I Can't Be Happy [Ulquiorra Schiffer]02

Alyson pinched the bridge of her nose as she watched Ichigo fight. Blood was spewing every where and she was not basking in its glory. Not that anyone in the world, that happened to be sane, would bask in the glory of blood. Did blood even have glory? Why am I, the author, rambling about blood? I should be telling you about Alyson and her adventures in Hueco Mundo. Excuse me, I meant Alyson's love story in Hueco Mundo.

Alyson concentrated on locating that tiny piece of orange that contained the vital location of her friend. What was she supposed to do? If she interfered what would happen? She let her eyes flutter and then close. What should I do? I can't leave Orihime, but I can't just stand by her and watch either. Gah, I wish I were a slave or something… then I could be told what to do! Alyson brought up her other hand and put it to her forehead in the way that signaled that she was trying to sort something out.

"What if he dies?" Orihime whimpered. Alyson tilted her head slightly to glance at her friend. Her eyes flashed and narrowed simultaneously. She turned her head back to Ichigo. Her mouth was a very thin line.

"If you die," she said in a voice that the boy probably couldn't hear, "I'll bring you back to life and kill you again." Orihime and Nel glanced at her. A tiny smile cracked on both of their faces. Alyson, however, had been very serious about the matter. She knelt down and continued to watch the fight with her nose pinched and a hand on her forehead. As she thought about how her hands were placed, she smirked. It's almost like I'm trying to squeeze the thoughts out of my head and keep them from coming out my nose. She stayed in that position, wondering what to do. It was what seemed like eternities later when she stood up. She glanced at Orihime and dropped both of her hands to the side.

"Hey!" she said. Orihime turned to look at her, eyes wide.

"What is it, Alyson?" she asked. Alyson shook her head.

"I'm leaving. Don’t let him die," she replied.

"Why would I let him die?" Orihime asked.

"Because of the consequences," Alyson replied with a smirk. Orihime's eyes widened.

"Are you going to hurt me?" she asked. Alyson laughed and shook her head.

"I'm going to hurt him. You wouldn't want him to die twice, would you?" she asked. Orihime shook her head. Alyson smiled, "Then don't let him die." Orihime nodded.

"I won't!" Alyson nodded and walked away. She didn’t know where she was going. She knew where she wasn't going. She knew that there were things she needed to take care of. She didn't know how to deal with them right now.

"I can't see Ulquiorra yet. He needs to wallow in guilt. Lee is most likely with Gin and the thought of seeing him suddenly terrifies me…" Alyson trailed off. She tilted her head to the side. Seeing Gin suddenly terrified her? What?

☻Author's Note☻: This is going to go back in time. Mainly because I just thought about it and the manga is going back as well. You most likely won't like this but you can deal with it. So basically the filler chapter that you were going to get last time, you are getting now…

The door burst open. The girl, who had sprinted over to her division to tell her captain the news, stood framed in the doorway. She was panting. Her captain stood up.

"What is it?" The girl stared up in awe at the woman who was her captain. Her lieutenant stood next to her with her head tilted to the side. Both of the women looked so similar. It was the lieutenant who spoke first.

"Shall we start with the usual question?" she asked. The girl stood up straight and shrugged.

"I guess." Her lieutenant's eyes flashed with excitement.

"So what would you do if we were reborn in the new world and you turned out to be mine and our captain's mother?" she asked. In a flash, the captain had smacked the back of her head.

"Stop with all that nonsense!" she cried. The lieutenant rubbed her head and the captain returned her attention to the girl, "But I would like to know your answer for today, Emi." The girl smiled at her captain.

"I guess I wouldn't remember my days as a soul reaper and so I would treat you like my children," the girl called Emi replied. Her captain smiled.

"And are you still following Jack White around?" the captain asked. Emi pressed her lips together and looked away.

"Well, yes," she replied. Her captain shook her head.

"And do you still secretly love him?" she asked. Emi looked at her with a terrified expression.

"How did you know about that?" she cried. The captain smiled.

"I do my best to understand my subordinates." The three women glanced at the door when another person came barging in. The captain sighed.

"I thought it would at least be someone interesting. What is it?" she asked staring at one of her fellow captains.

"I've got a new lieutenant! And you are stuck with boring old Lee!" he cried. The captain rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Shinji. Are you gloating?" she asked. His eyes widened and he took a few steps back, shaking his head all the while.

"I just thought I would come and tell you about my new subordinate."

"Well, we'll all be hoping that you don't get this one killed," she replied. Shinji frowned.

"Captain Anaki! You should be happy for me," he cried. Captain Anaki frowned.

"I thought you were laid back. Why am I the only one you address as Captain?" she asked. Shinji smiled.

"You scare me," he replied. Captain Anaki scowled.

"If I scare you so much, maybe I should injure you for calling me Captain Anaki," she said taking a step forward. Shinji's eyes widened and he stepped back. He was waving his hands around.

"I'll call you Alyson if you really want me to! Ok? Please don't hurt me!" he said and zoomed out of the room. Alyson rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, what were you going to tell me, Emi?" she asked. Emi stared at her captain. She reached a hand up and scratched the back of her head.

"Uh, Captain Hirako kind of beat me to it," she replied. Alyson nodded.

"Oh, ok then," she said and glanced at her lieutenant, "What should we do today, Lee?" Her lieutenant glanced at her and shrugged.

"I suppose we could go check out this new lieutenant of Captain Hirako's," she replied. Alyson sighed.

"I hope he isn't as hyper active as the last one," she mumbled. Lee laughed.

"Hopefully they will have gotten someone to keep that stupid man in check besides you," she replied. Alyson shook her head.

"Like anyone could do that. And he really isn't that bad. He just goes crazy around us. Oh the joy of being the captain that has to put up with him!" she exclaimed with false enthusiasm. Lee shrugged.

"The tenth squad isn't so bad." Alyson shook her head.

"No, it isn't." Lee sighed.

"You are so boring, Anaki! It's almost as if you aren't happy to be a captain," she sighed. Alyson's forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. Lee sighed.

"You look blue all of the sudden," she replied. Alyson smiled.

"Nope. I'm just not looking forward to meeting this lieutenant," Alyson informed both of her subordinates. "Would you like to accompany us, Emi?" Emi's eyes widened.

"Oh I don't know if it's my place to-" Alyson held up her hand.

"I just asked you if you'd like to come. That makes it your place. If you don't want to come, you don't have to," she replied. Emi bit her lip.

"Ok, I'll go. But if we pass-" Alyson held her hand up again.

"If we pass Jack, we won't expect you to continue on with us," she replied. Emi smiled. Of course Captain Anaki would understand. Emi blushed and tried to look away and hide it. She felt a hand grab her face and pull it back up.

"You don't have to hide your blush. It's not something you have to worry about hiding around uhh," Alyson trailed off and glanced at Lee, who was grinning in a teasing sort of way, "Well you don't have to worry about hiding it around me."

"That's good to know," Emi mumbled. Alyson walked over to the door. Then she glanced back.

"I changed my mind. You two stay here and I will go meet this lieutenant on my own. You know, teach him why Shinji fears me," she said with a smirk. Lee stood up.

"Don't you mean Captain Hirako?" she asked. It appeared that Lee had something against her captain using other captain's first names around her. Alyson shook her head slowly.

"No, little one, I mean Shinji. If you don't like my usage of first names, I suggest you plug your ears," she said and walked out of the room. Lee shook her head and glanced at Emi.

"What seat are you in again?" she asked. Emi glanced at her.

"Fourth." Lee snorted.

"That's gay," she informed Emi, who looked quite offended.

"It's only two seats below you," she replied. Lee glared at her.

"I know that!" Emi smirked.

"Really? I thought you couldn't count," she replied. Lee crossed her arms.

"Why aren't you third seat?" she asked. Emi shrugged.

"Jack is third seat," she replied. Lee scoffed.

"Like that makes a difference! I'd take it from him and give him orders," Lee replied. Emi smiled sweetly.

"You act so polite for Captain Anaki," she commented. Lee shook her head.

"Psh! That woman! That's only because I'm scared of her. Haven't you noticed that most people are?" she asked. Emi shrugged.

"She doesn't scare me. But I suppose since you were just appointed as her lieutenant that you would fear her," was the other girl's reply. Lee scowled.

"I've been her lieutenant for three years," she hissed. Emi stood up.

"I wonder why she decided to go alone." Lee glanced at her, got pissed off for no reason, and looked away again.

"She always does that. She really doesn't like most people," Lee trailed off. Emi sat back down.

"You finished that sentence like there was more to it than that," she said. Lee glanced at Emi. She pressed her lips together and looked at the floor.

"There's a reason she became a captain. Did you know that she really didn't want to be one? To her, being a captain was the worst position anyone could have," Lee said. Emi tilted her head to the side.

"I wish I could be captain. Why would anyone not want to be a captain?" she commented. Lee leaned back.

"The same reason that I don't. Being a captain ties you down. You can't mess up anymore. Once you're captain you have to set the bar. Things change. Like the friends you had start to fall away. They think that you've changed just because you've achieved Bankai. That's my personal reason. Captain Anaki had her own reasons. She won't tell anyone. She won't even release her sword in battle. She got really good at fighting with it as just some sword. But I think she's one of the better captains. Those who don't want power are probably the best ones to have it. They won't take it for granted," Lee said. Emi stared at her.

"So do you even know why Captain Anaki became a captain?" she asked. Lee glared.

"You weren't a soul reaper when Schiffer died, were you?" she asked. Emi shook her head.

"Well, he was the captain of this squad before Anaki. She was his lieutenant-"

"So what seat were you?" Emi asked. Lee narrowed her eyes and looked away.

"Fourth," she muttered. Emi grinned, "But I beat the third seat before Captain Schiffer ever came close to dying!" Emi still smiled. Lee sighed and continued with her story.

"Anyway, Anaki and Schiffer were really close. No one really understood it until after he had died… But that's later. I knew that Captain Anaki could do Bankai before she even entered the Shinigami Academy. We had mastered it together." Emi's eyes widened and Lee nodded, "Don't you dare tell anyone that I can do Bankai!"

"So you and Captain Anaki have been friends for a long time?" she asked. Lee glared.

"Best friends. I told you already, we just don't like to show it! Let me tell you the story though. Where was I? Oh yeah, mastering Bankai. See mine and Anaki's blades are identical. They are sister blades. We could achieve Shikai at different times, but whenever we tried to attempt Bankai on our own, it wouldn't work. Finally we realized that our swords had basically the same ability, I won't tell you what it is so wipe that look off your face. We don't tell people our sword's abilities. Why do you think we keep our swords in their normal form?" Lee growled. Emi pressed her lips together.

"That's a very interesting thing… twin blades," she commented, "I have a question though, if you could do Bankai, why were you in the fourth seat?" Lee sighed.

"Because I didn't let on that I could do Bankai."

"Then how did Captain Anaki get to be lieutenant?" Lee sighed again.

"When she was in the third seat, all ranked officers of the tenth squad had to go on a mission to eliminate a hollow infestation. At the time, she wasn't very good at using her sword like it was some ordinary sword. The hollow she was fighting finally became too much for her and she had to release it. Schiffer saw and the rest is history." Emi thought that was an interesting thing but the story wasn't catching her attention. Lee smiled.

"Do you even want to know why Anaki is our captain?" she asked. Emi shrugged.

"I guess," she replied. Lee leaned forward.

"It's a love story," she whispered. Emi stared at her.

"HECK YES I WANT TO HEAR IT!" she basically yelled. Someone cleared their throat.

"Do I even want to know?" a person at the door asked. Both girls turned their heads to see who it was. Emi blushed a dark red when she saw him. It was Jack White. Le shrugged.

"You've already heard the story from Anaki herself. I'm just telling Emi the reason that she became captain," Lee replied. Jack rolled his eyes.

"It's better when Captain Anaki tells it," Jack said, "Speaking of which, is she here?" Lee raised an eyebrow.

"Does it look like she's here?" Jack shook his head and backed out of the room.

"I'll come back later," he said. Lee smiled and waved goodbye. And then Jack disappeared from view. Lee turned back to Emi, who had stood up.

"Where are you going?" she asked. Emi glanced at the doorway.

"Jack said the story is better when the captain tells it," she replied. Lee rolled her eyes.

"That's because Anaki leaves out all the details. Jack thought it was better because she spared him the mushy details," Lee informed her. Emi sat back down.

"Oh, that's no fun!" she exclaimed. Lee nodded in agreement.

"I had to force them out of her. She doesn't like talking about it anymore though. So it probably would have brought back sad memories if you had asked her to tell you," Lee added. Emi nodded.

"But you say it so easily. 'You weren't a soul reaper when Schiffer died, were you?' You say it like it was no big deal," Emi said. Lee was looking at the doorway. Her eyes were wide. Emi turned to see what she was looking at. There in the doorway stood Alyson. Her eyes were wide with horror; her face was sad.

"Why are you talking about that, Lee?" she asked. Lee pressed her lips together.

"Emi's never heard the story before. I thought she'd like to hear it," she said as innocently as possible. Alyson walked into the room and sat on the ground in front of them.

"Well, Shinji's lieutenant was busy so I didn't stay long. He seems like a very mature kind of guy. I think that he's going to do the trick for his captain. And if you're going to tell that story, I might as well be here to stop you when you start to exaggerate," she said, leaning her head back on the chair behind her. Lee smiled.

"You want to remember it again, don't you?" she asked. Alyson stared at her.

"I can hardly remember what he looks like anymore," she admitted. Emi gasped.

"That's so sad. Oh please tell the story, Lee. So that Captain Anaki can remember," Emi instructed. Lee began to laugh.

"It is sad, but it isn't like it's the end of the world. Anaki can tell it on her own. But because she might tear up, I'll tell it," she said. Alyson glared and then closed her eyes.

"Whenever you're ready, Lee," she mumbled. Lee sighed.

"I forgot where I was," she admitted. Emi was happy to assist her.

"Captain Schiffer had just appointed her as his lieutenant," she said. Lee nodded and Alyson opened her eyes.

"I remember that day," she commented, "I released my sword and more hollows attacked me. He was the one who saved me. Do you remember how beat up I was, Lee? He carried me the whole way back in one arm and rubbed my back with the other." Lee nodded.

"You were sobbing the entire time. He thought it was because you were overwhelmed by the attack."

"I was overwhelmed!" Lee rolled her eyes.

"Only because you had to release your sword," she reminded. Alyson sighed.

"I was still overwhelmed," she insisted. Emi grinned. For some reason, she couldn't remember seeing this side of her captain and lieutenant.

"Anyway, so he carried her all the way back. And stayed by her side the whole night while she slept. In the morning, despite her injuries, she burst into my lodging to tell me that Captain Schiffer had appointed her as lieutenant. He ran in after her, threw her over his shoulder, and dragged her down to the fourth division. She had made the injuries worse and now needed medical attention," Lee said with a smile. Alyson smiled as well.

"I was just so excited. I mean, I was at the highest ranking I ever wanted. I never wanted to go any higher," she said in her own defense. Lee just smiled. Emi's forehead wrinkled.

"So technically you didn't defeat the third seat, you just got move up because she was promoted," she said. Lee scowled and Alyson laughed.

"Yeah, she likes to pretend she beat me," Alyson said. Lee crossed her arms and looked away.

"But what happened to the other lieutenant?" Emi asked.

"Lee must have forgotten to tell you. The other lieutenant died in battle. He had tried to go up a Menos Grande in the real world and it killed him before Captain Schiffer could come to his aid. It was a really sad time for the tenth squad," Alyson explained. Emi nodded.

"That makes more sense," she replied. Alyson grinned and turned to Lee.

"Are you gonna pout or are you going to finish telling my story?" she asked. Lee turned back.

"Anyway, she was in the fourth division's care, right?" Emi nodded, "Well, the captain visited her everyday. I mean, she was his lieutenant now, but there was something more that no one could quite say what it was for sure." Alyson blushed a light shade of pink.

"Well, maybe except for Anaki here." Emi was surprised to see her captain actually blushing. Nothing ever embarrassed Alyson or so it had seemed.

"Well it isn't like you know what happened during those visits," Alyson said. She stuck her tongue out at Lee, which was so not how Emi had ever pictured a captain behaving. So it was true, people did look at the captain's differently. They were just normal people, not counting their extremely high reiatsu.

"Why don't you tell us what happened, Anaki?" Lee suggested. Alyson's face turned a darker shade of pink. Emi giggled.

"Was it embarrassing?" she asked. Alyson glanced at her and then got this far off look.

"Well, at first, he just told me that he thought I was very pretty. He said that when I first joined his squad, which had been at least five years previous, he had noticed me, had learned my name within the first week of my being there. Basically, he told me that I had caught his attention-"

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Emi exclaimed. Lee rolled her eyes.

"That's boring!" Alyson smiled at her.

"We talked about lot's of things that had no significance. We played the what if game a lot too," she continued. Lee faked a yawn, which signified that she still thought that the story was rather dull. Alyson forged on.

"You have to remember that because I had ran around with wounds that probably would have needed lots of medical attention anyway, I had to stay in the fourth division for a few weeks. It was during the third week that I was allowed to sit up again," Alyson said.

"Why is that important?" Lee asked. Alyson smiled and held up a hand.

"Later that week, Captain Schiffer confessed something to me," she replied. Lee leaned forward, that statement had hooked her.

"This is the part you never told anyone about, isn't it?" she asked. Alyson nodded.

"What did he tell you?" Emi asked. Alyson grinned at both of them, her face growing redder.

"He told me that he had fallen in love with someone. I didn't understand at first and my heart hurt because I thought he meant someone else. I asked him who it was, curious as to who had taken his heart. He stared at me like I was stupid for not putting it together," she said. Emi leaned forward.

"He sounds dense. He probably will just inform you that it was you. What he should have done was kissed you, to be more romantic," Emi commented. Lee nodded her head in agreement.

"He was pretty dense after all," she added. Alyson smiled.

"He wasn't dense," she replied.

"What do you mean by that?" Lee and Emi asked in unison. Alyson stared at the two of them.

"He took a step closer to me and grabbed my hand. 'After what I'm about to do, I will leave the room and let you think about it,' he said. I stared up at him confused. He let go of my hand and figured he was going to leave. But he bent down, placed a hand on my cheek, and- oh, I feel so weird talking about it!" she said. Emi's mouth hung open.

"He kissed you?" she asked. Alyson turned bright red but nodded.

"Get out of here! HE DID?" she exclaimed. Alyson began to laugh.

"Yes, he did. It was gentle and soft. And then he left the room. That was how I finally realized it was me that had taken his heart. Goes to show how ignorant I was," she commented.

"Oh my goodness! That is just so romantic!" Emi gushed. Lee rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, who'd of thought that the most un-romantic guy ever could actually come up with something like that?" she said. Alyson shook her head at their comments.

"Lee, would you like to continue from there?" she asked. Lee shook her head.

"You cast a whole new light on the story. I can't tell it now!" Lee exclaimed. Alyson sighed and opened her mouth to continue. Then a hell butterfly flew into the room. Lee caught it on her finger with a scowl on her face. Then she glanced at Alyson.

"Just when it was getting good. Yamamoto is holding a captain's meeting. I guess we'll have to pick up this enchanting tale later," she said. Alyson stood up.

"You know, I've never met another lieutenant who paraphrases messages from the commander," she said and walked over to the exit. Then she glanced back.

"I'll finish the story when I get back, alright?" Both Emi and Lee nodded.

"Have fun at the meeting, Anaki!" Lee called. Alyson had already disappeared, but she hadn't actually gotten that far.

"Psh! I wish!" she called back. Lee began to laugh.

"Is the suspense killing you yet? You still have no idea why she became captain," Lee said. Emi shrugged.

"I've got some pretty good guesses." Lee nodded.

"Uh huh, sure you do."

"I do!"