It was a week before Christmas when Craig had made it clear to me that he had to fly back home to see his family Something surrounding family issues that he preferred not to talk about. He said he'd be back for Christmas but I couldn't help thinking that once back in Michigan, he'd stay in Michigan with his family over Christmas. I felt part selfish for wanting him with me all the time but learned that I needed to understand that sometimes family comes before those of which you love.
"I'm fine Craig, I just wish you'd tell me what's going on," I sighed over the phone.
"I don't want you to worry. I'll be home on Christmas Eve."
"Home as in this home I hope."
"Home as in your home," he assured.
"Ad least tell me you're okay, you sound worn out," I said with a hint of worry in my voice.
He sighed, "I'm okay."
I asked for him to tell me he was okay but when he did, it didn't seem to satisfy me.
"I'm just... worried that's all. I feel left in the dark here. If I had family issues you're probably the first person I would confide in before hopping on a plane a week before Christmas without explaining anything to my partner."
I didn't mean for it to all come out like it did, but it was how I was feeling at the time.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I'm not good with sharing personal things." "But I'm your girlfriend."
"I know and I love you dearly but its complicated," Craig replied nervously.
Complicated wasn't a word I needed to be hearing right now. Complicated is something you don't need to hear in relationships full stop.
"I just hope it's not too serious and you're back here sooner than I know it."
"You know I will be," he assured.
Just when I thought my life couldn't possibly get anymore complicated I get a 3AM phone call from my mum informing me that her layover flight from Singapore to LAX has been delayed. Christmas was only three days away and by the looks of things I felt as though I'd be spending it alone.
I sat on the sofa just having got off the phone to my mum, it was just past 3AM and I suddenly didn't feel as tired as I did four hours ago when I had gone to bed. I felt a sudden queasiness feeling in the pit of my stomach slowly rising.
"I think I'm going to be sick," I said to nobody getting up and almost running to the toilet emptying what seemed like my entire stomach contents into the bowl.
The smell was putrid so I flushed it rapidly and washed my face.
I then decided on calling Craig. It seemed as though it took forever for Craig to answer but when he did I smiled faintly.
"Are you okay?" were Craig's first words.
"Sort of..." I muttered walked to my bed and getting in.
"What's wrong?"
"I feel sick, I just threw up."
"Maybe you're getting a cold?" Craig suggested hoping it'd only be that.
"I'm just stressed, maybe I should go see a doctor tomorrow."
"Yeah I suggest you do that ASAP."
"Well, thanks for comforting me."
Craig chuckled a little, probably the first laugh I had heard from him in a while, "anytime," he replied.
"I'm going to try and get some sleep now," I said.
"Okay sweetie, I love you."
I couldn't help but frown at how tired and drowned he sounded and felt partially guilty for ringing him just to tell him I was sick.
"I love you too," I said before pressing the red button on my sidekick, placing it on my bedside table and sliding into the sheets, pulling the pillow Craig had called his own closely to me for warmth. It smelt of his cologne and brought back memories.
