*The Color Of Hunger* Begins 01

Staring out the window and watching the scenery change before my eyes was not something I wanted to be doing my last week of summer vacation. I especially did not want to be watching it change for good, knowing that I wouldn’t be back on the beach for at least another two years, and knowing it was all Freddie’s fault I was forced to move so far away from my favorite place on the planet.

My ignorant and annoying older brother had decided to transfer colleges this past spring, forcing me to tag along because he was my legal guardian. My parents had died in a car accident three years ago, leaving just Freddie and me to care for each other.

We lived with my Gram’s, taking care of her and the house until both became impossible. She had a stroke the year before, and then fell down, breaking her hip and lower back. She was completely depleted because of the extent of her injury.

It didn’t take long for things to get so hard that Freddie decided to take action, and the best way to make things better was a change of scenery, new places and new people.

Needless to say I was completely against it, wanted no part of this, and would rather live with my Gram’s at her nursing home then move to Lewiston Maine, home of Bates College. He had plans to finish his previous major… psychology.

Uh, this was going to be a long two years. That’s all I had to endure, two years and then I’d be out on my own and heading off to the college of my choice. It was going to be anywhere with sunshine and a beach, that much I can say.

“Are you sure we have to do this?” I groaned to Freddie. I made it my responsibility to moan and complain about his recent decision at adventure. He’d had others before this, sky-diving (which I did not do), surfing, open water fishing, mountain hiking, but none were this extreme; none involved moving so far north that it…ugh…snowed.

I cringed.

“Do what, move into another lane?” he replied sarcastically, casting me that look I hated, when he sparkled his gray eyes and winked. I leaned down further into the seat, sinking into oblivion. At least, that’s what I was striving for.

“You’re such a moron.”

He shook it off as he had been doing with many of my insults lately. “Are you 'PMSing' or something?” he asked, which only made me more irritated then I was when we hit South Carolina.

“Excuse me?” was the only thing I could think of saying.

He shrugged and turned his attention back to the road. “Sorry, it’s the only logical explanation for your hostel behaviors.”

“It is not,” I scoffed, trying my hardest to remain calm and composed. It was always a struggle with Freddie around. I needed to have control, to have things in order, but he ruined them and enjoyed making messes. “There could be other reasons too, you know.”

“Like what, do you have to pee? I mean, really, if you have to go all you need to do is say something.” Freddie said with a smile.

“You’re so ignorant.” I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear. I wasn’t normally this evil, but I had every reason to be. My brother was forcing me to leave the only home I ever knew, the only place I had in the world. Where I felt connected to Mom and Dad.

It was Daytona Beach, my beach. I couldn’t leave it, but here I was, sitting in this car doing just the impossible.

And we were leaving, for what? A change of pace, a new school, so what? What could any of it accomplish? I knew from the start that I was destined to be miserable as long as I stayed.

“It’s okay, I know you love me.” he sounded so assured, so confident that I did love him. Oh, but right now, I hated him with every living, breathing cell in my body.

“I do not.”

“Ah. Now she’s using denial, that’s quite interesting.”

“Stop analyzing me Fredrick.” I whimpered, trying to lay my head somewhere comfortable in this dinky car of his.

“How does my analyzing you make you feel, Charlie?”

I whipped my head and glared at him, ready to rip out his throat. “It makes me feel annoyed, that’s what.”

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and stared at the road in concentration, thinking about my answer and no doubt trying to link me with some sort of mental disorder. As of now, he hasn’t been able to pin one on me because I never fit the criteria perfectly.

But I knew that he’d find one soon enough.

“And what do you suppose, makes you feel so annoyed?” he asked with a serious tone, still maintaining eye contact with the road. There wasn’t much to pay attention too, cars were a sight to see in the mountains of West Virginia. I was almost longing to reach our destination, finally being able to stretch out my legs and plop down on my mattress to sleep the week away.

“You.”

“Harsh,” he held his hand over his heart, acting like he was in real pain. If he wasn’t going to be a psychologist then I’d suggest he’d be an actor, he was good at faking.

I shrugged, showing my apathetic attitude.

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you tried to shove back the ‘bite me’ attitude. You might surprise yourself and actually make some friends.”

I snapped my eyes off the road and gave him a twisted glare. That was truly harsh, much more then what I had been. It was uncalled for, simply uncalled for.

“Thanks for the advice Mister. Blond-haired-soccer-brains, but I’m sure I can handle myself.”

He left my gaze and snorted, switching to the left lane and passing a slow moving burgundy Oldsmobile with an elderly man driving. Must be nice for him, he didn’t have to ride with the moron that I had to ride with.

“I didn’t meant that, just, maybe you should try to start over, gain some new experiences, embrace new things…”

I cut him off. “I don’t want to embrace new things, including the snow that comes with it.”

“You’ve never even seen snow.” He countered, but I kept up, this argument already recited and planned to my head to perfection, just in case I happened to meet someone who actually enjoyed the icky white stuff.

“I don’t want too either. It’s wet, cold, and melts. What is there to like?”

“A lot of people like snow, Charlie.”

“Yeah, and a lot of people like violence, war, lies and porn. But that doesn’t make them nice or good.”

Freddie rolled his eyes, way to be overdramatic, and switched back into the right lane. “You know, you’re opinion isn’t the only one that exists.” He said grudgingly.

“It should be.”

I could tell now that he was getting annoyed with me, even more then I had been with him, and I was enjoying it. It was one of the things I was assigned to do as the younger sibling…to irritate the older one until they snapped.

“You have a serious confidence problem, you know that Charlie?” he said angrily, sending me wheeling back for a brief second. I recovered before he saw the shock.

“Oh, I do?”

“Yes, that’s why you’re so stubborn and insulting, because it makes you feel better about yourself. Well, you want to know something, it makes you look like a stuck up, stubborn brat of a girl and that’s why no one wants to be around you!”

When he finished yelling, I shut up. Freddie was never like this. I guess that I went over the top and feelings of guilt emerged, but I choked them down, unwilling to admit to a thing.

He was forcing me to move, it was his fault.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly after looking at me. He has a way of easily scanning my face and seeing the emotions on them as if they were being spelled out for him, no matter how clean I kept my face. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t care what you say, or any one else for that matter.” I said with a choke in my throat. I stiffened up and toned down my emotions, holding them in until later.

“I’m sorry Char…”

“Just shut up,” I stopped him, making sure there was no give in my voice, making it firm and apathetic. “and leave me alone for the next two years.”