Sorrowed Secrets of a Sorrowed Boy
3,6,9,12, twelve strikes of the grandfather clock. It was now 12 o’clock. The doctor had been in my parents’ room for over an hour now and I was getting worried. I knew my parents were dying. They told me so themselves, but I couldn’t help getting worried. In a way I sort of wish they would hurry up and die so the suspense and waiting was over, even though it wasn’t a nice thought. Especially for a 12-year-old protestant girl; as I was thinking this, the maid called Helen came to me and started comforting me. I did not object. Some people would think of me as a cold-hearted girl. I only have a few people close to me. My parents and Helen; that’s all I need. Helen is always there for me whether I knew it or not, so I did not mind her hugging me.
You might think it strange for a 12-year-old girl to have no friends, but I think that the more you care the more you lose; my dying parents already proved this statement true.
The doctor came out and bowed his head. It was all over, I could tell. Helen was bawling her eyes out on my shoulder. I just sat there with a high posture on the steps. I was feeling sorrowed but I would never let it show.
I turned to the doctor with as much courage as I could muster and asked, “may I see them”?
He nodded slowly and deliberately, and I walked in to my parents’ bedroom as I had so many times before and looked unto their bed to see them lying side by side as if in a deep sleep which they would never wake from. Tears started to brim and threatened to fall down my cheeks. I never let any one see me cry apart from my mother and that was only once when I was five.
I stood in their room with silent tears falling freely down my face and I whispered to my parents’ dead corpses “I’m sorry” and I walked out of the room but not before drying my eyes so no one could tell I had been crying. I made a vow right then in my mind that I would never cry over someone living or dead ever again. I hated to see myself look weak, and I was certain that I would not break my vow to my parents and myself.
The next few weeks were filled with the fact that my parents were dead and since they were nobles and owned a great estate in Pembrokeshire there were solicitors all over the house talking about the will and what would go where, and who will look after the estate; but more importantly who would look after me? Who would look after me? I repeated in my mind. I knew of no living relatives in the vicinity, let alone the country. So it came as a shock when I heard news of a relative living in London in a letter from the Bank of England sent forward.
It said in the letter:
Dear Sophie Holbrook,
I am so grieved to hear that your parents have passed on. And I am probably right in thinking that you do not know of me but I am your great uncle Louis and I am cordially inviting you to stay with me at my town house in London. I know that you have no living relatives in this country and I am quite sure that you do not want to travel to the Americas just to be there, for a little while. But if you want somewhere to stay, or if you haven’t a place already, you are always welcome to stay with me.
Yours sincerely
Great Uncle
Cedric Holbrook
I was astonished. That was all I could think of. I had a relative in London and what was more, he was living, and he sounds really nice.
I had no hesitation in replying yes to my Great Uncle Cedric.
Great Uncle Cedric…. Who are you?
Well there was no point in dwelling on what’s going to happen when all you have to do is get there and find out for yourself I said in my head. That was what my father always said to me when I was pondering on something.
As the weeks wore on and while I was still packing all of my belongings I couldn’t help but think about my parents and how my Great Uncle Cedric was connected to them. I had never heard of him, so why now? I was still depressed about my parents’ death and I was hiding my emotions more than usual. I was now an emotionless train wreck. No feeling in my eyes and no body language; nothing to show that I was even human, just an empty shell.
At last I was all packed and I was ready to head off to London with all my belongings in tow, and ready for an adventure!
I am so bored. I have been in this stupid carriage for hours on end. I had already finished my book in the first few hours and the scenery was all the same. Trees trees trees and more trees. I sighed and leaned against the window ledge, while looking out the window and I thought to my self. I need to get more books or I will die of boredom.
Finally London had come into view. I was so excited! It had taken about a week’s trip to get to London. As the carriage was riding through the streets of London, my face was glued to the windowpane soaking in all of the sights and it was breath taking!
My little joyride came to an end when the carriage pulled up a very quiet lane with pretty town houses accompanied with spacious gardens. I felt that I should stay quiet for there was something about this street that gave you a spine tingling sensation like there was a story to be told or there was a ghost. Unfortunately for me there were no such things as ghosts I told myself. We were passing a kind of creepy looking house that made the hairs on the back of my neck go up and I could feel cold sweat go down my back, giving me more shivers. I also noticed that the horses pulling the carriage were starting to shy away from the house, sensing the unease.
When we had passed the house I let out a breath of relief, but it was short lived for we stopped just two doors down from the spine tingling house.
I was silently cursing the driver for stopping, begging that the house we just stopped at would not be the house I might be living in for the rest of my life. I inwardly groaned. Of course it was, why else would we stop, and with my luck he’s probably standing outside the house waving to me and calling my name; and sure enough he was.
I looked at him and then the carriage floor, and then I looked back to my Great Uncle Cedric Holbrook so fast, that I’m pretty sure I cricked my neck. What I saw was astonishing. He looked EXACTLY like my deceased father. It was incredible. He even had the same hairstyle!!
His golden brown wavy locks framing his muscular jaw and down to mid neck bringing out the golden tanned array of skin. He held himself with dignity and grace giving you the feel of power around him but also of kindness. He was tall and muscular and judging by the looks of him he was probably in the army at some point when he was younger. Everything about him was the same as my father; it was as if my father had a twin. The only difference about Cedric and my Father, which is quite striking actually is their eyes. My father’s eyes were a soft chocolaty brown; where as uncle Louis’ eyes were a shockingly piercing blue that seem to look right through you and into your soul. They were quite mesmerizing actually. Even though this small detail between my father and Cedric’s appearance may seem small to other people, I think it made the whole difference between their relationship and personalities.
I stopped staring at my Uncle and I slowly got out of the carriage and walked towards him still being sort of transfixed by him. I stopped right in front of him, still soaking up the image of him and all the memories it had brought back. I looked up at him and I looked him square in the eyes and asked “Uncle Cedric?”
The man replied “the one and only” while smiling; and he grabbed me into a spine cracking hug that would put a bear to shame. After I was released from the hug I looked up at his face and I smiled and said, “care to explain please?”
I found my self whisked into the pretty little town house by the house keeper Martha, and next thing I know I’m having tea and biscuits with great uncle Cedric.
“Now Sophie I do believe you have quite a few questions for me, so shoot.” Cedric was sitting on the edge of the comfy armchair across from the fire with his elbows leaning on his knees and his chin resting on his hands looking at me intensely with those fascinating eyes of his.
I set my teacup down, carefully breathed out then took a deep breath in and said slowly (as if trying to make sure you both knew what you were about to say), “how are you related to me?” I paused and then regaining confidence continued at a faster pace “and how do you know about me? And how did I not know you were here? And why do you look like my father as if you were a twin and what is with your amazing eyes I’ve never seen anything like them?” I asked now slightly breathless. There was silence for about two minutes and then Cedric spoke in a calm and reassuring way and said, “Well to go in exact order, I would have to say I am your father’s Uncle ” he said pointing at me “ youngest brother by about hmmm 14 years and I’m only about 7 years older than your father. Next question was I believe how do I know about you, ahh yes well since I’m your father’s uncle I was invited to the christening and I happened to be good friends with your father as we were little. Now next answer is I only just moved here about a year ago and I haven’t been in contact with the family for my work did not allow it and now I’ve got back I heard about your parents’ passing.” He said softly and quietly. It was obvious that he had been hurt by the death of my parents but what I wondered about most was what was his job that kept him busy for 10 years and not even able to keep in touch? Strange. Cedric started speaking again so I snapped out of it as he said “I look like your father because my older brother had a child, so really he looks like me, and my eyes well nobody knows but if I do say so myself I think they are quite intriguing.”
I just sat there soaking up all of the things my Great Uncle just said and I asked with much curiosity “what do you do in your job that is so important that you weren’t able to stay in contact with the family?” now sounding hurt. As I said that uncle Cedric was getting a little uncomfortable like he was hiding something and he was shifting in his seat now upright without that carefree smile plastered upon his face. Something was up. I narrowed my eyes slightly and asked, “Is everything alright?” Cedric made a nervous smile and said quite nervously, “something wrong? No, no everything is fine why would you ask something like that?” he laughed and I mumbled a “never mind.”
“Would you like some more tea?” Uncle Cedric asked out of the blue. I looked down and said “sure”. As Uncle Cedric was pouring he said quite matter of factly “now there are some rules in this house so you won’t be able to go gallivanting off to anywhere.” Cedric stopped and waited for my reaction and when he didn’t get one he continued and said in a stern voice, “now rule one is you are not allowed to be out of the house without an escort or someone with you. Number two I will be working a lot and I do not under any circumstances want to be interrupted. Rule three never ever go into the house two doors down ever” he said very sternly and I was stupid enough to say “why?” he replied “why is not the point just promise me you will never go into that house” he waited for my reply and I sighed defeated and said, “I promise.”
“Good, now Martha my faithful housekeeper will be teaching you your lessons here in this room at 9 O’clock until 2 O’clock in the afternoon from Monday to Wednesday and on Thursday and Friday you will learn art, embroidery, the Piano forte and the violin. Now am I understood?” I sighed and almost whispered, “Yes Uncle Cedric”
“Good now I will see you in the morning at the breakfast table. Martha will you please escort young Sophie to her room.” I had been dismissed. I trudged along the hallway behind Martha thinking this is going to be a really boring place to stay, and why couldn’t I go to the creepy looking house? Sure it was creepy but it felt exciting and like it had a story to tell and I was going to find out what. But figuring out how to do that would be a bit of a challenge.
As life went on days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and I had barely seen my uncle since our discussion on my first night here. He sometimes didn’t even come down to eat. I had tried to ask Martha what he was doing in there and if I could see him but she always said, “The Professor is a very busy man and takes his studies quite serious. He does not have time to see little girls.” This always got me angry and I just walked out of the room, normally into the garden for some quiet; but this time she added something to the end of that silly line “Now that he’s dead. Bless his little soul, only ten yrs old.” This confused me. Did Martha have a son? No it was something to do with Great Uncle Cedric.
Just as my burning sensation to know what my Uncle Cedric did in that locked up room grew, so did my passion to get into the spooky house two doors down. It was so aggravating that I had to have an escort every time I went out side except for the garden.
One cold winter afternoon as it was getting dark Martha asked me to go up to the attic to get two oil lamps so it would be easier to see in the winter darkness. I did as I was told and went up the steps to the attic and got in. I had a candle with me to help me look around. I rummaged around looking for the lamps getting further and further from the light from the door. I was still rummaging around in the treasure-laden attic getting deeper and deeper when I was only surrounded in my candlelight. I held up the candle so I could get a better look around and found nothing I had become lost in an attic. I was feeling quite stupid right now. How could you get lost in an attic? But then I remembered that town houses or street houses were all joined at the top or in this case the attic. There were so many thoughts whizzing through my head as realization dawned on me. I was in some one else’s house; Man was I in trouble. It was against the law to trespass on someone else’s land or house.
I tried to set my bearings straight and I listened carefully to see if anyone lived in the house I was standing in. Nothing. Good that was a good sign, but then an icy gust of wind and dust came over me and I shivered. It was almost unnatural. I shivered again and took off in a random direction hoping it would be the right way, and luckily for me we lived at the end of the street so I would know what door was ours.
I was walking around for what seemed an age and I saw an open door with a faint light coming in. I blew my candle out and ran towards the door. I ran down the steps and ran all the way to the hallway without noticing anything strange, but then I stopped. This wasn’t our house this was someone else’s. I was literally frozen in place; but I snapped back into reality when I heard a snap of a door closing. I looked around like a terrified bunny surrounded by foxes. Taking in my surroundings. I noticed that the place was coated in dust. It was everywhere; on the tables, on the chairs, on the mirrors and the lamps, even on the paintings. I nervously called out “h hell hello? Anyone there?” I heard a creak behind me and spun around with my hand in a fist in front of me. This was starting to scare me a little. Maybe it was the wind, I reasoned in my head, but wind wouldn’t make a door close inside. Would it? Ughhhh I was confusing myself again. I took a deep breath and released it slowly and I calmed down. I saw a window and looked out and saw that I was two doors down from my house and I calmed down a bit until I suddenly remembered what house this was. It was the abandoned house that gave me bone-chilling shivers whenever I walked by. I was seriously scared now, but I was also excited I always wanted to come here but I never could because of Uncle Cedric and his stupid rules. I was slightly surer of my self now and asked again but in a louder and more confident voice “alright if there is anyone here I would like to meet you, for I have wanted to come here for a while now so please don’t waste the precious time I have here.” I paused and added in case I sounded a bit rude “if that would be alright with you of course.” I said a little bit timidly. As soon as I finished speaking there was a gust of wind and a bit of creaking from the house and then it just stopped. It was silent. The silence was deafening me and I could here a pipe dripping somewhere in the house, It was slightly calming me to a lull. It was almost as if the house answered me. The silence was forgotten when you heard a long creak of hinges and then a click and slide of a door being closed slowly and being locked. I heard the sound of soft muffled footsteps and the air around me started to turn icy. My breath started coming in ragged and short. Something was definitely wrong. It felt supernatural like, like, like a ghost.
I mentally hit myself on the head. No there are no such things as ghosts! I repeated this in my mind over and over.
The footsteps stopped and I’m pretty sure that I stopped breathing for a second or two. It was as if time had stopped. I blinked slowly and I opened my eyes to see a boy no older than me but the difference was that he was transparent.
I blinked a couple times and then said, well more like spluttered “y y you’re a g g ghost?” half not believing myself; not wanting to see what was in front of me. Another part of me was screaming at me “Ghosts aren’t real”; and another part of me was thrilled meeting a ghost but also absolutely terrified. This all seemed so surreal.
The only thing I could think of saying to a ghost while being this shocked was “hello.” And I made a timid little wave. The boy looked shocked at me at first and then smiled warmly at me. It was one of the smiles that made your knees give way and your heart melt at the sight of it. The boy was still smiling and said “hi” back to me. His voice was whispery and almost silvery. It sort of flowed out of his mouth and into a stream of silvery vapour and into your eardrums soothing and calming you. I instantly soothed and calmed and I started to think about the situation logically and sensibly. A ghost boy had locked me in an abandoned house. Not good. The boy seems nice. Good. Martha might start to worry. Not good. I finally found a way into the house without being caught. Good.
Well this was a first. The good points and bad points were equal, so I guess that I was in an “all right” situation.
Now that I had the situation in control I started to take a good look at him. He had what appeared to be golden brown hair when he was alive. I couldn’t tell what colour eyes he had but they looked sort of teal colour, and they still held a spark of mischievousness. He had a pale complexion even when he was a ghost so that led me to believe he was sick when he died. He was a bit shorter than me. The boy had a very kind aura around him and it just made you at peace; but what you couldn’t understand was why he was here in this old abandoned home, so cold and dead. He must be so lonely.
I thought I should introduce myself. “Hi” I said again “my name is Sophie Holbrook. Pleased to meet you.” The boy smiled again but it was filled with joy. Still smiling he said very happily and quite gently “ I’m Daniel Holbrook. I’m glad that you aren’t scared of me. The other people have all been scared of me and run away from me. Except for the man who lives not far from here but he is no fun. He just wants to talk about weird things and experiments.
At this I was curious. It sounded a lot like my uncle, for he was a professor. I asked Daniel “if your last name is Holbrook doesn’t that mean we’re related?” Daniel looked confused for a second and said, “I guess so.” My guess was that he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch.
I also asked him now gaining more confidence in his presence “but why are you here? I mean I thought – not to be rude – that ghosts don’t exist. I thought that they either got trapped/ banished here or they just went to the other side?”
Daniel sighed and looked quite sad. “I’m sorry. Did I make you upset?” I said with concern written in my eyes and voice. Daniel sighed again and he said still a bit sad “you are right ghosts don’t just appear. I’m trapped here and I don’t know how to get to the “other side”.” I looked at him sympathetically and said very caringly not really knowing I was saying it “ I’ll help if you want.” Daniel looked at me with hope in his eyes and said, “really? You would do that for me?” “Yes I would, for I know what it’s like to be trapped in your own memories. I said quietly looking down, and remembering all of the good times I had with my parents. I was regretting ever being so cold towards them and Helen. She was always so kind to me but all I did was glare at her and push her away. I sighed coming out of my memories and into reality, at least as close as reality can get when you’re in a talking to a ghost.
Daniel agreed to me helping him and we both decided that I would meet him here on Saturday and we would figure out a plan then. This felt so unreal to me. It felt as if I were in a dream and I would wake up any second to find out that Daniel had been in my imagination. I felt kind of sad at that thought because I really liked Daniel and it would be a shame if he weren’t real at some point. He could have made someone really happy once.
Saturday came and I said I was going to my room and not to be disturbed. When I was sure the coast was clear I went through the hallway to the steps that led to the attic. Armed with my candle I lit it and went through the perilous journey to Daniels house. I saw the eerie bluish light emitting from the door way and I made a beeline straight for it.
Something was different I heard voices. One of them belonged to Daniel I was sure of that but the other voice I wasn’t so sure of. It sounded familiar but vague. I let it go and I hid behind an armchair and I waited for the other man to go. I had to wait for quite some time but he finally left. As soon as I was sure he was gone, I came out from behind the armchair and I greeted Daniel warmly. I asked him who the person was and he said he was a man two doors down who liked science. I gasped knowing that he was talking about my great uncle. Daniel said something to further shock me “I think I know him some how. The man said I was precious to him and he looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He also asked if I remembered him at all and I tired and tried but I couldn’t.”
It made me sad to see him so desperate trying to help someone but couldn’t. I looked up to see Daniel with a little bean ball in his hand. I was confused. How could a ghost hold a ball? I voiced my thoughts and he answered quite proudly actually “well you know when ghosts haunt people they can move things?” I nodded and he continued “well this is the same sort of thing, but instead of haunting you I’m going to play ball with you.” He smiled and so did I, and I said, “That sounds great.”
For the rest of the day we were just running around the house, playing ball. I had so much fun that day. I didn’t know I could laugh that much. But sadly the day came to an end and I said I had to get back or they will get worried and I waved him a goodbye and said see you tomorrow; and with that I went back down the black rafters to my house and I snuck quietly back to my room and pretended to be asleep until Martha came in and told me it was Dinner.
I went down to the kitchen and I was determined to talk to my Great Uncle Cedric. I saw him sitting at the table waiting for his food patiently and I sat opposite him and looked into those vibrant blue eyes of his. I looked at his face and it reminded me a lot of Daniel.
I saw that Uncle Cedric was looking sad and he caught my gaze and held it there for a flicker of a second and looked down again. I asked very slowly and carefully so as not to startle him “Uncle Cedric” he inclined his head to show me that he was listening. “Did you ever have a family?”
I watched him intensely looking for any sort of movement that would indicate that he was affected by this question. Just as he was about to answer Martha came in with our food. I glanced at Uncle Cedric quickly and looked at my plate. He wasn’t going to answer me, but I was a determined and stubborn little girl when I wanted to be; and I was determined to get answers now.
I ran up to Uncle Cedric after supper before he could go and lock himself in his room. I said to him with a firm tone “you never answered my question Uncle Cedric. Do you or did you have a family?”
Uncle Cedric sighed and said in a defeated and tired tone “ yes I used to have a wife and a son. My wife died in childbirth and my son died two years ago of the typhoid fever outbreak.” He sighed again and walked away.
“Wait!” I called out “did you happen to live in the house two doors down when you were married and Daniel was still alive?” I gasped and clapped my hand over my mouth. I had just let Uncle Cedric know that I had been to the house I had been forbidden from.
Uncle Cedric slowly turned around and asked me in a low and dangerous voice “ how did you know my son’s name? And as a matter of fact I did used to live there, but why would you know about this?”
I started to stutter and finally it came out. I said it really fast but I was pretty sure that Uncle Cedric heard me clearly “I got lost in the attic and I found an open door and I went in and I found the ghost of your son and he’s really nice and I played with him today and I’m really sorry but I agreed to help him to try to cross over to the other side and I saw a man there talking to him and I think it was you but why wouldn’t you tell him you’re his father he was really upset when you left and I played ball with him for the rest of the day and and and.” I stopped and looked down and then looked up to his astonished face and said, “I’m sorry.”
Uncle Cedric sighed again and said in a sorrow filled voice “It’s okay, I should have told Daniel about me being his father but when I asked if he recognized me he just said sorry no I can’t.”
“I’m not a parent but I am a kid and I do know that kids like having their parents talk to them, so did you ever talk to him when he was alive or did you just ignore him?” I asked dreading the answer. “I was a bad father and I know it” Uncle Cedric looked down and started speaking again “ I never played ball with him I would only bore him with science and engineering. I don’t think I ever said I love you to him either; but it is all over now. He doesn’t remember me and he would probably hate me anyway” he started to walk back to his room dragging his feet as a he went. He was still walking away from me and he said emotionlessly “I don’t mind if you want to play with him. Just be warned he will hurt you and he won’t remember you ever again.” With that Uncle Cedric walked away from view.
Next morning I went straight for the stairs that led to the attic as soon as I had gotten dressed, and I ran to the house through the rafters and yelled out “Daniel, Daniel, where are you? I have something to say to you that’s very important.”
“What is it Sophie?” I heard Daniel call back to me. “It’s about your father he’s my uncle, and he loves you. He told me he loves you and that he is sorry that he was a bad father. Daniel was looking at me and then he fell into me causing him to scratch my arm.
“Are you alright Daniel?” I asked concerned. He said he was fine and said I should go for to day and come back tomorrow. Before I left he gave me the ball we had played with. Daniel said “Thankyou for everything Sophie” he smiled one of those heart melting smiles at me and then I left.
The day was quiet without anything to do so I drew a picture of what I thought Daniel would look like if he were alive judging on his appearance as a ghost.
The day grew on and I was getting frustrated with my picture so I gave up on it and went to bed.
Next morning I went to the house to find he wasn’t there. I looked high and low for him and I suddenly smiled. Daniel had crossed over.
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