I Can't Be Happy [Ulquiorra Schiffer]02

"Do you have any idea why we're here?" Yoruichi asked. Alyson shrugged and pressed her fingers to her temples.

"I do wish that people would show up so that we can get started with the meeting," she mumbled. Yoruichi glanced at her.

"You ok?" she asked. Alyson glanced back at her and nodded.

"Just remembering a few things," she said. Yoruichi pressed her lips together and walked to Alyson's side. She put a hand on the other captain's shoulder.

"You aren't, by any chance, thinking about someone who isn't here anymore, are you?" she asked. Alyson glanced at her and smiled.

"Lee was telling Emi about why I became a captain," she informed Yoruichi, who sighed. Then her forehead wrinkled.

"Who?" she asked. Alyson chuckled.

"My fourth seat, Emi Tanaka." Captain Shihoin.

"Well, it must have been very confusing for her," she commented. Alyson raised an eyebrow.

"Why would it be confusing?" she asked. Yoruichi smiled.

"Well, you did become a captain after deciding that there was nothing that could ever get you to become a captain," she replied. Alyson pressed her lips together and looked away. Her eyes stung with tears that were prepared to fall. Yoruichi's eyes widened.

"Oh, Alyson. I didn't mean to bring that memory back. I really shouldn't have sa…" Alyson held up her hand.

"I was going to have to remember it sooner or later. It's better for me to remember it now than to cry in front of my subordinates," she said turning back to her companion.

"How long has it been since…"

"Since he died?" Alyson asked. Yoruichi nodded. "Twenty years."

"And Lee has been your lieutenant for three years?" she asked. Alyson nodded.

"I don't believe in people just being appointed. She had to prove that she was stronger than all the other seated officers," she explained.

"How often do you think about him?" Yoruichi asked. Alyson's clear green eyes seemed to fade as she looked off into the distance. Then they sparkled with unshed tears.

"I made myself forget." Then her eyes slid shut. She hung her head. "I forced myself to forget the one person who kept me going. And all because I was being a selfish little brat."

"You weren't selfish," Yoruichi told her. Alyson opened her eyes and glared at her. Her eyes held a fire that was enough to make Yamamoto, himself, back away from her.

"You were going to go on and say that he wouldn't have wanted me to dwell on the fact that he was gone. And he wouldn't have, but I promised him!" she said. Yoruichi was confused.

"What did you promise him?" she asked. Alyson pressed her lips together.

"I promised him that I…"

Lee looked towards the doorway again. And yet again she got pissed off. Where was that stupid captain of hers? Emi smiled.

"You know, if you keep expecting her to come and she doesn't, you're just going to piss yourself off even more," she said. Lee punched her. Then she turned back to the door and scowled.

"And you should know not to provoke me when I'm pissed off." Emi clutched her nose.

"You'd think that a girl wouldn't punch another girl in the face!" she grumbled. Lee glanced at her.

"Che, you think I'm a normal girl? I don't give a crap where I punch you, so long as the message gets across." Emi lunged at her and began to fight her. It was all very unladylike. And who would have thought that Emi would actually be the one to start it.

"OW! That's my hair!" There was a crash as things were flung off of every surface.

"Shoulda thought about that before you attack your lieutenant!"

"Are you going to be ok?" Yoruichi asked as she and Alyson left the meeting room. Alyson smiled at her and nodded.

"I should be. Now that I can keep my promise again," she said. Yoruichi smiled and shook her head.

"Have fun," she said and walked away. Alyson waved and walked in the direction of her division.

"I hope I can finish telling the story quickly," she mumbled and hurried to her office. When she had approached the building, Jack White stepped out and shook his head.

"What's going on?" she asked. She could here screams, thuds, smashes, and shatters. Jack bit his lip.

"I'll never understand women," he said and crossed his arms. Alyson stared at him. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll never understand them either. Now tell me what's going on," she said. Jack smiled at the first part of her sentence and then became horrified at her command. He shook his head.

"No way in hell! I can't recount that," he said. Alyson's eyes widened.

"Is it that bad?" she asked. Jack nodded. Alyson took a deep breath and walked inside of the building. She cringed as she heard more things shattering. There were shouts for something to stop or to find the captain. Alyson quickened her pace. She turned down the hall that led to her office. Cheers erupted.

"Oh, please make them stop!" one of the people said. Alyson was extremely confused and she almost wanted to turn back down the hall and not see what was going on in her office. Then her eyes widened. Whatever was happening, it was her things that were being smashed and shattered. She stepped into the doorway. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open. Her hand went to her sword hilt. She unsheathed it.

"STOP!" she yelled. The girls didn't stop. She hadn’t expected them to. The other soul reapers of the tenth division who had come to try and break them apart stared at their captain's sword. Alyson closed her eyes and waited a few moments. When she opened them again, the fire had returned. She lifted her sword and expertly put it between the fighting women. She had both her hands on the hilt. And before anyone even noticed where she had put her sword, the two fighters were slowly backing away from each other, a sword at their throats.

"When did she get another sword?" someone whispered. Alyson had a scowl on her face and she glared a glare of death at nothing in particular.

"Oh, crap!" Lee whispered. Alyson glanced at her.

"Oh, crap is right! First of all, I come back find that Jack will most likely never go back into the division offices. Then I walked down the hall and hear things being destroyed. After that, I see and hear people trying to get some sort of commotion to end. Then, I realize that it's my office that is getting destroyed. Finally, I have to release my sword just to get the two of you to stop! And you know how I feel about RELEASING MY SWORD!" All eyes stared at her sword. It had always been a mystery about what her sword did. And it was disappointing to see that it was just a double sword. Lee glared at all of the people with disappointed looks.

"Seriously? If that's all her sword did, do you think it would be such a dull looking duo?" she asked. Eyes widened. Alyson took a very long, deep breath. She dropped the swords in her hands. Before they hit the floor they dematerialized and then woman stood before them all.

"Be careful! You can't just drop me!" the girl said and then turned to Lee. She slapped her. "And why would you even think of making your captain mad? You already knew that I am stronger than your sword!"

"I wasn't planning on releasing you," Alyson mumbled. Then she clutched Emi and Lee's arms. The other woman laughed. Alyson glanced at the two of them.

"Guess what you get to do." Emi gulped and Lee groaned. Alyson raised an eyebrow when she didn't receive an answer. The other woman, who had appeared, kicked Lee and Emi in the shins.

"Clean up the mess?" Lee asked. Alyson shook her head.

"No, you get to do much more than that. You get repair every single thing you broke. And here's something else, you don't get to take any breaks and once it's done, you get to endure my wrath. That's not all, once you've heard what I've had to say, you will go to every single person in this division and apologize for causing so much trouble. When you're done with that, you can come back and apologize to me and explain what happened and why. And finally, we'll discuss your punishment," she said. Lee groaned.

"C'mon, Anaki! Isn't tha…" Alyson glared at her.

"We'll start with a very small correction. You may not call me Anaki until I feel that you deserve that privilege again. You will address me as Captain Anaki until then. Now get to work!" she hissed. Both girl's scrambled to start cleaning.

It was few hours later when Lee groaned and leaned against the wall. Alyson raised an eyebrow. She had refused to leave them unsupervised. She had sheathed her sword and managed to kick out the subordinates with questions about it. And now she sat at the only chair that had been through a thorough test and deemed fixed.

"Lee, you better keep working," Alyson said. Lee grumbled something under her breath and began to work again. Emi glanced at her captain for a moment before concentrating on fixing another chair. Alyson was trying to decide how to punish them.

"Hey, Captain Anaki! Can you tell us what happened at the meeting?" Lee asked. Alyson stared at her. She decided to annoy Lee. She most definitely deserved it.

"Yes, I can tell you," she said. Lee grinned, thinking she was on her way to being on good terms with Alyson again. She stared at her, waiting for an answer. Alyson was no longer looking at her. Lee kept her mouth shut, thinking that Alyson was trying to find a way to sum it all up. But many minutes passed and still she received no answer.

"Captain? Are you going to tell us what happened at the meeting?" Lee finally asked. Alyson glanced at her again.

"Oh, you wanted me to tell you? You only asked if I could tell you. And I can," she said. Lee stared at her captain, dumbfounded. She opened her mouth to say something, but Alyson held a hand up. "I won't be telling you, though. Get back to working." Lee glared at the ground.

Alyson waited until the entire room had been repaired. She was very proud of the job they had done. Her office looked almost exactly the same as it had before she had left for her meeting. Lee and Emi yawned.

"Let's call it a night," Lee said. Alyson blocked the doorway.

"You aren't done yet," she said. Lee's eyes widened.

"What are you talking about? We finished!" she exclaimed. Alyson raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Captain Anaki, we're done," Emi said. Alyson shook her head.

"You need to go apologize to everyone i…" Alyson was cut off. Lee nodded.

"Come on, let's call a meeting and apologize to everyone all at once," she said. Emi nodded and they took a step closer to the door. Alyson crossed her arms. The fire in her eyes had returned.

"Interrupt me again. Go ahead, you seem to know exactly what I was about to say," Alyson said. Emi and Lee were silent. Alyson pressed her lips together, "That's what I thought. You need to apologize to everyone individually. Go." Lee opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, and nodded.

"Let's go, Emi," she said. Alyson moved out of the way and watched them leave. She smiled and shook her head.

"I'll let them sleep after this. And then I'll finish telling the story. I've already punished them quite enough," she mumbled. She felt someone standing in the doorway. Jack smiled and walked in.

"Captain Anaki, I was supposed to give you these earlier," he said and handed her a stack of papers. Alyson groaned.

"You wouldn't be in the mood to do paperwork, would you?" she asked. Jack shook his head. "Didn't think so. Thanks, Jack." Alyson set the papers on her desk and then sat down. Jack lingered in her office. She looked back up.

"Do you need something?" she asked. Jack shook his head.

"You're just so on top of things. I was admiring," he said. Alyson smiled.

"My captain trained me very well, didn't he?" she said. Jack tilted his head to the side.

"You mean Captain Schiffer? Was he always on top of the paperwork?" he asked. Alyson laughed.

"You act like paperwork is interesting," she said. Jack shook his head.

"No, it's just that no one really talks about him so I don't really know what he's like," he explained. Alyson nodded.

"Yes, he was on top of his paperwork. And he always seemed so serious, but he wasn't really like that at all. I think it was just me though. He was never serious when we were alone. I don't know what to tell you about him. What do you want to know?" she asked. Jack thought about it for a moment.

"What did you call him? I mean you, personally. Did you call him captain or by his first name?" he asked. Alyson smiled.

"I called him Captain Schiffer and he would get upset. He'd say, 'Why do you have to be so formal? Can't you just call me Ulquiorra?' And I told him that he spoke to formally for me to call him by his first name," she said. Jack smiled.

"That's interesting. I wish I could have met him," he said. Alyson smiled.

"I think a lot of people would have liked that. I know that I wish I could still be lieutenant," she said. Jack shook his head.

"I don't get why you don't like being captain," he said. Alyson shook her head.

"I like being captain; I just didn't want the position. Having that much power makes me angry. I try not to command you too much. I try to let you come to me instead. Having power to hold over someone else's head is never a good thing," she said. Jack smiled.

"The people who don't want power are the best ones to have it," he said. Alyson stared at him.

"Or so we've been told," she said. Jack stood up.

"I probably should go," he said. Alyson shrugged.

"You don't have to unless you want to," she said. Jack glanced at the door.

"I need to go see someone," he admitted. Alyson smiled.

"Have fun with that," she called as he left. Then she stared down at the paperwork she had to do. She smiled, "Enjoy yourself tonight. Tomorrow is going to be the start of something new for you. I have plans for you now, Jack." Then she began her paper work.

☻Author's Note☻: Ohhhhh, what plans? Ok, sorry. This isn’t really to tell you anything or catch you up. This is because I really need a break, but I don't want to get off the computer. So yep. I think this filler crap is going to take up a few chapters… Back to your reading

Lee walked back into Alyson's office. She sat down in the chair across from her captain. Alyson raised an eyebrow and glanced at the door.

"Yo! Give me my talking to and punishment so I can go to sleep!" she demanded. Alyson looked back at her with false shock. She leaned her head forward, waiting to hear a certain someone say her name. Lee rolled her eyes.

"Captain Anaki," she growled. Alyson smiled and leaned back, completely ignoring Lee's demand. Lee leaned forward and knocked on Alyson's desk.

"What?" she asked.

"My punishment," Lee reminded. Alyson glanced back at the door.

"Where's Emi?" she asked. Lee shrugged.

"Like I know," she replied. Alyson shrugged.

"Go find her," she ordered. Lee growled but did as she was told. Alyson returned to her paperwork. As she stared down at it, she remembered sitting in her captain's office and doing paperwork while he talked about anything and everything. There was a knock at her door. She glanced over and sighed. One of her fellow captains walked in and sat in the chair that Lee had previously occupied.

"Why do you never talk to me seriously?" he asked. Alyson looked up at him.

"What do you mean?" she asked. The captain sighed.

"We have fun messing with each other, right?" he asked. Alyson smiled a tiny bit.

"Even though everyone thinks we're serious?" she asked in response. The other captain nodded. Alyson sighed, "I was just reminiscing."

"I noticed. Now tell me why you didn't come to me and talk about it. We joined the 13 Court Guard Squads together. Besides Lee, I'm your best friend," he said. Alyson looked away.

"It isn't like remembering made me depressed," she said. He raised an eyebrow.

"You sure looked depressed," he commented. Alyson stood up and walked around her desk.

"Look, Shinji, I'm fine. I promise. You don't really need to worry about me," she said and grabbed his hand. He looked up into her eyes.

"That doesn't make me not worry," he told her. Alyson smiled.

"I know," she said and yanked on his arm, pulling him up in the process. She then shoved him over to the door. "But I really am fine. And you have work to do." Shinji turned back to face her.

"I have a lieutenant for that. But I'll go," he said. Alyson waved goodbye, "I'll be back though. I know that you're lying. And I also think that you should come down to my division some time. You never come over anymore." Alyson shrugged.

"I came over today and you weren't there. I do like your lieutenant though. He seems perfect for the job," she informed him. Shinji let his mouth fall open. Then he through his hands in the air.

"Next time, come when I'm there!" he said. Alyson smiled and gave him a hug.

"I'll try," she said. Shinji hugged her back.

"We all miss him, you know," he whispered. Alyson pulled away a little bit to look up at him.

"Really?" she asked. Shinji nodded and let go of her.

"I'll see you later," he said and walked away. Alyson stared down at the ground in shock.

"Hey, Aly, calm down. Please?" a voice begged. Lee stared at her friend but made no attempt to comfort her. Alyson continued to sob. She shook her head and tried to shake off the arm that had wrapped around her.

"He's gone," she whispered. Shinji stared at her then he stared at the tenth squad captain. He was lying very still on the ground.

"Hey, it's going to be ok. We need to get you back. You're beat up really badly," he told her. Alyson shook her head and dug her fingers into the ground. Lee took a step forward and faltered.

"You can't mourn like this! You're a soul reaper! People die and you need to get over it!" she said. Alyson glanced at her friend. Lee took a few steps back, shocked by the expression she had seen. If they ever meet again and he's taken away again, I'll see that face again, she thought.

"Just let me stay here a while longer," Alyson pleaded. Shinji removed his arm and stood up.

"Ok, we'll be over by that tree. Call for us when you're ready to go," he said and walked towards the tree. As he passed Lee, he dragged her with him.

Alyson stared down at her captain. He was really gone. She was confused though. If he was gone, shouldn't his body be fading away? She squeezed her eyes shut. Why did it have to happen like that? Something touched her cheek. She opened her eyes again. Her captain stared up at her.

"Captain Schiffer!" she sobbed. He smiled a tiny bit.

"It was an honor to work by your side," he whispered. Alyson's lower lip trembled. He put his thumb over it.

"Don't die," she whispered. Captain Schiffer shook his head.

"Alyson, this was my last battle. I am proud to die for what I believe is right. I will be reborn in the real world. I don't mind. Now I need you to do me a few favors," he said. Alyson nodded.

"Of course, whatever you need," she said. Captain Schiffer closed his eyes.

"First I want you to kiss me," he said. Alyson trembled. It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss him, she did. It was that she knew this was his goodbye kiss. Slowly she leaned down and pressed her lips to his. When they pulled apart, he smiled up at her.

"Now make me a promise," he said. Alyson nodded.

"What?" she asked. Captain Schiffer stared right into her eyes.

"Promise me that you won't ever forget me," he said. Alyson nodded.

"I'll never forget you," she repeated. He smiled.

"Now I know you never wanted this, but I want you to take my place as captain," he said. Alyson shook her head, eyes wide.

"I don't want to be captain!" she said, "I can't be a captain!" He smiled up at her.

"I know, I know. But those who don't want power are the best suited to have it," he said. Alyson shook her head.

"But I don't want it!" she said.

"I understand that. Will you please promise me that you will be captain? Do it for me. Please, Alyson? I don't want anyone else but you to take me place," he said. Alyson was silent for a moment. Then she sighed.

"Fine, I'll take your place," she whispered.

"Thank you! Now there is one more thing I want you to do," he said. Alyson pressed her lips together.

"Alright," she said. He stroked her cheek.

"Call me by my first name and tell me goodbye," he said. Alyson's eyes widened. She looked away. "Tell me!" Alyson looked back.

"Goodbye… Ulquiorra," she whispered. He smiled.

"I love you, Alyson," he said. Alyson stared at him.

"I love you too," she replied. And then Ulquiorra closed his eyes. His hand fell to his side and Alyson collapsed. Her head was on his chest, her face down. She began to sob again. That was Shinji and Lee's cue to come back. They had already sent back the rest of the soul reapers.

"Captain Hirako? Is she going to be ok?" Lee asked. Shinji glanced at her.

"Did you hear what he told her?" he asked. Lee nodded. "It'll be a while, but he gave her a huge task to keep her busy. The first promise she made him, he meant for her to break. He wants her to move on. She'll be ok someday, we just have to patiently wait for that day to come." Lee nodded.

"I don't know if I can wait," she admitted. Shinji glanced at her.

"We'll have to find you a distraction as well," he said. Lee pressed her lips together.

"Like what?" she asked. Shinji tilted his head.

"Why don't you suggest to Alyson that she make people earn their positions as seated officers. She'll knock you down to the bottom instead of appointing you as lieutenant," he suggested. Lee nodded.

"Ok," she said.

"Besides, you'll make more friends that way," he added. Lee punched him. Then they reached Alyson.

"Hey, Aly?" Shinji asked. Alyson sat up. Her hair covered her face.

"He's gone," she whispered. Lee and Shinji crouched on either side of her. Each of them hugged her. "I miss him," Alyson stated. Shinji nodded.

"We'll all miss him," he told her, to which Lee nodded. Alyson stared at the ground where her captain had been, where her love had been; he was really gone this time.

Alyson shook her head and walked back to her desk. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to clear her head. Then she smacked the desk. She sighed, "I have to push forward now. I have to. Even if I suddenly am unhappy. I can't just let myself fall. I have to make an effort to be happy. I can't just tell myself that I can't be happy."