spine and she was aware of his hands on her waist. His lips touched hers gently, forcing nothing on her. She could pull away if she wished at anytime, but she didn’t. They broke apart, Rose’s breath caught in her throat. Her hair fell in her face as she sat up, but it was dry.
“You sneak.”
He smirked as she tucked it behind her ears.
“You looked like a drowning rat before and I had no desire to have your sopping head wrung out on me.”
She smirked back.
“I vote it’s time for breakfast.”
Snape sighed and pulled on his vest and coat before following her out. He really had no idea how grateful she was for him staying with her. The great hall was pretty much deserted. Most of the student body was still holed up with their dates from the dance or sleeping like rocks. All of the teachers were up and cheery though. Then again, they were always up and cheery now that she thought about it. She was the only one even at the Slytherin table, but it didn’t bother her in the least. She preferred not having to deal with Zac and the other idiot Slytherins.
She was surprised when Slughorn came and sat across from her.
“So, how are you feeling?”
“You heard?”
“Yes.”
“I’m okay, just a little shaken, but S- I’m better.”
He caught on immediately and smiled.
“As long as you’re okay.”
They ate in silence for a bit before he started a potions discussion yet again and they couldn’t stop once they’d started. Snape walked by to leave and stopped when he realize what they were talking about.
“If you add too much root of asphodel you can actually turn the potion bright pink which makes it deadly.”
They both looked up at him.
“And you’d know this how?”
He smirked.
“I was the potions master for a reason.”
“Well, come join in. Take a seat. It’s been ages since I’ve had a good discussion.”
To her surprise he took the seat next her and joined in. His eyes would occasionally wander over to her when she said something that made Slughorn red with delight. Slughorn was quite the odd man sometimes, but Snape seemed used to this. Well, Snape did have him as a teacher when he was in school.
“I think I’m going to go for a walk. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
She waved to them and strolled out to the lake. The sun warmed her skin as she took a seat on a rock by the lake. If only everyday could go so well. Her eye was caught by an eagle soaring in the distance. She didn’t notice Snape sit down next to her until his arm slid around her waist. She nearly fell over into the lake, but thankfully he caught her.
“You scared the crap out of me.”
Her arms were wrapped around his neck. He gave her his ever famous smirk. Awkwardly, she pushed herself off of him and moved from his lap.
“One more month.”
“What?”
“I graduate in a month.”
He nodded, eyes still focused on the lake. The silence between them grew and finally Rose couldn’t stand it anymore. She shoved him lightly and ran off toward the cliff that over hung the lake. When she looked back he was still sitting on the rock bewildered, but a small smile crept over his face before he took off after her. It was a desperate race up the slope. Rose had to clamber over several huge rocks with Snape right on her tail. Forgetting where she was she took off at the top and skidded to a halt at the edge, nearly falling over.
“Riddle.”
His deep voice cut across the distance between them. He stood staring at her, arms crossed, and face set.
“Come away from there.”
“Well, someone is in a grumpy mood all of a sudden.”
She couldn’t stop herself from saying it. He’d just been chasing her not even two minutes ago. What happened?
“You might fall. Quit being impossible.”
She sighed, rolling her eyes and walked over to him.
“I wouldn’t have fallen.”
“Don’t back sass me.”
She spotted a couple of students nearby. That explained the mood change.
“Yes, sir. Whatever keeps me out of detention.”
“That’s what I thought.”
She walked back to the castle with him and she went off to her common room. It was still deserted and quiet. No one was up yet and they probably wouldn’t be up until dinner time or later. She made her way to her room where she turned the radio up so she could sing and dance without being disturbed.
She’d fallen asleep and woke to a roaring fire in the hearth. Had she set one before she passed out? No, she hadn’t set one… She stretched and her foot bumped something on the edge of the bed, luckily she caught it before it fell. The small cardboard box had holes cut all through it and a soft rustling could be heard coming from it.
Cautiously, Rose opened the box and inside a tiny black kitten was curled around a card.
“Awww!”
She pulled the tiny cat from the box. It couldn’t have been more than a week or two old. Its large blue eyes stared blankly at Rose as it mewed softly. It crawled into her lap and curled up again. Absentmindedly she stroked the kitten as she opened the card:
Six Months
S.
S? Six months? What on earth? It hit Rose like a ton of bricks. It was her six month wedding anniversary. Oh crap. He’d remembered and actually gotten her something. She hadn’t even thought about it and definitely didn’t have anything for him yet.
Her kitten mewed softly and kneaded her leg.
“Shh, shh.”
Rose desperately tried to come up with something for him. The book she was reading when they’d actually gotten along. That was it! She could write a poem or something in it for him. He said he loved it. After about half an hour of searching Rose finally found the book. Now what to put in it? A random quote she’d loved from when she was younger seemed to jump up and hit her in the face. She grabbed a quill and wrote it in:
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
~James A. Baldwin
I think we’re growing up.
Six months & counting
R.
She hoped he’d like it and tied a simple bow around the book. He didn’t seem like the one who’d care about having an extravagant present…but then again she didn’t really know Snape all that well. So, kitten in one hand and book in the other she made her way down to his classroom. No one was inside and she tiptoed to his office. He wasn’t in there either. The last option was to try his rooms. She’d only ever been in there once and that was an act of total desperation.
