Why Are We Laughing? [One]

Adrian had been a part of the Conlee family as long as I could remember. The fact that he was their foster child was nearly non existent. I couldn’t bring myself to understand why he was being put back into the foster care system. They don’t want me anymore. Adrian’s words rang through my head, and yet I still was unable to comprehend them. Adrian never got into trouble, he wasn’t disrespectful. He was quiet and smart and kind—every couple’s dream child.

I wanted an answer, a sufficient answer as to why Adrian wasn’t good enough for the Conlees. What kind of sick people were they, to keep a child for more than five years, and then give him up as if he was a worthless possession? The worst part was, the Conlees weren’t like that—they weren’t cruel and heartless. In fact, they were one of the nicest families I have ever met, which only cut me deeper.

What I hated even more than what they were doing to Adrian was what they were doing to me. It was selfish of me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Adrian was leaving me behind. He was my only friend; we stuck together like Siamese twins. I could barley imagine my life before I had met Adrian.

“Junie? What are you thinking about?” Adrian asked quietly, as not to wake the rest of the house.

I sat on the floor of his bedroom in the dark, hugging my knees close to my chest. I shook my head as if to say Nothing. I was afraid to speak, as if my words might betray me.

“Juniper, I know you better than anybody else on this planet, even yourself. There’s something on your mind, I can tell.”

“What do you think, Adrian?!” I whispered harshly.

The room fell silent, save for a sniffle of Adrian’s nose. I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach as I watched him bury his head in his hands again. I hadn’t meant to snap at him. I didn’t know how to explain the fear I held, the anxiety racing through my body.

“I-I’m sorry.”

His words made stomach churn. He was apologizing to me. Hadn’t it been me who had made him cry? Then again, Adrian always had apologized first. He was always the bigger person. It wasn’t unusual for me to make Adrian cry. Not to say that Adrian was weak, quite the contrary; I was the weaker of the two. And yet, even when I had hurt Adrian, he would always apologize first.

“Adrian, don’t be a dumbass. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just…I don’t know.”

“You’re angry, I get it.” Adrian sighed heavily and turned his body away from me, signaling that the conversation was over.

I could read Adrian like a book. His eyes said it all, even when he hadn’t meant them too. After five years, it was impossible for Adrian to keep secrets from me for more than twenty-four hours. It wasn’t that he had a big mouth, not at all. His downfall was his eyes. And once I asked, Adrian couldn’t keep it from me.

“I’m not angry!” I claimed.

Adrian turned around, looking at me with a skeptical raised brow and smirk, as if to say, “Really, now?”

“Okay, I’m furious. But not at you, Adrian! At them. How could they do this, the people who claim to be your parents? They just throw you away like, like it means nothing. I don’t even understand why they’re doing this to me!”

Adrian scoffed, “To you, Junie? I’m the one their giving up, not you.”

My faced flushed, only for a second, at the misstep before I felt my cheeks grow warmer.

“It’s just that, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I whispered.

Although I wasn’t nearly as quiet as Adrian, I wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. Adrian had been my first and only real best friend. I had never imagined that he would leave. As naïve as it may be, I had this crazy idea that we would be best friends forever. We would go to the same college. He would be my best man, and I would be his maid of honor. Our children and grandchildren would have been best friends as well. In a million years, I never would have guessed that one day, we would part ways.

“Junie,” he cooed. “You are going to be fine, kay? I promise, everything will be alright. You have other friends here. What about that one girl in your Spanish class? She seems like a nice kid. Besides, I’m only in the foster system until I turn eighteen. You know that as soon as June 16th rolls around, I’ll be right back here in Newark, I promise you that.”

I nodded my head, attempting to comprehend. Somehow I still couldn’t believe the words he was telling me. My mother I had told me the same thing, “Things will still be the same between us.” And yet, the last time I had seen her had been my ninth birthday.

“And don’t you go comparing this to the time your Mom left. You know I could never do that, Junie.”

I chuckled softly at how Adrian had seemed to read my mind, although it hadn’t surprised me. Adrian always had an uncanny knack for knowing what people were thinking.

“Adrian, when—when are you leaving?” I asked quietly, not quite sure I wanted to know his answer.

He curtly turned his eyes away from mine, making my stomach turn.

His voice was barley audible above the sound of my violently pounding heartbeat, which I was sure even he could hear.

“T-Tomorrow.”