A high school nightmare

She looks at me and I can’t say a word. I want to tell her. Yet some how I can’t….

“will you love me forever?” Melanie asks.

“of course…forever and ever.” I reply.

“even through fire and brimstone?” she asks.

“through fire…brimstone…And even my Aunt Kathy…” I say while laughing.

“Alex, for once you could tell me that you love me. I mean I say it like 500 times a day and you’d respond with “same to you” or “same here” and my all time favorite...”of course you do” please say it just this once??” she cries while she pouts.

Well see...the thing is I don’t know how to express it yet I’m not gunna tell her that, never. I’d rather die before admitting I cant express my true feelings even if they are ……I don’t love you Melanie I like you…I LIKE you. Why cant I LOVE you? Its just something I need to figure out.

“maybe….I will Mel.” I reply.

“MAYBE, Alex the least you could do is say those three words. Jeez. I’m leaving.” she replies.

I want to stop her…explain myself yet…I cant say a word. I watch her walk away down the hall… toward her class not even saying “goodbye Alex. Se ya after class” or “I luv u..see ya.”

Why cant I say anything? Why am I so stupid?? Why cant I express myself to her? So many questions so little time. I walk to biology and sit down next to my partner…Alyssa…Melanie’s best friend.

“you don’t look so happy as normal. What’s wrong? You and Mel finally end your relationship?” asks Alyssa while laughing. “Nothing like that. If it was any of your business then you would know” I reply and look away, down at my notebook. I open it and begin to write:

Dear Mel….

I’m so srrry for this morning. Will u forgive me? Now u r waiting for me to explain myself and y response is that it is hard for me to explain on paper. Meet me at the beach… after school(if u still love me ) I will tell u everything and more. Just forgive me for being so oblivious to u, Mel.

ANYWAYS

Before I say goodbye there is something I must say to u…

I love u

Alex

I fold the note up and stick it in my pocket. I stare off at the board and try to focus back on bio. The bell rings. I try to focus yet I still worry about her.

“Alexander...would you like to answer the question?” asked Mr. Hutch.

“sure. What was it again?” I reply. Everyone starts to laugh.

“what is the codon?”

“I don’t know sir.” I answered.

“you would if you actually paid attention. Alexander. Now stop by after school today to discuss what we should do about your constant daydreaming.” he says as the bell rings.

I leave biology and head down the hall. I walk to her locker and leave the note inside. I go to my locker and get for English my books. matt approaches my locker.

“dude… Mel is pretty pissed. What did you do?” matt asks.

A lot, man I cant even say it right now. How pissed is she? Like….depressed and doesn’t talk to anyone or STFU and get out of my face?”

Well I said hey and she started crying. You know I cant stand it when women c. than she was all like get out of my face and I said okay…bye. Jeez you fucked up bad!”

I know right…well lets get to English.’

As we walked down the hall, I peered back and saw that Melanie was just about to get to her locker.