I Could Have Died With You; 07

Charlie's phone didn't ring at all that evening and she got a call from her mother the next day, as well as one from one of her coworkers, but none from Patrick. Charlie proceeded to distract herself from this fact by working harder than she usually did and organizing her CD collection alphabetically and baking a chocolate cake she then didn't eat.
This little plan of hers seemed to be going just fine, but when two days went by and Patrick still hadn't called, Charlie had a complete breakdown and started sobbing uncontrollably in her bedroom, knocking down her pile of CD's just because she could. Charlie swore she could hear Diane giggling in the bedroom next door, and when Diane went out shopping half an hour later, Charlie spilled her hair conditioner in the bathroom sink and threw her wonder bra away.
And then, then she picked up the phone and dialed Patrick's number.

---

"So, I'm thinking like, this big circus-themed thing, you know? With tambourines and harmonicas and I could write about how, like, we're the metaphorical clown in this circus that is life in the entertainment industry."
Patrick stared.
"And we could also, like - hey, listen to this! - we could do a punk rock cover of 'Like A Virgin' or whatever, and be like... oh hey, I know!" Pete interrupted himself, stumbling over his own genius words, "We could do a wedding-themed album!"
Patrick eyed Andy helplessly, seeking support. Their crazyass bassist had gone, well, crazy.
"Pete", Andy called in the stern, calm tone he had mastered over the years, "Pete, Pete, Pete, Peter. You do realize - seriously, pay attention - you do realize we're in Fall Out Boy, right? Not, you know, Panic At The Disco."
Joe rested a supporting hand on Pete's knee. "We know it pains you, dude, but you know that you're not really Ryan Ross, right?"
Pete scooted Joe's hand away. "Fuck you, okay? Fuck all of you", he said, not like he meant it though. "It'd be an awesome album. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me anymore? I have such great world domination plans."
The rest of the band exchanged knowing glances as Pete laid his head on the armrest of Patrick's living room armchair, where he was currently half-sitting half-lying on. They had gotten together for an informal pre-recording meeting, just the four of them, where basically all they did was talk about what they did or didn't want the next album to sound like, so then Pete could go get his insanely ridiculous amounts of notebooks and Patrick could go pick up his guitar and do magic. Or something.
"I didn't know your world domination plans involved naked sidekick pics though, Pete", Patrick said, using the old p33n jokes he only went for when he was cranky and not really joking, but not yet fighting either. "You could have warned a guy."
Pete threw an aimless pillow at Patrick, which nearly hit Andy in the head. "Shut up and go make up with Charlie, Pattycakes." The singer glared at him; he had been pretty clear when he gave Pete the I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it speech days ago.
"You and Charlie fighting?" Joe asked out of concern, while Andy muttered something about newborn relationships and why he tended to avoid them as a whole. Fucking perfect. Now Patrick would have to Talk About It, which was pretty much the last thing he felt like doing right now. Sure, he did miss Charlie, and he did think he had maybe overreacted a bit, and he might have needed a second opinion on this, but seriously, this was not the time for that.
"Yeah, kind of", Patrick replied Joe's question with studied lack of interest and strummed a chord on the guitar on his lap. "Now Pete, what was that 'Like A Virgin' idea you were speaking of?"
Andy elbowed him in a patronizing sort of way. Seriously, sometimes Patrick felt like Andy was the slightly dirtier embodied version of all of their mothers (he definitely was the most mature one, at least). "Dude, don't encourage him", he warned, "You know Pete. Next thing you know, you'll be wearing a wedding dress in a gondola in Italy. Not cool."
"It was cool when Madonna did it", Pete pointed out, grinning like an idiot. "Oh man. So cool."
"Why are you fighting with Charlie?" Joe asked conversationally, biting at one of his nails.
"It was only cool because it was Madonna, you asshole", Patrick said, and then: "And I'm not. I mean, I don't know. I'm having second thoughts, I guess." Liar. Patrick wasn't having second thoughts. Charlie might even have been playing him all along and he would still care for her like crazy, which was so pathetic he wasn't even going to mention it.
"Well, you do like her though, right?" Joe needed to just shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Patrick didn't reply. Pete said, "Dude! He likes her so much he'll even blush if you ask him that again." And then, when Joe eyed him doubtfully, "Trust me, I've tried."
Patrick's cell phone rang and he made a grab for it before Joe could reach it, because Joe had been eating Cheetos all afternoon and his fingers were gross. It was Charlie. Patrick said as much.
"And you're not going to answer it?" Andy asked and raised his eyebrows when Patrick shook his head.
"You're such a dumbass", Pete said, reaching for the phone. Patrick's ring tone was Britney Spears' 'Toxic': Pete's and Joe's choice. "Give me that", he yanked the phone from Patrick's hands and answered it, "Hello?"
On the other line, Charlie sucked in a breath. "Patr- You're not Patrick!" she accused as soon as she heard Pete's voice.
"No, I'm not. But hey, listen to me-"
"Look, Pete," Charlie interrupted before he could say anything else. In Patrick's living room, the singer tried his best not to look too hopeful and Joe mocked his every move. Andy sighed. "If Patrick doesn't want to speak to me, that's fine - actually, it isn't fine, but I'll understand - but please don't tell me he's making his friends answer his phone, that's just-"
"What?" it was Pete's turn to interrupt. He changed the cell phone from one ear to the other, holding it in place. "No! Hey, it's not that."
Finally, Patrick had had enough. He stood up from the couch and took the phone from Pete, without much protest. "Hi Charlie, it's me. Sorry about Pete." Pete pretended to feel offended and made grabby hands, but Patrick went and locked himself in the kitchen.
"So what happened between them?" Andy asked as soon as Patrick was out of earshot, and clearly too busy to give a damn.
Pete shrugged. "Something about her roommate. You know how Trick is a tiny ball of insecurities."
"Not a surprise", Andy said. "He's been living The Pete Wentz Experience since he was fifteen, after all. Anyone would have been scarred for life."
Pete brought a hand to his chest, over his heart as though he felt painfully offended. "My soul weeps, dude, seriously! Besides, I've known Joe even longer and I like to think he's turned out quite alright."
Andy cast a sideways glance at where Joe was licking his Cheetos coated fingers. "Clearly", and he was only being a little bit sarcastic when he said it.

---

Charlie was looking sternly, if not a little bit fascinated, at her 'Best Of Blondie' CD cover, studying the track titles as though they read the magic recipe for healing broken hearts and souls. Among them, 'Hanging By The Telephone' caught her eye and she found it fitting, though her train of thought had made her miss half of what Patrick had been saying. Damn you, Debbie Harris.
"Charlie? You still there?"
Charlie mentally kicked herself in her imaginary nuts (where it hurt the most, she'd heard) and readjusted her phone on her shoulder and against her ear. "Yeah, I'm... sorry, I got distracted." She could hear Patrick sigh on the other line. "I just don't get it", she said, "I mean, I get it, but I honestly can't see why you'd think I'd be like that."
Patrick, he kind of had no idea how to explain it any better, to be exact. It wasn't like, well, it wasn't like he thought Charlie was that kind of person, it wasn't like he thought she was only with him for the fame or the music or, whatever, all of those reasons sounded so much more appealing than himself. Maybe he was just paranoid (he did have Pete Wentz as a best friend, after all) and constantly seeing his own life through a lens had finally gotten the best out of him.
"Seriously, Patrick, do you really think I would do that?" Charlie threw her Blondie CD onto the bed. Her bedroom floor felt cold under her legs but she was too lazy to move from her sitting position. Besides, if this phone call went too badly, she could no longer fall and she'd have the wall against her head for some banging. It was a win-win situation, really. "That's somewhat offensive, you know?"
"I'm sorry, it isn't like that. Or maybe it is, I just..." Patrick was so not good at this. Seriously, somebody passed him a guitar or something so he could express himself and stop the stuttering, that would be nice. "I don't know what to think, you know? Lately I'm just so scared that people can't see the real me, just like, this dude from Fall Out Boy, and not Patrick. You know what I mean?"
Charlie knew what he meant. But she also thought that was some self-decrepitating bullshit. She told him as much.
"Patrick, that's some self-decrepitating bullshit." Patrick laughed. "No, seriously, that is. And I need you to know that whoever sees you as just a dude in a band is crazy. Crazy and totally not me. Okay?"
Patrick knew she was right, knew it, but sometimes he couldn't help it that he was insecure and okay, admittedly, a little bit stupid.
Charlie sighed on the other line and sounded completely serious when she said, "I know what Diane said the other day must have hurt - it hurt me too -, but she's always like that, she's always been, I don't know what to do anymore." Patrick could feel the desperation in her voice and knew it would be too unfair to let go of Charlie just because she had the worst roommate in the world. "She's completely mental, okay? And I'm the one who has to live with her everyday."
Patrick adjusted the phone to his ear and contemplated the curtains of his kitchen window - his mom had picked them, they were hideous. "I know it's not your fault, but just... I don't know. I know I overreacted, but just thinking you could be with me only because I'm 'famous' or whatever..." he did air quotation marks and didn't finish his barely coherent speech because he knew Charlie got the idea. He sighed. "I like you a lot, you know? And I just wanted you to feel the same way about me, I guess."
Charlie could feel her cheeks starting to crack from how wide she was smiling and she didn't even care. It was the best damn feeling in the world.
"Patrick", she managed before her heart had the chance to seize up and explode. "Patrick, can I come over?"
It occurred momentarily to Patrick that he had his whole band over. Then he thought 'Charlie', and well, that won over pretty easily. "Sure", he said, "We should talk."
And they really should, but when Charlie got to Patrick's apartment, there was not so much talking as there was making out on the roof, and Patrick called her 'Charlene' in between kisses and everything was beautiful.