I Can't Be Happy [Ulquiorra Schiffer]02

☻Author's Note☻: First off, I just want to let you know how excited I am about this chapter!!!!! THIS IS THE TWENTIETH CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I'm done!! You have no idea how excited I am. I could have just filled this entire page with exclamation points! That's how excited I am. :D Ok, ok. On to the story!

Ulquiorra stared at Alyson. He had never seen her look so… broken. He scratched the back of his head. What was he supposed to say to her? He had never been one to speak much but he remembered not having difficulty talking to her. Maybe it was the look on her face that was giving him so much trouble. Then he thought of something and he knew it would sound extremely rude. But he had to think of a way to talk to her.

"Do you mind turning around for a moment?" he asked. Alyson's eyes widened. Dull eyes.

"I heard that Orihime slapped you, would you like me to do the same? Again?" she asked. She had no intention of doing as he asked. Ulquiorra brought a hand up to his cheek. He smiled at her. Alyson sucked in her breath. He just smiled at me! Who the heck does he think he is? She didn't like that grin on his face.

"I hate you. You said you were going to let me go," she hissed. Ulquiorra stared at her.

"I believe I said I would let you go if it would make you happy again. You responded by telling me that it wasn't possible for you to be happy. So I can't let you go," he replied. Alyson turned her head to the side.

"I still hate you!" Alyson countered.

"No you don't," he said. Alyson took a step towards him. She was now standing three inches away from him, staring directly up at his face. He looked down at her in surprise.

"I thought I told you not to tell me how I feel!" she hissed and jabbed her finger into his chest… hard. She pulled it back the next second grabbed her finger with her opposite hand and bent over. Ulquiorra shook his head.

"You don't have to hurt yourself over something so trivial. Don't get so worked up," he said. Alyson glared at him.

"I wouldn't get worked up if you didn't look at me the way you did! And then say the things that contradict every defense I have against you," she growled. Ulquiorra took a step towards her. He bent down to her level.

"Don't you think that means that you aren't supposed to be building up defenses against me? Shouldn't you be letting me in?" he whispered. Alyson scowled.

"Shut up!"

"You didn't even let me explain yesterday."

"Shut! Up!" she repeated. Ulquiorra placed a hand on her back and straightened up, pulling her up with him. Alyson's whole body tensed. When they were standing up, Ulquiorra dropped his hand and Alyson built a little protection around her hand and punched him. Ulquiorra only smiled and shook his head.

"That didn't even hurt. See, if you really hated me, you would have used some drastic morphing power of yours to really hurt me," he informed her. Alyson shook her head.

"I just wanted to hit something without getting hurt in return. As long as your going to be like this, I'm going to take advantage of you as punching bag," she replied. Ulquiorra shrugged.

"If it satisfies you, I don't mind," he said. Alyson narrowed her eyes. She looked towards the door.

"I could lie and tell her everything is all better. She'll let us out and I can get away from here," Alyson mumbled. Ulquiorra shook his head.

"One problem," he announced.

"Shut… UP!" she hissed.

"I won't participate in that little plan of yours," he said.

"I don't need you to," Alyson informed him. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"If she opens the door and sees you glaring at me, she's going to slam it in your face again," Ulquiorra pointed out. Alyson sighed. She mumbled something under her breath. It sounded like a curse word. It was impossible to tell which one however.

"Well, you should help me," she said, coming up with an idea. Someone banged on the other side of the door.

"Don't listen to her, Ulquiorra. She's lying," Lee called from the other side. Alyson smacked the side of the door she was on.

"You ruin everything!" she yelled back at Lee. There was amusement in Ulquiorra's eyes. He was sure that Lee was grinning on the other side of the door.

"Tough cookies!" Lee called. Alyson opened her mouth to yell something back at Lee. Then she tilted her head to the side.

"Why cookies?" she asked. There was a snort on the other side of the door.

"Why do you even care?" Lee counter-asked. Alyson sighed.

"Because cookies aren't tough," she replied.

"Cookies are way tough!" Lee said. Alyson shook her head even though Lee couldn't see.

"No, cookies are crumbly and delicious," Alyson insisted. Ulquiorra stared at her, wondering what a cookie was.

"You still can't have any!" Lee replied. Alyson shook her head and turned away from the door. Then she realized that she looking at Ulquiorra and averted her gaze. Ulquiorra sighed.

"You know you could just be understanding and forgive me," He said. Alyson snapped her head up.

"Why would I forgive you? I hate you!" she said. How many times was she going to have to tell him that she hated him? He shook his head. Obviously that wouldn't be the last time.

"You don't hate me. You're suffering from some sort of trauma," he said. Alyson raised her eyebrow.

"Trauma? You must be sick in the head! There is nothing to be suffering trauma from… not including the events from yesterday," she replied. Ulquiorra only stared at her, wondering what Alyson would do when she came to realize that he was right. There was another bang on the door. Alyson turned to it.

"What are you going to tell me that I've deluded myself into not recognizing when I've become traumatic?" she called.

"That's exactly what I was going to tell you! See, here's how it is: after the accident you basically went catatonic. Don't interrupt me, I know you don’t think you did that, but you did," Lee said before Alyson could put her two cents in on that subject.

"Fine, why don't you continue with this diagnosis?" she grumbled.

"Anyway, you never really sorted out your feelings about the accident. What it was like to have all of your family taken away from you. You locked it away. And now you are actually being forced to reveal how you felt about all of that. Basically post-accident trauma," Lee summed up. Alyson's eyes narrowed.

"I agree with you about the locking away of my emotions. That's what I always tend to do, but trauma? That's the most idiotic statement I've heard. If you're finally done diagnosing me for trauma, I'd appreciate it if you'd quit playing doctor," she said.

"But Alyson!" Alyson closed her eyes and willed all sound to just leave her. For the first time in her short life, she wished she were deaf. She had managed to get Lee's long and terrible reasoning behind her diagnosis to a low buzz. She rocked her head from side to side, hoping it was almost over. Then she felt a body come right up behind her. Her back actually touched their chest. Well, his chest. For some reason, despite her feelings, she felt very warm and tingly having him right there. He smacked the door.

"Lee, she's not listening to you. It's probably better if you just stop talking," he called. Lee's voice disappeared and Alyson readjusted her ears to hear everyone. Then she turned around so that she was facing a chest. She looked up into that person's eyes.

"That's rude," he said, staring down at her. Her eyes widened.

"What?" she asked. Her voice was barely audible over the thumping of her heart. Had it managed to overcome her mind? Had it succeeded in becoming dominant? Alyson couldn't hear herself think.

"You don't even say thanks," Ulquiorra replied. Alyson took a deep breath. Why had she ever let him go? So he punched a hole in her friend, he was only trying to do what he had to for Aizen. A tiny voice piped up. 'He punched a hole in your friend! That's reason enough!' it shouted.

"Thanks," she repeated. Ulquiorra gave her a slight smiled. Alyson closed her eyes and leaned against the door. She seemed to be having some internal conflict.

"What are you trying to decide?" he asked. Alyson opened her eyes and studied him. Just stared. Her mind was slowly starting to realize what her heart was telling her? She was starting to realize that her mind wasn't going to get her where she wanted to go.

"I have a question for you," she stated.

"Alright." Alyson took another deep breath. She took that moment to figure out how to word this.

"This is a hypothetical situation, first off." Ulquiorra nodded that he understood. "So let's say that I were to forgive you for the wrong that you've done. Would you overlook the fact that you did punch your fist inside of my friend's chest or would you work hard at getting me to forgive you?" Ulquiorra knew that if he waited to long to answer, he would miss his chance to get her back. But he couldn't think of how to word what he wanted to say. Alyson stood there waiting for a response.

"I would work hard to get you to forgive me, but I would also try to get you to understand my reasoning behind my actions," he said finally. Alyson let one of her arms fall to her side. She gripped it tightly with her other hand. She stared at the ground.

"If I had been born as something like a tree, I wouldn't need to go through all of this," she mumbled. Ulquiorra instinctively wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close to him as possible.

"If you had been born as a tree, we never would have met and you would never experienced things like love and anger," he replied. Alyson didn't try to pull away from him. She wrapped her arms around his middle, that small voice in the back of her head screaming for her to get away. Alyson didn't want to listen to it.

"You're right," she whispered. "You're right!" She had just realized what he had meant by her not hating him. She was only angry. Well, more than angry, she had been ultra-furious. Ulquiorra gripped her shoulder and pushed her away so he could look into her eyes.

"I am? About what exactly?" he asked. Alyson pushed against his arms and buried her face in his chest. He chuckled, which was an extremely comforting sound for the person who got to hear it.

"About me not hating you and about me suffering from trauma and about how if I were a tree, I wouldn't get to experience the great things that come with being a human," she mumbled into his chest.

"What trauma are you suffering from?" he asked. Alyson maneuvered her head so that she could stare up at him. And for a moment that was all she could do. Stare.

"One day, you're going to meet a guy that you'll actually fall in love with and I'll beat him up because that's how it had to be. Then you'll hate me." Alyson shook her head.

"I could never hate you. But why would you beat this guy up in the first place? If I love him, why would you even bother?" she asked. The boy across from her smiled.

"Because! You're one of my best friends and I'm very overprotective of you," he replied. Alyson shook her head and sighed.

"It's ok to tell your friends that you love them. They aren't all going to get weirded out," Alyson informed him. The boy smiled a cheesy smile.

"You're really talkative today, Alyson," he said. Alyson crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm not speaking to you again until you can admit that you love me. It only means that you truly care about your friends, Ichigo!" she said and turned her head away. Ichigo sighed.

"Fine! I love you…" he said. Alyson turned back to him.

"Thank you! That wasn't so ha…"

"As a friend," he finished. Alyson glared at him. He grinned in response and grabbed her in a hug.

"I'm the only person you actually hug, you know," Alyson informed him. Ichigo nodded.

"And I'm the only one you actually talk a lot with. I mean, you speak about five words to everyone all day, but with me, you don't shut up," he said. Alyson hugged Ichigo back.

"In any case, I could never hate you and you still haven't explained why you would beat up a guy that I love," she said looping the conversation back to how it had started. Ichigo released her.

"I would beat him up to make sure that he never treated you bad. And if he ever did, he'd know what would happen," Ichigo replied. At this part, he punched his hand with his fist. Alyson rolled her eyes.

"You'd scare him away, is what you'd do!" she exclaimed. Then she stood up, smacked Ichigo's arm, and walked out of the room. Ichigo ran after her.

"Where are you going, Aly?" he asked. Alyson turned around.

"To go hand out with Orihime and Tatsuki," she replied and jogged away. Ichigo shook his head as he watched her retreat.

"I will beat whoever the guy is who steals your heart into oblivion if he hurts you. That's a promise, Alyson," Ichigo swore to himself, seeing how Alyson was already out of hearing range. Ichigo smiled. Alyson had been his first friend. He would protect her with his life.

Ulquiorra grabbed her chin and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Alyson almost smiled, but something stopped her. Ulquiorra noticed her change in expression.

"What's wrong, Alyson?" he asked. Alyson pressed her lips together.

"We aren't going to forget that we fell in love are we?" she asked. Ulquiorra shook his head and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I only told you that because that's what I thought you wanted," he explained. Alyson smiled for real this time. She laughed a little too.

"I guess we just had our first fight," she chuckled. Ulquiorra stared down at her, eyes wide.

"That was an ultra-dramatic 'fight'," he replied. This only caused Alyson to laugh harder. "What?" Alyson shook her head.

"I just never thought I would hear you use the word ultra in a sentence," she replied when she had calmed down. Ulquiorra sighed.

"So just for clarification, we are still together?" Ulquiorra asked. Alyson pressed her lips together. Then she smiled at him.

"That really depends on if you can redeem yourself," she replied, stood on her tippy-toes, and kissed his cheek. Then she swiveled around in his arms and banged on the door. Lee opened it. She smiled as Alyson zoomed out. She waved to the both of them and took off down the hallway. Lee grinned at Ulquiorra.

"Looks like you have you're work cut out for you," she said with a smirk. Ulquiorra had a suddenly annoyed look on his face.

"I can suddenly understand why Gin thinks Alyson is annoying," he commented. Lee tilted her head to the side.

"What do you me…. Hey, that's an insult!" she yelled, but Ulquiorra had already left. Lee crossed her arms.

"I am not annoying!" she huffed to herself. Then she closed the door that she had just opened and walked away. Where should she go? She decided to go see Gin. She was comfortable with him.

Alyson had other plans for the day. As much as she would have loved to start Ulquiorra's redemption period, she really did need to go check on Ichigo. After all, she had just remembered that he had promised to beat up anyone that hurt her… or something along those lines. She stopped running for a moment.

"I need to go see Orihime as well. Come to think of it, I should go see her first. It was kind of strange seeing Grimmjow walking around the area by her room," Alyson mumbled to herself. She started to sprint again. This time her destination: Orihime's room. When she approached it, she saw a giant hole in the wall and that was enough to scare her. She took a step inside and found that no one was there.

"What the… Great! Now I have to find her!" Alyson pirouetted and sprinted out of the room. Then she stopped again. "I'm a moron! I'll just use my 'map!'" And that is what she did. The dots she saw shocked her. Ichigo appeared to be fighting Grimmjow, which meant that Orihime had healed him. She forced herself to run faster. She could feel the strain on her legs.

She reached the place where Orihime was watching. Nel was with her. Alyson sighed and walked towards the two. She tapped Orihime's shoulder. She had an amused look on her face when Orihime jumped in fright.

"Alyson! Don't do that!" she yelled. Alyson smiled. Then she looked past Orihime to see Ichigo.

"He hasn't gotten himself slaughtered, has he?" she asked. Orihime shook her head.

"You two really are best friends, aren't you?" she asked. Alyson stared at her curious as to why she had asked.

"Is that bad?" she asked. Orihime shook her head vigorously.

"It's just I can see the concern you have for him in your eyes. It makes me wonder if I could ever care for someone as much as you care for Ichigo," she replied. Alyson grinned at her.

"You already do. I've seen that look in your eyes for me before. You truly care for all of us and you outshine all of us in that aspect. I could never care for as many people as you could. The only people I truly care about I've either known forever or developed an extremely close bond with."

"Still it would be nice to care for someone with the same intensity as you," Orihime commented. Alyson shook her head.

"You don't get it! You care way more than I do! I'm almost jealous," Alyson informed her. Orihime smiled. Then the two of them hugged each other.

"This is the you before the accident! Alyson, you really are back!" she cried. Alyson shook her head.

"Nah! I just stuck my head back out of my shell."