What just happened? I feel like as if my world is crumbling. I don't know what to do. Go on with my life or open up and tell the truth, like as if I'm unafraid of the threats? Like as if someone would save me or something? Psssh-yea right! Like who would save me? I regret being a bitch today. Hell, I regret a lot of thi-- I don't think I want to meet him. Bye... M.D. I feel like dying. He keeps coming to me and I don't want him. Again, I feel bad. I don't even know if I'm still pregnant. I don't want to know. Because I might as well commit suicide than hold his child inside of me. Just thinking about it makes me sick to the pit of my core. I wanted to kill him. Was that a way of saying he's breaking up with me? I doubt it. He calls. Tells me 'I love you' like as if I was still his and Phil's at the same time. Like bulls.h.i.t. It's a game they're playing, both of them. I feel like as if my world is crumbling. I don't know what to do. Go on with my life or open up and tell the truth, like as if I'm unafraid of the threats? Like as if someone would save me or something? Psssh-yea right! Like who would save me? I regret being a bitch today. Hell, I regret a lot of thi-- Dear Diary, I love you all. Well, actually, I only love Glen and Lyla. The rest can go burn and decompose in Hell for all I care.
She comes and tells me "Help me" and then she runs off like as if she regretted saying that?
I want to help her. But what the hell was that?
When I opened my locker after school before going home, a white piece of paper fell out and onto the floor. I kneeled down and picked it up. I was going to wait until I get home to open it or else I was going to miss my bus.
* * *
Dear Diary,
"What are you doing?!"
"Leave me alon--"
Slap. Another slap.
"Writing in your precious diary, are you, idiot? Where is it?!"
"I don't have a diary!"
"Then what are you mumbling about!? Does talking to yourself make you feel good?" Mock. Oh, it was just some joke.
"Go away!"
"Honey, not even Devin can keep me away." Mocking laugh. Ripped clothing.
"Don't--"
"Don't you love it? Love it! It's supposed to make you feel good!" Rage.
"NO!" Tears.
"You're pregnant with my baby. But he won't last long if I kill his mother..." The voice trails off. Cries erupt from within her body.
"No..." Pain. So much pain.
"Then f.u.c.k me, whore. f.u.c.k me like you've never f.u.c.ked anyone before. f.u.c.k me like...like I'm Devin."
She was on the floor. She was bleeding when he finally left her to cry in the darkness after having raped her like a mad man. He ripped her this time and it hurt...so much. She wouldn't be surprised if she lost the baby...
Dear Diary,
I hope I die. And when I die, I'm bringing everyone with me, including...
* * *
"Isn't Maryse coming? She loves Bullet For My Valentine!" I exclaimed when Glen and I were about to leave to go to the concert several towns from here. It was tomorrow though, so we had enough time.
"She ain't coming," he said in a dark voice as he got in and I followed suit, "So we'll be good by ourselves. We'll forget this and enjoy our valentine's present. Of course, there's more than that..." He turned to me and grinned sexily. I laughed and blushed hard.
"Geeze. You bad, bad boy," I laughed and he smirked.
"Mmhmm. That hotel idea doesn't seem so bad. I thought we could sleep in the car, see what it's like... But, a hotel definitely sounds exciting then we can try in the car anyw--"
"Glen!" I exclaimed, my face heated up like it was the sun itself. But I laughed.
But dear god, it was the funnest weekend I have ever spent in my life!
"Did I forget to mention that we have the front row seats and...backstage passes?" Glen said happily as he showed me two other tickets, but these were backstage passes.
I love this boy!
"REALLY!?" I squealed in joy and tackled him to the floor in our hotel room. He laughed hard and I kissed him as he held me there, "I can't believe it!!"
"You really love tackling people, don't you?" he laughed and I nodded my head, "And tomorrow, before we head to the concert, I'm going to go get a tattoo done on my wrist." I looked at him wide-eyed, loving the idea because it'd look good, I'm sure. Guys with tattoos are just sexy.
"What do you want tattooed?" I asked him and he battered his eyelashes at me.
"I want your name in Chinese printed on my wrist," he replied, blushing slightly. I hugged him.
"Glen..." I marvelled and kissed him numerous times, "You're so sweet. Why are you so damn cute?" I laughed and he rolled and I was now under him.
"It's your fault. You made me this way," he laughed, "If you wouldn't be my girlfriend, I'd be watching you and stalking you all the time until you say yes." I laughed and playfully punched his shoulder.
"Idiot. I love y--"
But he never let me finish my phrase when he kissed me.
* * *
"Oh! Fancy meeting you here!" Devin exclaimed at the concert as he tapped me on the shoulder and I whirled around to come face to face with him and I almost screamed.
"DEVIN?!" By then, Glen had heard me and turned around also. I saw the look that passed between the two but I ignored it.
"Where's Maryse?" Glen asked and Devin shrugged.
"She didn't want to come. Said something about having a weekend with her friends," he shrugged yet again and smiled widely, "Great show, huh!?"
I bet she lied to him. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow...
"...Would she hear me, if I called her name? Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?" Matt Tuck sang, which is the singer of the band, to the song Tears Don't Fall.
I just got that part so far and it made me think of Maryse. Then I thought: She must have told Devin something. Maybe he knows.
"Hey Devin!" I exclaimed over the loud music. "What's wrong with Maryse anyway? She's not herself." He looked at me blankly.
"We'll save conversation for later! I can't hear you well!" he exclaimed and shrugged as he watched the band play.
Geeze, what's with everyone? I have the impression he doesn't want to talk about her.
But we didn't see him after show. He vanished some time during the show and no one noticed. Strange. But since when is Devin not? We're all strange.
"So, let's go meet the band," Glen grinned widely as his eyes sparkled and he grabbed my hand. I nodded my head, feeling jittery and nervous.
We passed the security with permission and we were standing in a red velvetty room. The band was coming inside.
"Yo," Matt said with a dashing grin as he nodded at us and they all sat down. Moose was opening a can of beer then took more to hand out to his pals.
"So, did you like the show?" Tuck asked and I nodded, looking stupid but since when do I not?
I don't think this night can get any better.
* * *
"So how was it?! HOW WAS THE CONCERT?!" Jennika was practically demanding and shaking me like an insane person, "You MET them, DIDN'T you?! Oh my godddddd!" She was going crazy on Monday morning when I arrived and sat with her. I didn't want to tell her though that she could have come because there was an extra ticket. She would kill me. Literally.
"Very good. And yes. They're cool," I nodded my head and she grabbed me by the collar.
"Good? GOOD?!" she boomed and shook her head, letting me go in the process, "At least you went! I would have died!" I just laughed.
"So, with Glen... I imagine what Valentine's Day was like..." she cooed and smirked. I looked at her, choking on my chocolate milk, and blushed bright red.
"What about you? Did you give Justin anything? He is in our Art class. I can always go and as--"
We had changed semester. Jen is in my Art class in second period. And for some odd reason, Lex is in all my others.
So, meeting him on the way there unfortunately, I glared at him. "Why are you in almost all my classes? Are you some stalker?"
"It just so happens we took the same classes. What's the surprise?" he said with a grin and I eyed him suspiciously. This guy was so weird, "You know you love seeing me all the time." I snorted.
"Yea, seeing the teacher give you detention or seeing your face when I insult you," I laughed and he glared at me and mocked a hurt look as he put his hand on his heart.
"That hurt. I love you and you despise me," he sighed melo-dramatically. I stared at him and just laughed hard.
[*]
Eventually, February dragged on. It was boring, except for when Glen took me out to places. The snow was melting more and more and the sun was becoming a bit warmer. He took me to the carnival in mid-March, since it now opened inside a giant building.
"Glen!" I exclaimed as he won me a teddy bear.
"Hey, you loverbirds!" I heard a familiar voice say as we turned around and met with Devin and Maryse, who had just arrived, "Fancy meeting you two here."
"Yea right. We convinced you to come," Glen laughed and looked at his sister. She looked ill, to put it easily. I think she caught a cold or something. Her nose was all red and I wouldn't be surprised because it's the best time of the year to catch something. I also caught a slight cold but nothing serious. "You feeling alright? Maybe you shouldn't have come."
"I'm okay. Just a cold. I wouldn't have missed this for the world," she replied and faked a smile. I stared at her, and she looked at me briefly, almost regretfully as she tugged on Devin's hand and motioned at the big roller coaster.
"Let's all go on the roller coaster!" Devin exclaimed in ecstasy as he tugged Mary and they ran for it. We laughed and ran after them, loving the idea.
Maryse went home after that. Claimed the ride made her sicker. We watched her go and Glen sighed sadly as he brought me down for some cotton candy.
"I want to find out what's wrong. It better not be Devin because I'll-- I'll..." he sighed again, not wanting to say anything terrible, "Do you want to stay?" He looked at me. "Because it pretty much crashed my good mood." I shrugged and kissed him anyway.
So we went home.
* * *
On March 21st, a friday, Glen called me. "Listen, I can't go over tonight," he told me sadly and I frowned, deeply disappointed. We planned to just sit out, watch movies, eat popcorn and...other things.
"Why?" I asked, trying to mask my obvious disappointment. I've spent a boring week without him, except for the phone calls, and we had planned this. Ugh. This sucks!
"Something came up and well... Tomorrow?" he asked and I nodded, contented that I would at least see him, "Lyla?"
"Hm?" I asked, surprised at the soft way he said my name.
"I love you. Madly," he said softly, almost with pain in his voice and he was about to hang up. I became alert.
"Wait! Glen? What are you doing tonight?"
"I love you." And he hung up.
s.h.i.t. What the hell is he up to?!
* * *
"So, everything's ready?" a voice asked and the female replied, smirking brightly, "Good. I love you, darling." She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I love you..."
. . .
At Glen's house, he was busy getting ready. Maryse was in her room, getting ready also. They were going to some sort of party.
"You ready?" Glen called outside her door and opened her door without waiting for a reply. Maryse let out a cry of fright as she shuffled and threw something away before he could see what it was, "Why don't you tell me what's wrong? You're so...edgy these days. You're scared and...bruised?!" His eyes went wide when he saw her bare legs that she hadn't had time to put pants on yet. There were some on her chest and her arms, something a tank top couldn't cover.
"GET OUT!" she screamed and stood up and literally kicked him out of the room, "I'll be out in a sec."
"If you don't commit suicide first," he replied glumly and leaned against the wall, a million things going through his head. His eyes were dark and the anger was about to rise like a volcano. Bruises. If Devin had anything to do with thi--
"I'm ready, @sshole," she growled as she came out of her room, glaring at him as she nudged past him, "I heard what you said. Take it back."
"What else am I supposed to think?" he rolled his eyes and they went inside his car to go to the party down at the forest. No one would hear the music, thankfully, which is why they were doing it there. Sad to say he ditched his night with Lyla to go there but he had his reasons.
"We're going to die tonight, Glen," Maryse suddenly spoke up when they were approaching the trail that led inside the forest to the camp. He looked at her sharply, his mouth open in shock and wanted to demand why but nothing came out.
"Wh--"
"They're going to kill us."
"Why are you saying that?" he asked her softly, in shock and stiff with emotions going through his body, "It's just a part--"
"They're waiting." She was looking straight ahead and he followed her gaze. They were but they had beers in their hands and big smiles. There were at least six of them. Even Phil was here. His eyes went wide when he saw him, the tallest of them all and looked somewhat drunk.
"If what you're saying is tr--"
"Just be prepared, okay?!" she snapped and put on a fake smile as Glen reluctantly stopped the car, having second thoughts about his night with Lyla. Why couldn't Maryse have said something earlier?! They could have avoided this party. She sounded so serious...so right. The atmosphere was...dark.
"Hey!" Glen said happily as he parked the car and hopped out, high-fiving his old friends. Maryse came and Devin wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her close but didn't kiss her. Glen studied her for a flickering moment and she looked like an empty doll. A shell.
"Yo man! Now the party can really start! Took you long enough," Phil laughed as he put his arm around Glen's shoulder, mostly to steady himself because he was piss drunk. But Glen had a bad feeling too, and as much as he wanted to run, he wanted to know what the f.u.c.k was going on.
Maryse...
"So... Drink up!" Phil yelled happily as Peter went to put on the music. There was a bond fire in the middle of a clearing and many people were huddled around it, looking...odd. But Glen didn't drink, mainly because he was driving.
Mainly because he wanted to be sober if anything terrible happens. Mainly because he feared they would spike his drink up with drugs or something. Something lethal, to put it easily.
"No thanks." Glen said but he eyed his sister in shock when she started drinking, literally taking shots, one after another. Like as if she wanted to be numb, to be knocked out. To die. "Maryse...stop." He stepped towards her but she turned to him, her eyes glassy and her face flushed, she gave him the middle finger.
"f.u.c.k off!" she hissed and glared at him before resuming her repetitive shots of alcohol. He glared at her and someone tapped him on the back and stood there, laughing like an idiot.
"There's no use stopping her when she starts, you know," Devin laughed and sighed happily. Glen fired and suddenly had Devin by the collar, practically spitting in his face.
"What the hell did you do to her, you bastard! She wasn't like this before you showed up!" he spat, ready to murder Devin right on the spot. Devin put his hands up. Glen never noticed the people behind him, holding weapons. Baseball bats, metal pipes, etc...
"Okay, the joke is over," Phil suddenly yelled, now completely sober like as if he had pretended to be drunk all this time. Everyone else too, for that matter. Glen got a sudden dangerous warning vibe throughout his body. He looked at Maryse and she was laughing. He gave her a look and she just laughed.
"Hey, he wants to know what's going on!" Devin yelled, pulling himself out of Glen's grip. He was frozen, suddenly scared all of a sudden. They looked evil. The full moon glared through the fire's smoke.
Maybe they really were going to die.
"Hey, Maryse," Phil called, keeping his evil eyes on Glen with a smirk, an evil smirk. She looked at him, not laughing anymore but looked completely lifeless, a glaring doll.
"What the f.u.c.k do you want?!" she hissed and everyone was taken aback a moment at her sudden outrage. She was completely drunk, maybe that's what made her speak up. She never talked back, ever. Never. Not Maryse, she was a doll.
"What?" Phil asked, his face in complete shock from her having spoken to him like that. Then he glared. "I'll ignore that and why don't you give your brother a demonstration of what we do here on special nights, ones like this?" She huffed and started laughing hysterically again.
"Sorry, but as much as I'd like to, I'd much rather stuff my fist in your throat at the moment." And she laughed again.
"Why don't you try?!" he snapped as he suddenly stalked towards her and grabbed her by the throat. Glen suddenly lunged forward but at least five guys suddenly jumped on him, pinning him and keeping him from going to kill Phil. Maryse just stared at him, drunk and unafraid.
"Shouldn't you explain what your real intentions are, Phillipine?" she smirked smugly, not knowing what she was getting herself into. Glen wanted to shout to her to shut up, to calm down, to explain what this was all about. Phil smirked.
"No, I won't explain. I'll show everyone," he said and in a flash of bloody red, Maryse had a slash made by a knife on her throat. Glen screamed and Maryse managed to laugh, a gurgling sound that almost seemed to come from the wound itself, "It's about time I did that. I've had such an urge ever since I met you, whore." Then he stabbed her in the heart, in the stomach, in her thighs, and God forbid, somewhere he never should have. Her screams erupted before she went silent and limp, dead.
Glen couldn't believe this. He wanted to scream, to run away and to kill every single one of these bastards. He wanted to, God forbid, laugh at these mother f.u.c.kers who dared. Who dared kill his sister. He was hysteric. He had sadistic, smug thoughts. Invincible.
"So you see, you know too much. We had every intention of disposing of you two tonight. So it's your turn, friend," Phil said and Glen's thoughts evaporated when they all jumped on him and started beating the s.h.i.t out of him, "You like f.u.c.king my little sister, Glen? I hope you called her to tell her that you love her. And that you'll sadly never see her again."
Satisfied that Glen had stopped breathing, not knowing that Glen was hopelessly faking it, they carried him out to the middle of the forest and left him there to rot and die. Or to be fed to the wild animals. They laughed as they left and Glen barely managed to open his bruised, bleeding eyes to see the full moon burning brightly, like as if, it too, felt hope that he would survive.
But he cried like he never cried before. In pain. In regret. In hopelessness. In pity because he might never see Lyla ever again...
* * *
Eating a bowl of ice cream at eight o'clock on Saturday morning, not knowing why I was even up that early, I turned on the TV and started switching channels, never satisfied with what I came up with. Until the screen went blank and made me cough on my ice cream.
"We interrupt this program with a live video footage of a tragedy," the woman said in a sad voice as the wind shook the trees behind her. Then people showed up on screen and I felt I knew them. I couldn't place them. They looked like Phil's age...
"What happened?" the woman asked and the guy was crying, shaking and trembling, looking panicked.
"The thing--It killed my friend!" he shouted hysterically and started waving his hands, "The bear just showed up and started attacking us! We were just waking from having a party in the woods and we get an early visitor. Our friend--Glen Dawson--was so brave that he tried to stop the bear from chasing us. But it killed him!" He was crying and I felt my heart squeeze like it never squeezed before and my blood ran deadly cold. I felt light-headed as the ice cream bowl shattered on the floor.
He guy went on. "Then this hunter appeared. While Glen's sister, Maryse, was trying to distract the bear, the hunter tried to shoot the bear--there's this cabin not far from where we were and he showed up with a rifle--but he missed and shot Maryse! Then the bear ate her too!" He was losing it. He looked so panicked...so panicked that something felt wrong with this. But I wasn't paying attention. My heart was going into cardiac arrest, barely pumping.
Glen... Maryse... Glen!
I was bawling. "GLEN! GLEN! HOW COULD YOU?! You told me you loved me! And you got yourself killed!" I cried and cried, my mother and father running downstairs in distress when they heard me. They merely touched my shoulder when I screamed and ran out of the house in my PJ's, running and tripping and I collided with the rocky paved road. I scraped my hands and knees, I bled but I got up and ran again.
Maybe this was a joke... Why the hell would they announce that on live TV?! Those f.u.c.king morons! I should freaking sue them! Taking people's deaths as their big break. I could kill them right now.
I ran to Glen's house. His parents weren't home; they always worked on weekends. They always worked period. They probably haven't even heard the news yet. How devastated they would be--not.
I let myself inside their strangely cold and abandoned house using the key they left under the mat on the back porch. I walked upstairs slowly, taking everything in, feeling like my heart had abandoned by body. My mind was reeling.
A bear? We barely have bears in the woods. Hunters chased them out... Something was wrong.
I went in Glen's room and frowned when I saw it was empty. What was I expecting? Him to show up and scream 'BOO!'? I lay down on his bed and sobbed some more. For him. For Maryse. For the secrets she kept to herself. For him, because I had loved him with all my heart, had given him everything... He had returned everything. Had given me so much more than I needed. It wasn't fair. I HATE life!
I fell asleep on his bed, still keeping the burning hopes alive that he would return and I would wake up in his arms, that this had been a nightmare. Dead god...
. . .
"Lyla... Lyla... Listen to me," came a familiar female voice and I opened my eyes in my dream. I was lying under a tree, had been merely resting with the gentle breeze, the wonderful smell of the garden of flowers surrounding me. I saw Maryse standing in front of me with a pretty coral patterned blouse with a white tank-top underneath. She was wearing a navy plaid skirt and heels. I never saw her like this before. She looked happy.
"Maryse?"
"Find my diary. It's underneath a weird tile on the floor. Find it and read it..." she said and she was slowly fading.
"Maryse--Are you--dead? Is Glen dead?" I cried, jerking up from the bed in Glen's room and cursed for having woken myself up when she was about to answer me but faded and the light outside was brighter. It was around noon or so.
"Diary...!" I gasped and shot up from the bed, almost crashing to the floor in dizziness. But I sped to her room and searched the floor for a different tile. Something weird, out of the ordinary, maybe misplaced...
Where the hell was it?! And I spotted it. I saw the jagged edge, which is probably how she lifted the tile, with a knife or something. I looked for a knife or a pen and found one on her computer desk. Literally digging it in, I tried lifting the tile. It came up smoothly and I looked through and found a diary with feathers and Maryse's name on it. And it wasn't even locked.
I sat on her bed and opened it, then decided against it when I heard a car turn into the driveway. If they found me here--
So I ran downstairs and disappeared through the back door just as the Dawsons came in through the front door, probably wondering why the door was unlocked. I put the key under the mat and ran for it. Ran for home. No, not home. Worried parents would be stuck to me like a fly against honey. Or a bee against the honey... So I ran to the park and sat on a swing as I opened the diary and started reading the freaking dictionary.
She's had this thing since sixth grade. It was huge. She would stuff papers in there and it was thick. Maybe that's why she doesn't lock it. It wouldn't close.
But I didn't want to waste my time knowing about her past. I was looking for the past months. So I shuffled through many pages, near the end until I found one date highlighted with pink marker on the white sheet. It was dated October 15th 2007. So I read.
Okay, it was all mush mush about Devin asking her out and how happy she was. Nice. Sweet. But not what I'm looking for. I flipped to the next date. Same thing. I fell on December 26, 2007. My eyes went wide.
Dear Diary,
I don't know what's happening. Devin has changed. He says that Phil is coming down for New Years and that there's something important we will have to attend to with him. I don't know what will happen then but I know it isn't something good. I can feel the fear creeping up in my body every time I think about it.
I know him, that Phil guy. He's my brother's girlfriend's brother. He seems cool but there's something off...
Okay. So she doesn't like my brother. That's a first. Everyone I know who knows my brother all adore him...
I looked to the next date. It was January 5, 2008. My heart raced with anticipation. I was almost scared...
Dear Diary,
I'm sorry it took me a while. It's harder to write now...now that he comes here. He's supposed to leave soon but... Says there are still things to do.
Devin's been...distancing himself from me. Says it's just a phase, that he doesn't feel good and it's not my fault, that I shouldn't be worried. But since he's been doing that, Phil comes here more often. He talks to me. Tries to sweet-talk me. But Devin doesn't stop him; he rather seems to find this amusing. I don't--I want to strangle the guy.
Other than that, I failed my Math test. I didn't tell anyone here, not like they care, but it's not in my nature. If I tell them, they'll know something's up.
And something is definitely up.
Remember that meeting on New Years? I never want to go back to that place--ever. I want nothing to do with those @ssholes. But...if I leave, they'll kill me. I know that. I've seen it in the way they look at me. I've felt it.
And, God forbid. I'm pregnant. And I know who the stupid father is...
So kill me, please?
Shattered: M.D.
I wasn't breathing. I didn't notice until now when I suddenly choked and gasped for air. Who's the father then? She seems angry. It's Devin, right? Maybe she really hates him. I don't understand. I kept reading.
February 5, 2008.
Other than that, Glen asked me if I wanted to go to a Bullet For My Valentine concert. I said yes, thrilled and excited, finally, after having been depressed for a long time. I love Bullet. It's one of my favourite bands. Lyla was going too so it made me even happier. But Devin was coming, since there was another ticket. But I prefer for him to come than her. That damn whore. I hope she dies painfully.
Got to go. He is here.
Who's he? Devin? Probably. Maybe she really despises him. But there's a her too. A whore. Who's she? She never specifies any names so I'm merely guessing here.
Next date. February 12, 2008.
Dear Diary
I'm not going to the concert. I said no. Devin's going anyway, because he knows that someone is coming for the weekend, a little Valentine's gift. I feel like going to get the kitchen knife and murder him in my own house. He has no right being here! And do you know what's even worse? Devin doesn't care. He laughs. He just says: "Go ahead. I don't want her. She's all yours. She's quite good, too, so you won't get bored."
I choke and bleed. Every time. Phil tries to mold me, tries to make me enjoy his time here when I truly want to murder him. When he leaves in satisfaction, and due to the stupid project they have going on, I bleed in this little jar. When I do so, on the night of the full moon, we bring it to the site and burn it. It's disgusting, what they're trying to do.
Geesus, I hope I die this weekend.
Everyone is suspicious of me and I'm not telling them anything. I can't. I want to, so desperately, since my brother has always been here for me. But the project prevents me. Devin will somehow learn that I told and they'll have us killed.
P.S. I tried breaking up with Devin. I'm never trying that again. He almost killed me. Literally. I've never felt so much pain. So I'm stuck with him for God knows how long.
Not too long, I hope.
I was shaking. Phil?! What the hell?!
I wanted to scream. But for the sake of the little kids arriving and the fact that I really wasn't alone, I didn't. I shakily turned the pages, reading and reading until I fell on a blood red page.
Dear Diary,
It was February 14. We had been gone to the concert. Dear god... It was real blood on this page...
...I'm back. Phil nearly killed me this time. I don't know how everyone seems to think of him as a hero, or as a good brother.
He's a MONSTER!
He ripped me this time. I bled and bled and threw out at least four towels. I lost the baby--yes, I truly was pregnant with his child. I'm somewhat glad I don't have it anymore but...it hurt so much!
See the page? That's my blood from today. Nice Valentine's gift, right? Being raped to near-death. He slapped me I don't know how many times. But when he was inside, he tried to go as far as he could, like as if he was trying to literally break into me. Dear god, it hurt so much. I was crying and he'd hit me for doing that. He was trying to force me to like it. As if!
I hope I die. And when I die, I'm bringing everyone with me, including...
I was bawling my eyes out for the second time that day.
WHY DIDN'T SHE TELLS US?! Dammit, I wanted to strangle her!
I was shuffling for more. The next pages were just blood. Like she was trying to emphasize how much it hurt... My god, Maryse... I wanted to be there for you but you never took that help...
There was one final entry before the rest of the diary was blank. It was dated March 21st, 2008. Geeze, that's not far...
It must be that night--
I won't even bother. This is my last entry, Diary.
Why, you ask? Because I'm going to die tonight. Tonight, they are going to kill me. And if I can't prevent it, they're going to kill Glen...
I let out a small cry escape my throat. My eyes watered instantly. She knew!?
I accidentally skipped a line, not even knowing what was written there.
...asked us to go to the forest as a celebration, I knew what kind of celebration. We've gone too far; the book, it says that at a certain point, the blood woman, which was me in this case, will have to give up her whole body and all the remnants of her blood.
You know, as far as I'm concerned, Lyla's brother is a f.u.c.king tard. He believes this demonology book will help him open a portal into Hell. Does she know this? No, I haven't told her and it's secret. Not even Devin would say.
But what's so exciting about this demon stuff? I knew he was obsessed and a monster, but I didn't think it overreached some limit. I want to run away but I'm going to stop this. I want to die, so what better method than murder so the detectives can trace the clues back to them. That's why I made sure to write the names of the people on the side of my body just beside the breast.
But if Phil rapes me, like he so sadistically would do because he enjoys the dead, and he sees the names, he might try to kill me a second time, make sure to decapitate me so the skin there would be totally mashed so no one can see what I so desperately tried to hide from them.
I'm taking my time, did you know? I hate to admit that I am both scared beyond death and anxious. I don't want to continue in this stupid world.
Everyone's depressed anyway. So that's depressing. It's a contagious disease, damn it.
But I hate dragging Glen into this. He was too suspicious, Devin had said. So Glen is going to die.
But if I can, I swear I'll find a way to Lyla, as a ghost or spirit or whatever, and tell her to find this diary. All the names are written here. By god, I know she can save me. Can give me peace.
And if I can manage it, I'll force my spirit inside Glen so he can survive... I'd hate it if he didn't...
Especially her. She'll be there tonight, she'll laugh. She'll help. I hope I can smash her head before I die...
Bye. May you live happily...
I couldn't see. Dear god... It couldn't be. What kind of twisted world is this?! My brother... Some gothic demon, trying to open some stupid portal and demanding sacrifices of bodies and blood to do such a thing. If I could find the demon book thing, maybe it would clear a bit.
But they probably have the book. Phil, mostly. I couldn't wait to get my hands at his throat and strangle him to death.
And Devin? I wanted to cry. I thought he was...nice, amazing, and I can't believe I loved him long ago when he was so heartless!
But worst of all, I know who the 'she' is. The name was written in Maryse's list of culprits.
Why...did you help them kill my boyfriend, Jen?
Jennika Roberts. My best friend of all time, since forever! She was always there for me...
She had loved Phil, I knew that. But at what cost? She's a murderer, just like the rest. Devin, Peter, Holand, Kite, Benni, Bill, Felix, James, Tiger. Maryse had made it her business to know these names. To know their last names in order to rid of them. It had cost her everything...
Glen... I know you're alive... But damn it...
So in the following week, I made it my business to find out who these people were. I made it my business to find out where they were located. I made this all my private business and, by hell, I rejected Jen like she was a rag doll...
"Lyl... Are you okay? Do you want some company?" she asked me softly as she came over. I pretended like I was very mentally depressed and made sure I smelled enough onions to make my eyes watery and puffy. It stung too...but that's just detail.
"No! Go away... I really want to be alone and get over this alone." I said, trying to be nice but it was forced. How I wanted to murder her right in my room and hide whatever was left of her under the floorboards. But it would smell after a while and I would have nightmares of her wretched face.
"Well... If ever you need me, you can call. Devin's worried too," she said as she slowly stood up and peered at me sadly. I kept looking at a blank spot on my blanket, trying to pretend I was forcing myself not to cry. I hope I didn't smell of onions. But she seemed oblivious.
How can she do such a thing?! Murder my boyfriend and my boyfriend's sister in one night and then come to me all sad and sympathetic when I knew she felt no remorse.
And she brings in Devin like as if HE is SAD?! Puh-lease! If he was as heartless as Maryse had described, in which I have no problem believing her more than him, no doubt maybe Jen had no idea how her brother was. But since she's like that too...and since they worked together...
f.u.c.king two-faced liars! ARGH! I felt like screaming bloody murder.
I tried gathering as much information as I could. I had a verified absence from school, due to death of loved ones, so I used this time to do my investigating. I was a detective. I acted like a spy. So maybe in other words, a private investigator.
And since I had easy access to Jen's house, even if I took the biggest precautions because Devin wasn't much of the school type of person and usually comes home early, I looked for anything. A diary, a book of demons perhaps that Phil might have left here. Blood, a weapon used... But there was nothing. Then I started looking for scraps of paper giving me the address of where they go on these precious nights.
On April 1st, I got my answer: I followed them. How I managed to do that...maybe it's because it wasn't far from my house. And I discreetly put my cell phone under the driver's seat of her Jeep and used another cell phone I got out of nowhere to track mine. So I followed them on a dark night, full moon, but still dark and I was on foot. It didn't take me too long. I kept hearing shouting and I followed it.
Seeing light from a fire through the thick trees, I hid myself behind one. I wish I'd brought any sort of weapon. A gun would have been better because I could have shot from a distance if ever they tried to approach me. Or a knife in case they liked close combat.
But the shouting stopped. They were leaving the campsite and going deeper inside the forest. I reluctantly followed them, trying to be careful about the branches I stepped on. But when the trees above you were too thick for the moon to shine through and the fact that it was getting clouded over and started raining, I can't see where I'm stepping. But I continued even if it was slippery, even if I risked getting caught.
If I got caught...It'll be the end of this. This mystery and twisted truth would never be unravelled. It would just be a bear attack that killed two adolescents. I couldn't let myself get caught.
< br>But it wasn't so bad when the roots sucked up the water. They bended more easily so when I stepped on them, they didn't snap in two.
An engine suddenly roared from somewhere to my right. Startled and now scared to death, I turned and was met by a glaring set of car lights. Or truck...or Jeep. I don't know. All I know is that I started to run and I ran as fast as I could deeper inside the forest, hearing someone run after me and several other shouts erupted, including a voice I recognized to be Jen's.
"You can't run! We were expecting you, idiot! I FOUND YOUR CELL UNDER MY SEAT!" she yelled and I heard her, feeling a shiver of frozen sweat run all the way up my spine and back down again.
I was caught. I cursed all the colourful words I knew, both in English and in French. But I ran. I didn't slow down. When I tripped and rolled, I managed to get back up and out of reach from the bastard behind me who was slowly catching up.
This is how my night trek of running started. It didn't end. The rain poured harder. The thunder roared. The night was darker. The noises were dim but for my screaming and my breathing. My feet screamed in pain and I heard the other one behind me grunt like an animal...
That's when I realized that the path in front of me was seeping downwards sharply.
My high-pitched scream erupted in the very silent night.
Hey. It's not over lol One more part. *winks* Then I can get going on my other, MUCH BETTER story! lol How did you guys like this one? Finally, the truth has leaked out. The horror has begun...lol If it is horrific. Anyways, I'll get writing and until the final part. I must say I'm disappointed though. It's a very short story, not in my usual length, and something I'm not used to writing. Whatever, if you like, you like. Comment. :) Byebye loves
.:Help Me:. She Said .:.The Past.:. {Part Seven}
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