first star i see tonight ||one||

chapter four

indigo

The next morning started much the same as the last, although Teagan happily didn't have to wear her school uniform. She donned her UCSB sweatshirt – a gift from a friend who attended the school – and some baggy jeans. Well, she went to an all-girl's school. She didn't have to care about what she looked like.

But, besides her change in dress, everything was annoyingly familiar from the day before. Teagan and Michael fought again over her slowly growing relationship with Emily. She just caught her mom and dad as they headed to bed and work, and then Teagan was quickly out of the house herself.

The only thing Teagan took any real notice of was that the amulet seemed to have changed color. At first, Teagan was convinced the cloudy morning was causing the stone to take on its pale and stormy purple hue. But, as she examined the crystal while walking with Michael to school, Teagan was certain it had changed.

"I'm telling you," Michael warned. "Take that thing off."

"But it's so pretty," Teagan teased in a sing-song voice. She was tired of arguing. "Besides, I want to ask Emily why it changed. Unless you can tell me."

He fell silent, and they continued up the busy street. The walk to school felt far longer under the pressing silence, but neither Teagan nor Michael would break it.

"I know you know why it's a different color," Teagan finally said as she entered the parking lot. But, she got no immediate response. And the couple was soon interrupted by Abby. She grabbed the strap of Teagan's backpack as she ran from her car and began to skip merrily – too merrily – next to her friend.

"Excited for today?" she questioned, beaming in Teagan's direction.

Teagan grimaced. "For what part, exactly? The torturous physics quiz from the inner circle of hell or the fact that you and Elizabeth," – Teagan said the name with a snarl – "are setting me up with someone at the Half Way retreat?"

"Oh, she told you about that, did she?" Abby questioned, her expression falling just the tiniest bit.

"Nope, I'm psychic," Teagan responded grumpily, without thinking. When she realized what she had said, the girl had to bite hard on the inside of her lip to keep from laughing at the irony.

"Don't be so negative, Tey. Aiden's really sweet. And attractive."

"I'm almost a hundred percent certain – no, I'm definitely a hundred and five percent certain – this Aiden kid is not my type."

"So, who is your type then?" Marie chimed in. Teagan shot her a look, but she continued on, "Because, oh-em-gee, we, like, totally have to, like, set you up with someone for the winter formal!"

"Quit it with the valley girl impression," Teagan nearly snarled. "I’m not in the mood."

"When in Rome," Marie responded with a shrug as they made their way up the steps. Ugh, as if Teagan didn't have to deal with enough real valley girls. Real, straight-from-the-movie-Clueless valley girls. Those brats sincerely made her miss San Francisco.

Teagan pulled open her locker, but neither of her friends wandered off to their own. She rolled her eyes, hoping they would go away. Her fighting with Michael had not put her in the mood to deal with the fact that Abby liked to play matchmaker.

"Really, though, who is your type?" Abby asked. "For future reference."

"Yeah, we're all curious," Marie added. "Since, well, you've never gone out with anyone."

"Will you guys stop being so Fiddler on the Roof?" Teagan cried in exasperation. "I don't want to be set up with anyone. I'm perfectly fine without some random PC guy attached to my hip, okay?"

"Geez, no need to be so touchy," Marie mumbled, rolling her eyes. "Dear Abby's just trying to help."

"And I can appreciate that, really," Teagan said, more calmly, as she turned to Abby. "But, guys, I'm not a little kid. You don't need you to set me up on dates."

"Don't look at me," Marie defended herself. "I had nothing to do with this."

"But you knew about it," Teagan accused. Marie, as detached as she seemed, had a way of knowing everything.

"Sure. But, it was too funny to blow the whistle on."

"You're impossible."

"I know," Marie said, beaming. Teagan shut her locker and turned to face the girls. "I've gotta get going, though. Miss T wants me to go in early to work on the newspaper. See you guys at lunch!" she called over her shoulder as she rounded the corner.

Teagan turned all her attention to Abby as her black-haired friend added, "Don't worry so much. It's not a date-date. I just want you to meet the guy. Talk to him a little. You know, participate in the normal human interaction that you don't seem to have much knowledge of."

You have no idea, Teagan thought, hiding a smile.

The bell rang then, causing Teagan to jump while Abby remained perfectly still.

"That's my cue, then," she said, heading off down the hall. "Calculus test today, and I've gotta ask Beckett about something. Don't forget we have practice for auditions at lunch!" she called over her shoulder.

Teagan's eyes bulged as she choked over her words. "What!" she exclaimed, bracing herself against the row of lockers. "Abigail Olivia Wright! I'm going to kill you for springing that on me!"

Abby just waved in acknowledgement, visibly shaking from laughter as she rounded the corner. Teagan scowled in her direction as Michael's own sniggers became a background for her thoughts.

"I'm going to murder you," Teagan growled, heading downstairs.

"I'd like to see you try," Michael dared her.

Four hours later, lunch had come far too quick. Teagan was seriously considering hiding behind some cars in the parking lot to ensure the success of her ditching effort when Marie grabbed Teagan by the elbow. Right. Rule number one of ditching: don't be in the same class as the person you're trying to escape.

"Don't even think about bailing," Marie warned her, steering Teagan down the stairs. "I don't care how pale or nervous you are. You signed up. You're auditioning. End of story."

"Did I tell you that I hate you yet today?" Teagan questioned, freeing her elbow (with a bit of effort) from Marie's grasp.

"Not in those words, no," Marie responded, smiling. "But, I got the message."

"Why the hell do I hang out with you?"

"No idea. But it certainly provides me with amusement."

They reached the gym, and Teagan followed Marie to the stage where other musical hopefuls were already gathered. She could feel her breathing going shallow at the sight of all the people. Her face grew warm as she thought about how many more would be there opening night.

"Relax, Tey. Deep breath. In. Out. You'll be fine," Marie called half-heartedly over her shoulder.

"I'm not the run-up-and-dance-around-in-front-of-lots-of-people type," Teagan complained in a string of breathless words.

"Neither am I," Marie replied as they reached the state. "It's still fun. I promise."

They approached Abby, who was beaming at Teagan, just as the school choral director called out, "Sopranos, stage left. Altos, to my right."

Teagan stood, speechless and confused by the terminology. Abby giggled and pulled her toward the right as Marie went off to the left with a wave.

Miss Schoen began handing out music immediately, and Teagan took a packet with shaking hands. She could swear she was going to be sick.

"Teagan Mackenzie, breathe," Abby murmured.

"But – I – I can't even read music," Teagan complained, looking down at the paper.

"You don't have to," Abby assured her kindly. "Just listen."

Teagan could feel the blood draining from her face as she contemplated the idea of singing with all these people, having them hear her. Teagan thought the stress of it was going to make her pass out.

"So, befriending a potentially dangerous homeless woman," Michael started on her, drowning out Miss Schoen's first instructions. He definitely sounded angry. "And possibly endangering everything you care about, including your own life – that's a piece of freaking cake. But you're deathly afraid of singing in a choir! What the hell is wrong with you, Teagan?"

She shut her eyes tightly, trying to listen carefully to the music Schoen was playing. For the next half hour, Teagan sang along quietly, fearful of her own voice. But, once she had learned the song, Teagan found she was actually having fun. The idea was disturbing.

"Well?" Marie asked, quickly making her way over as the first bell rang.

"It wasn't that bad," Teagan confessed, nevertheless looking a little annoyed.

"Oh, you loved it," Marie remarked, hoisting on her backpack.

"Sounded good, too," Abby added. "Quiet as a mouse, but still good."

"Remember girls," Miss Schoen called out, "dancing practice and auditions are Monday. Voice auditions – in twos and threes – on Tuesday afternoon."

Teagan looked at Abby, fear in her eyes. "We have to audition to dance, too?"

"Yeah, the main parts have a lot of solos," Abby remarked. "Don't worry, no one expects you to be awesome. You don't have a dancing background. But, I'm sure you'll do fine anyway," she added kindly.

"Fine," Teagan grumbled. She still couldn't believe she was going through with this. Why couldn't she just suck it up and stop being such a push over? "But you'll audition with me for the singing part, right?"

"Of course," Abby assured her with a smile.

Marie and Teagan then departed for economics, and – having gone through the first dreadful event of the day – Teagan spent the entire period dreaming up nightmarish ideas of what could go wrong at the retreat later. She did not want to meet this Aiden kid. If only she could tell her friends that she already had a boyfriend, thank you very much. Unfortunately, anyone who knew the truth would probably lock her away in an institution. The whole I'm-in-love-with-my-invisible-guardian-angel thing sounded crazy enough to Teagan. She couldn't imagine someone else's reaction.

But, despite how much Teagan was dreading the Half Way Retreat, the bell signaling the end of her AP Psychology class came too soon. Lizzie was instantly at her side, beaming at her handy work.

"You're gonna love him," she remarked as they made their way to the gym. "He's the cutest, sweetest thing in the world."

"Where'd you find this poor guy?"

"Poor guy?" Lizzie questioned, shocked. "He's so excited to meet you. We've told him all about you." – Teagan groaned loudly, smacking her palm to her forehead. – "He thinks you sound like someone who'd be 'a lot of fun to hang out with'."

"That's all he said?" Teagan questioned in surprise.

"Yeah, he doesn't exactly seem to get the whole romantic aspect of the thing. Yet-"

"No, that's great! I don't mind a little testosterone, as long as the whole just-friends thing applies," Teagan interrupted, her once solemn and annoyed face now smiling slightly. "In fact, I need some testosterone. I'm around too many silly school girls," Teagan added, shooting a pointed look at her friend.

Lizzie just shrugged, rolling her eyes as they entered the gym.

Once inside, everyone found each other as they clustered at tables. Lizzie and Abby waved simultaneously to a boy in a plain blue t-shirt the moment be walked through the gym doors. Teagan gave Abby a warning look, and she nodded and beamed at her friend. "Good luck," she mouthed. Teagan was going to kill her.

"Hey Aiden!" Lizzie said sweetly as he sat down at the only spot conveniently left: between Abby and Teagan.

"Looking forward to today's amazing excuse for keeping us locked up after school hours?" Abby said in a purposefully obnoxiously sweet voice.

"Oh yeah. I've been planning my whole year around this one," Aiden said, smiling. And, okay, if Teagan was being perfectly honest with herself, he was very cute. Very, very cute. He had good skin, sparkling blue eyes, good taste in clothing, and dark brown hair flattened up into a small faux-hawk. Michael groaned in annoyance at the assessment.

"You don't feel bad being the only guy at our table, do you?" Lizzie asked.

"Nah. Let all the other guys be jealous," Aiden said with a wide smile, leaning back in his chair rather cockily. Ah, so he was one of those. Not so cute. But then he laughed – and it was no surprise that he had one of those wonderfully infectious laughs, as some people just got everything in life. "Don't worry about it, Liz, love. I haven't talked to you guys in ages. But, who's everyone else here?"

"Oh, of course," Abby responded, beaming. She went around the rectangular metal table, pointing and quickly saying names. Everyone waved or nodded or did whatever they determined was the best way to greet the newcomer. As Abby came to the end with "and you already know Marie from last year's musical. And this is Teagan." her eyes met Teagan's in a mischievous flash.

"Oh, the girl they've lovingly forced into musical theatre," Aiden commented with a wry smile. He stuck out his hand warmly for a proper introduction. "Nice to meet you."

Teagan nodded, flashing a subtly warning look at Abby.

"Nice to meet you," she said, sounding stoically polite as she did everything in her power not to flirt with him. Ttime and time again Teagan realized she didn't really know what flirting was, and, according to the girls, she always seemed to accidentally be doing it.

"So, Teagan, then?" Aiden commented, turning toward her. "It's a really interesting name. What is it?"

"Irish," she told him, smiling slightly despite her determination not to. His smile was too infectious not to solicit a response. "My dad-"

But Teagan didn't have the opportunity to tell the new acquaintance that her Dad had grown up on a small farm on the southern coast of Ireland, as the Pacific Hills Academy's college counselor stood to make a speech.

"Let us begin today with a prayer," the graying woman began. Mrs. Green was not two words into giving thanks for the intelligence of the students assembled in the room when Marie gave Teagan a sharp jab in the side.

"What?" she mouthed, turning her head slightly and shooting Marie an annoyed look.

"You two are cute together," Marie said quietly with a mocking smile. Teagan chanced a look at the government teacher nearby and jabbed Marie hard in the ribs. She jumped slightly in her seat before turning a wicked grin to her friend. "I was just making an innocent observation," she murmured quietly. "Now pay attention, Teagan Mackenzie."

Teagan scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes before turning her head back to Mrs. Green, who had finished the prayer with the sign of the cross and was saying, "Well, welcome to our annual Half Way Retreat, ladies and gentleman. I'm glad all of you could join us today." – Marie and Teagan snorted quietly in unison. They hadn't exactly had a choice in the "joining us" thing. – "Today we will have several speakers on college and your application to it. And then you will be free to socialize with each other."

"How much more controlling could they get?" Marie whispered. "Come on, we don't need to socialize under their protection."

"Oh, but we must be proper young ladies," Teagan said in an adopted high-pitched murmur. "How could we ever dream of talking to boys," – she made the word an incredulous gasp – "without a chaperone or two? Or five? Or seven." Her voice flattened as she rolled her eyes. Honestly, they weren't little girls, as the faculty would constantly remind them whenever the girls of PHA needed to take responsibility for something. The nerve of them, having such a double standard.

Aiden had been listening to the quiet conversation, and he turned back his gaze to smile at the girls. Marie sent a smile disguising her amusement at Teagan's sudden discomfort in Aiden's direction. Teagan, to her horror, blushed slightly as she smiled shyly at him. The student speaker on stage began to go on about the separation anxiety, stress, and senioritis that would apparently make everyone bipolar in the coming months. Poor girl, likely suckered into droning on to her former classmates by the school principal.

"What, you don't like our nice, organized socialization?" Aiden whispered with a sarcastic smile. "They do it for our own safety, you know," – he nodded gravely – "After all, we would spend all of our free time drinking and smoking pot and making out in the back seats of our cars if they didn't have these little retreats to remind us what good, wholesome multi-gender interaction is."

A teacher came to stand behind him then – Mr. Warner, a math teacher Teagan had never had the pleasure of having – and the balding blonde man stared at everyone in a way that clearly conveyed his message of silence. As the first speaker finished to polite applause that Teagan half-heartedly joined, the junior-senior counselor from Pacific Coast stood to talk about connections, jobs, and scholarship opportunities. She began to drone on about the people the students would meet and their political and financial importance in everyone's futures – it was something that was so Academy like it made Teagan want to gag – as the math teacher walked off to reprimand some PC boys who were having some sort of juvenile pinching contest.

Marie, Aiden, and Teagan all smirked at each other as soon as their guardian was gone, and they continued the rest of the "retreat" speaking in whispers about the ills of their tiny school society. Teagan found out Aiden intended to apply to many of the schools she was, including her top choices of UCLA and Harvard. Both laughed quietly at the idea of them actually getting in. But, they were also both applying to many of the same University of California campuses, which they did have some confidence in their potential admittance to. Occasionally Elizabeth and Abby would join in on the conversation. Sometimes the entire table seemed to be rallying a whispered conversation back and forth, and several other teachers walked near to reprimand them with harsh stares.

Then, finally, Mrs. Green closed the torturous affair with another prayer and the students were given free reign of the gym and the snack table. The girls around instantly set to gossiping or seeking out the attention of various PC guys, but Teagan just leaned back in her chair, counting down the minutes until she would be free to walk home.

"This is such a waste of my time," she told Michael silently, not bothering to stifle her large yawn.

"I suppose you'd rather be talking to Emily," Michael responded darkly.

"Yes," Teagan responded snappishly. Why did he have to be so annoyed by Emily? What harm was she doing in telling Teagan about her own life and the forces behind it?

"You're a foolish, foolish girl," Michael scolded. Teagan imagined the perfectly carved face of her dreams freezing into a hard-lined scowl. "And if this keeps up I'm not going to care when all of this stuff with the Intermediary gets you bitten in the ass."

I gave a little tut-tut of my tongue behind my slightly smiling lips. "Now, now. Such language from a guardian angel. And what the bloody hell is the Intermediary?"

"I can use whatever language I please," Michael responded coolly. "And the Intermediary is just what angels – mostly the guardians – call The Society's Universum Umbra. It's the name the place had before it was taken over. That's what it is, after all – the Dark World is the go-between for souls waiting to re-enter the world."

"So," a bored, drawling voice woke Teagan from her supernatural conversation. "Are you really being forced into the musical or do you actually want to do it?"

Teagan blinked and looked around, finding that all her friends had abandoned her and Aiden together at the table while she seemed to mindlessly stare into space. A blush crept into her cheeks, and she turned to smile sweetly at the poor boy.

"I'm being forced," Teagan laughed lightly. "But, I dunno, I guess it might end up being fun."

"Don't worry, the musicals are always the best plays of the year," Aiden assured me.

"Wait, you're in theatre?" Teagan asked, turning to face him properly.

"Yeah. I'll be trying out for Footloose next week. To tell the truth, I'm a little nervous," Aiden said, allowing himself to look more vulnerable than most guys, especially PC guys, would.

"What part do you want?" Teagan asked with relative interest.

"I honestly don't care. I just wanna be on stage, you know?"

"No, I wouldn't know," Teagan responded coolly, a knot forming in her stomach. The thought of all those people staring at her, waiting for to trip or mess up a line, twisted at her chest once more.

"Ah, I see," Aiden murmured. "Not a stage person, I take it?"

"No," she said simply, not enjoying that the topic had been brought up.

"Thus the being forced into theatre," he said.

"Obviously," Teagan responded, surprised at how snappish she had suddenly become. She wholeheartedly blamed her conversation with Michael, who she sensed was pouting as he sat on the table. He would be jealous over this boy who had been forced upon Teagan.

"It's just beginner's stage fright," Aiden assured her. "Happens to everyone. You'll get over it."

"Doubt it," she said, looking up to see Lizzie, Abby, and Marie all watching her conversation intently as they giggled with eachother. She glared at them over Aiden's shoulder while he tried to reassure her, and Marie grinned widely and impishly back.

"Maybe you're right," Teagan said vaguely, turning her attention back to Aiden and hoping he would drop the subject. Thankfully he did, but that threw them into an awkward silence. Teagan sat there, drumming her fingers on the table. She eventually desperately tried to think of a topic of conversation. She heard Aiden sigh – was he exhaling nervously? – next to her, and she shut her eyes in frustration with herself. This was a bad, bad, bad idea. She was not a conversationalist. She was not good with human boys. Based on the fight she was having, she wasn't very good with non-human boys, either. She wanted to go learn how to be a good little psychic and leave poor Aiden far behind.

"So, what's his name?" Aiden suddenly asked. Teagan looked at him with a curious expression, and she noticed that he seemed to be holding his breath in some sort of anticipation.

"Whose name?" Teagan asked, dumbfounded as she looked around.

"The one sitting on the table. The one you're with."

Teagan's blood seemed to freeze as a ringing sounded through her ears. He couldn't know about Michael. That would be impossible. Wouldn't it?

"P-pardon me?" she stuttered, looking at him with what she hoped was a completely confused and innocent expression.

He looked at her with confused eyes, and a blush slowly began to creep into his cheeks. "Nevermind," he mumbled. "I'm going to get something to drink. You want me to bring you something?"

"No, that's alright," Teagan said, her voice catching in her throat. No. It was impossible. Wasn't it? He left the table and Teagan stood up in a daze. Impossible. A strange coincidence. It had to be. But, who else could he have possibly been talking about?

She walked over to the girls, certainly looking mortified. They studied her with wary expressions, and Abby stood on her tip-toes to see Aiden chatting with some guys at the snack table.

"What the hell did you say, Tey?" Lizzie asked, looking at her friend as an inexperienced child who needed reprimanding for her error. "He's red as McGuiness's hair."

"Nothing. There was just a really awkward silence," Teagan confessed, not exactly lying.

"Damn, and I thought you would get on well together," Abby said, seeming defeated. "Oh well. We'll find you someone else."

"You most certainly will not," Teagan warned. She knew none of the girls would heed her request.

………………………….

The assembly finally let out after another excruciating half hour, and Teagan nearly ran down the stairs from the gym. She noticed Aiden sitting on the rail, watching her, from the corner of her eye, and her pace quickened. It seemed less and less impossible that this boy was far more connected to her world than any of her friends could possibly realize. And that was absolutely terrifying as Teagan stormed onto the darkening side street that connected the Academy to the outside world.

Teagan kept one hand in the pocket of her sweatshirt while the other fiddled with her amulet. The glittering stone seemed to have grown to an even darker violet color, but Teagan was sure it was just a trick of the light. She and Michael walked in silence down the street, crowded with rush hour traffic. All the while, she kept thinking of Aiden, much to Michael's palpable annoyance. But, was she really supposed to forget something so strange?

"Could he see you?" Teagan finally asked, her voice quiet in her mind, as they neared the corner where she intended to meet Emily.

"I don't see how," Michael said slowly. "Humans can't see us. It's against the laws of physics. Against the way of the world."

"What if he's not human?" she questioned, and her inquiry was met with troubled silence.

They reached the corner and Teagan instinctively headed for the bench. But, there was no old woman with unruly hair and a cane waiting for her. There was no one around at all but the few pedestrians heading home on the other side of the street. Teagan turned in slow circles, looking carefully for Emily. But, she truly was no where to be found.

Teagan waited impatiently a while, hoping Emily was just running late. But, the sun began to move further toward the horizon and Teagan began to worry. She walked quickly to the park that had been the spot of so much revelation. Her feet first moved slowly over the gravel paths as her eyes strained to see into the shadows, but soon she was running across the expansive lawn, tempted to call out for her teacher. But, it became evident Emily was no where near the now threatening trees and dark green grass. Teagan walked quickly back to the bus station, but Emily was still not there.

"Where is she?" Teagan asked Michael, peering desperately through the growing darkness of twilight.

"I don't know. But I do know I don't want you wandering about in the dark. Let's head home," Michael suggested, though his tone made it clear his words were not a simple request. Teagan stood her ground, looking around fretfully. "I'm sure everything's fine," Michael soothed her, dropping the stubborn frustration that had tinted his voice all day. "Perhaps she forgot you were getting out late and grew tired of waiting. We can look for her tomorrow."

Teagan nodded and pressed the button for the walk signal, but she never stopped looking back over her shoulder, hoping to see the wobbly old woman, until they had turned onto another street.

…………………..

She was dressed and ready for bed early that night, and the tight knot at the pit of her stomach was very unsettling.

"What if something happened?" she murmured out loud.

"I'm sure she's fine," Michael soothed. "She seems like a very strong old gal."

"But what if something did happen?" Teagan asked again. She went to sit on her bed and look out her window, out toward the sky where the few stars visible from the San Fernando Valley had been twinkling for some time.

"All will be well," Michael said, wrapping his arms around Teagan's slumped shoulders. "Everything always turns out. That's your motto, isn't it?"

"Yes," Teagan whispered. But she couldn't feel so sure at the moment. Her gaze fixed on the brightest star in the sky as she quietly recited her nightly, childish prayer:

"Starlight, star bright,

First star I see tonight,

I wish I may

I wish I might

Have the wish I wish tonight.

"Starlight, star bright,

Take my heart and hold it tight,

I wish I may

I wish I might

Have a single hope tonight."

Like every night, Teagan wished for an ability to see, hear, feel, or just have more confidence in Michael. But, as it seemed – with the assurance that came from Emily's, and now Aiden's, awareness of Michael – that her particular nightly prayer had begun to come true. So now she wished for something different.

"Please, please," she murmured, looking imploringly at the sky. She hadn't the slightest idea who she was praying to or why, but this nightly ritual had always given her a ray of hope. "Let her be okay." Teagan looked down at her amulet with sad eyes, and she found that it was a solid, brooding indigo.