Deep Inside The Mind

I always go deep inside my mind and dig out what's in there. Every little bit that you find is like gold. I bring out everything and can make a non-believer believe again. For example, when older people don't want to do anything about the pollination problem, I say, "Can you imagine growing up in a world were all the food prices are high and they'll never go back down? ever?Well think about us." Why just sit back and not do anything. Just because your going to die, does'nt mean that you can just not care. If you try to go deep in, then you can find almost anything. When you look around at everyone, everyone you love, you never think about what's going to happen. Their going to die some time, and you just might be there when it happens. You say you want to die, you sit there with a gun to your head with tears flowing out of your eyes. But, if you look at something or a picture of somebody that made you happy, you might stop. If you are like me and know for a fact that you were born in the wrong time period, then you have a deep mind. I was mistakenly born in the 00's and was really supposed to be born in the 50's or 40's so I could see the time period that I repetedly talk about. You know, I day dream all the time. I'll go into my room and sit down with my ipod and just go into some sort of a trance. I can't hear anything or anybody. I just stare. There's a certain song that I listen to from the 60s. Whenever I hear it, I think of a time in my life were the light was shining perfectly. I remember my mom playing it. I looked out the window and saw the desert I lived in. I used to hate it, but that was until I really looked around. Now, I look at all the tumbleweeds blowing around, and then, I look beyond that and see beautiful mountains. I hate people that will just glance up and not notice those beautiful things. I look out the window in my car and day dream all the time. I don't black out, I look and stare at the beautiful mountains with green grass. I look at the blue, blue sky. I look at those beautiful trees. Then, I look down. I see the road. A man-made road. It disapoints me. I look at my mom's purse and see money. What's so important about those green peices of paper? Their just printed and designed peices of paper! It makes me so mad. Sometimes I wish that I was never born. Sometimes I just wish thatI was'nt growing up in THIS time period. There is a window right next to my computer and I look out it all the time. I see those beautiful mountains that I always admire and respect. Then, I look and see a black gate. I look again and see a road with cars driving passed. It's so depressing. Such beautiful trees...even though I do live in a Californian desert...their so beautiful. Whenever i'm in trouble and want to die, I look out the window and think back. Sure, my parents can take away my ipod, but I still have my mind. I think back to when "The best day of my life started". I want to go back. I always said that I would do anything for it. But then I think again, "Don't worry. There's always times to make new memories." I cry and think, "Why are these tears going to help you fool? It's gone. Just forget it. That day is gone. You had your time. Don't worry." Whenever I go into my room, I cry. I think, "Oh my god. Nick. The best brother in the world, he's in the war. what if he dies?!" I'm scared and alone. But how is my crying going to help? I think of suiced every day of my life and always scream in my room out loud, "Why should I even be living?! My eye sight sucks, I suck at math, nobody has EVER told me that they loved me---" That's were I stop and think, "Chynna (China), your going to change the world! You know so much about music and your going to help that live! So what if nobody loves you?! So what if your eye sight is'nt so sharp? You'll get it fixed! And also, so what if your not so bright?! You write amazing stories and poems! Your going to be a guitarist and your going to carry on Jimmi Hendrix's life stories! Don't worry! Let's think again, Everybodyies Gotta Die Sometime! Mr.Edwards is gonna die, and, he might think that you have something wrong in your head, but your you and YOU only know that! That fat old man is WAY off! Your amazing! you play guitar amazing! Your writing is amazing! you have the most powerful knowledge of music anybody has ever seen! Be thankful for that! Nobody knows anything about you because nobody wants to listen to you, but don't worry, once you speak up in the world, everybody will know. Even Mr.Edwards, he'll regret it. Everybodies gonna know. Don't worry, their gonna know."