Too Late and You're Just in Time (Adoption) I know you'd gang bang him (1)

I opened the door to find a guy in a hoodie. Aww damn! I thought it would be some famous person…
“Ello ello kind gentleman. What have thou come-eth for on this dreary and dreadful night?” And no, I’m not British…
“Uh…yeah…well me and my friends,” my friends and I, “got lost on our way back to our hotel and we thought someone here might know how to get back…”
“Well…what’s the name of the hotel?”
“Yeah, we don’t really know…”
Seriously? Oh goddess, seriously? Does he think I’m a magician or something? God.
“Well I can’t really help you without the name…if you wait here for,” I checked my watch, “an hour or two, the caretaker will be up and you can describe the place to her.” That’s the best I could think to do. Invite a random guy in to hang out with me for the next couple hours…
The guy seemed to think about it and then shrugged.
“Why the hell not? My friends can just drive around for awhile while I wait. One sec.” The guy pulled out his shiny and new and pink and pretty phone.
“Have all the secs you want and yes…I did just say secs because that’s how I roll.”
The guy smiled, yuppers we still don’t know each other’s names, and started to dial on that secsy, haha it’s like a punny joke…no one gets my humor…, phone.
“Yo guys…yeah this is Jimmy you dumbasses…Ima wait here and you guys can drive around for awhile…yeah…I’ll see ya later…no it’s a little kid…a boy…yeah he’s cute in a girly way…I know, you guys would probably gang bang him…yeah I’ll tell him…mmkay…byez…”
Interesting one-sided conversation this “Jimmy” guy had going for him. Not creepy at all…
“So kid,” I’m not a damn kid! “my friends said, “since you’re so adorable,” that they would gang bang you.”
Yup, definitely not creepy.
“Thanks…? So…you wanna watch some T.V. with me? I think Jackass is still on…”
“Don’t watch Jackass or Viva La Bam too much.”
“….........Are you kidding me? Those are two of the best shows ever! I mean it’s a bunch of adult guys acting like eight-year-olds on crack. How is that not entertaining?!”
“I’ve just been the target of pranks like that a lot and it’s not fun.”
“Well fine. We’ll watch Invader Zim then.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Dude…it’s Invader Zim…do you need a choice?”
“Good point…lead the way my good man!”
So me and “Jimmy”, whose name I’m still not sure about, watched Invader Zim for about three hours until Mrs. Rodriquez came down. Blah blah blah he gets directions blah blah blah he calls his friends blah blah blah tour bus pulls up blah blah-wait…tour bus…that means famous people…who could be in bands I like! Yayz! Go “Jimmy”!
“Aiden…Aiden!...AIDEN!”
“Um…hi”
“Aiden, please help Jimmy with his bags.”
He had bags? When did he get bags? Why did he need bags?
“Of course Mrs. Rodriquez.”
I helped “Jimmy”, he looks more like a George, with his bags and walked to this bus-thingy.
“So…um…who is on…well you know…”
“You wanna know whose on the bus?”
“Yes pwease!”
“Oi guys! Come meet that cute little kid I told you about!”
“Jimmy”, now known as George because I said so, has a really loud voice…
“Le gasp! He…is…adorable! He’s like a girl!”
“He looks like Ryan did when he was a kid!” Smack.
“Can we keep him? Pwease Jimmy?”
By now I was in the air and getting handed off to different figures in hoodies.
“Guys, put Aiden down-”
“Even his name is adorable!”
“And introduce yourself so he knows whose molesting him.”
I was set down and I looked up at the five, now “unmasked”, guys around me.
“Holy shit! You guys are…