#19: Starvation

The kitchen; IZZY is examining the contents of the cupboard. AXL, SLASH and DUFF sit at the table, watching him. STEVEN enters the room, holding his stomach and groaning.
AXL
You okay, little man?
STEVEN
I think so...Izzy? Can we have some breakfast, please?
IZZY
I'm looking for it.
SLASH
What, are you playing hide and seek with your cornflakes? (snorts with laughter)
IZZY
No. There's no food left. I can't find anything that's actually edible. There's, uh...Duff's "apple"...(holds out a ball that looks like a bright green tennis ball)...Axl's Super Mousse...
AXL
And I've spat on that, Steven, so I wouldn't advise you eat it.
IZZY
What are we gonna do? There's no food, we don't get paid till tomorrow, and we're gonna starve to death. There's Duff's apple or tennis ball thing, but...
(AXL stands up, grabs the fruit/ball and shoves it into his mouth. It turns out it is an apple. He swallows it, looking uneasy.)
AXL
Bit furry....(sits down)
DUFF
Well, I was outside earlier, and I found some stuff we can eat! (runs into the living room and grabs a box. STEVEN sits down smiling.)
AXL
What did you find?
DUFF
A dead crow, yellow moss, grass and some creepy crawlies I put into a jar. Good health!
SLASH and AXL
Sounds great!
IZZY (sitting down)
So that's our meal for the night?
DUFF
Yup. I thought you could do insect soup for starters, then fry up the crow for the main course, and then we can have moss for dessert.
LATER
(IZZY puts a pan down on the table)
IZZY
Here you go.
AXL (lifting up the pain)
Well, it looks...
DUFF
....disgusting!
IZZY (spooning soup into their bowls)
Come on guys, be fair.
AXL (impaling a large brown thing with his fork)
What's this?
IZZY
A cockroach.
AXL
Oh, goodie! (takes a bite with a big crunching sound) Yum!
(They all start eating very slowly, apart from AXL, who actually likes it.)
AXL
Come on, guys! Live a little!
(IZZY puts down another pan and spoons out large lumps of a black....thing)
SLASH
And this is?
STEVEN
It might have been something my dog did a few days ago in the garden...
IZZY
Fried crow.
DUFF
It's been lying there for a while. I saw it when we had Axl's birthday party.
STEVEN
But that was two years ago.
DUFF
Well, okay then.
(They continue eating)
SLASH
Let's try dessert.
(IZZY hands out moss. Everyone doesn't eat, except AXL. He steals everyone's moss, eats it, and suddenly turns green. He stands up and vomits all over the kitchen table.)
STEVEN
Axl, are you okay?
AXL (clutching his stomach)
N-No!
(Everyone runs away into the living room while STEVEN cleans up AXL's sick. STEVEN then bins the fried crow and sees something in the fridge.)
STEVEN
Um, Axl?
AXL
Uh-huh?
STEVEN
Are you still hungry?
AXL
Yes.
STEVEN
Let's eat this big apple pie together then, okay?
(They both laugh and take out the apple pie.)