Have you ever read one on those cliche love storys. Well, if you haven't I'll fill you in. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl break up. Boy gets new girl. Boy realizes how much he loves the first girl and dumps girl two on her ass. Boy and girl one live happily ever after. It sucks being a character in those stories. How do I know? My life is that story. I'm girl number two. When Will told me he really loved Kate I wanted to so many things. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to punch, kick and push. I wanted to kiss it away. But I didn't.
I being my goodie little self took the high road. I told him he could get out of the relationship if he wanted to. and he did. Two days later divorce papers were in the mail. Through the whole ordeal I kept strong. I would put a smile on my face when I saw him and pretended that I was okay with all of this. Really, I was the farthest thing from okay. I was absolutely miserable. I may have been a good actor but I was also human. There's only a ceratain amount of hurt that can be put on the heart until it snaps.
For me The breaking point was the invitation I recieved. to quote Tom Sawyer: "This final feather broke the camel's back." I could no longer hold it together . He had the arrogance to invite me to his wedding. Only two weeks after we were officialy divorced! But alas, I am a pushover and will never cease to be one.
That night, I cried. I cried harder than I had in my entire life. I couldn't get the images of Will and I out of my head. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw his face and everytime I opened them I saw a reminder of him. Over the next few days my emotions went haywire. I had been concealing them so well for so long that I started letting them out at random times.
I started bawling when I had to sign a check as Maria Flannigan. I went through half a check book signing it Maria Beckett before I got it right. I'd flip out if I heard one of their songs. I'd delude myself into thinking he was still here. I was a wreck. Needless to say, I hardly believed in love anymore.
When I woke up the day of William's wedding I decided to be completely apathetic. It was highly doubtful that anyone would look more than once at me so I didn't have to try that hard. Watching the ceremony was heartbreaking. Watching him smiling like he had at our wedding killed whaever was left of my heart. Of course my apathetic approach didn't work when I saw that. The tears made their way to my eyes and burned to be let out. I tried to blink them back but realized it was a wedding. Everyone crys at weddings.
The reception was even worse. Watching my Will dance with her made me want to die. They both looked so happy. like we had at our wedding. I couldn't take it anymore. I walked out of the hotel the reception was in and started crying. I cried for god knows how long until the tears started to slow. Eventually they stopped but the feeling was still there. I probably looked like crap so I decided to go to the bathroom in attempts to paint on a semi-happy facade. Big mistake.
I was bumped into by joyous people everywhere until I was at the door. I put my hand on the handle but was stopped from opening it when another hand clapsed onto mine. I immediately looked down and tried to shake it off. Whoever it was was persistant. Finally I ripped the door open and ran inside locking myself in a stall. and surprise, surprise, I started to cry. Of all the times to take notice of my broken heart. After I had gone through all of this and it was finally over, now somebody cared. I greatly needed somebody to hold me when I cried every night for the past month. I greatly needed someone to tell be it would be okay. I greatly needed somebody to love me. But whoever it was chose to care now, after the damage had already been done. Oh well, it's not like anybody could save me anyway.
I sat there shaking violently with sobs until there was a knock on the stall.
"Hello?" a voice called. It was a male voice that was soft and laced heavily with concern. I sniffled and stopped my sobs for long enough to answer back.
"This is the ladies room, in case you didn't notice" I said.
"I noticed." he said, "I also noticed nobody is in here but you and I noticed that you're not crying."
"I'm not crying!" I defended sniffling.
"Then why did you just sniffle?" he asked.
"Go away" I said
"Not until you tell me what is making you cry" he said.
"More like who" I mumbled.
"Who then?" he asked.
"Go away" I said. I heard the person sigh.
"I didn't want to do this..." he said trailing off. I was about to ask him what he was doing but I saw that he was sliding under he stall door. He brown hair and bluish greem eyes. He smiled at me as he sat down next to me.
"Now where were we?" he asked smiling. I merely turned away from him. I wasn't exactly a sight for sore eyes right now. He turned my head back to his and eld it there so I was looking him in the eyes. His eyes were penatrating. They burned into me, past all my facades.
"Who's making a beautiful girl like you cry?" he asked.
"I'm not beautiful" I said.
"Yes you are. Don't be self concious." he said.
"Kind of hard not to be after a divorce" I said feeling eys burning.
"I'm guessing the person who's hurting you is the one who divorced you" he said. I nodded. "And who would that be?"
"Go ask him" I said pointing to the door.
"There's about 600 people in there" he said. I sighed.
"He's probably too busy with his new wife anyway" I spat angrily. David frowned at me.
"How long have you beed divorced?" he asked.
"About three weeks" I said miserably. I couldn't do it any longer. The tears escaped and started pouring down my face. He wiped them away and pulled me into a hug.
"I'm David, by the way" he said.
"Maria" I said.
"Why don't you tell me the whole story" he said. I don't quite know why but I told him everything. Everything from my comparison of a cheezy love story to the good times Will and I had to the disaterous events of the last two months. I told him everything.
The whole time he didn't interupt me once. He hugged me when I got to really emotional part and wiped away my tears. When I was done he wore a calm expression.
"But what do you care? It's just another maudlin story" I said. He looked at me deeply concerned.
"I do care Maria, alot. What William had done to you is absolutely appauling but he's in love he can't help it."
"I know," I said, "When I saw the lipstick on his shirts I knew I couldn't do anything about it. I knew he loved her and not me. That's why it hurts so much" I said whispering the last sentence. A new wave of tears broke over me as I thought about it. William Beckett, the one who would call me sweetheart, the one who would wipe away my tears, the only one who I had ever loved, never cared.
"It's okay. Everything will be okay." he said. Suddenly something popped into my mind.
"I'm so sick of when they say, It's just a phase you'll be okay" I sang. David frowned at me.
"Who would of thought?" I said with a small laugh "20 and heartbroken. It wasn't supposed to be like this". David stared at me.
"It doesn't have to be. Your life's not over. You're young. You can't let one heartbreak ruin you." he said. I let out a spiteful chuckle.
"My life is over. It has been since the ink dried on the papers. You don't get it David. He was my everything. He's only person I've ever loved. He was my reason for living. I put everything I had, heart and soul into the relationship. I can't even decribe how much it sucks watching it all fall to pieces," I said. He sighed.
"I know it hurts, but in time the pain will ease. You'll find someone else. Life goes on." he said.
"Maybe it will get better with time but I'll never find anyone else. It's a miracle one guy took a chance on me. I'm not holding my breath for a second." I said.
"I'm sure there's a bunch of guys waiting for you" he said.
"Yeah right" I mumbled.
"I'm serious" he said, "I bet there are hundreds of guys waiting to jump at your beck and call. And if there is a freak accident where everyone in the world is mutated into an ugly sea monster I'll be there for you". For the first time in three months I smiled. It felt odd smiling again. I guess the frown had been plastered on my face for too long.
"She smiles!" David exclaimed, which made me smile more. I decided then and there that I was keeping David around.
"You know, you'll get sick of me" I said.
"Never" he said smiling. He held out is pinky and i shook it, laughing at how childish we were.
Days faded to weeks and weeks to months, pretty soon it had been three years since the divorce. I had finally gotten over it and was at peace with the whole dilema. I couldn't have done it without David though. He helped me through so much and had become my best friend. He was the only thing that kept me grounded and I couldn't be happier than I was right now. I heard the door open and close and was met by David seconds later. He smiled at me.
"David, you're back!" I said. I hugged him until I thought that he had run out of air. I missed him, he had been on tour three months.
"Hey Maria" he said, "You know I thought about something on tour"
"That can't be good. Every time you think you weaken the nation" I said. He pouted and me.
"Meanie" he said. I merely smiled at him.
"What pray tell were you thinking about?" I asked. He looked to be confused for a moment and I laughed.
"Oh yeah" he said, "This". Before I could get out a word his lips were on mine. I retract my statement, now my life can't get better.
My bones have shattered,My pride is shattered
And in the midst of this self inflicted pain
I can see my beautiful rescue
(Picture in results!)
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