Frerard - I Just Wanted You to Know - 5

"Um... It's not what it seems Frank." He said, looking at the floor, like a little kid that had just broken his Mom's favourite vase.
"I don't understand. I mean, is this me?" I asked, getting off the bed that I was standing on and holding up the picture. He didn't look up.
"Is it me or not?" I asked him, softly yet sternly.
"What do you want me to say?" he said finally, yet still avoiding eye contact.
"Please don't play games. Is this a picture of you and me together? Coz if it is..." I insisted.
"Coz if it is you'll what? Beat me up and call me a fag?" he retaliated.
"No!" I shouted, horrified that he'd think that.
"Yes! Yes, okay!? I fucking love you Frank Iero! And from your expression, I can tell you don't feel the same. So long and goodnight, Frank Iero. I thought you cared." He said, before storming out of my room, not even bothering to take his picture back. I stayed rooted on the ground for a bit, in shock that he felt the same. I mean, who would love me? I'm really nothing special. I'm dumb, and really not funny and boring. Who could love me? And even if he did, I'd just messed it up. And I didn't even do anything. I just crawled under the dark covers of my bed and cried until I fell asleep. Which took a painfully long time.

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"Frank? Frank honey, it's been three days. Please get up and eat something?" whispered my Mom from the doorway. Yes, I had just been lying there, letting out nothing but the occasional sob. The only time I got up was about twice a day to go to the bathroom. I know you might think that I'm over-reacting, but first love always hurts way more than it should. The way that they touch your un-knowing heart and the way they make it pump faster than you ever thought possible. The way that their touch can make everything better. The way that they're more amazing than they could ever know. The way that a few words can make you scream with joy inside, or turn you into a nervous wreck. And the way they make words sound so big, and yet you know that it's all just a nightmarish fairytale. And that was what Gerard was doing to me. And knowing that he loved me only cut into me deeper, coz I knew that this was probably the end. Mom sat down on the edge of my bed and made the mattress go down slightly underneath her.
"You know, it's not like you were dating. Maybe all you have to do is call him and talk it over." She said, trying to be reassuring. But I'm generally a very pessimistic person.
"If he cared, he would've called me." I mumbled, although my voice was crackly because I had refused any form of food or drink.
"Well, he wasn't worth it then honey. Or maybe he was. Do you still want him?" she asked simply, and I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my head.
"Well yeah. He's the only guy I've ever loved." I said, finally turning to her.
"Well, I think that maybe I should give you a lift to his house. And even if he's not there, at least talk to Mikey. See what happened next on his side. Get up now. I've watched too many people love and lose to just let it happen to you. Now put on your clothes, and maybe take a shower because you're starting to smell. Okay?" she said. I contemplated for a moment, but come to think of it, what's the worst that could happen? Apart from the fact that maybe my heart could be broken into even tinier splinters, although not that anything mattered anymore. I got up, almost all of my bones clicking from not moving for a while. Mom pulled open the curtains, letting in blinding light, making me blink and squint, and even shut my eyes for a bit. I picked up my black towel, and went into the bathroom. I had eyeliner smears around my eyes and my face looked tired. I splashed my face with water, and dried it slowly. I ran my fingers through my greasy hair. I really did need a shower. I removed my clothes and stepped into the shower, turning on the cool jet of water and standing underneath it. I lathered up the soap, and slowly scrubbed all of my skin, trying to remove all of the dirt and grime that had built up. I stood in the shower for a good twenty minutes, and when I finally turned the water off, felt refreshed. I stepped out and got changed into a Metallica t-shirt and a tight pair of black jeans. Then I heard a light snoring from my bed. I pulled the covers back, and my Mom had decided to take a nap in my bed. I sighed. It was raining, and after I had just done all my hair, I really didn't want to walk to Gerards. The moment was lost. It was just pointless. I went downstairs and lay down on the sofa. After a while, I turned on some TV trash, and just wasted about 6 hours of my life watching it. Eventually I just fell asleep on the couch.

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Okay, given, this one is really boring, but the next one is dramatic and prolly quite cool. To make up for suckiness, here's some piccys.

And this one's just smooth!


LOL
Don't rate if you think this was bad lol.