[[Outside Insanity]] - [[Part o6]]

She literally fell out the door.

With a grunt, she pushed herself back up and onto her feet, then resumed her attempt in pulling on her shoe. Her hair fell into her face as she did so.

He appeared in the doorway. He was shirtless and his pants sat on his hips, undone.

"I'm free at six. Is that alright with you?" He leaned against the doorframe.

"Yeah…" She panted, succeeding finally. "I'll be here." She kissed him one last time. "Don't be late."

"I won't be. I live here."

She smiled and ran off down the hallway, toward her appointment. He called her almost too late.

"Kayl!"

She turned and looked back at him. "What?"

He held out a pair of stringy navy blue underwear. "Don't you need these?"

"No, keep 'em." She smiled and slid down the banister to the next floor. He shrugged and disappeared back into his apartment.

Several hours later, the knock came at his door. She was pulled in by the hand.

After another half hour, another knock came. This one was unexpected.

He stopped mid-action and looked at the door. "What the hell?"

"Were you expecting someone?" She asked, her eyes closed.

"No." The knock came again.

Outside, a blonde was pounding. "Kakashi?" She called.

"Are you sure?" She asked again.

"Yeah."

Miku tried the door. It was unlocked.

Inside, Kayl whispered furiously. "You didn't lock the door?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone!" He hissed.

She pushed the door open. "What the hell…oh my God!" She gasped and turned away. "I did not just see that!"

Kayl yelped and pulled the sheet up to her collarbone. Kakashi turned his face away from the light in the hall. He was covered.

"Get dressed. Please." Miku pulled the door shut and waited in the hall.

Kakashi came out first, seething. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You were supposed to meet me at six! When you didn't show up I thought I'd come see what you were doing. I didn't expect that to be my best friend!"

He ran his hand down his face. "We didn't want people to know, okay? This is a private thing."

"Then don't leave the fucking door unlocked while you're doing it! You can't just assume no one's going to walk in on you!"

Kakashi sighed. "You're right. That was stupid. Just keep quiet, alright?"

"Hell no I will not keep quiet! You're in there screwing someone fourteen years younger than you! That woman mothered your child, you let her be for twenty years, and now you're right back on top of her! There's something severely wrong with that!"

Kayl poked her head out the door and into the conversation.

"Don't skulk in the corner; I want to talk to you, too." Miku spoke. "Come on." She turned back to Kakashi. "You can go, I'm done with you."

He went back inside, nuzzling Kayl's cheek on the way. She stepped into place before Miku.

"I thought you weren't together?" Miku was stone-faced.

"Well…I lied."

"How long?"

"Three years."

"Three years?"

"Yes."

"That means that the first time I'd asked you about your relationship with him, the day I told you I was pregnant with Kiki, you lied to me?"

"Yes."

"Why."

She sighed. "We wanted it quiet. We knew it'd be huge if anyone knew."

"So, when you were going over there that day, you were going to fuck him? Is that what I should be assuming here?"

"Yeah."

Miku sighed and closed her eyes. "Alright. Fine. You can go back to your fun." She walked away.

She pulled her shoes off at the door, slid her vest off her shoulders, threw it on its hook, and collapsed next to Shikamaru on the couch. He was reading.

"You took him to your parents'?" She asked snuggling into his shoulder.

"Yeah." He finished his paragraph and shut his book. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I got there and waited for half an hour, and he didn’t show, so I went to his place to see what he was doing."
"And?"

"It wasn't what he was doing, it was who."

"Who?"

"Kayl!"

"Kayl? I thought they weren't together?"

"Apparently not! They've been together for three years!"

"Damn."

"You're not getting ass from anyone when I'm not here, are you?"

"Yeah, I fuck Ino when you're not around. She looks like you, so I have to be careful to say the right name."

"Oh, shut up." Miku laughed.

Shika chuckled and rubbed Miku's shoulder. "You don't sleep around, do you?"

"Not around, no. Just with Kiba. He looks like you, so I have to be careful to say the right name."

Shika laughed openly. "Liar."

"No, really, I do." She looked him dead in the eyes.

He was speechless for a moment.

Miku laughed hysterically. "You're so gullible." She leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Oh, please. You screwing dog boy? You'd get nosed in the ass by one of his dogs, scream, and run away."

"That's why we don't have a dog."

"No, we don't have a dog because we have a two-year-old son."

"And because a dog couldn't compete with a tiger." Miku purred.

Shika looked at her askance. "You realize it's seven o'clock, right?"

"Hey, they were doing it at six thirty." She smirked.

Shikamaru set his book down on the coffee table. Miku watched him with an open-mouthed grin.

"Does this mean you're agreeing?"

"Does it not mean I'm disagreeing?"

"I hate double negatives."

"I know." He smirked.

It was the middle of the night. Miku lay awake.

"Y'know what really pisses me off?"

Shika scrunched his eyes shut.

"She can go and do this for three-"

"Oh my God!" Shika sat up.

"What?"

"It is two in the fucking morning! You got what you wanted, and I have to get up in three hours! Shut the hell up!"

Miku looked at him. He was breathing hard and staring down at her. After a moment, he growled and lay back down. Miku snorted and laughed at him.

He rolled over, glared at her, took one blanket, and got out of bed.

"No. You get back here." Miku took her pillow and pulled the blanket out of his hands. "You will not get up in time if you sleep out there. Back in bed."

He grumbled something under his breath as Miku left the room. She went to sleep on the couch.

Fifteen minutes later, she snuck back into the room. She usually had an easy time getting to sleep, so in lieu of that process, she thought she'd read. Trouble was, she'd left her book on her bedside table.

She managed to get into the room and get her book off the table before Shika mumbled "Get out." at her. She retreated back out of the room.

Shika's getting ready a few hours later woke her up. She heard the shower kick on first, which made the left side of her face twitch. She yawned widely and stretched, knocking her book off her lap, where it'd ended up no more than two hours before. She groaned and picked it up. She realized then that she detested sleeping on the couch. She threw her book on top of the shelf behind the couch and got up to start a pot of tea.

When he was finally ready to go, Miku met him at the door.

"Put this on." She handed him his vest. "Take this." She shoved a mug of steaming tea into his hands and kissed him. "And don't die today. Kiki will be home by noon." She ushered him out the door, where he slid on his shoes and scuffed away into the dawn.

Miku sighed and went back inside to her tea while she waited on the water to get warm again.

After several hours and another few mugs of tea, Miku found herself wandering down the streets toward Kayl's apartment. There were still things she wanted to know.

She didn't bother with knocking. She shouldered the lock open and shouted for Kayl. When she got no response, the started walking through the kitchen. A sneeze came from behind her and she turned.

"Damn." Kayl flipped down from the ceiling.

"You were hiding, weren't you?" Miku questioned.

Kayl sighed. "Yeah."

"Trying to avoid the third degree?"

Kayl turned and pulled up her shirt. "You see that?" she pointed to a scar across her lower back. "B-rank mission, four years ago. Those were third degree. I still don't have feeling there."

"Really?" Miku poked her.

"Yeah, not a thing." Kayl smirked.

"Coo-wait. You're distracting me."

"Hey, it worked for a few seconds." Kayl dropped her shirt. "Coffee?"

"Please." Miku shuffled into a chair at the kitchen table.

Kayl poured another cup and refreshed her own. She handed Miku the mug of black and sat across from her.

"Ask, go ahead. I know you want to interrogate me." Kayl sipped at her coffee.

"I want more of an explanation than interrogation."

"Alright, then. What do you want explained?"

"How did this start? I mean, this wasn't an overnight thing, was it?"

Kayl suppressed a laugh.

"Do not twist my words around on me! You know what I mean!"

"Yeah, I do." Kayl downed another gulp of coffee. "I suppose the real beginning was just after Aoi was born. It was her first overnight visitation, and she woke up in the middle of the night, bawling her eyes out. He couldn't get her to calm down, so he called me." She laughed absently to herself. "I had to rush over and get her quiet. When she finally went back to sleep, we started talking. Eventually, we started getting together for more than Aoi. I guess it escalated from there."

"'Started talking'? You're not the kind of person who starts talking with someone."

"Well, I had some obligation to. The whole 'father of my child' thing, y'know?"

"You don't follow obligations! You laugh in the faces of obligations! Spit on them as they run by! Liar…" Miku spat playfully.

"So it was for pleasure as much as business. Stab me."

"So you're saying you…helped this situation along a bit?"

"Let's say I wasn't quite as drunk as I let on twenty years ago." Kayl smirked and took another sip at her coffee.

"You played him like a shogi board, didn't you?" Miku exclaimed.

"And I had him eating out of the palm of my little calloused hand." She laughed.

"But you're not just keeping him around for that, are you? I mean, you do actually want a relationship, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course. I wouldn't stay around just for kicks. I managed by myself for the first seventeen years, it's not like I need him. I want him. You know how that goes."

Miku smiled. "Yeah, I do. But you really like him? You understand him and his hectic schedules and routines and everything? You'd be able to trust him out on a mission?"

"Now this is interrogation. Why the harsh questions all of a sudden?"

Miku sighed and tapped the side of her mug. "You know how I am. I'm really overprotective and I don't like my friends getting hurt. I just want to make sure this relationship isn't going to end up like every other one you've had. I mean, first your mom, then Kankuro, then your dad. Even we've gone through tough spots. I love you like I love Tori, and I want you to be happy."

"But he does make me happy, Miku. You can't really compare him to my parents and Kankuro. I never knew my mother, Dad never played a major role in my life, he tried, sure, but he never really knew me. And Kankuro, well, I think both of us were in that for fun. It never got emotionally serious. I know you're just trying to help me out, but it's okay. If it falls apart, I'll tell you. I promise." Kayl smiled at her reassuringly.

"Okay." Miku finished her coffee and looked at the clock. "I've gotta go. I need to pick Kiki up from Shika's parents." She stood and put her mug in the sink. "I'll talk to you later."

"Alright." Kayl downed her coffee as Miku left. The clock only read nine thirty.

"Stop, stop! It's eleven thirty, I have to go!" a feminine voice cooed.

"Aw, you can be a little late, can't you?" He attacked her neck with kisses again.

"No, I can't be. I have to go. Come on, get off me." She pushed him away.

"Alright." He let her go. She collected her things.

"Later." She kissed him again and left.

"Mommy!" A little boy called. He ran across the lawn toward the woman coming across it.

"Hi, baby!" She caught him and swung him onto her hip. "Did you have a good time with Gramma and Grampa?"

He nodded vigorously. "Grampa took me to see the deers!"

"He did! Well, that was nice!" She set him down again. "Go get your stuff from Gramma." He ran off to take his bag from her. She walked behind him.

"Thanks for watching him." Miku ruffled her son's blonde hair. "He wasn't too much trouble, I hope."

"No, no. We love having our little sunshine here!" The older woman said.

"Well, thanks anyway. Tell Shikaku I said hello."

"Of course, hun. Goodbye, Kiki!"

"Bye, Gramma!" He waved and took his mother's hand as they walked away.

That night, Miku paced the living room full of stress. Shikamaru sat reading in his usual place. Haruki had been put to bed. She strode between the couch and the wall, ranting.

"I mean, I don't blame her for wanting some kind of companionship. She's never really had an unconditional relation - wait." She stopped behind Shika, who was still engrossed in his text. "Do you understand what this means?"

He kept reading.

"Shikamaru!"

Still no response.

"Hey! You aren't even listening!" She picked up a pillow from the floor and threw it at him. He ducked it and it hit harmlessly against the wall.

"She's seen his face!" She almost shouted. "His face! You know, his big secret! Holy shit!' She emphasized.

"Whoo." Shika twirled his finger in the air unenthusiastically.

"You mean you've never wondered even a little bit what he looks like? Come on!"

"Never saw where it mattered." He kept reading.

"Ugh. What time is it?" Miku ran her hand through her hair.

Shika looked at his watch. "Eight."

"Alright. I'll be back home by ten thirty." Miku grabbed her coat and pulled her shoes on, leaving down the front steps.

There was a knock at the door. He opened it quietly.

"Hey, are you busy?" the voice outside asked.

"No, come in." He rubbed the back of his neck and stepped out of the way for her.

"You look tired." She said. He wore a white wife beater that clung to his chest and gray flannel pants.

"You sound it. Come here." He held out his arms to her. She melted into him and he held her, stroking her hair. She inhaled the scent at his collar bone.

"Why do you always smell like rain?" She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder.

"For the same reason you always smell like snow." He kissed her head. "Why're you here?"

"What, I need a reason now?"

"No, you just don't usually show up after eight.

"I just needed someone to talk to."

"Well then let's talk." He pulled her to his bed and sat next to her. "What's the matter?"

She sighed and looked at him. "I don't know if I can do this any more."

"What? Us?"

"No, no." she took his hand. "I love you, you know that. It's just…I want to leave."

"Then leave, there's nothing stopping you."

"You don't get it, do you? I have a kid, alright? A kid that's still young and still needs me as a mother. I can't just go."

"I understand hun, really. I could be a good dad, you know that."

"I know, but it'd be strange, I think. It wouldn't make sense."

"We can't keep us a secret forever, y'know. They'll need to know eventually."

"But not now. Please." She begged.

"No. Shh. We won't say anything until you're ready to. Calm down." He kissed her. "It'll be okay, babe. I promise."

"Don't promise." She sat up on her knees and crawled into his lap.

"Why not?" He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Because I have a thing for making men break their promises." She kissed him hard and passionately. He kissed back.

The next morning, she woke to the light filtering in the curtained window. She smiled for a moment, then looked down at his alarm clock. The display read 8:24.

"Shit!" Her eyes got wide. She rolled off the bed and started pulling on her clothes faster than she could ever remember pulling them on in her life. As she pulled her hair out of the back of her shirt, he stirred.

"Hey, baby." He groaned. "What's the rush?" He sat up and ruffled his hair.

She darted out of his bathroom with his hairbrush in hand. "I was supposed to be back home last night and I totally forgot." She combed the knots from the back of her head. "I've gotta get there."

"Well firstly, you need to slow down. Do you have everything?"

"Uhm…clothes, coat, decent enough hair, shoes…" She patted her pocket. "Keys. Yeah, I think so."

"Underwear? This wouldn’t be the first time a pair of sexy little red panties got left on a lampshade."

"Yes, I've got them. And that pair wasn't red, it was black."

"Whatever. You're wearing red ones now."

"How very observant of you, but really. I need to go." She stepped over his pile of clothes and kissed him. "I don't know when I'll be able to get back."

"Not for a while. I'm going out on a mission tonight."

"You are? Do you have any idea how long you'll be gone?"

"A couple weeks, at least. Maybe a month, I'm not exactly sure."

"Well, I'll see you when you get back, then." She kissed him again and made for the door.

"Bye!" He waved at her as she left.

Miku snuck back into the house quietly. In all hope, Shika would still be asleep. She walked silently through the living and dining rooms and came to stand in the kitchen.

"You didn't come home last night." Shikamaru spoke from the table.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Where were you?"

"I was at Kayl's. I lost track of time and fell asleep on her couch."

"You haven’t showered, either. Wouldn't you usually if you were at her place?"

"I just wanted to come home. I'm going to go right now."

"Alright."

Miku left the room and took a shower. Twenty minutes later, she reentered the room with her half-asleep son in her arms. "I'm gonna take Kiki. I don't know when I'll be home."

Shikamaru didn't respond.

Miku shook her head and left.

After several minutes, she got to where she wanted to go. She knocked on the door and shifted Haruki on her hip. He was more awake now.

The door eased open to a brunette man.

"What time are you leaving tonight?"

"Ten thirty, eleven. Why?"

"You said you could be a good dad. Show me you can be." She turned to her son. "Are you awake yet?" She tickled his stomach. He giggled and nodded. "You're going to stay with Mommy's friend today."

"Oh, Miku! Come on." He protested.

Miku handed the toddler off to him. "No excuses. Just introduce yourself and play with him. He's a good kid. He'll be fine." She handed him a diaper bag, as well. "I'll come pick him up later." She kissed her son first, then his babysitter. "Bye, baby."

The two replied at the same time. It came out as a mush of "Bye, babe." and "Goodbye, Mommy." She smiled, waved, and walked away.

"Well, kid. Looks like it's you and me today, eh?" He looked at Haruki and closed the door to his apartment.

Miku wandered toward Kayl's apartment. A note had been tucked between the door and the frame, addressed to her.

She sighed. "Damn it." She dug the keys out of her pocket and stole into Kayl's apartment, locking the door behind herself. She tossed the note down on the kitchen table and made for the bathroom. Here, she popped a couple of aspirin for her headache and looked in the mirror. She seemed to have aged a bit over the last few days. She ignored the bags under her eyes and left the bath, going into Kayl's bedroom and curling up on her bed for a few hours.

She awoke again at a little after three that afternoon. She laid there for a bit longer, then got up and wrote her friend a note.

She left it on the table with Kayl's note and left to pick up her son.

"Oh, thank God it's you! He's asleep right now." The man on the other side of the door said.

"I'm gonna take him home. Thanks for watching him." Miku edged her way inside and took up her child and his things.

"Of course. He was no trouble." He smiled.

"I'm sure he wasn't." She kissed him and left.

Back at home, Miku sat in the living room reading while Haruki played on the floor. Shikamaru came home for little more than dinner, then left again for a run and din't come back until after ten.

So things went for a few weeks, until finally Miku made him stay for more than just a meal.

"Shikamaru, this really is important. Please."

"If it's so important, then tell me." He didn't seem pleased to be being stalled.

"Shika, I'm pregnant."

"Y…you are?" He blinked.

"Yeah…and it's not yours." She looked at him for a response.

"What?"

"This baby isn't yours." She repeated.

"Well, if it isn't mine, who's is it?"

"You remember when I told you Kayl was with Kakashi? And then I asked you if you were having an affair?"

"Yeah, of course." He crossed his arms.

"Well, when I told you I was sleeping with Kiba, I wasn't kidding. It's his."

Shikamaru looked at her with abhorrence in his eyes. He said nothing, and walked away from her and into the dimming sunlight of the Konoha streets.
She didn't bother going after him.