Never Forget the Most Important Rule: Don't Fall in Love With a Vampire [23]

I was laying on Rustan in his bed, my head resting on his chest. He had one arm securely fastened around the small of my back, and the other arm was softly stroking my arm, his fingertips grazing my skin and sending bursts of shivers down my spine. But the shivers also could have been from the fact that he was so cold; to make up for this, I had pulled the blankets snugly over us.

I felt his head shift so that he was looking down at me.

“Like what?” he asked. I noticed that his voice sounded different; it wasn’t ice cold and distant, for once.

“Well…this,” I said slowly, unsure of how to phrase my words. “Sneaking around. I mean, you’re sided with Lawrence. I’m a prisoner.”

“…So?”

I refrained from scoffing at his ignorance.

“Don’t you see anything wrong with this picture?” I asked. I pulled away from him and propped myself up on my elbows so I could see him properly.

He just shrugged, and then reached up and absentmindedly played with a strand of my hair.

“Not really,” he stated.

I don’t think he was really paying attention, because his expression was all but thoughtful. I watched as his eyes traveled over my face, and he allowed himself to smile slightly. The hand that was playing with my hair then moved to the back of my neck, and Rustan pulled me into a kiss.

I let myself kiss him back, but then I pulled away. Apparently this was sooner than Rustan wanted because he slightly frowned at me.

“I don’t see why this is such a big deal,” he said after a moment. “What exactly is wrong with this? It feels right to me.”

“I don’t think you get—“

But I was interrupted with another kiss. Typical of Rustan; I could never just have one kiss. One wasn’t enough for him.

I was growing increasingly impatient with him, so instead of kissing him back or even stopping him, I just waited for him to finish. He quickly grew bored with my lack of activity, so he let out a defeated sigh and then finally let me finish.

"As I was saying," I continued, "you don't get it. I can't stay here in this stupid mansion while Lawrence figures out what to do with me. And I can't stand watching you, as you get to walk around freely and do whatever you want because you sided with him."

He sighed again and then sat up, gently pushing me off of him. I think that he felt I ruined the moment, and he clearly didn't want to be talking about this.

"We're on two different sides, Rustan," I stated. I felt like I was spelling out the obvious now.

"We can't keep doing...whatever this is. We can't keep doing it if we're supposed to be enemies."

"So then what do you want me to do?" he suddenly snapped, his voice returning to its normal frosty tone.

"Tell Lawrence I changed my mind?"

"Well, have you changed your mind?" I demanded.

I still wasn't sure what to make of Rustan. Was he truly "evil," after all? Did he set me up and let me fall into this trap?

Or had be pretended all of it all along? Somewhere, deep inside, I hoped--no, I wished--that this was true. I wanted to pretend that Rustan had faked this whole thing, this whole set-up, to keep Foster and me safe. Maybe Rustan knew that siding with Lawrence was the only way to not get us all killed. Maybe he had a plan to save us.

Then again, there were so many reasons as to why this couldn't be true. Rustan aided in the destruction of D.a.r.c., and he killed hundreds of Agents--including Thez. That just wasn't right. Even if he was faking it, I don't think anyone that truly had a soul could have done that. Even if he tried to do it to convince Lawrence that he was really on his side...it was just too much.

I hadn't gotten the chance to ask him any of this yet. First of all, this was the first time I've spent time with him alone, so it's not like I really had the opportunity. But second of all, I didn't really want to know the true answer.

I was afraid that Rustan might not have been faking it. I just wanted to keep on pretending.

He didn't give me an answer right away. Instead he looked at me with a look in his eyes that indicated that he was mentally arguing with himself, trying to decide to tell me the truth or not.

"I don't...know," he finally murmured.

My mouth dropped open. How could he not know?! My patience was really reaching its limit.

"Fine," I stated, folding my arms. "But I'm not staying here. I want to leave. I need to get out."

He gave me an incredulous stare.

"Do you want to murder us all?"

"No, but if I stay here I know I'll die anyway. Lawrence said he has plans for me, and coming from a demon I know that's not a good thing. I might as well try to save myself, since no one else is going to help me."

I put an extra emphasis on 'no one else' to make it obvious I was talking about Rustan.

"What are you planning to do, run away?" he asked, his voice steadily getting louder.

"Yes," came my blunt reply.

"That's possibly the dumbest idea you've ever come up with, and that's saying something."

"Why are you so angry about it?" I countered defensively. "If you want to come, then you can. I'm not stopping you."

"That's not the point!"

He was yelling now. His face contorted in frustration, and I guess he couldn't bear being so close to me, so he abruptly stood up and began pacing the room.

"Then what is the point?!" I yelled back, not caring that everyone else in the house was sleeping. "All you're doing is sitting here and having fun being a traitor. If you were actually here for me, then you'd actually be doing something a bit more helpful!"

"I'm just trying to keep you safe, don't you get it?!" he said, echoing his last word with a punch to the wall.

"If you run away, Lawrence will come after you. And he had an entire army of immortals at his disposal--he'd find you in an instant. You'll be dead by sunrise. I am helping you, and I'm doing that by keeping you from making idiotic decisions that result in your murder."

I gazed at him, my eyes growing soft.

"So you are here for me."

I wasn't yelling anymore. My words were supposed to be a statement, but instead they came out sounding like a surprised question.

Rustan's anger quickly disappeared as well. He didn't answer me, but at this point I didn't really need a yes or no.

"You can't run away," he said instead. His tone sounded like he was giving an order.

"Yes I can. I will," I said, just as stubborn as usual. "And you're coming. Let's leave, Rustan. Together."

He looked torn as he considered my offer.

His reply was slow, but I knew it was honest.

"...No."

Abruptly I stood up. I'd had enough.

"Fine," I stated, trying to make my voice match his; cool and collected. "Then I'll leave without you. Foster will help me, so I'll be sure I won't get caught."

"Chase, don't."

"You know I'm not going to listen to you."

"I'm going to stop you."

"Have fun trying."

He grew impatient with my stubbornness.

"Fine," he said fiercely. "I don't care. Go and get killed. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Great, thanks. I'm going to leave now and go back to my room."

"Fine, have fun with that," he snarled.

"Fine, I will."

"Fine."

"Fine!" I shouted, and at that, I left his bedroom and slammed the door behind me.

I stormed back into my room, not caring if I made a racket as I stomped around. I stalked over to the bed, planning on throwing myself onto the comforter and then screaming into the pillow--but I stopped short as I remembered that Foster and I were sharing a room.

He was awake, as I quickly realized. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, a serene expression on his face, and staring straight at me.

"You left," he said shortly. The gruffness in his voice was toned down a bit now, as he was speaking softly.

"Er...yeah," I said stupidly, my frustration at Rustan disappearing rather quickly. "I was just, uh..."

"It's okay, I heard you," he interrupted. "You were in Rustan's room."

I gulped, unsure of what to say to that.

"What were you arguing about?"

The tone in his voice sounded almost bored; it was then I comprehended that the look on his face was not sincere, but unemotional. He was being distant. As if he was hurt.

"Nothing," I answered. "He's just so--Never mind. It was nothing."

A flicker of annoyance flashed over Foster's face; a new emotion for him. I rarely saw him impatient or angry.

"Liar."

His statement struck me numb. He was clearly calling me out on this--on keeping him in the dark about everything. I deserved to be called that name, no doubt, but I just wasn't used to this kind of Foster.

"Don't worry, I know," he said. He stood up and walked over to the window--probably so that he wouldn't have to look at my face.

"You like Rustan. It's not hard to miss. No matter how many times you say you hate him...You just don't."

"Foster, I'm..." My voice broke off as I struggled to find my words. First I got into a fight with Rustan, and now this. I was too tired for all of this.

"I'm sorry," I managed to blurt out.

He knew that an apology coming from me was a very rare thing--but he ignored it nonetheless.

"No, Chase. If you were sorry, you wouldn't like Rustan. Don't you get what he did?"

"Yeah, but--"

"He betrayed us. He handed us over to the enemy," he interjected. His tone was no longer unemotional; I could hear the underlying frustration flowing thick in his words.

"I know, b--"

"He used you. He tricked us all to get us here, and for what? It was all for his personal gain. He told me himself, when he had first asked me to join his side--he said this was a smart move for any immortal. Being on Lawrence's side promised freedom and power and anything you wish. Rustan's a selfish jackass and did this all for himself."

"But--"

"He killed Thez!" he roared.

I fell silent. There was really no come back for that.

"I just don't get it, Chase," he said, letting out an exasperated sigh. "You liking him...Not only is it stupid and irrational--which is completely unlike you--it's not fair."

He waited for a moment for me to say something. I couldn't find anything even close to decent to say, so I remained quiet. After a moment he decided to continue.

"I've stayed by your side this whole time. I didn't cross over and join the demons. When you disappeared a few nights back, I was the one who went out looking for you. And even though you had come here willingly, I still stuck by your side. Despite the fact that it was your fault we ended up here in the first place."

I felt a lump in my throat form as he continued to speak.

"So why don't you like me, Chase?"

"Foster, I think..." I began to say, but I choked on my words.

During the past few weeks, I have been very confused about my emotions. But, ladies and gentlemen, I think something just happened to me that has solved all of that.

Foster basically just spilled his guts out to me. This whole time he's acted immature and perverted, but now I'm starting to think it was all a facade. He must have had to put up with so much crap as I went all goggly-eyes over Rustan, even though I tried to hide it. And he finally got fed up with it, and now he tells me what's actually on his mind.

Do you know what kind of nerve that takes?

That's definitely something that Rustan could never do, even if he wanted to.

"Foster," I said again, my voice clearer now. My emotions weren't muddled anymore. I just realized something so surprising and incredible; it was practically refreshing to my mind. Now I was feeling something so immensely different; but I knew exactly what I wanted.

"I...I don't love Lawrence anymore."

Ooh! I know! I'll read you my text-message conversation that I had today with me friend Patrick.

Let me just give you some background info: Friday during school, in history class, we had a presentation about the Native Americans. This eventually led us to a discussion about totem poles and their meanings.

I, being the genius that I am, totally forgot was totem poles were. So I decided to raise my hand and just ask...and basically everyone in the class laughed in my face. Patrick's in the class too, so he was there. He laughed the hardest.

Anyway, this is how the convo started out:

PATRICK:
Dear [you],
Way to be a tool in history today. I think that was the dumbest question anyone's asked all year. Thanks for the good laugh.
HAHA.
Love,
Patrick

ME:
Dear buttfuck,
I hate you. If you ever speak to me about that incident again I will personally shove a totem pole up your ass. Ok bye.

PATRICK:
:'[

ME:
I mean...um...I love you. Let's have babies?

PATRICK:
Meh. Ok I guess.

And that's how my friendships work.