I woke up the next morning to a tapping on my window.
My ipod was still playing. I looked out the window to see Erin smiling and waving at me.
"Hey Erin." I said from inside the car.
She just looked at me confused. I assumed that she couldn't hear me.
I looked around to make sure that Bam wasn't there. When I saw the coast was clear I unlocked the door and got out of my car.
"Care to explain why you were sleeping in your car last night?" Erin asked.
"Take a guess." I muttered.
She nodded her head in understandment. "Bam."
"Yes Bam! He made me miss my date with the guy from the supermarket last night. Poor thing, I ditched him." I said sadly.
She laughed. "I'm sure he'll get over it."
"Yeah, but I'm not going to forget this." I told her. "Bam is going to get an ass whoopin' the next time I see him."
"Okay, so you mean now?" she asked, smiling.
I looked over my shoulder to see Bam standing in the front door talking to someone. From my guess, I don't think he had seen me yet.
"Hide me!" I pleaded with Erin.
She just laughed and shook her head no.
I frowned and frantically searched for a spot to hide.
I decided to just run out the driveway and down the street.
I glanced back at Bam who was now looking at me smirking.
I took off running as fast as I could out of the driveway and out towards the street.
"Oh no you don't!" I heard him yell from behind me.
I refused to look back. I couldn't. I knew if I did I would slow my pace and he would catch me in an instant.
What was I really running from anyway?
I understood that Bam was chasing after me, but why was I running away from him exactly? All he wanted to do was talk. All I had to do was listen.
I never agreed to act on anything he said to me.
I stopped running immediatly and felt something or someone collide with my back.
I lurched forward and fell into the pavement.
"Jesus Jayce! Don't just stop like that." Bam complained from behind me.
"We wouldn't have this problem if you weren't chasing me." I glared at him.
"I just wanted to talk to you!" he protested.
I folded my arms over my chest, and got comfortable on the ground. "Talk."
He looked extremely confused and didn't say anything.
"Talk." I demanded again.
"What?" he sputtered.
"You have been dying to talk to me for hours now. I'm putting you out of your misery. Talk. I'll listen." I explained.
"Okay fine I'll talk but-"
"But?" I interrupted.
"But, can you please get out of the street first. You won't do much good to me if you're run over by a car two minutes after I finish." he said.
I got out of the road and moved to the sidewalk and sat down in the same stance on the concrete.
"Okay I'm ready for it now. Tell me what you feel, think...er want." I said awkwardly.
He sighed and sat down next to me. "Fine."
I sat and waited for him to continue.
"You...hurt me when you said that you think you didn't felt what I felt when we were younger. I think you know damn well what you felt, and you are just too scared to admit it now, here, infront of my face. You said yourself the reason you wouldn't come back to West Chester is because I was here. You're scared that you still like me. Love me.
"I don't know why you're so afraid. I can only assume that me leaving you right after you proclaimed your feelings has something to do with it. But, that's just a guess. I know you didn't expect to talk to me ever again. But, now that you're here infront of me I don't want you to leave. I really loved you then, you loved me then. I think we can make this work out."
I sat patiently throughout his little speech. I didn't want to interrupt with my feelings, because I knew that it would only result in an argument. "Done?" I questioned.
He sighed happily. "Yeah, I'm done."
I nodded. "Good. Well I am going to head back to the house now." I said before standing up and dusting myself off.
"Wait a second!" Bam ordered loudly. "We are suppose to talk. I was done saying what I had to say. You didn't tell me any of your feelings."
I huffed and sat back down.
"What would you like me to say Bam?" I asked.
"Tell me the truth, not what you want to hear. I want to know. Do you still feel anything towards me?" he questioned.
"Duh! I wouldn't have run away from you for so long if I didn't, Bam. Sheesh you're so dumb sometimes." I scoffed.
"Don't do that!" he yelled.
"Do what?" I asked.
"Don't treat your feelings like a joke! Don't treat my feelings like a joke! This is so serious I don't see why you just won't grasp that." he said angrily.
"Because! What are we going to do Bam? How are we going to make things work? I'm not going to give up my heart to you again just for you to toss it a few minutes later." I explained.
"I never tossed your heart!" he argued. "I always kept it, and I always will. Why can't you just see that you still have mine?"
"I...I don't know." I whispered.
He stood up. "This is what I am going to do. I am going to go back to Dunn and Kristin's house and get my car. I will drive home. I won't bother you again at all. You can go back to Kristin and Dunn's house too. You can go on with your visit without me making things complicated for you. When you leave on Sunday, you can either come by my place and I will know that you aren't afraid to be with me anymore or you could just drive straight home, and we can agree that that is you deciding to forget I ever exsisted."
I started open mouth at him. How could he make me choose everything by Sunday? It wasn't fair.
He swiftly turned around and walked back towards Ryan and Kristin's house without saying a word to me.
For the last time? I wasn't sure of yet....
May your organs fail before your dreams fail you
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