I Can't Be Happy [Ulquiorra Schiffer]02

Emi and Lee filed out of their captain's office as silently as possible. Emi pressed her lips together to keep herself from crying over the end of the story. When they were far enough from Alyson's office, Emi stopped and fell back onto the wall. Lee stopped in front of her and leaned against the opposite wall. Her arms were crossed over her chest and it almost seemed liked she was shaking.

"Has she cried since then?" Emi finally asked. When she spoke, a lump rose in her throat. It was a signal that she wanted to cry. Alyson's ending with her captain had not been happy for her, but she hadn't cried at all. So Emi would cry for her. Lee shrugged.

"She hasn't around me. Maybe around Captain Hirako," she said. Emi stared at her through eyes blurred by tears, but she was sure that Lee was shaking.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. Lee looked straight into Emi's eyes.

"I was a horrible friend to her," Lee said. Emi tilted her head to the side.

"But you guys are such good friends," Emi told her. Lee smiled, but it was barely visible. She shook her head.

"I told her to get over it. If anything, she's the only good friend. She purposely omitted it when she told the story," Lee said.

"Omitted what?" she asked. Lee was looking at the ground now. Slowly, ever so slowly, she lifted it to stare at Emi again.

"I told her to get over it the second that he died. She only stared at me, her face showing everything. Her heart died with him that day and I told her to get over it…" Lee said, letting her head fall again. Tears poured down like rain from her eyes. She hadn't cried like that since she had been abandoned by her parents.

"But she had to of forgiven you," Emi cried. Lee slid down the wall and hugged her knees.

"She didn't! I mean, she chose to be my friend again, but I don't believe she ever forgave me! And just so that I feel better, I have to work my whole life and beyond to feel forgiven. And even then I will still be in her debt for still befriending me!" Lee moaned. Only to get her point across, had she stopped sobbing. Now she let the sobs tear through her.

"Hey, isn't it enough to be her friend still?" Emi asked, crouching next to her. Lee shook her head.

"I can't ever let that look fall on her face again! I can't!" she shouted and continued to sob. Soul reapers of the tenth division came to investigate the noise and could only stare when they found their 'take no crap from anyone' lieutenant sobbing. Jack jogged over to Alyson's office to see what she was doing.

"Captain?" he asked when he saw her staring at one of the walls. She didn't even glance at him.

"Hm?" was all she did at all. Jack walked into the office and leaned on Alyson's desk.

"Lee's sobbing about something. She never even cries over anything!" he said. Alyson turned her head to look at her third seat. She wanted to make sure he knew she was serious.

"Then let her sob," she said. Jack was shocked.

"Aren't you going to comfort her?" he asked. Alyson pressed her lips together.

"Tell me," she said, "If you ever become a captain and your lieutenant is sobbing like mine is, would you go comfort them?" Jack nodded, of course he would. Now Alyson knew how he felt about Emi's obsession with him.

"Jack?" she asked.

"Yes, captain?" he replied. Alyson stared straight into his eyes.

"Who do you think your lieutenant is?" she asked. Jack tilted his head to the side.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Who is your lieutenant?" she asked again. Jack seemed to think about it for a moment.

"The third seat of the sixth division. He's my best friend," Jack finally said.

"Wrong!" Alyson told him, shaking her head. Jack seemed confused.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Alyson raised an eyebrow.

"I mean he isn't ever going to be your lieutenant. Who will you choose to be your lieutenant in ten years? Who will it be? The point I'm trying to make is that you don't know who it will be. You won't know if you'll be willing to comfort someone on the day that they are sobbing. You just won't be able to decide ahead of time," she replied.

"What if I'm steadfast as having someone be my lieutenant?" Jack asked, completely forgetting that Lee was sobbing in the hall. Alyson shook her head.

"It won't matter. I already know who your lieutenant will be. I already know because I see the way you look at her," Alyson said. Jack blushed.

"Are you saying they'll be a girl?" he asked. Alyson held up a hand.

"That's what I'm saying, but she isn't in the third division. Yes, I know how you look at her too. Your lieutenant will come from this division. You look at her in annoyance, but she'll change that about you. I know she will," Alyson said and stood up.

"Emi is not going to ever be my lieutenant! She will never change anything about me because I won…"

"And Lee was never going to change anything about me!" Alyson shouted, "I've heard that crap before! I've said it all before! You have no idea who is going to change you! You don't know how anything is going to affect you!" Jack stared at her, eyes wide. Alyson sat back down and lashed out at the wall beside her.

"Lee told me something when Ulquiorra died. She told me something that I didn't want to hear. And she thinks that I will never forgive her for that! But you know what, that's what helped me get through everything.

"Because she told me that I needed to get over his death, I got over it. I had to get through it at least because that's what she wanted. Lee hasn't always been my best friend. But when she told me that, I knew she was. I knew that she was trying to help me. Lee isn't the greatest comforter for the average person, but for me she's the best. She's blunt about everything, but that's what makes me feel better. Because then I know that at least she'll guide me where I need to go while I'm the mess," Alyson said. Tears traveled down her face.

"Captain, but…" Alyson held up her hand.

"Would you rather have someone who will give you a hard time about almost everything, that represents your 'best friend', someone who doesn't even know you, that's the girl in the third division, or would you rather have someone who loves everything about you already and is willing to do whatever it is you need her to?" Alyson asked. Jack stared at her.

"But she annoys the crap out of me," he said. Alyson smiled and walked over to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You always say you want a challenge for once in your life. Take that one. It will be the biggest challenge you ever face. Learn to put up with her," Alyson said. Then she walked to the door.

"Captain…" Alyson held up her hand.

"I know what you meant by challenge. Take what you can get. Now I have my own challenge to face," she said and walked out into the hall. And by tomorrow, you'll be wishing that was your only challenge. I have to prepare you now. When the time comes, Lee and I will die together and you will take my place. Tomorrow you will begin mastering Bankai. Tomorrow you will officially be my successor, Alyson said to herself. Lee stared up at her.

"Anaki, are you sure that you won't get annoyed by training him?" she asked. Already she had stopped sobbing. Now that she knew that Alyson had forgiven her, there was no need for her to cry.

"Jack's a strong guy. He'll be able to handle it," she said and held out a hand to help Lee up. Lee grabbed it and was catapulted up. Jack came up behind them.

"What are you talking about, Captain?" he asked. Alyson glanced at Lee and smiled.

"Your future," she said and walked away from him. Lee followed her captain and Emi moved to stand in front of Jack.

"Whatever they're planning to do with you can only make you better. And even if you fail, I'll be there for you," she said. Jack looked extremely annoyed that he had been left with her. Then he remembered Alyson's challenge. He smiled at her.

"I'm glad to hear that," he said and walked away. Emi stayed where she was. She had no reason to follow him, no matter how much she wanted to.

Jack gasped for breath the second that Alyson called for the end of the session. Lee laughed from her spot off to the side. Emi punched her arm.

"He's been working really hard!" she said. Lee continued to laugh.

"So? If he hasn't achieved Bankai then he obviously isn't working hard enough," she replied. Then she was shoved against the rocky ledge she had been sitting in front of by some unknown force. Alyson was staring in her direction, eyebrow raised. Emi covered her mouth in shock.

"He's almost there!" Alyson called and then pulled her sword back. Lee fell back on to the shelf she had been sitting on.

"Finally! It's been twelve years!" she called back once she had caught her breath. Emi pressed her lips together.

"Lee?" she asked. Lee glanced at her.

"What?" Emi stared down at Jack.

"Have you all been suppressing your reiatsu around me? It never changes, not even Jack's," she said. Lee smiled and glanced at Alyson.

"Anaki!" Alyson looked up to where they were seated.

"Yes," she called back.

"Should we give off all of our reiatsu for Emi to see why we hide it?" she asked. Alyson shrugged.

"We probably should. It would be easier on Jack. He isn't used to having to suppress so much of it," Alyson replied. Lee nodded and Emi fell back on the ledge. Lee glanced at her in surprise.

"What's up with you?" she asked. Emi tried to suck in some breath.

"Can't… move," she gasped out. Lee smiled.

"Anaki, I'm taking her higher up so that she can watch without being affected too much," Lee called. Alyson nodded and then returned her attention to Jack. He was out cold.

"I'd like you to meet Gin Ichimaru. He's our new third seat," Aizen said. Alyson raised an eyebrow and slid her gaze to the boy. Her eyes widened as she stared down at his face. Why was he smiling like that? Lee walked past her and gazed straight at the boy. If they had gone by looks, you would have thought that they were all the same age.

"Hi, Gin. I'm Lee," Lee said. Alyson took a step back. Then she saw Shinji walking with Hiyori. She walked towards them.

"Hey! Why didn't you tell me you had a new third seat, idiot?" she said glaring at him. Hiyori punched him in the face.

"You're supposed to tell Captain Anaki stuff like that, baldy!" she said and then walked away. Alyson wrapped her arms around Shinji.

"She's right. But don't go over there. That kid freaks me out," she said. Shinji pushed her away a tiny bit.

"Do you have any idea why that is?" he asked. Alyson shook her head.

"Well, now I kind of get the feeling that he wants me dead," she replied. Shinji stared at her.

"Wants you dead? That's a strange feeling," he commented. Alyson let go of him.

"You're going to make me go over anyway, aren't you?" she asked. Shinji nodded.

"I'll be there if he does anything and so will Lee." Alyson sighed but followed her friend back to the rest of them. Gin was talking to Lee, who listened with enthusiasm. Alyson stuck to Shinji's side, freaking out in her head. Lee glanced at her. She had been able to hear her thoughts very clearly as of late.

"It's coming true!" she said.

"What is?" Gin asked. All of the others looked as if they wanted to hear the answer to that as well. Alyson stared at her in confusion.

"Remember when we had that dream? In it, prior to your death, someone who scared you would enter our lives and I would be able to hear your thoughts on the matter," she said. Alyson continued to stare, remembering.

"Someone who you loved," she added. Lee nodded. Alyson closed her eyes.

"If it is coming, then I know that I'm prepared for it and I'm not worried," she said and then turned to walked away. Lee stared as she retreated. She had an achy feeling in her chest. Her eyes widened when she realized why. This was the end.

"But Anaki!" Alyson held up her hand.

"Lee, I have to go right now," she said. Lee grabbed her arm.

"It can wait until tomorrow! It's really late, don't leave," she whispered. Alyson shook her head and pulled away.

"I'll be back," she said. Lee sighed.

"At least let me come with you!" she whined. Alyson sighed.

"Fine! Hurry up!" she said. Lee nodded and followed her as she walked to the fifth division. They walked slowly. No one was out and Alyson wasn't in a terrible hurry. Lee was dreading something and she didn't know what it was. She just knew that something bad would happen tonight. Was this the night that everything came crashing down? Lee shut her eyes and forced the thought from her mind. She still had time until the end. Alyson glanced back at her.

"I can hear your thoughts now, Lee. This is the end. But don't be sad because it's also the beginning. And remember when I die, you will die with me," she said. Lee's eyes widened, but for some reason it comforted her to know that she wouldn't be separated from Alyson for long. They walked on.

Lee glanced around, hearing noises from every direction. She stopped when Alyson did. They both looked ahead and saw a mess of silver hair. Alyson took a step back and Lee instantly realized who it was. The boy stepped forward.

"I thought ya were prepared," he said. Alyson's eyes widened and Lee shook her head. There was a hot breath on her neck.

"Lee, I knew this was coming soon, so I warned Jack. He knows. Don't be afraid to die, alright?" she whispered. Lee nodded.

"Of course, Ana…"

"This is my last request of you in this life. Call me Alyson," she said. Lee's eyes widened.

"Alright, Alyson," she said. "Did you say goodbye to Shinji?" Alyson smiled but nodded.

"I thought he was Captain Hirako," she replied. Lee sighed.

"This is my last night, I want to call him Shinji," she said.

"Alright, Lee. This is it. Hold on to your memory of our friendship and hope that we are together in the next life," she said and then stepped in front of Lee. She thought back on everything that had happened in her life. She had met the best people in the world, fallen in love, been a captain, and trained someone to take her place.

"So ya ready now?" Gin asked. Alyson closed her eyes. She had lived a good life. This was it. He was going to end this life and she was going to make the best of it. She opened her eyes again, the fire that they had very rarely held was present.

"Not quite. There's one more thing I'd like to do," she said and drew her sword. "I have a favor to ask of you. Will you infuse your spirit with mine, Kasousuru?" Her sword faded and in it's place was that other woman.

"If that's all you want, I gladly will," she said. She stepped into Alyson's body and a normal sword appeared in Alyson's hand. She tossed it to Gin.

"Kill me with that," she told him. Lee watched in horror as Gin charged forward and stabbed Alyson. She just stood there and let him. As he stood there watching, Alyson stared into his eyes.

"Thank you, Gin. This is the way it is supposed to be," she said, patted his head, and fell to the ground. Gin pulled the sword back out.

"Lee, ya can go back to your division," he said. Lee shook her head and unsheathed her sword.

"I love you, but Alyson is basically my sister. It's time for you to duel me. We don’t stop until one of us is dead," she said. Gin's eyes opened.

"No," he said. Lee glared at him

"Yes!" and she charged at him. She wasn't planning to actually fight him. She wanted him to stab her so that she could die with Alyson. He raised the sword in his hand in defense and it went straight through Lee. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"This is what I wanted. Thank you," she said. Gin pulled the sword back out of her, horrified by what he had done. Lee and Alyson's heads were beside one another.

"This is it. Let's go back to the real world," Alyson whispered. Lee nodded.

"Goodbye, Alyson. I'll see you again soon." Alyson nodded. Both of their eyes were closed.

"Thank you, Gin," they both said in perfect unison. Their voices had changed somehow. They sounded exactly the same. Alyson stared up at him.

"You terrify me, but I suppose that's how it had to be." She closed her eyes again. And suddenly Gin couldn't tell the difference between the two girls. They looked almost exactly the same now. And then they disappeared forever. That was the end… for now.