Never Fall Asleep -Ronnie Radke- You Won't Wake Up --24--

"Don't you think those are a little too short?" Eric asked raising his eyebrows at me the minute I walked out of the bunk room after changing into my pjs. I looked down at my shorts and then back up at him.
"Don't you think your hairstyle is a little last year?" I shot back.
"No seriously Jewel! Your shorts look a little too short. Turn around."
"No!" I exclaimed. "You just want to see my butt."
"So you do admit that they're too short!"
"No I don't," I said crossing my arms. "They're my pj shorts...there's nothing wrong with them. It's not like I'm going to go model in them for everyone on tour," I said rolling my eyes. "Ronnie!" I whined. He looked over at me from the couch.
"What?"
"Are these shorts too short? Eric said they were," I pouted. Ronnie's eyes traveled down to my shorts.
"No, they're fine." I smiled at him.
"He's only saying that because he's your boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend," I laughed.
"Fine whatever. He's your friend with a benefit," Eric said rolling his eyes. "They're too short."
"No they're not!" I argued, groaning. "Just so you'll shut up I'm gonna bend over to show you that they're not too short!" I huffed and turned around, then touched my toes. "See they're not too short!"
"Eric you're retarded," Craig said throwing a pillow at Eric's head. "I didn't see anything."
"Thank you Craig," I smiled, pulling my shirt down.
"They're too short," Eric sung in a small voice. On my way to the couch, I managed to flick him in the back of the head.
Ronnie got a cheesy grin on his face and laid his head down on my lap.
"Why are you so lovey tonight?" I asked pushing his hair out of his eyes. He shrugged.
"I guess I'm in a lovey kind of mood. Is there anything wrong with that?" he questioned. I smiled shaking my head.
"No I kinda like it," I grinned tapping his nose.
"Good. I like it too," he grinned back.
The door opened up and Lauren came on. She had a huge smile on her face. When she saw me, she jumped on the couch. Ronnie groaned.
"Oh shut up Ronnie, I totally heard that," Lauren said looking at him for a second, then at me. "Guess what guess what!?" she exclaimed, attaching herself to my arm.
"Um what?" I asked afraid that she was going to do something dramatic.
"Josh asked me out," she said grinning wide.
"Did you say yes?" Ronnie asked.
"Duh," Lauren said.
"Then why are you telling us this?" Lauren sighed hitting Ronnie on the head.
"Shut up. You'd never get girl gossip," she replied rolling her eyes.
"Well I'm happy for you Lauren. Josh was telling me about it earlier," I said to her. She smiled.
"Really?" I nodded.
"Did you guys kiss?" Matt asked. Lauren shook her head.
"What? Why not? Is he too scared to kiss?" Ronnie asked. "Christian boys," he muttered.
"Yo I heard that and there is nothing wrong with Christian boys. I'm one and I kissed my girlfriend on the first date," Matt replied.
"And I like Josh a lot. If he doesn't want to kiss right now, then I'll wait until he does," Lauren said.
"You really like him don't you Lauren?" I asked. She nodded.
"I do Jewel. He's incredible! I've only known him for a few short days, but I do like him. He's a total sweetheart and gentleman. And he likes to have fun," Lauren grinned.
"Isn't he like old?" Jared asked.
"No," Lauren said shaking her head. "He's only twenty-five. He turns twenty-six in a month," she answered.
"Aren't you nineteen?" Eric asked.
"Yeah. Age is just a number people," Lauren said standing up. "I'm going to change for bed." She walked to the bunk room and shut the door behind her.
"She's taking things slow," Ronnie muttered.
"Hey she likes Josh a lot. Maybe she wants this," I defended.
"We didn't," he said.
"Because we're just a couple of whores," I joked winking at him. "And I recall hating you the first time I met you."
"You didn't hate me. That was sexual tension building up. You wanted to jump me, but you were afraid," he smirked.
"Please Ronnie. Your ego needs to be deflated," I replied.
"I know this may be a little nosey and such, but how many times have you guys had sex?" Eric asked. Ronnie and I both looked over at him.
"Ten. Five times in the chair you're sitting in and five in Jewel's bunk," Ronnie answered with a straight face. Eric literally jumped out of the chair he was sitting in. All of us burst out laughing.
"He was kidding Eric. Do you actually think we would do that?" I laughed. "No um we've only had sex like what? Twice," I shrugged. "And once was in Ronnie's bunk and the other was outside the venue."
"A quickie? Ewwie!" Matt shrieked like a girl.
"Oh Matt don't knock it till you try it," Ronnie sung.
"No thanks, not where people could see me," Matt said scrunching his nose in disgust.
"Have you ever had sex Matt?" Ronnie asked.
"That is none of your business," Matt replied.
"That's a no," Ronnie laughed.
"Hey I want to wait until the time is right alright? I love my girlfriend very much. She wants to wait until marriage and personally I think we'll get married one day so I'll wait," Matt shrugged.
"That's really sweet Matt," I smiled at him. "That's the good way to go."
"And you ruined your's when you were a teenager," Jared joked. I threw a flip flop at him. "I was kidding!" he laughed.
I sighed picking my fingernails. The room became silent. Everyone was looking all over the bus before Craig turned the TV on.
"Who wants to watch American Idol rewind?" he suggested.
A mumbled chorus of "I don't care" was heard throughout the room.
Craig left it on American Idol and turned it up since the TV volume was awfully low.
Jared did have a point. I totally wasted mine when I was a teenager and on a worthless person who wasn't worth my time, but obviously I thought he was. I could've saved my virginity like Matt for the person I love, the person I knew who I'd spend the rest of my life with, but I didn't. I don't even know who that guy is yet. I don't even know if he's out there somewhere for me.
What's Ronnie to me? He's certainly not my boyfriend for we agreed that we'd be exclusive. We didn't want to have the relationship that would cause drama and end with someone's heart broken. All Ronnie and I do is talk, make out, and well...have sex. I could do that with anyone...but why is it with Ronnie? Why in the end does it always come back to Ronnie? Does he feel the same way about me or am I just a friend who he likes to have a good time with?
"Are you okay?" Ronnie asked sitting up to look at me.
"What?" I asked breaking out of my thoughts.
"You were sitting there like a statue for a while. Are you alright? Do you need to sleep?" he asked worried.
"No...I was just thinking is all. I'm fine," I smiled getting up. "I'm going to go talk to Lauren. You okay staying out here with the guys?"
"Yeah I'll survive," He smiled. I nodded and went to the bunk room and opened the door.
"Dude!" Lauren yelled, then saw that it was me. She quickly pulled her shirt on over her head and huffed. "I thought you were one of the guys sneaking a peek at me." I rolled my eyes shutting the door behind me.
"You wish Lauren, but you're already taken," I smiled.
"Yes I am. What's going on?" she asked throwing her dirty clothes in her bag.
"Nothing really. I just came back here to talk with you," I shrugged moving Matt's curtain and sat on his bed, watching Lauren put her hair up in a high ponytail.
"Oh yeah? What's bugging ya?" she asked getting her lotion and squirted some in her hands. "Want some?" I shook my head so she threw it back in her bag.
"I don't really know how to say this," I said playing with my hands.
"Want to go in the back room?" she asked. "So it's more private?" I nodded so we both walked back there. I sat on the couch, flopping my feet on Lauren's lap. "Ooh I have some gummy bears. We went to the gas station earlier. Want some?" she offered holding out the bag. I shook my head. "Goodness something is bothering you because you won't eat. Usually you'll be the one to attack me for food," she smirked.
"Yeah well something is bugging me..big time," I sighed.
"What is it? You know you can tell me." I nodded.
"I was thinking about me and Ronnie," I started and looked over at Lauren. Her eyes never left mine. "I don't know if what we're doing is right. I mean yeah he's a really nice guy, he's hot, he's a great listener when you want him to be, and he's um pretty talented in bed," I laughed, "but we're not anything. If someone were to see us holding hands walking down the streets, they'd think we were dating, but we're not. Yesterday when we went to the gas station, some lady said that we were the cutest couple ever and you know what?" Lauren shook her head shrugging. "I wished that for once we were a couple. I must be going crazy because I want to be Ronnie Radke's girlfriend," I laughed, covering my face up with my hands, laying my head back on the arm of the couch.
"You're not crazy for thinking that," Lauren softly said. "Personally I think you two would make an awesome couple. Ronnie has that hardcore dark party side to him and you have that funny clumsy innocent yet a sinister side to you. You two would totally clash. I like it," she said scrunching her nose up. "So what's holding you back from being his girlfriend?"
"He doesn't want to be in a relationship! We agreed on that," I groaned. "And if I were to bring that up in front of him, it might scare him off because of his last relationship that ended sour. I'm afraid that he won't want that," I said shaking my head.
"Not want to be with you? Jewel have you seen Ronnie lately? He's crazy over you! He'd do anything for you Jewel. You seriously have done something to him," she smirked.
"Yeah well I don't know," I shrugged looking at Lauren. "And last night after our date I looked into Ronnie's eyes and what I saw was a lot like love...like I could spend the rest of my life with him. Is that weird?" Lauren shook her head, resting her hand on my knee.
"It's totally normal. You're developing strong feelings for Ronnie and that's usually good in a relationship. Maybe he's feeling the same way too. I wouldn't doubt it," she smiled. "Why don't you talk about this with Ronnie?"
"Because he's not the type to talk about that stuff. What if you and Josh were like that? Would you tell him that you might love him?" Lauren shrugged.
"Probably not because I'm a chicken," she laughed. "Do what your heart tells you to Jewel. 99% of the time it's right," she smiled shaking my leg. I nodded.
"One day I'll tell him," I sighed. "Gimme some of those gummy bears. Quit hogging them," I said stealing the bag from her. Lauren laughed tugging on them.
"Get your own! I bought you your own bag!" she squealed throwing another bag at me.
Lauren and I stayed in the room talking until we were getting tired. She told me a lot of stories about her when she was younger. We exchanged a lot of stupid stories that made us laugh for about an hour. By the time we were out of stories and laughter, one of the guys opened the door.
"Hey it's almost two," Craig said.
"In the morning?" Lauren stupidly asked.
"Yeah...." Craig said making a face. "You girls gonna head to bed soon? We all are."
"Yeah we're coming," I said getting off the couch. "Come on Lauren. You need your sleep since you can't tell time," I laughed. Lauren got up and we both left the room and went in the bunk room. Ronnie was already in my bunk so I said night to Lauren and climbed into mine.
"I was wondering when you were going to come in," Ronnie mumbled, pulling me to him right against his chest. I smiled patting his hand that was resting on my stomach.
"I'm in here now. Lauren and I were talking," I said yawning. "I'm so tired."
"Me too," he said, burying his face in the back of my neck. "So Jewel?"
"Hm?" I asked sleepily.
"I was thinking that we should go on another date...by ourselves this time. What do you think?"
"I like that idea," I smiled.
"Good cuz I did too. Night babe," he said kissing my neck.
"Night Ronnie," I said scooting closer to him if it were possible.
In the city was a sinner, I've done a lot of things wrong but I swear I'm a believer
So Ronnie and I are going on another date? That makes me happy. Maybe Lauren was right. Ronnie might be thinking the same thing I am.
I seriously think I'm falling in love with Ronnie Radke.
............................
rate/mssg/cbox
Feedback is the ultimate luv
Song of the Day: The River- Good Charlotte

much ♥ rock out
Cat